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Creative Arts and Media => Artistic Stuff => Artwork => Topic started by: Xleena on May 26, 2009, 05:56:49 PM

Title: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on May 26, 2009, 05:56:49 PM: Hi there, I'm a new furry to this forum, so this is all new and exciting for me! :-[

I've started designing a new comic I'd like to share with everyone! I'm not the best drawer in the world, its a little secondary to the actual story, (so I'm sorry for dodgy backgrounds or perspectives :'( )

Its about a young girl who joins a secret information processing company that is also a major military superpower that most of the world is scared of, and what happens to her as she progresses through the ranks, losing her sanity as she climbs.

Its quite a complicated plot, but there is a fantasy/action plot to it, with some 'political' elements in it.
And also for you minors, there will be some moderate sexual and graphic violence elements in it sometimes, but ill make sure to put warnings on pages like that!
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! :3

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/page0i.jpg

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/page0ii.jpg (slight sexual nature)

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/page0iii.jpg

Thanks for looking, feedback wanted :3

UPDATE!

Well, i've had quite a few readers on my prologue, so i've decided to upload the next three pages. Again, i'd really love to have some feedback (positive or negative- I like to improve what i'm doing!)
Hopefully, you'll find these pages a bit more interesting! peek

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/page1_chapter1.jpg

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/Page2_Chapter1.jpg

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/Page3_chapter1.jpg

Thank you for looking :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

UPDATE!

I've done my page 4 for you folks to enjoy!

Its getting into it now! xxxxxx

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/Page4_chapter1.jpg

UPDATE!

Page 5!

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/Page5_Chapter1.jpg

I'm also going to put the album link, so you can go straight to it if you want to look at narrations :)

http://s619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/

Enjoy! :3

UPDATE!

I've done page 6, but from now on i'll put up pages by posting replies, so that you know its getting updated!

I'll post it now :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: .: ♥ Kiniia ♥ :. on May 26, 2009, 06:03:08 PM: Looks good so far Xleena ^.^ Keep up the good work :D
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Dan Witty on May 27, 2009, 06:12:57 AM: Excellent, I love stylized color schemes. :)

Good work on starting up, too. I have had many comic eggs incubating in my head for years now, but I can never bring myself to put them to paper. I'm such a procrastinator. Props! :D
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on May 27, 2009, 05:05:19 PM: Thank you, :)
I was thinking about updating on my photo bucket if it was good enough, I'd just like people to have more interest in it before i started doing that, I mean there's no point in posting if no one likes it haha! :'(
Title: Re: I've started a new comic (2)
Post by: WingedZephyr on May 28, 2009, 03:27:34 PM: If it's all a part of the same comic, it might be better to keep it all in the same thread. I can combine this thread with the previous one you made if you like.
Title: Re: I've started a new comic (2)
Post by: Xleena on May 28, 2009, 05:33:12 PM: Sure, thanks :3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on May 28, 2009, 07:20:52 PM: There ya go. ^^

What happened to the prologue?
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on May 28, 2009, 09:38:27 PM: I fixed the first post for you.

Ok, I'm now meddling now. XD

It's not a bad start, by the way. Kind of hard to tell without more to see, but keep at it. ^^
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on May 28, 2009, 09:40:37 PM: You're meddlings good!

Yeah, its a little bit of a slow start (but i mean, i've only done three pages haha!) Hopefully it'l be clearer and better in a few pages time! :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on May 29, 2009, 02:06:24 PM: I'm usually slow when it gets to following the story, so don't take it so hard, but I really can't tell whats going on in each of the pictures, maybe adding those yellow 'narration' bars might help....I dunno =3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on May 29, 2009, 06:22:25 PM: awesome advice, can you tell me how to do that? :3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on May 29, 2009, 06:24:14 PM: Quote from: Xleena on May 29, 2009, 06:22:25 PM
awesome advice, can you tell me how to do that? :3
Like in every picture you draw, leave an empty space to fill with narrative dailogue so that the reader has little to no questions as to who, what, where, and why things are taking place...
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on May 30, 2009, 06:41:17 PM: Haha, sorry, i thought you meant that when you scrolled over a page, then a yellow text box would show up narrating, I saw it on a web comic once :3

Post Merge: May 30, 2009, 08:00:28 PM
Right, well I've put some narration up for you guys who are finding it a bit confusing, I didn't really want to spoil my drawings, so on my photo bucket, when you select a 'photo' or page, i've typed the narration into the 'description' section that should be under the page! :th_Pyong-1:

If that still confuses people or you can't find the narration, just say and ill pm you about it :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Soryu/Miayuki Isumi on June 01, 2009, 11:11:18 AM: Well done dear, I am envious =D
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 01, 2009, 11:18:43 AM: Thankyou :) It means a lot that people are liking it! :-[
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: .: ♥ Kiniia ♥ :. on June 05, 2009, 10:25:57 PM: I like how it's coming along ^^
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 06, 2009, 06:02:31 PM: Thanks! I've been away for a few days, but page 6 will be up soon! :) xxxxxxxxxx

