A story I wrote about two years ago.(unedited)

[juliet]

"You're dispicable." She spat putting her foot in the middle of my back shoving me to the ground.
        She, is Ever. My enemy by fault. She's always had a disliking towards me. Stronger than others. It's no doubt I'm hated by many. But she can't stand the sight of me.
        "Now, now Ever... You shouldnt say such things." I chuckle. Not fighting back even with all the voices around us telling me to 'fight.'
She clutches her teeth and slams my head into the cement floor. The room we are in is the gym. After school hours. I was practicing boxing on a punching bag across the room. The floor is cool. Now stained with crimson. There is a group on the metal black painted bleachers watching and snickering. I wounder how I didn't feel they're energies when they entered the gym. Otherwise I wouldn't be in this situation. Getting my ass kicked by the head cheer leader. This is glorious just, glorious.
        "Shut up. You bitch!" Ever exclaims getting frusturated. I chuckle. She is really, I can't find a way to discribe this moron.
       "What? Scared I'll tell mommy and daddy?" I chuckle again. "Think you can get me to loose it so easily? Like you? You hothead." I snicker. "Try as you might it will not effect me. You witch." I am saying as I will. She cannot make me feel the pain she wishes me to. In honest I'm in no fault. Ever is just pyschopathic. I hardly talk to her. My own cousin.
        "Don't make me put you in the hospital again" She growls. I laugh.
        "Go ahead. Try to suceed in your dastardly deed." She goes to kick my head and I grab her ankle, pulling it making her fall on her butt. I stand , blood down half my face.
        "Ah , ah Ever dear. Remember who you are against atleast. You can't hurt me alone." I say letting her ankle go. I wipe my left eye covering my right hand in my own blood. Her friends on the bleachers pull out metal and wooden bats. So the softball and baseball teams this time? Great... I look around quickly trying the find a way to escape then I see a metal pole, thin enough to menouver well. I dash towards it and am quickly struck in the mid back with a metal bat from a male baseball player. I gasp falling to the floor in my red mid-thigh shorts,black tanktop and white zip-up jacket. I quickly roll onto my back stopping the next blow with my gloved hands. Gripping the bat and pulling the male towards me kicking his torso. He looses the grip on his bat and falls backwards. I hop up flipping the bat so I grip the handle with both hands.
        "Back off." I say lowly as the group closes in all around me. They all snicker as if it were a joke. I glare and swing the bat at several of the people.
         "I mean it!" I say turning watching all of them. Then I hear Ever laugh.
        "You aren't so tough now huh Roza?" She sneers. I frown and drop the bat looking down waiting on the beating. I refuse to fight. To hurt people without as much as knowing they're names. A wooden bat hits the inside of my right knee and I drop to a kneeling position. Not making a sound. Then they pelt me with hit after hit. I loose count of where, how many times, or how hard. They don't hit my face or head because I'm croched down covering it. My long thick hair in a ponytail. Some how I loose my grip on reality and somewhat later I'm struggling against strangers saying something that I can not understand in my current state. Then one of them puts a wet rag to my head and I snap back into reality. But I still dont reconize these people. Or know when they found me. Nor how.
        "Who are you? Where am I? What do you want from me?" The questions rush out of my mouth. A woman is putting together antibiotics. Several males are holding me still.
        "For one. We don't even know who you are yourself. We were going to practice but you were laying in the gym floor passed out and briused." One of the males says. I look at them all.
         "You may let go I won't try to hurt you now." I say quietly. They hesitate a moment but let me go and a male with auburn hair and blue eyes is still holding the cool rag to my forehead. He looks me in the eye but I look away. The woman starts to use a cotton ball to clean my scrapes on my legs and face. As I look at my legs I'm slightly surprised to see just a few bruises.
        "Um, pull up your shirt when you go home and look at your back.... it's pretty bad..." a male with black hair says. I nod frowning. When the girl has finished she cleans up the antibiotics and cottonballs quickly. Then she faces me placing a hand on my shoulder.
        "How do you feel?" She asks and I shrug.
        "I don't really feel different from before I was jumped..." she nods.
        "Who did it?" She growls. "I'll break all their fingers and gorge their eyes from their heads." The boys just look at her with wide eyes. I do the same. Then I snap myself out of it.
        "It's normality now you don't have to worry about it." I say as one of the guys pull off my leather gloves looking at my porcilen hands to make sure nothing happened to them. She sighs.
        "Well. You're an amazing boxer. I've seen you. Why don't you stop them?" She looks me in the eye I look away as the guy covers my fists with his.
        "I'm a tad small don't you think?" I say quietly looking at the male. He has black longish hair and his eyes are covered. The girl smiles and giggles.
