The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Yena the Wolf on December 24, 2015, 06:21:00 PM
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This one sentence. Drives. Me. Insane. "I hate kids." Wow. Hating kids is the worst thing to do, seeing as how they are targeted for bully, r*pe, abuse, and much more. Hating kids. Wow. Just wow. This is not a thing to be said. People that here kids, or worse, their parents, is not right. Some parents and/or kids are awesome. No. This is not something to be taken lightly.
I watched kids get bullied back a year or two sgo, and still do on TV and on YouTube. It hurts me to hear the sentence "I hate kids." You are heartless if you hate kids. Some are not very good/nice/or whatever, but still, heartless people hate kids. Even the cute ones. They are innocent. And then they are abused. Then they are scarred. Poor things.
If you hate kids, don't talk to me. Don't be my friend. I will hate you to the end if you hate kids. Just. No.
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That's very nice of you to say, it definitely shows how good of a heart you have.
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I'm 21 and I decided to get into a relationship with my Fiancee who has two kids. I love kids ^^
IMO, if someone doesn't like kids, then they shouldn't have kids. But running around screaming about how much they hate kids isn't productive.
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Honestly, I think people who talk about how much they hate kids forget what it's like to be a kid. People who don't like kids, shouldn't have kids as Syn said. Honestly, I think it's ridiculous if someone is mean to a child because they don't like kids. Kids are people, too, and unlike adults cannot process things like adults can, so when a kid interacts with you, whether you like them or not, you better grit your feckin teeth and be nice to them because a rotten attitude from an adult or anything of the like is enough to impact people for life.
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I DETEST kids. They are noisy, high pitched, annoying, unpredictable, often argumentative, naive, at times cruel (and they can get away with it), and tend to annoy the living crud out of me. No, this is not some kids, in my experience, this is 99% of them.
No, that does not mean I am a horrible person around them, I get it, they are kids, they don't know better, they are still learning. I get all that. But I still choose to avoid them where I can. If that becomes impossible, I will do the best I can for the kid I will smile and be friendly, I will listen and talk to them. I won't be a complete asshat just because I am around children. I try to be pleasant around them, I just find it hard and stressful.
And your saying that this major discomfort I am happy to admit to feeling, makes me some kind of monster? o.O
TLDR: I hate kids, but that does not mean I am a dick to them.
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Personally, I had no choice but to learn to like kids. I'm the eldest child of four, had to stay at a day-care that I was far beyond the age-group for, had to help out at said day care, helped watch the neighbor kid when I moved to my Grandparents' house, and well, planned to become a parent one day when everything is all settled for me.
I learned to love kids in their carefree nature, even if many had a tendency to be selfish and very cruel indeed. But I revel in the ability to teach them and show them how awesome being nice can be - and how much further it can get them in life, as well. I never imposed my personal morals, but rather, gave them the groundwork so that they could grow up to be better people. I can only speak for my siblings in regards to success, but I've never had a little kid who disliked me (which can be a blessing and a curse in its own right lol). If I had hated kids during that time, I would have been miserable.
Now, you might be wondering... what do I do when someone says they hate kids? It's simple.
"Don't worry, I can imagine why. Kids can easily get annoying."
Because no matter how much you like kids, no matter how many siblings you have... kids are immature, selfish, stubborn and even cruel. It's a matter of education that changes kids for the better. If left to their own devices, no framework or anything, they would follow the path of least resistance. Think Lord of the Flies, to some degree.
People who hate kids are not evil monsters. People who hate kids are not heartless. People who hate kids are not someone to hate. I will attest to this in every regard:
Honestly, I think people who talk about how much they hate kids forget what it's like to be a kid. People who don't like kids, shouldn't have kids as Syn said. Honestly, I think it's ridiculous if someone is mean to a child because they don't like kids. Kids are people, too, and unlike adults cannot process things like adults can, so when a kid interacts with you, whether you like them or not, you better grit your feckin teeth and be nice to them because a rotten attitude from an adult or anything of the like is enough to impact people for life.
What you have to do, Yena, is separate people who do not like children from people who abuse and actively hurt children. They are not the same thing. Because making such a sweeping assumption about anyone who doesn't like kids is rather cruel in itself.
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I have to agree with the above statement about a separation of people who dislike kids and those who do them harm.
I work at a school. I deal with kids for half of the day. And I hate about 80% of them half of the time. Some are ignorant to their behavior, others do it on purpose. *But* I still provide whatever is needed for them. And hell, there's quite a few ones that I enjoy.
But at the end of my work hours, I'm gonna "hate kids" for a few more, just saying.
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Not saying I hate kids but some can get annoying, can be disrespectful, spoiled to the point were I dislike them, However doesn't mean I become some bully but I try to ignore and or avoid them... unless they know how to act I have no problem besides usually children love me for some reason which I have no clue why...
doesn't really matter if people 'hate' kids, it's their opinion. But I think saying hate may be a strong word. Unless they are treating children rudely, physically or mentally harming them... then It understandable to get angry.
