The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => General => Forum Games => Topic started by: Scyler on October 15, 2008, 01:29:11 AM
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Please don't post any that might be offensive. On one per post, don't take all of the good ones in one post.
I'll start us off...
Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a loaded revolver and won.
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OMFG you actually did it >.<
Jesus may walk on water, but chuck norris swims through land!
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OMFG!!! THATS MY BROTHER'S JOKE!!! HE thought that one up!!!
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because the only element he recognizes is the element of surprise!
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Chuck norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he never cries (yeah, old i know)
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Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky!
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Under chuck norris's beard there isn't a chin, it's another fist!
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If you shave Chuck Norris's beard, you will find a tattoo of an identical beard underneath.
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Neo wears super man underware, Super man wears chuck norris underware
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The phrase "break a leg" was originally coined by the cast of Walker: Texas Ranger, hoping that would be the extent of their injuries.
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chuck norris isn't bullet proof, bullets just arn't chuck norris proof.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits. o.o
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Black holes arn't created by exploding stars, they are made by chuck norris round-house kicking the universe
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Thete has been endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well, it exists, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious!
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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One day, Chuck Norris was practicing his roundhouse kicks. Hevehrew one so hard that he flew back in time and kicked Amelia Aerheart out of the sky ad she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
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Chuck Norris can type so fast that he types at lightspeed
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Kryptonite is said to hold large amounts of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it's so deadly to Superman.
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there is no suh thing as evolution, nst a list of animals chuck norris allows to live..
(i guess he just doesn't like anthros or dinosaurs)
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^ that was funny
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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If you ask Chuck Norris the time, he will always say, "Two seconds til." When you ask "Two seconds til what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
(scyler, check your e-mail)
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The CN in CN Tower stands for Chuck Norris, it is supposed to stand for his greatness but it isn't great enough! :peace:
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Chick Norris?
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris one took an entire bottle of sleeping pills. It made him blink.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits. O.O
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ROFL.
I love this.
OMG, My hero.
xD
Chuck Norris is sueing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris once build a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot he met all three bullets with his beard, shreding each one like a cheese grater as they went through his beard. JFK's head exploded out of sheer asmazement.
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Chuck Norris once found a site with Chuck Norris jokes on it. He deleted the Internet.
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chuck norris' chief export is pain
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Chuck Norris. Period.
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chuck norris drinks napalm to quench his thirst
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According to Einstein's theory of Relativity, Chuck Norris can kick you yesterday.
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chuck norris dosen't use spell check, if he mispells a word, oxford will change the spelling of the word
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Chuckles Norris.
*dies by Mr. Norris' telekinesis*
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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Chuck Norris had a paper route when he was younger; there were no survivors.
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under chuck norris's beard is an identical tatoo of the orginal beard
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Chuck Norris had a goat when he was younger. The goat always tried kicking him.
Remember how I said he HAD a goat?
I totally just made that up. Seriously.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song
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A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
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there is no such thing as worm holes, only placesd where CN has round house kicked the universe
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When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
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/\awesome.
Chuc....*dies*
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Did you know, brian peppers used to be model, that was before he recieved
a roundhouse kick from chuck norris.
<please dont hurt me (flinches)>
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A group of spectators watched Chuck Norris leap up and roundhouse kick the top of the Empire State Building. When asked about how he could jump so high, he replied: "I wasn't jumping, the ground was running away from me."
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chuck norris can eat only one potato chip
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chuck norris can eat only one potato chip
^ In a year.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Tom (MySpace) everyday instead of sueing him.
Pretty solid deal.
I gotta look up some actual Chuck Norris jokes. XD
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There is no 'escape' key on keyboards Cuck Norris uses, he never runs away.
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{[Chick Norris?]}
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When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,†and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.â€Â
"dont roundhouse kick me in the muzzle!!" *gets on his knees and begs* >GET UP!< *gets up hopping he doesnt get roundhouse kicked, and lets out an unnoticeable smile* >DONT SMILE IN CHUCK NORRIS'S PRESENCE!< "OH N" *gets roundhouse kicked and goes to the hospital*
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When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norris