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Furry Chat => General => Topic started by: Cecilia Peromi on November 18, 2015, 10:30:55 PM

Title: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on November 18, 2015, 10:30:55 PM
This topic is very foreign to me. In all reality I'm just curious. How many of you guys have relationships? What's it like? How would you go about finding that "special someone"?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Aconitum on November 18, 2015, 10:37:10 PM
Relationships are hard work. I mean... Yeah they're great, but they're hard. However, if you're with someone who you'd give everything to (your heart, mind, blahse blahse), it's totally worth it.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on November 18, 2015, 10:46:05 PM
That's what I believe too. But where exactly is that person? How do you find him/her?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Aconitum on November 18, 2015, 10:52:48 PM
That person is where you least expect them. And... I guess that really all depends on what you're looking for in the person.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on November 18, 2015, 11:36:03 PM
I see... I must sound like a two year old asking these obvious questions, but I seriously don't know these things. I've always had a problem with social interaction. It doesn't come naturally to me like it does for normal people, I have Aspergers Syndrome, a mental condition that inhibits one's social skills.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on November 19, 2015, 12:03:16 AM
I don't have any sort of idea what my soul mate would be like. All I want is someone who would love me for who I am. I barely have that now.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Halei-Helai on November 19, 2015, 02:27:11 PM
Relationships are strange and can come at you from almost out of nowhere. I am currently in a relationship and have been in this one for over a year. Before our relationship got started we knew each other for a year without anything romantic going on. We went from casual acquaintances to good friends to best friends to sisters over the course of that year, and we were both crushing on each other pretty hard but were too scared to tell the other person. A bottle of wine and a night of bad movies and N64 games changed that.


The moral? No, it isn't the wine, and Troll II probably won't get you a significant other either. Relationships can hit you out of nowhere when you least expect them. These things can't always be planned for.


Not that you shouldn't go looking, mind you.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Angder on November 19, 2015, 03:55:31 PM
[stuff]


Not that you shouldn't go looking, mind you.

I disagree, I know there is a social push to find a mate, but people who look for a mate specifically often come off as desperate and... bluntly... unattractive. Also the bonds formed rarely are as strong as those found by chance, because one of the driving forc often becomes more about HAVING a mate, than who that mate is.


Then again I am an Asexual Aromantic so what do I know?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Halei-Helai on November 19, 2015, 04:22:03 PM
I disagree, I know there is a social push to find a mate, but people who look for a mate specifically often come off as desperate and... bluntly... unattractive. Also the bonds formed rarely are as strong as those found by chance, because one of the driving forc often becomes more about HAVING a mate, than who that mate is.


This is true, and perhaps I should revise my original statement. It is important to go looking for another person if it is important to you, but you shouldn't go looking specifically for this other person. Relationships tend to go much better when they arise naturally than when it is forced. So go out into the world, join organizations, take some classes, participate in community events, volunteer, and just meet people in general. The more people you interact with and become friends with, the more likely it is that something might actually develop.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on November 19, 2015, 09:37:02 PM
I want what you have Halei-Halai. A best friend who I could share all my feelings with. We'd do everything together and be inseparable....
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Oathsworn18 on November 24, 2015, 07:12:03 PM
I wish the same... I have never been in a relationship before and the only things I know about being in one of them I have learned from novels and the people around me. It's not that I'm awkward around people - I just haven't met anyone yet. You're in luck to have found someone with whom you can do all these sorts of things.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Furrball on November 25, 2015, 11:44:04 PM
Personally, relationships and I don't really get along. I've dated a few guys, but after a while, I found out that I was more excited and happy right after we'd break up, cuz then I'd be free. So... relationships aren't really a good fit for me right now, I guess.


However, I always support the relationships of others (provided their healthy, of course). I have noticed that a lot of people focus very intently on relationships... I feel perfectly fine on my own, so I guess that's a bit unusual? That's what it seems like, anyway.  :P
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on November 26, 2015, 06:44:35 AM
I want what you have Halei-Halai. A best friend who I could share all my feelings with. We'd do everything together and be inseparable....

I feel you, Cecil. I really want that too, I just don't see anyone around me right now, that are like me. I guess, I'm the outsider at my school, but just in my mind. I mean, I can speak with the others, and it's fun enough, I guess. I'm just not myself :/

Also, I don't have a significant other too *cries in a corner*
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Oathsworn18 on November 26, 2015, 07:34:33 AM
Don't worry Lumia, you will find someone! There is someone out there for everyone! ^_^

Don't give up hope!
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on November 26, 2015, 07:46:01 AM
Yeah, I really hope so. But, I've never even have a girlfriend before, so to be honest... I'm kinda scared about it...
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Silentium Potens on November 27, 2015, 05:16:08 AM
Considering the dating scene during the teen and young adult years, you're not missing out on much Ulvus.  Too many idiots dating for the sake of dating, or for the sake of having a boyfriend or girlfriend.  Just about all of them crash and burn, and seldom do people get out unscathed.  I've never dated once, and I'm not upset.  If I ever start to feel bad about it, all I have to do is look at all of the failed relationships my older siblings went through, or keep an ear open for drama from some random stranger.

EDIT/P.S.:  Besides, you shouldn't be worried about a relationship at a your age.  You have your entire life ahead of you, so just because you don't get a partner now doesn't mean you'll never.  Focus on other things.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on November 27, 2015, 05:35:55 AM
Thank you, that helped a little :)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on November 27, 2015, 05:38:44 AM
I have never even considered having a relationship with anyone up to this point in my life. It just never came to mind, and I never knew anyone who I was really attracted to. Well, up until two months ago, but that's beside the point. You shouldn't look for someone actively, and you shouldn't try to rush the process. All that'll give you is frustration, since it'd basically be like having a mate just to say you did, as if your status depended on it.


Just keep going about with your life. You'll know when you find that special someone.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on November 27, 2015, 06:58:46 PM
This topic is very foreign to me. In all reality I'm just curious. How many of you guys have relationships? What's it like? How would you go about finding that "special someone"?
It's not something you find, it's something that occurs. Be careful.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Brownie on November 28, 2015, 02:52:05 AM
I had one relationship in college. Maybe it's just because it was long-distance and short-lived, but it felt like not as big of a deal as I was expecting, especially after high school where it felt like one of the most important things.

I'd still like to believe there's a "one," though I don't have too much hope anymore.  :'(   Between being asexual and off in my own world so much of the time, it feels like odds are slim to none of finding someone compatible. I'm sort of a solitary person, though, so it's usually not too bad.

I wish you luck in finding your best friend, Cecil.  ^_^
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on November 28, 2015, 03:20:24 AM
Thank you Brownie. And welcome to the forums! This is the perfect place makings friends. There are some people here I owe a lot to.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Goblin Cat 😸 on November 28, 2015, 03:31:07 AM
I think I'm gonna pop in to echo what some of the others have said. Relationships made for the sake of having a relationship won't get you too far. Sometimes you get lucky, but more often than not they don't work out or they turn out to be toxic for both parties. Focus on you. You're not looking for another half because... Well... Surprise! You're a whole thing on your own! And you should focus on yourself and do your own thing because you deserve it as that whole thing that you are.

This is also coming from someone who considers themself asexual and aromantic, but surprise, I'm also in  a relationship with two partners! Things eventually just come together and you'll find the right person (or in my case, people) when you're not searching or trying for it. When you're being yourself and honestly, when you're older, too. You've got a lot of life ahead of you and relationships are likely the last thing you need to worry about committing yourself to, not only because you're still growing, but heck, at your age, is there really anything that you can dedicate yourself to for a really long time? Probably not.

Relationships are something that I think society pushes too hard onto people, as you can be just as happy without one.
Even with my aromates, our relationship is not typical, but something we're all comfortable with, and it takes that bit of growing to figure out what the heck you want from a relationship, if anything at all.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. But that's my two cents!

Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Yuffie on November 28, 2015, 08:48:41 AM
I wonder the same thing, Cecil...

I'm 18. I've never been in a relationship. I've kind of always wanted that dream relationship where the girl or guy is a close friend before we decide to date. Bonus points if the person is a furry or a Brony. And I don't really care if it's online or whatever because there's Skype and stuff.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Silentium Potens on November 28, 2015, 05:04:48 PM
By online you mean a long term relationhship?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: 138 on November 28, 2015, 05:07:47 PM
By online you mean a long term relationhship?

You're thinking of a long distance relationship. I think they could work , but I would certainly meet them one day. Skype would also help said relationship.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on November 28, 2015, 05:25:26 PM
I don't think, I'd mind finding my "one" online, it would just be nice to be able to meet them in person, once in a while.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: 138 on November 28, 2015, 05:27:57 PM
I don't think, I'd mind finding my "one" online, it would just be nice to be able to meet them in person, once in a while.

I'll say that you probably could meet the "one" online. I may have actually  >.>
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on November 28, 2015, 05:39:13 PM
Oooh, you have? X3
Can I ask who? :3
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: 138 on November 28, 2015, 05:43:19 PM
I'd rather not say say for the sake of privacy.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on November 28, 2015, 08:41:44 PM
I'd rather not say say for the sake of privacy.


Must be the Illuminati.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: 138 on November 28, 2015, 08:42:38 PM
I'd rather not say say for the sake of privacy.


Must be the Illuminati.

You know it is, Hollow.  :P
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Uruvion on November 28, 2015, 10:06:25 PM
I'm married. I've been married for a bit over 3 months. She's not a furry, or a gamer like I am, but she's very special to me. We met over facebook when I was going through a divorce of my first wife of 12 years. I drove out to meet her, and we just clicked. We've been inseparable since.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on November 28, 2015, 11:37:09 PM
That's a lovely story. I hope it works out for me like that. But it's just too early to tell.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Yuffie on November 29, 2015, 12:15:23 AM
That is really cute!
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Goblin Cat 😸 on November 29, 2015, 01:49:27 AM
Chiming in as someone who also has been in an online relationship, they can really work out. Though if you're a minor, please be careful with dropping things to move in with an S.O. especially if they are older and you would find yourself dependent on them, financially speaking. That's a dangerous road to walk if it's not with the right person.

Anyway, I met my two losers via a Bioshock roleplay on tumblr. I was roleplaying Sander Cohen. We talked for a long time over skype, at least once per day, texted when we weren't at the computer, and did package exchanges whenever there was an upcoming holiday. Visits were few and far between but after I met up with the both of them to help a mutual friend move, we planned/continued talking about the possibility of moving in together, and now I live with the both of them. So yes, things can work out. It just takes patience and the ability to work with one another.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Dexter Dare on December 02, 2015, 08:29:06 PM
Single and not sure if im loving it or not  :/
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on December 02, 2015, 08:46:07 PM
Kinda feel the same way, Dex. It definitely has it's ups and downs :/
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Dexter Dare on December 02, 2015, 08:56:35 PM
yeah on one hand i hate being around people all the time but on the other hand its nice to always have someone to do stuff with  :/
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rob_Silvermyst on December 20, 2015, 02:37:23 AM
I have not had the best of luck with relationships. Those I find myself interested in either end up getting snatched up by someone else, or they find me too weird because of my faith and my interest in the furry fandom. And some have just used me, one to get back at an ex, another to try and mooch off of me while cheating on me behind my back. These relationships are what drove me to become reclusive, but I am hopeful I might find someone who will genuinely love me and accept me for who I am. The older I get though, the less likely it feels like that will happen.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Drakeyboy on December 20, 2015, 05:09:11 AM
I am in the same boat as you Rob. I tried on three separate occasions and two of them were taken and they never told meup (to be honest I think they were cheating on someone for me), and the last one was snatched up actually was a lesbian. :/ makes me nervous about trying to find a girlfriend.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on December 20, 2015, 03:18:48 PM
Confidence is key.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ohranev on December 26, 2015, 03:54:48 AM
I'm in a lesbian relationship now since August of 2013. I don't really know what to talk about with this, it's a weird thing. It's been very bumpy at times due to physical limitations, but I am trying to be more open about it. I guess I have to say that I like keeping my relationship between me and the person I am with as much as possible. No one in my family nor my friends in real life know about it.


What is it like? When it's all going good, amazing. I feel really happy, even though some other things usually bring me down at the same time. I like being with them, it makes me feel safe, I need someone to hug, kiss, open up and expose myself to. I would say the biggest part of a relationship is trust, in yourself, and in the significant other. To open your heart to a row of knives and a row of blankets, it's nice to get the row of blankets from someone. It's nice to show them you. No matter how broken you feel. For them to take that and to make you feel secure and safe, and to do the same for them.


Now for how you get into one.. I don't know. My first real "relationship" started off as a rather weird crush. It ended pretty badly. The second one resulted from me being raped and seeking protection, the protector had become my boyfriend later. And this one, current one, resulted as I left the last one in anger and sadness, finding happiness and love in someone else after we got to talking a lot.


I really don't know how you get to find "the one". For me it's just been a lot of talking. Getting closer and closer and eventually making the step to tell them you'd like to share more of your world with them, and hope they want to do the same. It's not quite an escalated relationship at this point, it's close, though. Then you spend a few days or weeks like that, and then you can say "I love you" without feeling awkward. And they will say "I love you, too".
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on December 26, 2015, 09:54:11 AM
Ltar, I am sorry for how rough your past has been. You show be proud of having gotten this far, and I am happy for your ability to carry on. Congratulations on your current relationship. I hope it lasts forever.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ohranev on December 27, 2015, 04:19:02 AM
Thank you, I hope so, too.
One step at a time.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on January 13, 2016, 07:03:11 AM
Well both me and my s/o are in an open non romantic relationship. Its open as we can be with others, yet we choose not to mostly. (hard to explain but think of it as friends who are intimate. Also we both have the same female we go to.) I know it may not make sence but we are human and need that human touch I gues...  :?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: anoni on January 14, 2016, 04:37:55 AM
My rule is that you should know the person for at least 6 months before you decide to get into a relationship with them. I feel if you don't know someone for long enough, then you just see the good side without seeing the bad and you can't make a good decision.

I'm currently in a relationship with a local syd fur named Cluffy, it's been going well, we've been together approximately 3 or so months now. I've had two relationships in the past, first relationship lasted a year and I broke it off due to perceived differences in what we wanted from the relationship. Second relationship lasted 2 years, and it was a mutual break up due to distance.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on January 14, 2016, 05:53:21 AM
I can say yes, I was in a relationship once, where I now feel like we rushed into it. I actually barely knew anything about her. We weren't really friends before the relationship, so we (at least I) hadn't had the time to build up that personal trust. I always felt awkward and pushy, when talking about personal stuff with her. And that's not something you should feel, when talking to a girlfriend. At least not in my opinion.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on January 14, 2016, 09:36:53 PM
I haven't dated in a long time. I had a really bad breakup a few years back and haven't been pursuing anyone since. If the right person comes along, I think I could try again though. As a shut-in writer though, I don't think it will be likely.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ST-84 Sahelanthropus on January 15, 2016, 04:58:13 AM
After all the arguing, drama, and other dumb stuff I see going on between a lot of couples I know, I just want be with a highly intelligent, autonomous, good looking Robot of my design. Maybe a Dragon or something, definitely masculine.