Post Merge: June 06, 2009, 08:10:43 PM
Page 6!
http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/Page6_Chapter1-1.jpg
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Dr. Strange on June 06, 2009, 09:08:46 PM: nice job, Xleena.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on June 06, 2009, 10:42:37 PM: Keep going! ^^

One word of advice: I think it's a little hard to tell which way your panels read. You might want to think about that more when you're setting up the layout of each page. The placement and borders of each panel should in some way let your eye flow directly from one to the next without having to stop and think "Oh, wait, am I supposed to go here next? or here?"
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on June 06, 2009, 11:17:20 PM: This is just me, but is most of your characters supposted to have only one eye showing and the rest covered by hair, or are there going to be some variations in hair-style?
anyway, nice introduction for the 'inhuman' charcter :D
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 07, 2009, 12:26:47 PM: I so know what you mean about the panel structure, i'm really sorry for that, and i thought about that problem myself! So when I do page 7, i think ill make the panel structure left to right (obviously) and itl be like (for example)

Panel 1, --> Panel 2, --->Panel 3
Panel 4, --> panel 5

If I change the structure of a particular page, i'll make sure to post about it! (Thankyou for pointing that out)

Hahaha, I know what you eman about the hair covering thing, and its basically intentional for my inhuman looking woman, and you'll find out why :)

Ao's actually got a bit of an emo fashion sense, (his blue hair is dyed haha), it'll be more obvious as the story goes on, and i'll try to draw less emo people hahah :) (and i want to draw loads of extravagant hairstyles, so keep posted :-*)

Thank you so much WZ and CD for your constructive ideas :) xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 08, 2009, 08:57:55 PM: UPDATE!!!
Page 7 for you lovely people!
Just to say that now i'm back at college, I may have to start doing a weekly update because i'll be quite busy! If I CAN update more, i will :)

Thanks for looking!

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/page7_chapter1.jpg

Ps: do you prefer my rough style panels, or would you prefer i neatened up?
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Dr. Strange on June 08, 2009, 09:07:21 PM: wow... really good. Wonder if they'll kill each other.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on June 09, 2009, 01:03:38 AM: Quote from: Xleena on June 08, 2009, 08:57:55 PM
Ps: do you prefer my rough style panels, or would you prefer i neatened up?

I say neaten up. Makes it look all nice and clean. ;)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on June 09, 2009, 01:04:51 AM: I agree, but if it takes too long for you, I can read it like that, btw, does this comic include anything beyond the ordinary? (powers, fur-people, etc.?)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 09, 2009, 04:55:14 PM: It includes powers, but its not a furry comic i'm afraid, I hope thats not a problem =/
Twokinds is a good furry webcomic if you want one (I actually read that before i was even a furry hahaha)!

And yeah i think i will make it neater (the panels) I've just been so unsure, but hey, this is all about developing my ability and myself right?

Thanks so much for all your feedback ^-^! Its good because I can make it better, and therefore people will like it more! haha :)

P.s to queeney (hope you don't mind me calling you that), you'll have to wait and see about if they want to start killing each other, hehe
xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 12, 2009, 04:31:22 PM: UPDATE!!!

Page 8 for you all (I've decided to update on fridays, so please check back then! :3)

Its certainly getting interesting...

http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt278/Xleena/comic/Page8_chapter1.jpg

xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on June 12, 2009, 08:28:08 PM: The neater panels look much better. :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 12, 2009, 08:29:31 PM: Thanks, and you're right, that little more effort is a lot more rewarding :D
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on June 12, 2009, 08:42:23 PM: Whats that armband around the mystery girl's shoulder for?

btw, it looks much cleaner :D
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 12, 2009, 10:29:55 PM: Basically, the arm pads are their ranks '-','=', 'III' and 'IV' are symbols for rank 1,2,3 and 4 of the military institution. Stars on the arm pads means that they're a class one of their rank. :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on June 12, 2009, 10:33:07 PM: wait, its a military institution?! :shcoked:
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 12, 2009, 11:12:41 PM: Hahah, basically its a massive influence over the military.. its not like 'army' as such.. but its political and has ranks.. i'll explain it all in the story! :P
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on June 17, 2009, 09:47:53 PM: Ok, so I've only just noticed this thread xD

If wanted I can set this comic up on the website here for you, you'll get a comic code similar to those used in the web comics you read as part of it and needn't worry about the bandwidth issues then. We'll sponsor it for you.

Just PM me if you want more information.

:)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 19, 2009, 05:12:37 PM: UPDATE!!
Hey guys!

As you can see in the above post, tweak has sorted me a forum sponsored website for my comic! I'm so excited and i will update every friday, so make sure you subscribe to the site and tell everyone you know about the comic! Its not only for my credibility, but for the forums too.

