The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Crass1905 on March 10, 2009, 03:42:38 PM
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Ah yes, the rants and advice section, home to well rants and advice.
Well I have a rant, and I could use some advice, so here it goes.
I have been shelved, so to speak, by my boyfriend because of... a dog.
Yes thats right, this past Friday while I was at my boyfriends house he adopted a dog. But not just any dog, a 5 year old mutt with no prior training, which is not house broken or very obedient. He hopes to train this dog, and make him a companion. Well I want to make that dog into a carpet. My boyfriend ignored me for the entire weekend, as he tried in vain to train this mongrel. I sat on there couch from sun up to sun down, and was dragged on outings for the dog. Such as multiple trips to petco in which I sat in the car with the dog, and to take him out walking, in which I watched my boyfriend get dragged around. The only time I got to spend with him was in the car and sleeping. But it doesn't end there, now he is not online because he needs to watch this mutt, nore can we see each other as often. Instead of spending 3 days a week together, we are down to one, if we are lucky. He needs to stay home and watch his dog, while I need to stay home and babysit a 10 yearold x_x. Even still he blew off most of my birthday plans this weekend, and will only come up Sunday evening simply for my family get together then leave, that evening.
I am furious! I feel as though I'm competing with a dog for my boyfriend and I am fed up with it already. Its not going to get better from here, that dog will not be able to be trained its too old for most of its training and he is far to soft with it. It runs him, he doesn't run it. I don't know what to do, so advise me please.
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well, if you haven't tried it already, you should probably talk to him about how you feel like you've been practically replaced by the dog.
and explain what you don't like about the situation.
he should be understanding if he knows everything and you should be able to work things out.
and I have to say, I'm going to career school to get a certificate in dog training and from my studies I can tell you that no dog is too old to learn things.
he might want to take his dog to a basic obedience class (if he has the money for it, but it's not usually expensive I don't think) or at least get some advice from a professional dog trainer.
but this is all just my advice and opinion.
you don't have to take it.
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First off, the fact that he;s trying to train it and ignore you doesn't seem very.... loyal. Have you tried to talk with him? If you have, maybe it's time to try and put yourself between the dog and him. For example;
give teaching the 'mutt' a few tricks with treats and helping your boyfriend out instead of sitting there (interacting with the dog will show him you care but also that you still want to spend time with him)
tell your boyfriend why you feel the way you do and see if he'll slow down a little (if the mutt's not listening, maybe a bit of help from someone who knows what they're doing will do good)
or
treat him the same way he's treating you (only if the first two don't work)
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The impractical and likely impossible solution... call the Dog Whisperer!
The practical solution has already been listed by my two fellows here, so I daresay repeating it won't help you much will it? Really though, if it looks impossible that he will care for you more (not generally impossible, but it may actually be), dump him and don't regret. You're your own person and you can make the choice of who you love, and if he loves the dog more, then he is making the sacrifice of losing yours. And if he doesn't care about that... screw him! So harsh, Scheer, and I wish that weren't the way. Oh, and as I said... that's unlikely the case. Try what the other two said: highly preferable.
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Believe me, Scheer, I know exactly how that situation feels, and it is nowhere close to fun.
First of all, the most important and necessary things to do, is to be as patient as you possibly can, and make sure you talk to him. It's likely he may not understand, simply because this dog is obviously something he really feels he needs, and you need to be able to recognize that. That doesn't mean it makes it any easier for you, and it doesn't excuse him for ignoring you, but if you love your mate, it helps to be supportive of what he wants - especially if it's important to him. It's unlikely that he loves (or likes) you any less because he got the dog either, even though he obviously may not be showing it very well.
I would definitely talk to him about maybe putting the dog through obedience training, if possible. You two could also try to work out ways to see each other more often, such as letting another friend watch the dog for a while some days or something. Perhaps you could offer to put more time into helping him care for the dog, in a way that you'd both be working on something together, rather than you just following behind.
This dog is also very new to his house, obviously, and animals do often take a little time to adjust to new places. The dog may be better in a relatively short period of time. So, again, it is very important to be patient to see if things continue on this way or if they revert back to the way they were.
And, in the end, you two may just have to agree to disagree. It happens sometimes. It's hardly a good idea to break up just because things get a little rough, unless it's something that you're positive you can't get through. Sometimes life just gets in the way. It happens. My mate and I only get to see each other once every 2-4 weeks during the school year, and it gets incredibly tough after spending nearly every other day with each other during the summer, but we still manage to persevere. It is possible, if that's what you want. Relationships aren't just filled to the brim with roses and candy and happiness.
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I see, well thank you folks. This advice has been most helpfull. I really appreciate it.
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Good luck. I hope you can get it worked out.