This probably makes me sound selfish, and also pretty creepy maybe, but I just want a guy who both looks great and is flawlessly compatible with me, with no differences of opinion or anything in any subject, and all the same interests as myself. I'd just love and adore him so much, and he'd reciprocate perfectly~

Oh, not only do I feel like I'd have trouble with finding a really compatible person, I just don't even like the Human body, yet I'm not at all actually asexual. That pretty much makes it impossible for me to simply find a man, and necessitates creating the ideal man.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on January 15, 2016, 09:15:34 AM
You sound exactly like me. I believe im pan, also I like masculine traits. strength and confidence/self reliance are almost as important as intelligence.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ST-84 Sahelanthropus on January 15, 2016, 02:00:18 PM
Yeah, the 'ideal man' that I speak of is wholly superior to Humans in physical capabilities, and would be so delightfully strong both in muscle and personal character. He'd be faultless, as I too strive to be.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on January 15, 2016, 08:29:50 PM
Well hello, I happen to be some sort of natural body builder lol
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cheza on January 15, 2016, 09:50:57 PM
I've soon been single for a whole year. And I'm perfectly ok with that.
In some ways, I think it's a good thing, since before I'd just tend to get "too dependent" on my partner (Not in a "I NEED YOU HERE 25/8"-way, but in the "I'd rather have you take care of all the things I have issues with taking care of myself "-way, which also isn't a good thing since a person can't always depend on someone else being there to "babysit" them) since I've never really "been alone" like this before (First I had my family, then my adoptive family, then I ended up at an orphanage with staff around 24/7, then when I turned 18 I moved to my first place of my own and shortly thereafter my back then mate moved in with me.)
After we broke up I was rather devastated for multiple reasons (he was abusive and manipulative, and after having heard things like "You should be glad you have me, I don't think you'll ever find anyone else who'll be as accepting towards your weird quirks as me" enough times I started to think of it as true.)


About half a year or so later I started dating another guy. We got along well for the most part, but in some ways the thing didn't really feel too thought-through. (While we had a lot of things in common and generally enjoyed each other's company, our personalities didn't match up too well and that brought us apart in the end.)


Still, that second relationship taught me that there is indeed more fish in the sea and that people usually are really accepting even if I'm a bit on the "weirder" side, and that has given me faith that one day I might find someone who fully and truly understands and appreciates me for who I am and the way I am. It might take time, but I'm fine with that. It happens when it happens, and I'm patient...




...Buuuuut should everything else fail, I always have a lovely replica of an Amulet of Mara :D (That's the item you use in Skyrim to let someone know you'd be interested in marrying them, for those not into Skyrim/video games)
Would actually be sooo awesome to have someone confess or even propose like that, even tho I guess that's asking for a little -too- much xD
Oh well, a woof can dream.


(And on a slightly related note, lately I've caught my thoughts drifting off towards a certain person I know, more often than usually. That's supposedly a sign. It's mildly disturbing in this case tho since even tho I like that person a lot and even if the feeling would be mutual, the chances of things actually working out seems rather slim. Still, it's nice to know I still have it all in me even after all the things I've been through. I rarely develop feelings towards other people like this and the few times I have in the past, it's been because I found their scents attractive.)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on January 15, 2016, 10:01:22 PM
This reminds me alot of some of my previous relationships. My viewpoint now I think is to find someone as compatible as possible, I realize in the past I may have settled or been a victim of frivolity. The amulet of mara idea is good though, maybe I can just do that lol
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Unchainedfox on January 31, 2016, 04:40:45 AM
I can say that finding that "someone" is very hard. I'm 31 and I'm still single. Perhaps one of these days I'll meet someone and we both just click.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on January 31, 2016, 01:43:59 PM
I think im mostly in a relationship with myself, my vanity, and my writing at this point. IF someone that i percieve to be mentally stable enough and similar enough to myself comes by I may pursue them, but im just not feeling it anymore. I think I just want to get semi-wealthy and get out more/travel some and fill my living space with cool stuff (After I personally paint all over the walls in whatever designs/images I think of at the time)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 01, 2016, 02:15:03 PM
To your standards, i'm in a relationship with a void inside my heart.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Panda on February 01, 2016, 03:14:26 PM
Well both me and my s/o are in an open non romantic relationship. Its open as we can be with others, yet we choose not to mostly. (hard to explain but think of it as friends who are intimate. Also we both have the same female we go to.) I know it may not make sence but we are human and need that human touch I gues...  :?

Is it a platonic partner sort of deal? The concept of that is so interesting to me. I love that the internet has helped people be more accepting of those sorts of things ^^

---

I've been with my boyfriend almost 3 years now. He's not actively a furry but he goes to cons and stuff with me. And he's very accepting <3
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 01, 2016, 03:16:03 PM
Well both me and my s/o are in an open non romantic relationship. Its open as we can be with others, yet we choose not to mostly. (hard to explain but think of it as friends who are intimate. Also we both have the same female we go to.) I know it may not make sence but we are human and need that human touch I gues...  :?

Is it a platonic partner sort of deal? The concept of that is so interesting to me. I love that the internet has helped people be more accepting of those sorts of things ^^

---

I've been with my boyfriend almost 3 years now. He's not actively a furry but he goes to cons and stuff with me. And he's very accepting <3


The possiblities and concepts that are possibe and have happened are really great.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Nrein on February 01, 2016, 07:51:41 PM
I've been in my current relationship for almost four years now, I can say it's been pretty well so far, don't really plan on it changing any time soon either.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Goblin Cat 😸 on February 02, 2016, 09:54:23 PM
Both my partners are platonic partners as I'm an aromantic. I'm not Styxx but I share a similar/same experience as I have an open relationship as well, though we don't really exercise that all that much since we're all asexual.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ori on February 02, 2016, 10:40:55 PM
I had one... (Not that we were too close, I would say it barely counts lol.)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on February 03, 2016, 02:17:15 AM
Both my partners are platonic partners as I'm an aromantic. I'm not Styxx but I share a similar/same experience as I have an open relationship as well, though we don't really exercise that all that much since we're all asexual.

Lol "I am not styxx" that made me laugh in a good way.

(on topic)

Before I realized I was an aromantic I could never have a relationship, as I could never be interested in the romance, and the fact that actually makes me sick doesn't help either XD
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Makias on February 03, 2016, 04:02:25 AM
I have never been out on a date with anyone, so I have no clue what it is like, but I know that someone will come along eventually.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on February 04, 2016, 12:00:18 AM
Well both me and my s/o are in an open non romantic relationship. Its open as we can be with others, yet we choose not to mostly. (hard to explain but think of it as friends who are intimate. Also we both have the same female we go to.) I know it may not make sence but we are human and need that human touch I gues...  :?

Does that mean you.... D-Do... That?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on February 04, 2016, 02:39:28 AM
Well both me and my s/o are in an open non romantic relationship. Its open as we can be with others, yet we choose not to mostly. (hard to explain but think of it as friends who are intimate. Also we both have the same female we go to.) I know it may not make sence but we are human and need that human touch I gues...  :?

Does that mean you.... D-Do... That?

What are you trying to say? xD
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Folic Acid on February 04, 2016, 02:43:49 AM
What is love? Love is the seventh sense of the human that destroys the other six senses, and makes the person nonsense. That is what love is...
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on February 04, 2016, 02:45:04 AM
Do you do the "S" thing Styxx?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on February 04, 2016, 02:48:05 AM
Stock exchanges?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Folic Acid on February 04, 2016, 02:49:41 AM
“True love is finding someone whose demons play well with yours"
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on February 04, 2016, 03:01:00 AM
Yes I am a "s" fiend where as styxx is a pure fursona.