Thanks to everyone reading Troubled eyes, and I hope you keep it up ^_^!

annd heres the site, with page 9!
http://comics.thefurryforum.com/xleena/
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on June 19, 2009, 06:21:03 PM: Yay for getting it hosted. ^^

I'll be sure to keep reading. Are you still going to post in here to let us know when you have a new page? (Not saying you have to, just wondering. :P )
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 19, 2009, 06:27:00 PM: I will happily do that if you like! :)

You can also subscribe, so that might be easier for you guys so you dont have to check, but i will still do it! ^^

Thanks for bringing that point up WZ, and i'm glad your a fan! :) xxxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on June 19, 2009, 08:30:27 PM: /me wonders about update integration

Hmm
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on June 26, 2009, 03:16:23 PM: Troubled eyes had been updated!!

Site: http://comics.thefurryforum.com/xleena/

:3 thanks for looking!
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on July 08, 2009, 01:34:45 AM: Just a note to everyone, this comic automatically updates every Friday (as long as Xleena has done her work!)

Also, the comic will be offline at some point today or tomorrow for an upgrade and change of software to a more powerful and easier to us system, apologies for any issues this brings.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on July 09, 2009, 08:49:40 PM: I also have a new bit of technology that might pimp up the comic!

I gained Manga Studio Debut 4 for my birthday, so its going to be super complicated but worth it I hope. I'll hopefully have a page set up (page 12 or 13) in it, so make sure you guys comment! I wanna know if it looks much better (or much worse) . .
^

hehe, thanks for your support readers! :3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Aqua Wolf on July 09, 2009, 11:30:47 PM: Hey Xleena I just saw your comic today. I thought it was awesome. Keep up the amazing work.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on July 10, 2009, 04:47:52 PM: Page 12 is now online!
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on July 10, 2009, 07:19:36 PM: Thank you for your kind comment Aqua wolf, i'll try my best! :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on July 17, 2009, 01:17:03 PM: UPDATE!!

Page 13 for you lovely furs! :) I'll be going to spain next week! (Lucky me,) so I do intend to try and get pages up when they're supposed to, but forgive me if there isn't an update!

Thanks for your support :D

http://comics.thefurryforum.com/xleena/
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on July 17, 2009, 01:39:43 PM: The blood just seems a bit too....jelly-like for me.

but still awsome
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on July 17, 2009, 03:02:39 PM: Yeah, I know what you mean actually, i'll need to work on that :)
(Constructive criticism = win :3)
Cheers Chrono, thanks for your constant support :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on July 17, 2009, 05:19:43 PM: I can tell your stuff is getting better with the new program you got. ^_^
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on July 17, 2009, 07:14:17 PM: Thank you WZ :3
I've spent all day on page 14 (because i'm going away and I don't want to not update)
and i'll tell you what it looks really good now I know what i'm doing, I can't help but feel you'll all be impressed!

My previous pages will eventually be done with the same program so it doesn't look so unprofessional.
All I can say is that its on the up! ;)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on July 17, 2009, 09:35:23 PM: If I were you I'd keep your previous pages the way they are. Makes it more interesting down the road to see how far you've come. :P
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on July 17, 2009, 09:39:26 PM: You think so? Hmm.. that does sound nice (and a lot less work to hehe)
Besides, that means I can spend more time getting on with future pages!
So many plus points :3
I guess i'll just have to see how popular this comic gets really, but until then I think i'll stick to your suggestion WZ :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on July 17, 2009, 09:44:20 PM: Exactly. ^_^ More future pages, less work.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Aqua Wolf on July 19, 2009, 05:43:49 PM: Yay more awesome comics from Xleena! lol Seriously though your comics are the best well at least the storyline is, but just keep up the good work and I'm sure even the drawing will be the best. Im not saying they're not good its cause they are awesome!
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Aqua Wolf on July 19, 2009, 05:44:35 PM: Yay more awesome comics from Xleena! lol Seriously though your comics are the best well at least the storyline is, but just keep up the good work and I'm sure even the drawing will be the best. Im not saying they're not good its cause they are awesome!
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on July 20, 2009, 07:09:51 PM: Hehe thank you very much Aqua Wolf...!
Its people like you that make me want to continue with my comic, and to the best of my abilities as I can! Hopefully my next page will be the best one yet!

Just to remind you all that I'm going to Spain tomorrow, so this friday I will definitely have an update for you all! The friday after that i'm not so sure, due to the fact i'm coming back on the thursday and will undoubtedly be jet lagged and tired, but I will try my best!

The comic itself is starting to get a little darker, but at the same time more exciting (particularly for me to draw!) I hope you're all enjoying the way the comic is going! :3

Its also getting to the end of the chapter, and the next one will be introducing tons of more characters! (Yays!)

Sorry for the massive essay :)
Thank you everyone for your constant support and reading of the comic! ;)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on July 24, 2009, 05:29:15 PM: Latest update is now online. Got to love automation. :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on July 30, 2009, 02:18:45 PM: Guess who's backk!!!!!

I'm so exhausted, but I will try my best to finish the page for tomorrow, THE PRESSURE.
So what have people thought so far to the new look? xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on July 30, 2009, 03:01:31 PM: the blood has improved...but the last panel threw me off, because I usually see the dark streak under her eyes, but that wasn't there...its still awsome :3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on July 30, 2009, 07:58:02 PM: Oh yeah, I substiuted it with grey this time show a bit of a lighter mood to her for once. Don't worry, they'll be plenty of dark streaks under eyes in future hahaha xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on August 02, 2009, 12:06:20 PM: UPDATE!!!

