Feeling self-conscious/lonely

[giacomo1324]

I"m an 18-year-old boy and I am very self-conscious about my sexuality. I know that's something that's always been associated about guys my age and that it is normal, but I've never talked to anyone about being a furry.  When I was 16, my older sister found my web history and told one of her friends. When they told me they knew, they both laughed at my face and so I was forced to lie and say that my friends and I looked at it as a joke. Since then I have never talked about it with anyone. I want to tell my friends, but I don't want to lose them. It's taken me this long to post on a forum about it because I know that furries are trying to not be viewed as all sexual deviants. I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I haven't tried to get in a intimate relationship with anyone because I'm attracted to something that doesn't exist  and I'm not sure if anyone who would be in a relationship with me would accept me for who I am. Could someone please give me some advice to help me accept myself for the way I am and feel less lonely?

[Armalite_]

You'd be pretty surprised at how little your insecurities matter in the bigger picture. You're worried about not being accepted for who you are or for what you like and what your interests include but not about socializing or being isolated. It's normal, especially for one to feel exposed and then feel uncomfortable about other's knowing what you're into. It's really nothing to be ashamed or worried about especially once you're older and get out of high school, but you shouldn't be ashamed to be furry. It doesn't make sense for people to drop X-Men comics just because they're called nerds and get bullied for reading them. It's their interest and they're proud to call themselves geeks because of their strong geeky collective bond...a lot like our furry one.

I honestly could never understand other fur's insecurities about being exposed as a member of the furry fandom. I told all my friends when I was in 11th grade after I joined the forums. Yeah, they laughed a bit because they're aware of furries and their antics, but it wasn't to put me down or make me feel excluded, they thought it was funny how I would turn out to be one. Your friends are your friends because they accept you for who you are no matter what. They don't even bring it up unless it's asking about conventions or why I would "waste money" on a tail.

I also didn't see the furry fandom as a part of my sexuality, but rather a weird by-product of my head poking interest at the 6-packs, hot bodies, and porn of an already sub-conscious desire/curiosity. I've been a part of the fandom for a long time. I found an amazing girlfriend at the end of senior year who loved me and my furry-ness even tho she still thought it was strange and bizarre and gay and sometimes thought I was because of it. I experimented with a couple guys around the same time and found out I'm not gay but still admire a few masculine traits.

Long story short, you'd be very surprised at how accepting people are. You need to have more confidence in yourself and your interests to be proud of what you like and who you are. You're still young and have a lot of exploring left to do on a social/emotional/and psychological scale. It will all come naturally and it's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with doing and not. You will find people to love and laugh with, they may break your heart sometimes but it's all part of life to get over it and try again. Don't be afraid of life's endeavors. Learn to embrace and counter them with your best judgement.

[Rocoro T. Pup]

Great example Spike. Well done.

[Drakos]

I was in the exact same place as you when I was your age, hun. Just know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure you are a wonderful person with many amazing qualities and I'm sure you'll find someone who's accepting of you and what you like .


Trust me, I stuck to my guns and it worked out for me in the end, so the same should happen for you .

[Trigahex]

I"m an 18-year-old boy and I am very self-conscious about my sexuality. I know that's something that's always been associated about guys my age and that it is normal, but I've never talked to anyone about being a furry.  When I was 16, my older sister found my web history and told one of her friends. When they told me they knew, they both laughed at my face and so I was forced to lie and say that my friends and I looked at it as a joke. Since then I have never talked about it with anyone. I want to tell my friends, but I don't want to lose them. It's taken me this long to post on a forum about it because I know that furries are trying to not be viewed as all sexual deviants. I am uncomfortable in my own skin. I haven't tried to get in a intimate relationship with anyone because I'm attracted to something that doesn't exist  and I'm not sure if anyone who would be in a relationship with me would accept me for who I am. Could someone please give me some advice to help me accept myself for the way I am and feel less lonely?

 
Don't worry bout it.
 
I'm 16 and Christian and have tons of weird fetishes its normal. I was even sexually attracted to Ratchet from ratchet and clank when I was a kid.
 
I'm 100x worse then you lol Its bad because I'm straight.

[Midnight Madness]

Honestly, Spike shares the exact same view on the matter as I do. My friends actively mock furries and all that but are still friends with furries. My best buddy Troi was not just a furry, but he was also a Pokemon furry. He would always be acting "Buizelly" as he called it, considering his fursona was the Pokemon Buizel and that Buizel was named Buster. My friend Trevor is an active furry still, and his is a fox named Sparky. Likewise, there was Chad, Geoffry, Chance and many others who were open furries, wearing tails and all that around school. (No full suits because masks are not allowed.) But despite this, my "furry hating" friends are never serious and appreciated our company as sincerely as non-furries, as did all the other people I had befriended, whether they knew initially or not.

Yes, they got their jeers and odd looks, their fair share of laughs and all that. But it will honestly fade if you simply treat it like a normal thing and being confident about it. It's a matter of not showing fear and keeping your head held high, they will see you do not feel it is something you should be ashamed of, and they will back off. And if anyone bullies you for it, well, keep in mind that the staff members are there to help you, as that is part of their job.

Overall, many people are much kinder than is let on or perceived, this is an era of changing minds. Don't show shame in the things you enjoy, because it's your life and nobody else's, and that also puts it in their head that your interest is indeed a "shameful" thing, which they take as a green light to mock it. Being a furry isn't shameful, it's harmless. The sexual things you do are for you to know, however, and nobody has to know if you don't want them to.

I also have to say that your sister should be ashamed. As an older brother of three siblings, I make sure that they all feel comfortable talking to me about anything and I never make fun of them for their different views or interests.