Madness you can say love is a weakness?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Folic Acid on February 04, 2016, 03:06:59 AM
Love is the weakest of weaknesses someone can destroy you wit love I just gave up with love and I'm fine
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 04, 2016, 03:10:56 AM
“True love is finding someone whose demons play well with yours"
God I wish that was true. xD
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Folic Acid on February 04, 2016, 03:12:25 AM
I tried but my demons are just to monstrous for anyone else
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 04, 2016, 03:15:04 AM
this isnt the complain you're loneley thread ugh


So, how many relationships does it take do you think does it take to find true love? On average? (Everyone?)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Folic Acid on February 04, 2016, 03:16:21 AM
1: i wasn't complaining I was bragging
2: forever
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 04, 2016, 03:19:34 AM




So, I think it varied from person to person, but in general, 2 or three!
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Farewell on February 04, 2016, 03:26:42 AM
I don't think that's true in my IMO
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 04, 2016, 03:30:16 AM
What do you think, Zaida?
Title: Relationships?
Post by: Farewell on February 04, 2016, 03:51:16 AM
Well I think you have to know someone before dating them or calling it true love. It could take zero to fifty relationships before discovering it's meant to be... I'm just saying I think rather than people today being weak, desperate and jumping out at eachother or  to date thinking it's true love... But Should wait, and be patient and maybe It could be way easier to find that special somebody. However I'm not an expert again, this is my first time dating someone... And this is my opinion so Egh~
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on February 04, 2016, 04:38:05 AM
I must agree with Zaida. I am in a relationship, and I can say that true love cannot be determined to occur after a certain number of tries. To add to that, while two people may seem to be perfect as of now, you must consider that people can change over time, or with continued exposure to one another. This holds especially true for online relationships, where couples have limited exposure to each other until the potential date of physical encounters.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Makias on February 04, 2016, 04:43:46 AM
I must agree with Zaida. I am in a relationship, and I can say that true love cannot be determined to occur after a certain number of tries. To add to that, while two people may seem to be perfect as of now, you must consider that people can change over time, or with continued exposure to one another. This holds especially true for online relationships, where couples have limited exposure to each other until the potential date of physical encounters.

That is why I a bit skeptical about online dating, but it seems like my only option at this time since there is no one in my area I would date
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 04, 2016, 03:09:04 PM
You definitley put it well. I just didn't feel up to speaking that much due to the enviroment. For me, it's just been frustrating because i've dated a countless number of people, trying my best to not being a 'date too fast' kind of thing. I've dissapointed myself too many times. And, I feel helpless sometimes. Even though i'm not, I just can't help myself. I **censor** one relationship up that was on the track for marriage All by myself. What is wrong with me?  Eh, probably something's wrong with me, and im another case of someone who dies alone.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Makias on February 05, 2016, 02:03:16 AM
You definitley put it well. I just didn't feel up to speaking that much due to the enviroment. For me, it's just been frustrating because i've dated a countless number of people, trying my best to not being a 'date too fast' kind of thing. I've dissapointed myself too many times. And, I feel helpless sometimes. Even though i'm not, I just can't help myself. I **censor** one relationship up that was on the track for marriage All by myself. What is wrong with me?  Eh, probably something's wrong with me, and im another case of someone who dies alone.

I wouldn't say something like that, but I feel you. I don't know what it even means to love someone because I've never had it. No one ever talked to me in highschool, I never did a thing to anyone and I wasn't liked..........so I guess I know what you mean. Still though, I haven't given up looking.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Folic Acid on February 05, 2016, 02:07:26 AM
Honestly ill go back to my earlier post find a person who's demons fit well with yours
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on February 05, 2016, 02:54:57 AM
The thing with me, is that I don't need another, my bestie knows that at any given time or moment I can say I'm done this bores me. And I will be by my self again, and I have zero problems with being alone. I have offspring so I have done my job in the universe.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Folic Acid on February 05, 2016, 02:56:58 AM
See same I'm fine with being alone I've never really been able to say I love you to anyone and mean it I've never had a relationship last longer than a week cause my demons are to crazy\monstrous
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on February 05, 2016, 02:57:46 AM
Sure you are not aromantic as well?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Folic Acid on February 05, 2016, 03:09:26 AM
Nope romance never came to me but I can be if I really like you
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on February 05, 2016, 03:44:24 AM
No I mean "aromantic" some one who has little to no interest in romance/someone who can not love more than a friend
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on February 05, 2016, 12:01:10 PM
You have kids Styxx?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on February 05, 2016, 12:44:00 PM
One and lets just say I was lied to when married, the woman got what she wanted...
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 05, 2016, 03:19:35 PM
You definitley put it well. I just didn't feel up to speaking that much due to the enviroment. For me, it's just been frustrating because i've dated a countless number of people, trying my best to not being a 'date too fast' kind of thing. I've dissapointed myself too many times. And, I feel helpless sometimes. Even though i'm not, I just can't help myself. I **censor** one relationship up that was on the track for marriage All by myself. What is wrong with me?  Eh, probably something's wrong with me, and im another case of someone who dies alone.

I wouldn't say something like that, but I feel you. I don't know what it even means to love someone because I've never had it. No one ever talked to me in highschool, I never did a thing to anyone and I wasn't liked..........so I guess I know what you mean. Still though, I haven't given up looking.
Seems like, instead of not being with anyone, i've been with quite a few. And I struggle. Im single and it's somewhat easy for me to get another girlfriend. But still, I don't want to do it anymore, i've failed more than anybody I know. It's just what it is.



Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ventus Fall on February 05, 2016, 09:37:26 PM
@Cecilia

Relationships is a lot about personal experience and taste. It's about getting to know about yourself and how you can figure out what kind of person you want to be together with. It's best not to actively search for someone or to cling to someone, but to rather let things happen as they develop. Forcing it could make you and/or the person you want to be with feel trapped, which eventually in most cases end up in separation.
It is also best to be yourself, and to be together with someone who isn't afraid to be themselves. It will be extremely tiring and so-not-worth it if you or your (potential) partner end up trying to be someone they're not. This too in most cases will end up in separation.

With so much things that can go wrong, it may seem silly to continue a quest to find your eventual partner, if anything. But see failures more as a way to learn rather than failures. Most people don't learn form their mistakes and thus in each new relationship tend to make the same -or similar-  mistakes. Sure it can be aggravating to have one relationship after another fail, and it's totally ok if someone decides they are just not meant to be together with someone or if they are better off alone. As long as they are happy with their choice.


I can go on and on, but I think I summarised all my thoughts reasonably tidied up ^^
That is what advice I can give to you :)
I hope this helps.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on February 05, 2016, 09:45:23 PM
Thanks Ventus, I'm confident that I'll find love one day. I'm just waiting for the right person I guess.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Dexter Dare on February 05, 2016, 09:51:57 PM
there's a famous saying, girls mature very quickly, boys never really mature at all  ;)  but where not all bad honest
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Dexter Dare on February 05, 2016, 09:55:31 PM
yes it honestly a struggle to see how some guys i know treat the girlfriends, now i always aim to be a gentleman though it's never appreciated  :/
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on February 05, 2016, 10:24:04 PM
No, boys don't mature. cx Some are just more polite than others.

I can say that I matured a good bit in the past several years.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on February 05, 2016, 10:31:05 PM
Umm... D-does anyone like... flab?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Dexter Dare on February 05, 2016, 10:32:15 PM
yeah i know but i dont see how slapping a strangers back side calling here a female dog or some description of a sex worker is preferable to talking and having a drink (but i mean in a relationship too)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Dexter Dare on February 05, 2016, 10:42:30 PM
yeah i know but i dont see how slapping a strangers back side calling here a female dog or some description of a sex worker is preferable to talking and having a drink (but i mean in a relationship too)
I never said that. I actually concur that being a gentleman and always respecting women (or apeople in general, honestly) is the right thing to do. I jut said that it will bring you nowhere in itself.