I've done page 15, i'm sorry its two days late, I've hardly been on the computer at all, and going to spain didn't help! Â¬_Â¬

Well its up now so [/winge] :P

Thanks for reading! :P xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on August 02, 2009, 02:14:56 PM: New page is now online. >.>
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on August 02, 2009, 02:24:33 PM: Your pages keep getting better and easier to read, Xleena. ;)

One tiny thing though. >.> I think that bit of text at the end of the latest page should have said "If you don't count..." But it's not a big deal. :3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on August 02, 2009, 05:54:19 PM: hmm, thats a good point actually :D i'll remember that for next time!

Hahah I think it gets better because of all the good points I get :)

Maybe I should get an editor... :P
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on August 08, 2009, 12:38:55 PM: UPDATE!!!

Meep. I'VE DONE IT AGAIN!!
I'm so sorry for not updating yesterday, I totally forgot- or more like thought I had actually updated it!
Thats twice in a row, so I've decided to do another page by tomorrow for you all! Yaaay! :D

That one will be the end of chapter-- I think!

Hope you all like it!
http://comics.thefurryforum.com/xleena/

UPDATE!!!

Oy-hoy! I've actually managed to finish page 17! Its up for you guys to have a look at!

Sorry for two one-panel pages, but the reason for it was to demonstrate harsh contrasts in environment and mood.. and I don't think I would have got what id wanted if i'd split them into different panels pages! (I especially find it fun to put massive detail into it! :D)

ITS THE END OF THE CHAPTER TOO! I've been looking forward to doing the next chapter for a while! :)
Thank you for your continued readings! :3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on August 15, 2009, 06:24:09 PM: Chapter 2 is going to be slightly delayed while we set up the new software to run the comic under, the final touches are being put into place and the next update should be by Sunday 23rd!
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on August 23, 2009, 07:48:46 PM: UPDATE!!!

Hey peeps! New page is up! I've even done a chapter cover page too! Check it out! :3

The regular site as always, and Tweak has done a wonderful job updating the website too, so kudos to him muchly! :)

Thanks for reading! xxx

ALSO! I would like to ask anyone if they fancy making a signature for me on the furry forums that will be troubled eyes themed! I will provide a drawing or two to stick on it also! :3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on August 30, 2009, 04:54:42 PM: UPDATE!!!

Oy-hoy! new page is up!

http://comics.thefurryforum.com/xleena/

STILL would like a sig pic, pm me if interested! :3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on August 31, 2009, 04:42:47 AM: I meant to comment on the previous page (the start of chapter 2), the disjointed panel pieces were a little hard to read and understand, concerning both with order you're supposed to look at them and what exactly was in them. (I could get the basic idea of it, but it probably could have been made a little clearer.)

But aside from that, keep going! I want to keep reading. :P
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on August 31, 2009, 04:58:30 PM: I thought the outfits were somewhat...eccentric, but whats that on Amythest's hand, some sleeve flare, or her ability/weapon?
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on August 31, 2009, 05:23:32 PM: WZ- it was a little like this: 1-2-3 Its just close ups of parts of their outfits, just as they're walking to each other!
-4
5
It was just to give the comic a bit more movement, and usually you don't really need an order with things like that, so don't worry too much about it. :D
This may also give me an opportunity to talk about Amethyst's speech. Her speech will be in the black bubbles, and this is to convey her voice to be slightly deep and a bit evil sounding.

Hope that made it a bit clearer :)

Chrono- I know the outfits are rather extravagant, but that was the point - you'll see the point more after they go into a certain club soon. (They're also super fun to draw) I made them really garish too- particularly Amethyst's- to give a sense of irony because you wouldn't catch her dead in something like that normally. And yeah, they are sleeve flares :D I think you might enjoy her power a bit more than that. -wicked grin-

Hope thats better explanation for you folkies- the more you understand the better, and so does everyone else, so cheers :) xx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on September 11, 2009, 09:56:50 PM: I'm sorry guys, but i've decided to take a haitus for a while. Lots of bad things have been going down, and has made me very unmotivated and stressed, so I don't want to be creating half-decent work because thats just not me. I'll inform you all when I'll be back :3 Sorry! xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on September 11, 2009, 10:09:47 PM: Don't worry about it. Hope things settle down soon. *hugs*
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on September 20, 2009, 08:05:09 PM: Thanks Wz :3 -hugs back-,
also...

UPDATE!!

Yes, I am back in business, hope you all missed me (probably not hahah)

http://comics.thefurryforum.com/xleena/

Enjoy! xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on September 20, 2009, 08:07:33 PM: Um, is that stripper black viper, or one of her workers? :?
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on September 20, 2009, 08:09:51 PM: One of the workers! :D
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on September 20, 2009, 10:38:29 PM: Yay, good to have you back. :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on September 22, 2009, 03:07:35 PM: ^.^ Thanks WZ, I'm also really pleased to say that i've have over 9000 views- so i'm really happy! Must be doing something right eh? :D
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on September 27, 2009, 11:05:46 AM: UPDATE!!!