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For the record, I don't think people are bad if they dislike children. They can be downright taxing to be around at times, especially for some of the reasons mentioned above; they're loud, some are bratty, they're still learning, etc. I think people are bad if they don't like children and are snotty at said children for being children.
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I dont hate all kids. Just the ones that constantly look at their phones and put on chapstick
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What you have to do, Yena, is separate people who do not like children from people who abuse and actively hurt children. They are not the same thing. Because making such a sweeping assumption about anyone who doesn't like kids is rather cruel in itself.
I was about to say a lot of these things, but you already said it better than I could.
I "hate" kids because they lack the compassion growing up can give. The most cruelty I've seen in people has always been from middle schoolers or younger. That doesn't mean I want to actively hurt them, but I sure do want to avoid them.
0h, also because they're not exactly fun to look at, but that's not too relevant to the topic.
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Kids can be utter creeps and noone ever calls 'em on it. If I had a dime for every time I got one chance to eat out in a week and it was ruined because some snot-nosed five year old was wailing one table away from me because he didn't want to eat his peas and his parents wouldn't do more than shush him, I'd be a really pissed off millionare. Why should I have to choke down my dinner while some little non-contributor curls up his face to look as ugly as he can, turns pink and screams at the top of his lungs? People who haven't got a problem with kids are terribly unsympathetic with this, because they claim to be "just as bothered by the screaming as you are", but really, they're mildly inconvenienced compared to others. Some of us aren't just disgusted by the sound of children screaming, but it causes us pain, and we need to get away from it.
I don't hate kids. I hate a lot of kids. That doesn't make me bad, but it does make me a target of hatred for people who can't stand the thought of their bratty little pukes not getting away with every bit of terrible behaviour and other people not making excuses for them.
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I DETEST kids. They are noisy, high pitched, annoying, unpredictable, often argumentative, naive, at times cruel (and they can get away with it), and tend to annoy the living crud out of me. No, this is not some kids, in my experience, this is 99% of them.
No, that does not mean I am a horrible person around them, I get it, they are kids, they don't know better, they are still learning. I get all that. But I still choose to avoid them where I can. If that becomes impossible, I will do the best I can for the kid I will smile and be friendly, I will listen and talk to them. I won't be a complete asshat just because I am around children. I try to be pleasant around them, I just find it hard and stressful.
And your saying that this major discomfort I am happy to admit to feeling, makes me some kind of monster? o.O
TLDR: I hate kids, but that does not mean I am a dick to them.
No! But I am saying, if you are a total butt to kids just because you hate them, never approach me. Especially if you hate a very shy, kind, good-hearted kid who never did anything to you.
Post Merge: December 28, 2015, 06:27:09 PM
Kids can be utter creeps and noone ever calls 'em on it. If I had a dime for every time I got one chance to eat out in a week and it was ruined because some snot-nosed five year old was wailing one table away from me because he didn't want to eat his peas and his parents wouldn't do more than shush him, I'd be a really pissed off millionare. Why should I have to choke down my dinner while some little non-contributor curls up his face to look as ugly as he can, turns pink and screams at the top of his lungs? People who haven't got a problem with kids are terribly unsympathetic with this, because they claim to be "just as bothered by the screaming as you are", but really, they're mildly inconvenienced compared to others. Some of us aren't just disgusted by the sound of children screaming, but it causes us pain, and we need to get away from it.
I don't hate kids. I hate a lot of kids. That doesn't make me bad, but it does make me a target of hatred for people who can't stand the thought of their bratty little pukes not getting away with every bit of terrible behaviour and other people not making excuses for them.
Yea, I saw and or heard kids throwing fits in the store all the time, as well. It is really annoying. But some kids aren't bad. Others just make me super ticked. The mothers apparently don't care about their kids if they aren't gonna do crap but shush them. Jeez, at least give the brat a punishment!
Post Merge: December 28, 2015, 06:34:37 PM
Personally, I had no choice but to learn to like kids. I'm the eldest child of four, had to stay at a day-care that I was far beyond the age-group for, had to help out at said day care, helped watch the neighbor kid when I moved to my Grandparents' house, and well, planned to become a parent one day when everything is all settled for me.
I learned to love kids in their carefree nature, even if many had a tendency to be selfish and very cruel indeed. But I revel in the ability to teach them and show them how awesome being nice can be - and how much further it can get them in life, as well. I never imposed my personal morals, but rather, gave them the groundwork so that they could grow up to be better people. I can only speak for my siblings in regards to success, but I've never had a little kid who disliked me (which can be a blessing and a curse in its own right lol). If I had hated kids during that time, I would have been miserable.