That being said, you'd be surprised how low of a self-esteem many people have, both those giving and those receiving backside slapping. You can't really do anything about that, and it's not really your problem. Aim for better people. :)


yeah sorry i have difficulty explaining and wording things sometimes  XD  and personal no cecelia, well depends how much personally don't mind a bit but remember everyones different  ;) [size=78%] [/size]
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on February 05, 2016, 10:51:34 PM
I'm not one for the whole "be a gentleman" ideal. I prefer to just be a nice person. Nothing special about that.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 05, 2016, 11:24:00 PM
Umm... D-does anyone like... flab?
People exist out there that can see past stuff like that.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Goblin Cat 😸 on February 06, 2016, 12:25:00 AM
Umm... D-does anyone like... flab?
People exist out there that can see past stuff like that.

There are also people who enjoy that. Doesn't necessarily have to be looked past as if it's a flaw.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rho'Syn Ilwynog on February 06, 2016, 01:25:33 AM
I've been in a relationship with my fiancée for growing on two years. 18 months exactly.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on February 06, 2016, 02:05:48 AM
*listening to music alone in the corner*
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 06, 2016, 02:13:02 AM
*Starts balancing goggles on Galefargion*


Uhm. Cool, Syn! Im glad that's you're happy.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rho'Syn Ilwynog on February 06, 2016, 02:14:50 AM
Yep :3 so relationship stuff I think I can help a little with. It's a lot of work.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on February 06, 2016, 02:15:15 AM
*Is sitting very still like a furry table*  :|
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rho'Syn Ilwynog on February 06, 2016, 02:17:00 AM
*sits on furry table*
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on February 06, 2016, 02:56:19 AM
Why hello *still frozen looking up at Syn*  <.<
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rho'Syn Ilwynog on February 06, 2016, 03:10:45 AM
Oh hey the furniture is alive! *looks down*
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on February 06, 2016, 03:13:09 AM
only a little bit  XD
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rho'Syn Ilwynog on February 06, 2016, 03:17:53 AM
Do you mind? Or need me to stand up?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on February 06, 2016, 02:31:16 PM
Nah im kinda used to being furniture lol
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on February 06, 2016, 04:23:21 PM
*sets a cup of coffee on Gale*
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Galefargion on February 06, 2016, 06:40:45 PM
*is very still*
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on February 06, 2016, 07:10:07 PM
Hm, relationships. I've only been in a few. I tend to take them...slowly? Seriously? Something like that.

I will unashamedly admit I've fallen in love as of late. And I'm 99% sure the feeling is mutual. I've probably ingested too much medieval/fantasy fiction but I feel myself wanting to be a 'knight' towards him. Not in an overprotective way, but I care about him and I want to do nice things for him.  Maybe I'm just being silly XP

On another note, I've also been considering the idea for awhile that I may be slightly polyamorous.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on February 06, 2016, 07:31:27 PM
Hm, relationships. I've only been in a few. I tend to take them...slowly? Seriously? Something like that.

I will unashamedly admit I've fallen in love as of late. And I'm 99% sure the feeling is mutual. I've probably ingested too much medieval/fantasy fiction but I feel myself wanting to be a 'knight' towards him. Not in an overprotective way, but I care about him and I want to do nice things for him.  Maybe I'm just being silly XP

On another note, I've also been considering the idea for awhile that I may be slightly polyamorous.

I find it alright to a certain point
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ventus Fall on February 07, 2016, 03:17:58 AM
Thanks Ventus, I'm confident that I'll find love one day. I'm just waiting for the right person I guess.


I'm glad to hear that you're confident ^^
That is always a plus ;)

It doesn't matter if you would start dating now or later, as long as you feel you are ready for it (and of course follow certain rules which fit your age and wait until you are old enough and feel ready). Don't rush into things. A month might seem long, but it is still not long enough most of the time to know a person. Usually I think a year would be a good indication, because you would have had various seasons and loads of different situations come onto your path and that of your partner. But if you think a shorter amount of time or a longer amount of time is what you need, then that is allright too. It can differ from person to person, but it's always good to make sure the relationship has gone through various situations so you can see how you react and how your partner reacts.

Waiting for the right person is good, and don't be worried or feel too bad when that person doesn't seem right. Remember, you get to learn more about yourself through failures. So if it doesn't work out, you'll be better prepared for the next person which might actually be the right one for you, ok? ^^
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on February 07, 2016, 09:04:38 AM
Another thing to note is that a good couple isn't one which never has arguments, but rather one which resolves all arguments. No grudges, no lingering anger. A mutual understanding, even if it reveals a difference in ideas.

I had at least one instance of conflicting ideas with my significant other, but we figure things out and set any disputes straight. Discussions usually end with an agreement and a solution. Even if they don't, we don't end with "fine, be like that", but instead with "I love you" or "There's nothing wrong with having a different opinion". Maybe it's just me, but I think a perfect couple doesn't even remotely suggest a completely similar set of ideas and beliefs between two people.

Sometimes it's nice for someone to disagree. It shows individuality.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ventus Fall on February 07, 2016, 10:21:06 AM
Another thing to note is that a good couple isn't one which never has arguments, but rather on which resolves all arguments. No grudges, no lingering anger. A mutual understanding, even if it reveals a difference in ideas.

I had at least one instance of conflicting ideas with my significant other, but we figure things out and set any disputes straight. Discussions usually end with an agreement and a solution. Even if they don't, we don't end with "fine, be like that", but instead with "I love you" or "There's nothing wrong with having a different opinion". Maybe it's just me, but I think a perfect couple doesn't even remotely suggest a completely similar set of ideas and beliefs between two people.

Sometimes it's nice for someone to disagree. It shows individuality.


This. Thank you, HollowOfHaze to share your thoughts on it like so :)
I agree, a perfect couple doesn't mean you have to have the (exact) same ideas and opinions, but it's abut constantly working on it an discussing. Communication is key.
It's fine, no. Great if both of the people in a relationship share their own opinions, keeping their own and also agreeing to others. Constantly arguing isn't good, but when you do, and both teams have their own good points, then the relationship can move on to the next step: Accepting your partner is a different person than you and also has his/her own ideas on the matter.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Kipsy on February 07, 2016, 03:19:29 PM
I'm recently engaged. Well since November 3rd. Still feels recent to me.
I met my fiance online on Gaia about five years ago. The internet is alright for finding a partner, but I didn't go out seeking someone to be in a relationship with. We were friends first and only friends for a good while then the relationship developed into something else.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on February 07, 2016, 04:21:54 PM
Another thing to note is that a good couple isn't one which never has arguments, but rather on which resolves all arguments. No grudges, no lingering anger. A mutual understanding, even if it reveals a difference in ideas.

I'd agree with that. In a lot of disagreements, not just relationships, I feel like ignoring a problem isn't a good solution at all. I'm not exactly good at sharing my feelings but I'm willing to try if I should need to confront an issue. Like something that's come up recently... Regardless, clearing up misunderstandings or conflicting ideas should be a good thing, even if it's difficult :p
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Panda on February 07, 2016, 04:45:14 PM
I'm recently engaged. Well since November 3rd. Still feels recent to me.
I met my fiance online on Gaia about five years ago. The internet is alright for finding a partner, but I didn't go out seeking someone to be in a relationship with. We were friends first and only friends for a good while then the relationship developed into something else.

