The Furry Forums
Creative Arts and Media => Creative Writing => Topic started by: Corran Orreaux on September 05, 2017, 06:51:24 AM
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Note: This is a piece of a story I've been toying with recently, tell me what ya think! Btw, sorry if the text is cluttered, I suck at forums.
3957 BBY
The Jedi Civil war
Before The capture of Revan
Dantooine
Auraden’s POV
“There is no emotion, there is peace.”
I recited the code as I slowly walked the large, rocky plain of dantooine. Something I did often as to get away from the annoyances of training and other jedi.
“There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.”
I’m a cathar, joining the order was the best thing to happen to a weakling like me. Cathar society was very warrior prone, so to a skinny and physically weak non-fighter like me, I was not taken to very well. I’m on track to becoming a knight, the life of a padawan is a tedious one.
“Peace is a lie, there is only passion.”
I nearly jumped at the sudden, raspy voice. Who stood almost parallel to me was a man dressed in the same jedi robes as I.
He bore a black mask made of leather, the outline of his mouth, eyes, and ears was made out clearly. The man seemed to have taken care to cover every inch of skin he could. In his left hand he held a metallic cylinder with nothing seemingly remarkable about it, the most standard lightsaber one could get.
He flicked the weapon to life, a long blue blade appearing where once nothing stood.
“Dark jedi.” I whispered.
I held my right hand straight out in front of me, calling upon the force my saber flew from my belt to my limb and immediately was ignited. I pointed the green weapon at the man, arm outstretched so it stayed about level with my chest.
The man wasted no time in attacking, using the force to augment his speed I barely deflected a blow directed at my face, in turn, the force of his strike causing me to stagger backward. With a grunt, the dark jedi, holding the lightsaber with both hands, slashed at me downwards horizontally.
I flipped backward, gaining some distance. I had little time to rest as a stream of lightning shot towards me, I met his blast by quickly pulling a small boulder in front of me with the force, it takes most of the attack, I still felt the burning pain surge through left leg.
I sent the huge rock flying towards the foe who cut it in two with his saber.
My only chance was to keep him at a distance, at most I could block and badly parry his moves, any sort of elongated clash I could not win.
I needed to use my best card, force stasis. I’ve devoted countless days mastering this advanced technique and as a result causing both my saber fighting, as well as my other force abilities to suffer.
I quickly gathered my strength and with a growl, I stopped the charging man in his tracks, static energy surrounding his body. I pulled small rocks, stones, and pebbles from the earth to levitate around me, as many as I could. I managed to collect around twenty.
I let the stasis shield down the sent him flying into a tree with a strong force push, he dropped his lightsaber. This was my chance, I commanded every piece of earth I had gathered to shoot towards him. He yelped in pain as he was pelted, my move happening so fast that he could not react in time. His forehead and arms were bleeding badly.
Anger took over the dark jedi in full, with a pure animalistic roar he collected his weapon and tossed it at me, I easily dodged it, however, it seemed this is what he wanted as his fist; strength greatly augmented, landed on my chin in a painful uppercut.
I tripped, falling on my back. The man instead of grabbing his own or my lightsaber jumped on top of me,
savagely punching my face and chest. Despite the pain I quickly realized… he let his force shield down.
I couldn't help but let the sides of my lips twisted into a minor smile. I unleashed an admittedly weak force push, but it was enough to get him a decent distance away from me. The dark being charged again, this time remembering to cover himself in a shield. Gathering up most of my strength, I once again froze him in his tracks, his right foot raised slightly off the ground.
Despite my near-exhaustion I commanded both my and his lightsabers to my hands, I jumped, flipping in the air, I landed directly in front of the man.
“You lose,” I shouted.
“Indeed,”
I jumped backward, accidentally dropping the stasis I’ve placed on the man and crashing into him.
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That's actually pretty good - well-detailed and well-written. The kind of work I tend to see in professionals who have been writing stories for a long time.
The kind of writing I tend to see in my own work.
Well done!
--Rom
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That's actually pretty good - well-detailed and well-written. The kind of work I tend to see in professionals who have been writing stories for a long time.
The kind of writing I tend to see in my own work.
Well done!
--Rom
Thanks! I always wanted to write something Star Wars related but was worried I would mess up the lightsaber forums, that always keeping me from trying. Since I'm currently reading through the new jedi order series I thought I would give something a go.