I can't talk to people for my life.

[Keinai]

Whenever I try to ask a question or start a discussion in a thread, or even start a conversation in real life, I'm always put down, ignored, or the other person/people think I'm trying to pick a fight.

I really don't like being the one to talk first, I just like listening or tagging along to conversations, even with my best friends. There are very few people I'll send a message to when they aren't online or send a message to me first.

I'm a generally friendly person, but it seems my tone or manner of speaking often turns people away. I don't mean to come off rude, I just have tendency to be blunt. I have a fairly 'growly' voice for a female RL and I usually dress very casually. I really am just passionate sometimes and my tone is rough because I really don't how how to handle myself around people.


Another thing is the actual act of talking. After I say something, or think about saying something, I imagine the person I'm going to speak to says 'shut up, no one cares' and I shut up pretty quickly.

I can be very self-conscious of my voice and what I say. I'm always worried I will say the wrong thing, and when I do, there's no one else but myself to blame.

[NautilusWolf]

In terms of your topics you try to discuss, maybe it's because you're a more critical thinker. I'm guessing you like to ask the hard questions that a lot of people don't like to bring up. I've never had a conversation with you, so it's hard to make an accurate guess, but I'd be glad to. ^~^


As for your manner of speaking, maybe it's just that you have a strong personality. Do you have strong convictions? Because some people can be frightened by it for a lack of better words. I don't think the issue is you to be honest. I'd love to have a conversation with you.

It sounds to me as if you have social anxiety as well. I have a similar situation in terms of social conduct. I used to be afraid people would tune me out and talk over me, forget I was even in the group. Now I just find a better group. Why? Because if they didn't want to hear anything I would want to say, then they weren't good friends and I should find new ones. As for the situation in which someone would say for me to shut up, I make it a joke. Take the power from them. I always say, "I'm part Irish, I'm allowed to talk constantly and at the volume I choose." If they want to be an ass after that, I just say, "whatever, see ya," and walk away.

[Keinai]

Hah, I am a critical thinker. ^^ I like brainteasers and rebus puzzles, that kind of thing.
My actually voice pitch is kind of intimidating, especially when I'm angry.

I imagine someone saying shut up to my face, it doesn't actually happen. ^^'

Is social anxiety a true disorder or is it a thing that may be liked to a disorder,  like some people have perfectionism that could be linked to OCD?

[NautilusWolf]

Social anxiety is kinda like a sub-genre of anxiety. It's anxiety, but more precise in its trigger.
Anxiety is usually termed as general or too varied. Social anxiety is, like I said, more precise and contextual. That's just my understanding of it.

As for the hypothetical situation of someone saying shut up, I was giving an example of worst case scenario. It seems you need to be around more people like minded and that value your input. You seem like a great person to talk to!

I love those kinds of puzzles. Especially the ones that interlock and they have a certain way to separate the pieces. ^~^

[Keinai]

Ah. Sorry, I didn't read through the text very well. ^^' My friends are all extroverted so no one else really has the same problems with people that I do. My mom's trying to find a counselor to talk to but she's extremely busy at work.

I don't really know if I'm that fun to talk to, I do have a wide variety of interests though, and I'm 'smart'.
I really appreciate your advice, we could move to PM if you want to keep chatting, as to stay on topic here.

[NautilusWolf]

It's my fault, I jumped to worst case in the hypothetical situation.

That would be okay! PM me and we can chat there.

[Keinai]

you can argue about metal disorders beeing a real thing at all

I really don't want to get into that debate, since it is kind of an awkward topic to me.
Also, that statement has no purpose in the context of this thread.

[NautilusWolf]

That has no real relation to this specific thread, it's rather out of context.