That's adorable! Congrats ^_^
Long distance/online relationship success stories are always awesome to me; but Gaia is specifically interesting because I always forget people meet actual friends on there :P
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Whitepaw Niniichi/Enigir Shosa on March 04, 2016, 02:28:40 PM
Man, I forgot how supportive these forums are.
I haven't read everything (but with some of the advice I've seen thus far I might be wise to) but I've nonetheless got some questions...assuming anyone checks this thread still. Not being locked is a good sign...
I also have diagnosed mental difficulties and I'm trying to figure out what actually IS? Love as a construct. What is love~? Baby don't hurt me~!
I'm making terrible references.
The point is I've had three relationships, definitively screwed up two and would have screwed the third up sooner or later and I just want to get as many answers as I can from as many people as I can. I'm lost. I don't want to be creepy and desperate, so answers and growth is what I think I need.
Please help, fellow furs~!
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Halei-Helai on March 04, 2016, 03:58:16 PM
Man, I forgot how supportive these forums are.
I haven't read everything (but with some of the advice I've seen thus far I might be wise to) but I've nonetheless got some questions...assuming anyone checks this thread still. Not being locked is a good sign...
I also have diagnosed mental difficulties and I'm trying to figure out what actually IS? Love as a construct. What is love~? Baby don't hurt me~!
I'm making terrible references.
The point is I've had three relationships, definitively screwed up two and would have screwed the third up sooner or later and I just want to get as many answers as I can from as many people as I can. I'm lost. I don't want to be creepy and desperate, so answers and growth is what I think I need.
Please help, fellow furs~!


Can you perhaps clarify your question(s) a bit? Maybe it is just me but what you are asking right now seems overly broad and vague.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on March 04, 2016, 04:07:43 PM
Well it will vary from person to person, I can try to help. But I'm aromantic. So I may  not be able to give you what you seek, however I can and gladly will give you some insight  on your questions. :)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on March 05, 2016, 12:49:01 AM
I don't mind trying to give some advice too, if I'm able to. I've only been through one relationship myself, and starting to form a second one at the moment.

I feel we have many different perspectives here on the forum so hopefully you can find some useful help ^^
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on March 05, 2016, 02:01:58 AM
I'm currently single and i'm being pestered about "Who I like." I just DESPERATELY AVOID ANSWERING THAT.
But turns out from avoiding the question, there's like a congregation of guys that've come up to me and just all said "You basically can have any girl you want"
I mean, no? That's not how it works?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Silaluk on March 05, 2016, 02:22:55 AM
Because of my rough relationship with my father, I don't think I could ever learn to trust a man.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on March 05, 2016, 07:37:42 AM
Because of my rough relationship with my father, I don't think I could ever learn to trust a man.

Not all men are the same. Although I can understand where your feelings on that would come from.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Silaluk on March 05, 2016, 01:23:54 PM
I know that all men aren't the same, but they all have the same capability to hurt me or other women in the same way that my father and another man did.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Whitepaw Niniichi/Enigir Shosa on March 05, 2016, 01:28:01 PM
Well for starters I really don't understand what love is. Like recognising it and not mistaking it for loneliness or worse, plain old lust.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on March 05, 2016, 07:20:36 PM
I know that all men aren't the same, but they all have the same capability to hurt me or other women in the same way that my father and another man did.

Not in all cases. If you are referring to the disparity in strength between men and women, then that would make sense. However, just because a person might have the physical capability to do harm, it does not mean that they possess the moral capacity to hurt another person in a similar way. It comes down to each individual, and who they are as a person. Both genders are capable of displaying abusive behavior, but it is the responsibility and inherent dignity of a person which prevents them from acting out of anger in a violent way.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Silaluk on March 05, 2016, 07:32:39 PM
I think I'm just happier on my own, regardless. It's not very easy to forgive and forget those things.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on March 05, 2016, 07:52:49 PM
Maybe I'm biased because I've known many sweet guys, and also some annoying women. For me, I don't believe that gender is related to a person's morality. They can use it to the detriment of others of course, but that's up to the person's own volition. That's just my perspective.

As for love itself.. For awhile I didn't care about being in a relationship. I like romance in fiction and stuff, but didn't think too much about having it. Part of that may be that I didn't have many friends to begin with that a romantic relationship was even more unthinkable, or that I was unsure if anyone would like me anyway. I do get a kind of "attraction" for certain people. Maybe it's just that I find them good looking, or something deeper that draws me to them. I don't think I can call that love since, well, I'd have to get to know them and see if I indeed have feelings for them to call it love.

My current relationship(I guess it's one) kinda happened by chance/coincidence. In this case I felt that attraction, but admittedly didn't act on it directly at first because I had no idea if the other person felt the same or even knew about me(I'm shy alright?). Turns out they felt the same exact way..
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Crest Is Dead ((For Now)) on March 05, 2016, 09:00:26 PM
I know that all men aren't the same, but they all have the same capability to hurt me or other women in the same way that my father and another man did.


Yes and in that said regard every woman has thag capability to hurt me. It's more of you need to trust your partner. I'm not saying I will be easy I'm saying you need to,
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: SadDubwool on March 06, 2016, 07:51:37 AM
Ehhhhh, I never could have a crush when I was ¨with someone¨, i find it even harder at this point in my life


I might eventually get the feeling of love, but that will happen in the distant future.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Silaluk on March 06, 2016, 09:18:46 PM
If you just broke up with someone then I wouldn't advise starting anything now, even if you can't find someone.


I know from other peoples' experiences, it's always better to take a break for a while. Take some time for yourself.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on March 07, 2016, 12:35:37 AM
In all honesty I don't need one, hell I may become single as it stands, and people will always say "but you need love in your life." My reply would simply be thin : Then get a dog. You can love them as much as you want, we as human are "broken" if we don't rely on someone else, emotionally. They even say you need so and so many hugs per day to survive. Its all a bunch if weakness talk. All it takes is some simple logical  thought. And Tada.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on March 07, 2016, 12:17:46 PM
....I like hugs... I wish I had someone to hug. Maybe someday.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: MustardHusky on March 07, 2016, 03:04:31 PM
I was once in a relationship with a guy that lasted two days.
he asked me out Friday night, we didn't contact each other at all on the weekend, and I dumped him Sunday night.

I never liked him tbqh.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on March 09, 2016, 02:08:23 PM
OKay, get this.
I understand how you've experienced how MEEEEAN people really can get.
Anywho, i've seen it with both genders, and I care not? Yes, it's horrible what one can do to another.  No, im not going to assume every person will be like that.
There's a difference between what people are physically capable to do and morally capable of doing.
For example, i'm perfectly capable of lying down some serious hurt. In all honesty? I could'nt even if I had to. I'm not an abusive sack of shit even if I am a guy, and perfectly physically capable.
Anyhow.
Mustard that's kinda funny. Thats basically how relationships works in those years of school. x3

Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: mclovin on March 09, 2016, 06:13:02 PM
I would like to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but it's just that uncertainty about what would happen that turns me away.

Right now, I'm more focused on fixing my older sister and I relationship. I think it's best for me to realize that having a boyfriend probably wouldn't give me that much happiness.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Cecilia Peromi on March 09, 2016, 09:50:29 PM
I'm gonna go right out and say it. I want to be taken care of, I want a guy (or gal) to be the one who does stuff while I do other stuff. That's what I want.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: mclovin on March 09, 2016, 10:29:36 PM
I'm gonna go right out and say it. I want to be taken care of, I want a guy (or gal) to be the one who does stuff while I do other stuff. That's what I want.

That's exactly how I think sometimes! I want to be taken care of and I want to feel safe but sometimes you don't need a boyfriend (or girlfriend) for that. Sometimes all you need is a close relationship with a family member or friend.

I remembered all I wanted was a guy to make me happy and that a guy will be the only thing that made me happy, but I guess I kinda realized it's really a 50/50 thing and that no one is that perfect. Relationships are kinda difficult,  people are difficult. It's...... uh, complicated.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Silaluk on March 09, 2016, 10:49:40 PM
I'd probably be the "protecting" one in the relationship. I have tendency to sort of watch over people before I actually talk to them. Not in a stalking way, but just keeping an eye on them. Especially women. Not in a romantic sense though.


Speaking of women, I can't tell if I'm bisexual or what. I'm attracted to the female body but not women themselves.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on March 10, 2016, 12:25:49 AM
I'd probably be the "protecting" one in the relationship. I have tendency to sort of watch over people before I actually talk to them. Not in a stalking way, but just keeping an eye on them. Especially women. Not in a romantic sense though.