Fun times! Another page for you all! Sorry about so much writing! But it is a novel as much as a comic-- and I like to explain things :D xxxx

http://comic.thefurryforum.com/xleena/

(I really need to start being more friendly and putting a little blog at the bottom hahaha-- I just never have anything to say! ;-;)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: KittKat chunky~ on September 27, 2009, 01:16:16 PM: i had only read one or two pages before... so i just went and ready the whole thing through :3

and your style has got a lot better as youve gone through... ^_^

great stuff ^^
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on September 27, 2009, 05:51:11 PM: Thank you! I'm glad you like it! I'll try my best!
Yay to new readers! :3

xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on October 06, 2009, 03:30:58 PM: Sorry I haven't been on here in a few days, but if you didn't already check, I posted an UPDATE!!!
on Sunday! (Thats my post day for those who didn't know :3)

:3 Gosh collage has been such a drainer, but I hope I can get the next page up on Sunday, If I can't I apologise; its all these 50 mark essays they've suddenly expected me to write for ''practice'' (!!!!) for homework, so its a bit annoying really!
I JUST WANT TO DRAW OKAY?! :P (I should shout that at my teachers hahah)

Thanks for reading!!! :3 xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on October 06, 2009, 10:11:57 PM: I had seen the update before you posted it. :3

I can totally understand the whole "I JUST WANT TO DRAW" thing. I wish I could yell at my teachers too sometimes. XD

I feel I should make one suggestion though, that I've noticed as I've been following the comic. I would recommend trying to work on drawing backgrounds more in your pages. There are backgrounds every once in a while, but it seems like most of the pages just have abstract backgrounds that don't have much purpose. I know backgrounds can be a huge pain to deal with, and abstract backgrounds can be used sometimes, but I feel like it might really help in immersing the reader in your story since they'll have a better idea of "where they are", you know? Unless you're purposely trying to be abstract, which some people do that in order to make a point. I'm just trying to help. :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on October 07, 2009, 06:38:58 PM: Oooh you're totally right- its just my confidence in background drawing is just so bad.. I needs to work on it! :D
I do however enjoy doing abstract backgrounds because I think it emphasises the mood (but I think I only do it because I am in desperate need to draw other things!!! :D)
hahhaahha, i'll work on it, however, so that as you pointed out; my fans need to be more immersed!
Good idea, I didn't even realise I was doing it! :D:D

xxxxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on October 18, 2009, 01:57:33 AM: Latest comic is now online, I had some connectivity issues.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on October 26, 2009, 08:00:47 PM: Auuugh, sorry for the no update this week-- I have a bit of a hangover and I think its due to the amount of parties i've been to this week! I'm sorry! 18th birthdays and all that! :D If you want the full reason i explained it under my last page in the bloggy bit on the site.
If I have time I might put a nice drawing up this week on my comic to compensate, as well as a page for next sunday (I haven't even started so its an ambitious goal indeed!!!)

Thanks for the support and continued readings people! :3 xxxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on October 26, 2009, 09:12:43 PM: My only issue with your latest comic was with the dailogue bubbles, I really couldn't tell if it was Ms. Viper talking since some of the speech sounded like it came from Sapphire or Amythyst. But I like how the background dancers look like oversized chibis :P
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on October 27, 2009, 05:21:29 PM: Hehehe-- I was hoping people would notice them!

Pretty much anything in white text or a black speech bubble is ammy's.
The sharper looking circles are sapphires and the other's belong to viper.
Hopefully when you know the characters more you'll understand the way they speak-- but i'll try to make it more clearedr next time :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on October 27, 2009, 10:10:34 PM: Quote
but i'll try to make it more clearedr next time
Yeah it definitely needs to be clearedr... much more clearedr
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on October 27, 2009, 10:50:26 PM: Hahaha I understand how ironic that grammar fail is! Leave me be!! :P xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on October 30, 2009, 07:39:33 PM: Just so you all know-- i'm updating saturday with a filler sketch and sunday with a page!!
I'm telling you this now because i'm staying over at my boyfriends tomorrow- so probably won't be on here this weekend!

Thanks for reading! Have a nice weekend! xxxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on November 08, 2009, 08:52:53 PM: UPDATE!!!

Sorry for the late upload today, but I honestly finished it last night! :D

I've seriously been punished the past few weeks in terms for work, I was surprised I even got this done!! :D

May I ask do people read my blog underneath the page? :D xxxx

Thanks for reading! :) xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on November 08, 2009, 08:58:17 PM: I read it. I like hearing your creative thoughts.

also, still cant tell who's saying what when. 3 characters, 2 types of word balloon
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on November 08, 2009, 09:06:19 PM: If you look really closely, you can see sapphires is more circular and precise, and vipers has round squared corners, with ever so slightly wavy lines.