Now, you might be wondering... what do I do when someone says they hate kids? It's simple.
"Don't worry, I can imagine why. Kids can easily get annoying."
Because no matter how much you like kids, no matter how many siblings you have... kids are immature, selfish, stubborn and even cruel. It's a matter of education that changes kids for the better. If left to their own devices, no framework or anything, they would follow the path of least resistance. Think Lord of the Flies, to some degree.
People who hate kids are not evil monsters. People who hate kids are not heartless. People who hate kids are not someone to hate. I will attest to this in every regard:
Honestly, I think people who talk about how much they hate kids forget what it's like to be a kid. People who don't like kids, shouldn't have kids as Syn said. Honestly, I think it's ridiculous if someone is mean to a child because they don't like kids. Kids are people, too, and unlike adults cannot process things like adults can, so when a kid interacts with you, whether you like them or not, you better grit your feckin teeth and be nice to them because a rotten attitude from an adult or anything of the like is enough to impact people for life.
What you have to do, Yena, is separate people who do not like children from people who abuse and actively hurt children. They are not the same thing. Because making such a sweeping assumption about anyone who doesn't like kids is rather cruel in itself.
Yeah, I know, and sometimes my sister can be very cruel and stubborn, which makes me very exasperated, but if you like hurting kids, that's wrong. That's why I say, if you hate kids don't approach me. If you like abusing kids, you will feel the wrath of me.
Post Merge: December 28, 2015, 06:36:19 PM
That's very nice of you to say, it definitely shows how good of a heart you have.
Aww, really? That's sweet of you to say...! Even though kids are annoying sometimes, they shouldn't be hurt mentally, or physically.
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I get amazingly annoyed by children, so much so that they oftentimes give me a headache. Oh, isn't it so cute how little Johnny crapped his pants one person ahead of you in the grocery check-out line and is wailing so loudly that you can feel your sternum vibrating?
Cats don't do these things. I like cats.
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I agree that kids can be very annoying. Although, I rarely blame the kids until a certain age because they only have their parents to learn from. I don't completely agree with the tabula rasa (blank slate) philosophy because our genetics does play a part in our temperament and so forth, but all of that can still be tempered by learning the proper way to behave. If a child is behaving in an improper manner, then it is the caregiver's responsibility to teach them that what they are doing is wrong and to show them the proper way to act. In that way, I hate parents/caregivers more than the children on most occasions.
In saying caregivers, I mean those that aren't parents but still can provide direction and support. I would consider teachers an exception because even though they can provide good examples and can talk about the proper way to act, they are still limited by their school system and the whiny parents that say, "You don't get to parent my child." It does take a village to raise a child and any parent that doesn't realize that and allow other to help, then they are only hurting themselves and their children.
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I'm in the "I hate being around kids, but I would never be a dick to them" boat. I pretty much plan on never having kids because I don't feel comfortable around them at all, plus I'm pretty sure I'm too selfish to want to raise a kid.
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Honestly, I have nothing against kids so long they are well behaved. However, after had a job in an environment filled with a lot of families and younger children I must say that I'm always completely baffled to see how poorly some parents raise their kids - to the point where you start wondering why some people even got kids if they're just gonna leave them at a playground area first thing they do and completely ignore them when the kid screams across a room filled with customers for their parents to come and look at them.
Not all kids are bad, no. I don't hate them either. I don't have any myself and don't really have any plans to get myself some either in any foreseeable future, but some of my friends as well as friends of my family has some adorable and extremely nice well-disciplined children. It's just that there's a lot of parents out there, to my experience, that are doing a bad job at raising their children properly (seriously, parents, your phone is NOT supposed to me more important that your child!) and thus I'd say is why so many kids these days seem to end up behaving so poorly.
A lot of bullies tend to be kids too, I was mildly bullied in my youth by kids that were only a year or two older than me, so I see your point. Again though, not all kids are angels, unfortunately.
I find that these bullies are often the product of bad parenting, the ones with really good parents either being around the wrong people or simply failing to realize that they are actually bullying someone they though they were just playing with (i.e. going too far, many times caused by one or another form of mental disorder).
I do try to avoid kids I don't know. Not because I hate them but rather because I, less and less, trust the parenting skills of any strangers by default.
Thus, for most bad-behaved children; I blame the parents, not the kids.
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Ya know, seeing a few people say they more so blame/hate the parents of the kids than yhr kids themselves, I have to say this;
Some times, the parents *are* trying. Sometimes the kid is just so far gone that it doesn't matter what the parents do. I have seen kids that literally have no problem getting punished to the extreme because in their head, it won't stop them from being bad.
Yeah, it may not always be the kids fault, but how many of those kids have parents that did/do actually try to make y hem better? You gotta think about that too.