        "That doesn't even matter. Use their size against them. I'll show you what I mean." She runs off quickly and I take no notice to what she does next until she calls for my attention. Until then I look at those who surround me. Not many look like I've seen them before. Maybe transfers in upper grades. But they're all guys.
        "Um so who is she. And who are you?" I ask nervously realizing the black haired boy still has my hands. I gently pull them away. All together there is five boys. I look to the boy with auburn hair and blue eyes.
        "You first." I say. He sighs sitting down.
        "The name is Rick. Don't forget it anytime soon." He says smirking. Then a red head with deep green eyes and cute freckles speaks with an irish accent.
        "I am Maverick Daniel O'connor and it is lovely to meet you." He smiles taking my hand and kissing the back of it he also having an irish accent.. Then a blonde boy with longish hair and seablue eyes takes Maverick's hand from mine.
        "Stop flirting." He chuckles with a british accent and looks to me. "My name is charels mavery. I'm happy to meet you." He smiles brightly. Then a boy with dark brown hair stands coming infront of me looming over me. All these boys do but, he and the black haired boy more than the other three. They are a good head taller than me as the other three vary.  The boy with dark brown hair backs away and bows lightly.
        "My name is Micheal Gron. Pleasure to meet you." He stands strait he also has an accent, german. Charels pats his shoulder.
        "Don't be so formal with her Micheal.. sorry he has very strict bring up and such. Don't mind him." He smiles.
        "Oh no, no! It is me in the wrong here." I say and bow back. "Sorry for my ill manners." I say looking at the ground. Micheal chuckles and pats my back and I stand strait.
        "There isn't a need for you to bow back. Silly girl." Micheal smiles patting my head. Then I look to the boy with long black hair that covers his eyes. He's sitting on the floor infront of the bleachers where we all are. I jump down next to him squatting on my knees.
        "Who are you?" I ask quietly going to move his hair. He lightly grabs my wrist and shakes his head and charels calmly walks down. "This is our quiet russian friend Dimitri. I can't very well pronounce his last name. But he doesnt talk very much or nor like people touching his hair dear. So it'd be best if you left him be." He says looking at me softly. I look to Dimitri.
        "I'm sorry... I didn't know.." I say quietly and he lets go of my wrist patting my shoulder softly.
        "You have a heavy german accent." Dimitri says smiling a bit. His voice has a thick russian accent. I nod and stand looking to them all and I put my hands together infrount of me.
        "My name is Roza . Thats all you need to know for now." I say. Charels is standing on the bleachers infrount of me. They all walk down to where I am beside Dimitri. Then the girl comes back in and is panting a little.
        "Charels come and help me a moment..." she says. He nods walking out the door and they come back in pulling  a matt in. They lay it out. My blood is gone from the floor. The girl walks up to me.
        "My name is Kayla by the way." She smiles then pulls me toward the matt.
        "Um, Roza. What are you doing?" I say as she drags me to the right end of the matt.
        "Teaching." She smiles and pulls Dimitri to the left end of the matt. He is the biggest in the group. My eyes widen.
        "Urm... Kayla.... I cant box a guy that is nearly two heads taller than me..." I stutter. He is, that big. I'm scared of him. She hands me my leather gloves and he puts his own on.
        "Dimitri. Don't go easy on Roza. It'll only piss her off." Kayla smiles. I look at her in astonishment. She just smiles.I sigh and pull my self together moving hair from my face and slipping on my gloves. Charels walks to the edge of the matt.
        "You all know the rules. Try not to spill any blood, I dont enjoy cleaning it up. Ready? Three.... two.... one." he backs away and Dimitri moves toward me I look up at him nervously. He swings his right fist aim to my lower abdonom I block quickly with my left arm and hit his stomach with my right fist he backs up a bit. I cant read his expressions. They're covered. I can't see any openings right now. He's good. The boys and kayla are watching quietly. I charge at him and dodge his left fist jumping up and uppercutting him with my right fist. I hear his jaw pop. Then I start to puch furiously into his chest and stomach until he falls backward. Charels stops me immeadiatly. Kayla's eyes are wide. She claps.
        "Now I ask again.Why don't you stop them?" She looks at me seriously. I shrug.
        "I see no point. Let them try to make me misrable. When they dont succeed they will stop. That's they're way." I say staring her in the eye.
        "If I fight back they will continue they're cycle. That's just how it is Kayla." I cross my arms. She sighs.
        "Alright then I suppose."
        "Anyway. Um. Do you all want to come over for dinner? I want to thank you all for um, helping me." I say putting my hand up to where the skin is split on my head. Charels helps Dimitri up and Dimitri says something that makes Charels laugh. Kayla smiles,       
        "Sure. We'd all love to." I smile as she says so and head for the gym doors.
        "I have to go get my things so I'll meet you at the front of the school." I say getting ready to leave the gym. Micheal walks toward me.