Tell you what, next page i'll change Viper's speech bubble? :)

Thank you for reading it Asia haha

I really love the feedback I get, its a bit sad really. :P
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on November 08, 2009, 09:07:48 PM: either way, good comic, i like that things are rolling along well
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on November 08, 2009, 09:34:39 PM: About the speech bubbles:

I can see what Asia means, and I kind of agree. Perhaps it's because it wasn't very well established whose speech bubbles were whose to begin with, it's hard a bit hard to follow. If it was made crystal clear whose were whose, readers could understand, but it may detract from the story if they have to go through a few or even several pages before they can "get it". It might help to start using bubbles with "tails" when possible, instead of just the closed circles. You know, like this, to point to which character the text belongs to:

(http://school.discoveryeducation.com/clipart/images/speech-bubble-girl1.gif)

(I didn't draw that, just googled it.) As always, it's up to you whether or not you want to change the way you do anything. I'm just here to offer suggestions. :P

Oh, and I do read the blog as well, when I notice it's changed. Sometimes I forget to look at it since I think it's still an old post or something. But I usually do. It's always fun to read what the artist's been doing/thinking as the comic goes along.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on November 15, 2009, 03:43:30 PM: UPDATE!!!

A guest page is for you sweet readers this week! :) xxxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on November 15, 2009, 04:09:52 PM: Aw, it's cute. ^_^
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on November 15, 2009, 06:31:57 PM: look at you getting all famous with fanart and everything.
either way, cool fun with fun expressions.

you want criticisms, I got one. The shading is a bit heavy handed. Makes things look like plastecine.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on November 24, 2009, 07:51:13 PM: No update this week, because I fail.
My computer hasn't worked for at least 4 days and I did half the page for this week but didn't like it! so hopefully, i'll be able to finish it for this week!
Its the end of chapter page, so its bound to be exciting! (maybe?)

hope you're not too dissapointed ('eh? didn't even realise') :D xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on November 29, 2009, 07:19:59 PM: New page is now up!

Definitely not to be missed!
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on November 29, 2009, 09:44:12 PM: Yayy, violence! lol :P

Getting pretty interesting. The only thing I feel like I should mention is that personally I'd be interested in seeing more characters where both of their eyes are shown. Almost all of the characters have half their faces hidden behind their hair, and it kind of makes me feel like it detracts from some of the emotion, makes them feel less human and less relatable. Maybe you're doing that on purpose because that has something to do with their personalities, and if so, of course that's fine. Not trying to tell you how to design your characters or anything. Eyes can express a wide variety of things though, sometimes even replacing the need for words, so it might just be helpful to play around with it. Even if you have a character whose hair falls over their eyes, it can always be blown out of their face for a panel or two by the wind or something. It could be fun to experiment. :)

And one thing I really like about the latest page is that the lines of your drawings seem to have gotten a lot cleaner. Makes it all look a lot more crisp and clear. Looking forward to more updates. ^_^
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on November 30, 2009, 09:50:57 PM: Thanks for pointing that out Zeph, thats just what I was wanting you to think!
The first thing I ever learnt to draw properly was an eye- and I know what you mean by how powerful they can be-- check my story name, and you know i'm being naughty with it haha!

The chapters after these two will certainly bring personalities out, and i'll find you'll like them/hate them more hopefully.
Sapphire and Amethyst are to have their eyes covered indefinately-- but i wont reveal why (I did for sapphire afew pages back [I was a bit cheeky with it!], but that pair of eyes will be explained later).
For Ao his eye was covered up as to not give him much attention in the first chapter (he has normal eyes haha)
And for Miss Viper it was to take the emotion away. But you'll see her emotion soar in the next part of that!

BUT I'M TELLING TOO MUCH! No more for you! :D

Thank you for my sharper lines, I said I'd sort em out and I did; I was far more minute with detail this time, and its paid off a lot!!

I'll let you in on a little hint! Its back to Josaline and Ao in this chapter!

Always great to having you comment, you give me plenty to rant about Zeph. :) xxxx
(P.S. The graphical violence is dedicated to your honour as you enjoy it so! haha)

Also, I only finished the page last night and had to get the page up to not dissapoint y'all, so I still need to edit some of it (for example those STUPID PAGE 1 FOOTERS....!
I also need to put a watermark and 'end of chapter on'... I guess I just wanted everyone to see it! :D xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on November 30, 2009, 10:02:21 PM: what the... well i certainly didnt expect that.

also, it's proper cool that you got some kind of eye/emotion idea going on. Most of the time, I dont put that much message into something visual.

I like the background, and the idea of the explosive entrance, though i think a plain block blue does work. Needs something more gritty, greyer to give the orange that much more RRRRAAARRR!