Speaking of women, I can't tell if I'm bisexual or what. I'm attracted to the female body but not women themselves.

I like to be cared for and to know that the other person will always be there for me, but I've also spent a lot of time maintaining/protecting myself so I don't need constant fawning or maintenance. If anything, I've noticed that with the relationship I'm kind of in right now I kind of want to feel like a knight, or at least care about them a lot. It doesn't hurt that they sometimes remind me of an adorable cat ^^'

I'm 99% certain I'm at least biromantic myself, if not bisexual, since I do get attracted to some women; though I've never tried to make any moves//flirt with any(not much with guys either tbh).
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Proto Triose on March 10, 2016, 08:21:13 AM
Relationships are extremely tricky. I want that someone I can be with and be happy with, take care of and share my life with. But I've just kind of given up on finding that; that's not to say I won't keep an eye out for my mate, but I just don't have much hope anymore. I think, in my opinion, a true and happy relationship is a best friend with benefits.

I think love will find you when you're not really looking for it. In the mean time, make the most of what time you have! :) Everyone finds someone to be with, eventually. *hugs Ceci* I'll give you virtual hugs and cuddles any time you need them, mousey!
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Makias on March 11, 2016, 03:44:55 AM
Relationships are extremely tricky. I want that someone I can be with and be happy with, take care of and share my life with. But I've just kind of given up on finding that; that's not to say I won't keep an eye out for my mate, but I just don't have much hope anymore. I think, in my opinion, a true and happy relationship is a best friend with benefits.

I think love will find you when you're not really looking for it. In the mean time, make the most of what time you have! :) Everyone finds someone to be with, eventually. *hugs Ceci* I'll give you virtual hugs and cuddles any time you need them, mousey!


Well said
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: PossumDeMort on March 11, 2016, 03:58:08 AM
just keep open and you'll find the right someone, as soon as you close yourself off it becomes that much harder.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Sub-Zero Knight on March 11, 2016, 04:05:44 PM
I've been in one for... eh.... about 3 months. I had one before then that lasted about 7 months, but I dumped him because he acted like a 2 year old and treated me and my friends like crap. xP
Title: Relationships?
Post by: Farewell on March 11, 2016, 04:40:13 PM
@Silaluk. Yea same here, it's odd.
My last/first relationship wasn't that great to be honest but again I was immature and didn't think it through, lastly was online.. So it didn't work out and I gave far too many chances and tried to keep things together, and don't really think he was my 'type'. I'm taking a break and don't think I will date for awhile. You learn from your mistakes. (And I'm not saying this in a rude way)
I actually have a crush however I think I'll move on anyways. Besides I don't want anyone nor need anyone in my life. I can wait.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Whitepaw Niniichi/Enigir Shosa on March 12, 2016, 05:59:53 AM
You guys sure are saying a lot...
So then...how much introspection and self-figuring-out vs. how much just letting life happen do you guys think is required for making/letting love happen? I mean it's all very well and good to know what you want but it's also pretty dependant on whoever crops up in one's life too, correct?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Nutmeg on March 12, 2016, 11:02:54 AM
I've never been in a relationship before. To be honest, all I'd really want from one at the moment is someone to talk to and cuddle with. I think the best way to get into one would be to hang out with people to have the same interests as you, eventually you're bound to meet someone who you like, and vice versa  ^_^
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: PossumDeMort on March 12, 2016, 11:49:24 AM
Indeed, y wife and i were brought  together  by video games and a small tv
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Proto Triose on March 12, 2016, 12:40:37 PM
The last person I was with left me after five years. Right when my store closed down, actually. In a midlife "sick of all this," I wrote my book. She left me because "I'm content, and that's not good." So if that wasn't just the winning breakup line. I'm leaving you because I'm happy. Never thought I'd hear that one. O.o


I'm doing extremely well for myself now, though. If anything, it pushed me to chase my dreams and do everything I can to make them a reality. I'm sure, one day, I'll find that special someone that I can (as Nutmeg said) sit and cuddle with over a movie.


Or, who am I kidding, over the ninetieth watching of Scribs. :P


I choose to believe there's someone out there for everyone, even if you never find them. If I don't ... what kind of a depressing world would that be?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on March 13, 2016, 04:00:34 AM
I've never been in a relationship before. To be honest, all I'd really want from one at the moment is someone to talk to and cuddle with. I think the best way to get into one would be to hang out with people to have the same interests as you, eventually you're bound to meet someone who you like, and vice versa  ^_^
As long as you find the right, laid back person for that, I think that you have the right point of view.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Clare Silvermist on March 13, 2016, 04:15:07 AM
I'm currently in an open relationship, and while others may think it's easier being in one, it isn't. Sure it means I Can give myself to more than just one person, as I am polyamorous and capable of loving more than just one person, but it does mean giving my time and love equally to each partner. Currently though, all my partners are male and all but one are interstate or over seas...So...a girlfriend would be very welcome into the mix..

A relationship,whether it is a love relationship, friendship, or family relationship requires lots of hard work and effort, especially with a love relationship, you need to have the utmost trust, honesty and respect. Without one you can't have the other two, and without them there is no love, no love means no relationship. You may as well just be friends with benefits, which is something I personally do not like or abide by.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: saph the sergal on March 13, 2016, 04:40:32 AM
im fresh out of one (not looking so dont ask please) it was messy of a sorts

he didnt like that im all the way in queensland and didnt want to move also didnt like that i want to travel aus by myself

i ended up ending it as the relentless move and i dont know what im doing on the road got to be to much for me and i couldnt take it
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Clare Silvermist on March 13, 2016, 04:44:49 AM
im fresh out of one (not looking so dont ask please) it was messy of a sorts

he didnt like that im all the way in queensland and didnt want to move also didnt like that i want to travel aus by myself

i ended up ending it as the relentless move and i dont know what im doing on the road got to be to much for me and i couldnt take it


Ouch, I've had partners like that before hun, sorry to hear you've had to go through all of that. my wife of 3 years left me after our fights got to the point where it was physical, but it was also the fact I found out she was cheating on me while she wasn't allowing me to do romance rps.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: saph the sergal on March 13, 2016, 04:51:31 AM
im fresh out of one (not looking so dont ask please) it was messy of a sorts

he didnt like that im all the way in queensland and didnt want to move also didnt like that i want to travel aus by myself

i ended up ending it as the relentless move and i dont know what im doing on the road got to be to much for me and i couldnt take it


Ouch, I've had partners like that before hun, sorry to hear you've had to go through all of that. my wife of 3 years left me after our fights got to the point where it was physical, but it was also the fact I found out she was cheating on me while she wasn't allowing me to do romance rps.


eh was bound to happen anyways

he kept trying to make me move and not let me follow what i want

thats
trains
my passion for swiming (gonna be a scuba diver soon  :D )
photography
and ofcourse
the place i live aus and wanting to trip and get out there
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rob_Silvermyst on March 15, 2016, 04:43:24 PM

Ouch, I've had partners like that before hun, sorry to hear you've had to go through all of that. my wife of 3 years left me after our fights got to the point where it was physical, but it was also the fact I found out she was cheating on me while she wasn't allowing me to do romance rps.
Ouch. It's bad enough to get into arguments, but when things get physically violent, that's just too far. And not letting you roleplay? She sounds like quite the controlling person. Good to see you got out of that mess.


As for me, still doing my searching for a mate to spend my life with and have a child or two with. Someone who enjoys going to renaissance fairs, enjoys video games, and of course, snuggling. Hard to find anyone local to me, not many single furs out in Connecticut. Might have to move out if I can find someone in the US.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Bricket on March 15, 2016, 04:47:58 PM
I am currently single,didn't ask for it but I became it.
Sure people say to get over her, but it still stings like hell.