        "I'll go with you." He smiles opening the door for me. I nod walking out quietly. We walk down the dark halls until we come to my locker. I pull out my key from my pocket and unlock my locker getting my bag and a text book. Then I close it taking my key out. Micheal takes my text book and we walk to the front of the school meeting up with Kayla and everyone else.
        As we walk from the school to the appartment complex I live in. Kayla's beside me, Dimitri and Micheal are behind us, and in front of us are Maverick , Rick and Charels. As Kayla chats on I don't really pay attention to whatever she's saying looking around making sure they're going the right way.  I glance at Dimitri and he's staring at me. I blink a moment and he looks away. Now that I notice its actually very late in the day. When we get to the appartments I take them to my room.
        "Even if it's not much it's home." I smile opening the door to my moderate sized appartment. Into the living area has a cool blue carpet with a cream colored sofa and chair. Two black coffee tables on either side of the sofa. The entertainment center has a normal size flatscreen tv, game system, dvd player, cases of movies and games I've managed to get, and a cable box. To the right of the door as you enter on the same wall as the entertainment center. Is a coat rack. Under that is a metal shoe rack. I take my shoes off putting them on the shoe rack.
         "Make your self at home I'm going to change I need to soak my jacket.... um you know.." I sigh holding up my right hand where the sleeve is covered in blood. Kayla just nods. I walk to my room across the blue carpet about six feet behind the couch to the door on the left wall.I open the door walking into a reasonable sized bedroom. To the left was my bathroom. I walk in and fill the sink with cold water taking off my jacket and soaking it in the water. Then I go to my closet and change into sweat pants and a whool sweater. When I walk back into the living room Everyone is watching an action movie that I have. Rick, Charels and kayla on the couch. Maverick in the chair and Dimitri and Micheal on the floor. I smile a bit and go to the kitchen. Which is to the right as you enter. Wooden cabneits black marble counters and white tile floor with a silver metal fridge and a metal double sink. As well as a dishwasher. I cook porkchops,stuffing and green beans and serve it out to everyone as they watch some cheesy movie I have. cleaning up not fixing myself a plate I then go and sit between micheal and Dimitri. Dimitri turns his head to me and when he see's I don't have a plate he cuts off a peice of his pork chop and puts it to my mouth. I bring my head back a bit looking at it. No one seems to notice. He puts it to my mouth and I press his hand away but he puts it back to my mouth. I roll my eyes and put it in my mouth. He slides the fork from my mouth and gives me stuffing next.
        I sigh after he's made me eat half his plate he finishes it off and I take everyones plate and rinse them off sitting back down. Once the movies over Charels takes me to the entrance of my bedroom.
        "Can Dimitri and Micheal stay here with you?" He asks my eyes widen a bit.
        "Um... why?"
        "The appartment we boys live in isn't big enough for all of us... please? You'd be doing us a huge favor." He begs. I sigh.
        "Fine...."
        "Thank you!" He smiles and everyone but those two leave after we finish our movie.
        Micheal sits cross-legged on the couch and Dimitri imitates the position on the floor. I go to my room and get two shets comfortors and pillows from my closet and walk back to the living room and toss them at the boys. All the sheets and thing solid black.
        "Make your beds and go to sleep. You decide where you sleep. If you disturb me... I will beat you." I glare rubbing my eyes.
        "Goodnight." Micheal says and I wave turning around and going into my room laying on my bed and falling asleep quickly.
        Later on I wake feeling someone crawl into bed with me. I sit up tiredly only to get knocked back down. "Ah-?!" My mouth is covered. I look up my eyes adjusting and I see Dimitri calming down. He uncovers my mouth.
        "Where is your bathroom?" He asks silently. I point to the closed the door and he walks over to it going in and I immeadiately fall back asleep. The next morning my alarm goes off and I hit snooze then sit up turning it off my head throbbing.
        "I'm up..." I groan getting out of bed and opening my closet. I hear a bit of chuckling out my door. I sigh and get dressed into a long sleeved shirt and jeans stepping out of my door.
        "Whats so funny?" I look over to see Dimitri, Micheal, and Rick sitting on my couch.

[Nikolai the Lynx]

Interesting story, definitely has an intriguing beginning.

Some minor typos and spelling errors here and there, but overall quite good given it is unedited.

I have to say, I wouldn't mind reading more, but I am assuming this is all you wrote.

I hope you don't mind me giving you some feedback, I saw in your Introductory topic that you asked for some so I thought I would, given that it had been a few days since then and no one else had.

[juliet]

Thank you though it dissapoints me as now I can write an entire paragragh just discribing how someone is standing.Though I wrote this awhile ago it is intesting in the beginning I agree. At the time a lot of things were happening and so mentaly I felt as though I was being beaten to a pulp, I began writing on word document and thus this hideous manipulation of words was born.

[Nikolai the Lynx]

Well I look forward to reading some more of your work.