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Ya know, seeing a few people say they more so blame/hate the parents of the kids than yhr kids themselves, I have to say this;
Some times, the parents *are* trying. Sometimes the kid is just so far gone that it doesn't matter what the parents do. I have seen kids that literally have no problem getting punished to the extreme because in their head, it won't stop them from being bad.
Yeah, it may not always be the kids fault, but how many of those kids have parents that did/do actually try to make y hem better? You gotta think about that too.
I have worked in an adolescent group home so I do see where some kids are just mean. One that I worked with would laugh and then for the next hour or two talk about how it would be funny if this bad thing happened to me or another staff member. No amount of coaching, redirecting, reminding then that they weren't going to earn their points, etc. Would deter this kid from saying mean things.
I still believe that parents have a lot to do with what they teach their children and therefore how their children behave. However, there are some outliers that make you think "I hate kids" and that no amount of teaching will change who they are.
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I volunteer to tutor kids four days a week, and I find that they're usually respectful and try their best. Some kids can be jerks, but doesn't the same go for people in general? :|
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Ya know, seeing a few people say they more so blame/hate the parents of the kids than yhr kids themselves, I have to say this;
Some times, the parents *are* trying. Sometimes the kid is just so far gone that it doesn't matter what the parents do. I have seen kids that literally have no problem getting punished to the extreme because in their head, it won't stop them from being bad.
Yeah, it may not always be the kids fault, but how many of those kids have parents that did/do actually try to make y hem better? You gotta think about that too.
Of course, but that's why I said that only most (not all) of a child's behavior can be attributed to the way they were raised. Some children are just bound to be troublemakers. And also I believe not all children respond the same to various methods of being raised.
However, also consider the fact that the parents/caretakers are literally the only influence that the child will have for their first few years - these are also the most important years as it lays the ground for the most basic behavior!
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I do consider it, believe me I live with a father of a now three year old and mother of a two year old. But it's also no hard for them to get influenced later down the road as well.
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I can't say that I hate kids, but I'd rather not be around them when possible. The majority of them are loud, messy, and irritating, which is something that I cannot personally deal with. Sometimes you can cross paths with a surprisingly mature and smart child (8 or younger), but those occurrences are rather rare.
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Having thought about it more, I'll say it like this.
I hate kids, but not people. 0ut of my respect of the fact that a kid is technically a person, I will not let their being a kid take priority over their being a person.
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yeah i agree kids are very nice and i youst to get bullied to the point whir if i walked passed a person id be punched in the stomach so i can compleatly understand what you mean :)
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A response to the general thread:
Wasn't everybody a kid a point in their lives?
I do understand how people would detest kids, or anyone considerable younger than them. I have myself, especially my friends younger brothers that basically break everything they touch. However, you have to accept that kids are still in the process of maturing and need time and an environment to grow up in. Stereotypically, you would think of a kid as loud, noisey, and sometimes even enragening. But seriously. Cut some slack dude. There's always gonna be kids in this world, and you gotta deal with it. Keeping away is fine, but you cant completely ignore them, especially when you have kids yourself.
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One thing I do dislike is when some people assume that people who don't want kids, hate kids. I've been accused of this. Some people get shocked, ask me "why" questions and tell me that I'll eventually want them. I have thought about it before but I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I'd want kids, would be to name them and that wouldn't be fair. I'm willing to baby sit, that's fine. I can be around them, I've even had a job at an art gallery that required myself and 3 others to do arts and crafts with 26 kids for 5 hours a day.. but to raise a child for 19 years? I just don't think I'd be up for that.
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One thing I do dislike is when some people assume that people who don't want kids, hate kids. I've been accused of this. Some people get shocked, ask me "why" questions and tell me that I'll eventually want them. I have thought about it before but I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I'd want kids, would be to name them and that wouldn't be fair. I'm willing to baby sit, that's fine. I can be around them, I've even had a job at an art gallery that required myself and 3 others to do arts and crafts with 26 kids for 5 hours a day.. but to raise a child for 19 years? I just don't think I'd be up for that.
It's quite the commitment, so that's a totally fine reason not to want to.
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It's quite the commitment, so that's a totally fine reason not to want to.
It is, yes. It's an every day commitment and not only that, I would have to pay for schooling, after school activities, school supplies, baby things, tons of clothes each and every year, a larger stock of food.. all that stuff. It's not just about raising a kid, 80% of your time and energy needs to be put into your kid's life, if not more. I just don't think I'd be up to it. Down the road, I might have a pet or two, but it all really depends on how things go in the next 10 years.
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Some food for thought. (https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjF2JTvhebKAhVFeCYKHYyvB3AQFgggMAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2F2014%2F08%2F18%2Fcost-of-raising-a-child_n_5688179.html&usg=AFQjCNH-tbEK_xCdKZwZ9F_PrwmbJAPUhw&sig2=1hT1D84cxa-QxVJ20eH_qQ&bvm=bv.113370389,d.eWE)