Either way.... interesting and unexpected. two things i like in life.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on November 30, 2009, 10:03:52 PM: the suddent abruptness was nice, but can I suggest you put more emotion into their facial features, like changing that smirk on viper into an open mouth thats curved downwards?

just a thought since I thought her reaction felt off from her dialogue :P
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on November 30, 2009, 10:09:56 PM: I thought about doing that, but I decided against it. Even though she's worried you see, she's trying not to show it-- its not a smirk, but its her mouth moving akwardly, kinda like when I cry, I have a stupid grin on my face! :P
But when she confronts the mysterious person in the next chapter, it'll be pretty impossible to hide her feelings from her face.
My attentions may seem odd, but it'll all come together, I prmise you that! :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on December 04, 2009, 06:00:04 PM: Hey peeps, I regret to announce I may not be able to post this week!

I've been rather busy doing an acting role in terms of my Law A-Level, where I have to act as a defendant for a case where I am an accused drug dealer! (I get to dress up and everything hahaha).
I have to go to a crown court with some other students (who are playing as barristers, ushers etc) and competing against other schools.
Basically, I have to get up at 6:30am tomorrow ON A SATURDAY and I won't be back in my city until about 6, and then i'll be staying at my boyfriend's because its easier! So I doubt i'll have time to do a page; for that I apologise, but I'll TRY TRY TRY to get one up mid week!

I assure you i'd rather do a page than get up that early by a billion per cent, but duties are duties 'm afraid!

Have a nice weekend! xxxxxxxxxxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on December 04, 2009, 08:04:19 PM: No worries. We'll still be here. :P
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on December 08, 2009, 07:54:41 PM: As Xleena doesn't seem to have said anything, the chapter 3 cover is now up!
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on December 08, 2009, 08:04:03 PM: ooooh interesting, I like the eye... the new one.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on December 13, 2009, 04:11:32 AM: First page of Chapter 3 is now online, I didn't forget to post it.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on December 13, 2009, 05:03:02 AM: I only have one thing to say... KYA-HA-HAAAAAAA
Good setup
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on December 16, 2009, 09:24:16 PM: :D I like to be a fiend for set ups!

How are you all finding it so far?

May I also say thanks to Tweak for doing such a brilliant job with my site!

xxxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on December 16, 2009, 11:02:14 PM: I think you've got great ideas, I just find it hard to follow what's going on. Things keep moving and there's not much to grab onto.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on December 17, 2009, 10:36:55 AM: Quote from: AsiaBunny on December 16, 2009, 11:02:14 PM
I just find it hard to follow what's going on.

That's what I like about it!
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on December 17, 2009, 08:11:47 PM: Hehe, hopefully it'll all come together!
But what are you finding hard to grab onto and maybe I can help? :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on December 18, 2009, 08:50:36 AM: I dont know who the characters are, I dont know what anyone actually does aside from running strip clubs or doing assignments for some organisation. I dont know what the organisation is aiming for (some kind of policing force i'm guessing).

Things just kinda happen with no explanation as to why or where or in any sort of context other than Cops 'n' robbers.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on December 19, 2009, 02:39:24 PM: Yeah I know, I kinda forget this isn't a book of manga being published a few chapters at a time really, and because its one page a week I can understand why you're like WHAT IS GOING ON?
I suppose I just want to introduce people first before getting into it all, so I apologise-- the first few chapters might be a bit slow on the uptake of depth!
Hopefully I can keep it entertaining until then? xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on December 19, 2009, 02:48:08 PM: I actually skimmed through the whole thing again so that I wasnt just forgetting stuff, and I was still kinda lost. Things just happen with no explanation as to why.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on December 19, 2009, 02:55:44 PM: Give me the examples of why you feel lost, and I may explain they'll be explained a bit later, or i'll explain them for you now. :)
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Chrono Blackwyng on December 19, 2009, 03:10:47 PM: As to how they have their powers, as to how the girl with the katana appeared... and how did the two rank IV officers got those outfits?

:3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on December 19, 2009, 03:33:59 PM: First two will be explained in the story. The next chapter youll see why the crazy katana girl appeared, but the powers gaining you might have to hold off from knowing for a bit!

Sapphire made her outfit herself, because she oves dressing up (she got the fish net under-dress from a lolita/goth shop and I think Amethyst got hers off ebay; she typed in 'stupid nightclub outfits' (she has no tolerance for Sapphire's requirements!).

Is that okay? :3

Also in this chapter i'm doing, Ao's and Josaline's work and reasons for being there will be told too :3
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on December 19, 2009, 09:04:09 PM: It's not stuff like that that's confusing. It's things like, what company is this? what do they do? what is their interest in terrorist actions? I dont know their relation to any governmental organisation. why were they tracking a strip club owner? why does such a high ranking member as Amethyst not know about such massive details about the case she's on? Why are they dressed like that when they just walk up to the owner who instantly knows that they're from that organisation? I thought they were supposed to be undercover.
I dont know why some strip club owner has the money or influence to be anywhere near capable to fund a nuclear terrorist threat. If she actually isnt the funding party and it's all a trick, what makes the real culprit think that some random strip club owner would be a sensible choice to pin this on?

What is the history of Ao or Josaline, what's ao's rank? what has josaline been doing before joining this non-descript company? If Ao knew working there was so dangerous, why is Josaline going too? What's her job, are all the employees agents? how is this organisation set up? what's the heirarchy?

