maybe i just need to call it quits...

[Babydoll Animis]

My mom... she saw me sending a rather suggestive message... she lost it and trashed everyting on the desk and screamed at the top of her lungs. Im tired... im so tired... i keep doing this to myself... why cant i just leave stuff alone? haha i cant even cry... even though i made my parents cry just five minites ago... what is wrong with me? Its my fault... its my falt and i just keep making it worse... i just wanna disappear from existence and crouch in a small box for a while.... not like they dont have enough to deal with...

[Fenox Helkiin]

Sub... It's not your fault if your mum flips out because of a message you were about to send. It's hers. She should understand that you are probably just exploring new things to try find out who you are. If your parents can't understand that... It isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself for trying to find out who you are.

[Hiyate]

Yeah, I agree with Aakor. These things you should never blame yourself for. I definitely think she, and just about every parent, should take sometime to better know their children, after all we're not one dimensional characters. We have thoughts and feelings that just need to be acknowledged.

[Trixsie Vixen]

Hey man *hugs*

Personally I don't have a problem with you sending a private message of an intimate nature.

But as a parent I understand conceptualizing your child as a sexual being isn't easy. Intellectually you want your kids to have a healthy, satisfying sex life,  but emotionally you want to lock them away and sit on the porch with a loaded shotgun.

Add in issues of orientation,  internet predators and any fetish details and the emotional voice can really drown out the intellectual one.

Once the shock wears off maybe your parents will be cool, but maybe meeting them halfway by acknowledging theirconcerns as valid might help you make your case that you aren't doing anything wrong.

Without knowing your parents I can only guess what their views are, but if, as you imply, they have a lot going on and are stressed already, any one thing which they do not approve of is enough to condemn any online relationship.

Remember,  just because this is hard for your psrents doesn't mean you have done anything wrong.  So don't be too hard on yourself.

If you want to talk just PM me buddy.