Okay, not sure how to say this without exploding but here goes nothin

[Alistair]

So


I just found out that my girlfriend is sending nudes and talking very sexually with another guy through her e-mail and she thought I wouldn't find out.


I know it was wrong of me to be in her personal business, but I had had this suspicion that she was cheating before.


My wariness was right and I can't believe she would do this to me. I'm not sad or mad, just very, very, very, disappointed.


I've been lied to and cheated on in every other relationship I've been in, including this one.


I really do love her, but she broke my trust.


I probably need to further explain that after I had saw the messages I asked her if she was sending nudes to other people. She lied and told me that she wasn't.


I'm just looking for comfort and advice. I really don't know where else to turn at this point.

[Snow Kittie]

I would end the relationship. If you had suspicions that means that this relationship hasn't been very healthy for a while. To many, sex is the most private and personal thing, and if shes going to share her most private thing with another man while in a relationship with you, and then lie about it, there must be a line drawn somewhere. A solid line that does not budge and is not persuaded or moved by doubt. Once this line is crossed the relationship is over. There will always be a longing to keep the relationship, a doubt in your mind about whether it is the right choice, this is why the line needs to be in place, and a clear line too. It is not a matter of pluses outweighing minuses, it is a matter of yes she crossed the line or no she didnt.


Having what seems to be an intimate relationship with another man without your consent or knowledge and then sending nudes to please him as if your not enough, and finally lying about it as if she can continue cheating and its ok. Is your line further than that? Or has she crossed it?

[Jay_Foxx]

So


I just found out that my girlfriend is sending nudes and talking very sexually with another guy through her e-mail and she thought I wouldn't find out.


I know it was wrong of me to be in her personal business, but I had had this suspicion that she was cheating before.


My wariness was right and I can't believe she would do this to me. I'm not sad or mad, just very, very, very, disappointed.


I've been lied to and cheated on in every other relationship I've been in, including this one.


I really do love her, but she broke my trust.


I probably need to further explain that after I had saw the messages I asked her if she was sending nudes to other people. She lied and told me that she wasn't.


I'm just looking for comfort and advice. I really don't know where else to turn at this point.

A relationship is built upon trust and respect, as well as love. Your girlfriend has clearly shown she can not be trusted, and that she does not respect you (lying to you). The songs say love is all you need, but love can only go so far if there isn't trust and respect as well. So sadly, if I were in your position, I would end the relationship. Better to end it now than to get hurt later on.

[Alistair]

Update on this


I talked to her about it, and told her I found the e-mails; she was very apologetic but I'm highly sure if she never would have been caught she wouldn't have bothered apologizing.


I ended it with her, and we're staying good friends after the fact.

[Jay_Foxx]

*hugs*

I know you'll meet another when the time is right. I'm glad, though, that the two of you can remain friends. A good friend is something to be cherished and held onto tightly.