There just doesnt seem to be a structure behind the words.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on December 19, 2009, 10:05:32 PM: Admittedly at the moment I can't help but take that with a sting, it makes me feel like i'm doing nothing right.

In this chapter, and others; the company will be explained, allow me some time (but hey, I shouldn't be saying this right?)

If you noticed on the first chapter, he has his rank band on (they tend to be lazy with their rank bands, and only really wear them if they're going into the building to show their status to the receptionist and to log them in, or if they're aware a rank III or over is coming to visit.
The ranks go like this:
Rank I 3rd, Rank I 2nd, Rank I *
Rank II 2nd, Rank II*
Rank III 2nd, Rank III*
Rank IV
...maybe others.
Ao is a Rank I 2nd and Josaline is a Rank I 3rd; they're not considered agents as such until they're 2nd rank, but I cant say more than that unless you'd prefer me to tell you the entire story before i've drawn it.

Same goes with the whole night club thing, the majority of it will be explained in the next chapter, the undercover was to not gain any suspicion from the crowd in the nightclub, or the dancers (the organisation is not well known for its terrorist policing, or anything of that calibre.)
Viper knows them on viewing because she's been visited by the corp's rank III officers, and as she practically owns over half the city in one way or another, she's bound to have heard rumours of the IV ranks. I'll explain this in more detail in the story also; but like I said I can't go on about it or I might as well give up the whole plot.

Thanks for pointing it out anyway Asia,

I've decided to take a break for a week or two, and reconsider if I have the time or passion to do this anymore.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on December 19, 2009, 11:27:51 PM: sorry for pointing out these things, since all i was saying was all negative. I do think you have the right head for writing and the mistakes you make are mistakes I've seen a million times before and that I've done plenty of times. Even professionals do these types of things (look at plenty of CSI episodes, or particularly Merlin.) I think you just need to make things more concrete in your own head. You've got all these big ideas, but everything around it is very loose. Think about what these people do in their spare time, think about all the different employees this company would employ, including the cleaners, think about whether these people like cheese. You focus so much on dynamic personalities and high drama, that everything else kinda blurs out in the background. I just think things need to be more solid.

Plus, this is just my opinion, Tweak obviously doesnt see these problems, and as is with almost all stories, 80% of people will find a problem with it. If everyone stopped writing because one random person saw some problems then there would never be any stories written. It's hard to deal with that much criticism but that's just the way it is. You gotta trust that you're imagination is good enough. Personally I've always enjoyed the ideas you've had.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on December 20, 2009, 09:22:43 AM: Urgh.

Who wants to know the answer to everything right at the start? These questions and the fact we don't know as much makes me want to read it so much more. I have limited time and won't read anything regularly unless I find it entertaining and it catches hold of me, Troubled Eyes has done this, not much does.

The questions which arise from it makes it so you have to continue reading, the story is perfectly concrete in her mind, I've discussed it with her and everything that is happening through the comic, every single question Xleena has planned out to make it that way, this isn't a flimsy amateur story.

The issue with all the criticism is the constant bombarding with it, yes, nobody is perfect and a hole can be picked in anything but you needn't state every issue you have with it, it's not a professional release, it's done for fun. People just need to think when they criticise, sometimes it isn't want to be heard constantly, belittling every little issue is undermining and for those of us who get very little recognition for our hard work find it very difficult to find the point.

Personally, Xleena, if you stop working on it, I will have no choice but to come visit you and poke you until you carry on. Keep it up, even with problems, over time they will clear up anyway.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on December 24, 2009, 05:46:38 PM: Quote from: Tweak on December 20, 2009, 09:22:43 AM
The issue with all the criticism is the constant bombarding with it, yes, nobody is perfect and a hole can be picked in anything but you needn't state every issue you have with it, it's not a professional release, it's done for fun. People just need to think when they criticise, sometimes it isn't want to be heard constantly, belittling every little issue is undermining and for those of us who get very little recognition for our hard work find it very difficult to find the point.

^ This.

There will always be room for improvement in anything anyone does, and it's not bad to give suggestions now and then about how to improve, but give her a break.

Don't give up on your story, Xleena. I still look forward to seeing the new pages.
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on January 12, 2010, 06:50:29 PM: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN....!

Guess whos back!

UPDATE!!!
What Josaline and Ao do is a bit more explained in this chapter I do believe! (Well I was gonna do that anyways, but I thought of a few more ideas whilst on my break!)

Us artists always need a refresh ey? xxx
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on January 12, 2010, 08:20:02 PM: Yay, I do enjoy your comic
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Tweak on February 15, 2010, 09:18:38 PM: The update mentioned above has now been uploaded, unfortunately Xleena has not been able to get it to me before now. Enjoy!
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: WingedZephyr on February 15, 2010, 11:58:36 PM: Moar updates!

*pokes Xleena*
Title: Re: I've started a comic
Post by: Xleena on February 16, 2010, 07:38:34 PM: Nyaaah! I'll try; the past months been a bit hectic for me! :D xxx