But I guess that is the part of the game of life, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Makias on March 15, 2016, 09:11:32 PM
Im not looking at the moment either,  but I know that I'll find the right person eventually
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Epilogue on March 20, 2016, 03:31:37 PM
I'm in a very loving relationship with my mate Bailey.


We promised each other to wait five years before we would get engaged, because we figured that if we can stand each other for that long in a relationship that can end at literally any time, we'd be ready for marriage. Well our fifth anniversary is on May 30th. XD 


I only had one other relationship, and even though it was just in middle school, it was still extremely rough for me. I'd prefer not to talk about it further.





Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Juno on March 23, 2016, 03:54:28 AM
I've been in a relationship for a little while now and I live with my partner. I wouldn't have it any other way. Sure there are hard times but it's very much worth it. I don't know what I'd do without him
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Makias on March 23, 2016, 03:57:04 AM
I think I need to start looking for someone,  recently I've had the feeling like im missing something
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Clare Silvermist on March 25, 2016, 09:11:44 AM
Well...my live in bo..sorry now ex boyfriend have finally agreed to break up. We still live together but as close friends, no longer as partners... so..pretty much single again after nearly two years
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Pegu on March 25, 2016, 10:29:17 AM
In an relationship with my boyfriend - which itself does still sound crazy even to me after so long. If you've ever met me, you'd immediately know that I'm probably the most timid thing you've ever seen, I will barely talk to you in person if we just met, and that doesn't improve for several days; and yet I was the one who was able to work up the courage to ask a guy out. I don't regret it - coming up on the four year mark with him soon.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Proto Triose on March 25, 2016, 10:55:27 AM
This is for anyone that's single, and that includes me.

What's the issue, dear? Why are you holding back from such a man?
Is it the clumpy way he walks?
Or the grumpy way he talks?
Or the pear shaped square shaped weirdness of his feet?

And though we know he washes well
He always ends up sorta smelly
But you'll never meet a fella
Who's as sensitive and sweet!

So he's a bit of a fixer upper
So he's got a few flaws

Like his peculiar brain, dear
Or his thing with the reindeer
That's a little outside of natures laws

So he's a bit of a fixer upper
But this we're certain of!

You can fix this fixer upper up
With a little bit of love!


And always remember:

The only fixer upper fixer that can fix a fixer upper is

True true true true true love!

(That was fun. And I feel less lonely now. Huzzahs!)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on March 25, 2016, 10:58:46 AM
After being in two failed long-distance relationships (They were in America, while I am in Europe), I've decided, that I don't wanna be in any more long-distance if the distance is that far. I just couldn't take it, that we couldn't get to speak as much as I had hoped, and that we couldn't ever meet in person. Right now, I don't mind not being in a relationship at all, but I still have that little bit of me that misses being in one. I'll just wait and see what fate have in store for me.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: anoni on March 25, 2016, 11:07:10 AM
I have had three relationships in my past, they lasted 1 year, 2 years and 5 months respectively.

First one ended because I didn't believe we had the same idea about relationships.
Second one ended because of distance.
Third one ended because of a fundamental difference in terms of what we'd consider a healthy polyamarous relationship.

So right now I'm single, not really looking for anyone but we'll see what happens
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Nutmeg on March 25, 2016, 11:18:56 AM
So, I've recently fallen for someone, hard. I'd love nothing more than to tell him how I feel but, knowing me, I won't be able to pluck up the courage to tell him anytime soon. I'll just be there, admiring from a distance  X3
I do wonder what it's like being in a relationship though, I imagine it can get a little difficult at times especially when you start spending so much time together.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on March 25, 2016, 11:22:14 AM
So, I've recently fallen for someone, hard. I'd love nothing more than to tell him how I feel but, knowing me, I won't be able to pluck up the courage to tell him anytime soon. I'll just be there, admiring from a distance  X3
I do wonder what it's like being in a relationship though, I imagine it can get a little difficult at times especially when you start spending so much time together.


Well, it has it's ups and downs. When I look back at my relationships, I certainly didn't regret anything. I had some really great times with them. It was just when I had to end them, that it was pretty bad. But still, there are the times you talk a lot, and the times you don't talk as much, I guess. I tried talking to them every day, but sometimes, it just turned into a small conversation (mostly because of the distance, I suppose). But still, it's nothing to be afraid of :)
And don't worry about that guy. You just have to talk to him more, and I'm sure he'll like you back X3
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Proto Triose on March 25, 2016, 11:23:53 AM
(http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p555/botanicalpoison1/lawl_zpseefjgeoo.png) (http://s1155.photobucket.com/user/botanicalpoison1/media/lawl_zpseefjgeoo.png.html)

I'm just in a weird mood tonight. Always trying to cheer everyone up. X.x
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on March 25, 2016, 11:25:51 AM
That's actually a really great picture, and I try to live by it X3
... still, I end up just sitting in front of my computer, playing video games all day, and sometimes going outside (by myself) >.>
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Alistair on March 25, 2016, 11:45:41 AM
I've been in four serious relationships previous to my current one and two flukes. I've learned a lot about what I want and what I'll give. Admittedly I found my current mate online and it turned into something more about nine months later. Both of us were in a shitty situation and I was just getting out of mine so I thought I'd lend a hand in getting her out of her situation. She traveled all the way from Texas to Michigan, approximately 2,000 miles.


We get along well and always have polite disagreements. Albeit a little conflict from both of our families since they're all kinda assholes toward us. We both live in this little apartment and I'm happy in this relationship.


I have regrets with my past relationships, especially the first person I was ever in a relationship with. He beat me and kept me from seeing friends and family. There were often times he would block me from leaving his house when I would try to leave. I was with him for maybe two years before a friend came along and got me the **censor** out. But it turns out he was just trying to get in a relationship with me, and I did accept because I was still in the kind of soft shock stage.


All the second guy was after was a "picture perfect" relationship in which he would be served hand and foot. He broke up with me through text while I was in the hospital.


Next relationship was long distance with a girl. She was polyamorous while I'm personally monogamous, I ended up finding out she was cheating on me and sending explicit pictures to this guy and videos. I broke it off with her as soon as I found out.


After her I just kinda drifted for awhile, let myself ride out the motions of being on my own for a bit. Was nice until I started getting a little lonely. Met another girl online who turned out to be a guilt-tripping, manipulative, bitch. Instead of talking things out she would scream and yell and cry and not listen to what you would have to say. I broke from her and let myself go adrift again.


The girl I'm with now is cooperative, understanding, passionate; and willing to stick with me through the hard times. And the moment her and I met at the greyhound station was exhilarating. Its been about a month now in the apartment and things are going great, minor bumps have been had but its always expected.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Makias on March 25, 2016, 12:11:49 PM
Good for you Alistair!  ^_^

I recently started to have a crush on someone,  I just need to work up the courage to ask him out.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on March 25, 2016, 12:31:39 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your past, Alistar, but I'm happy to hear, you're in a healthy relationship now :)




Don't worry Makias. I'm sure you'll build up the courage someday. If you ever need advice, or anything, you can just ask me. Now, I don't know if I'm the best when it comes to that sort of advice, but I'm here for you :3


I feel kinda weird talking about relationships, and hearing about other people's relationships on here, actually. One part of me feels lonely, in that way, where you feel lonely after hearing about people's relationship, when you're single, youself. But another part of me doesn't really mind talking about it, and feels kinda good about being single. I guess I'm just in sort of a confused state right now, but I don't know.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Denimonster on March 27, 2016, 07:41:17 PM
I'm currently in an online relationship with my mate Ryan.
He lives in Britain but we've seen each other quite a handful of times. We've dated since early 2010, and though we've had our ups and downs, we've never had a serious argument.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Armalite_ on March 28, 2016, 07:37:07 AM
My gf lives about 40 minutes from me, its good and bad since I'm doing all the driving and she's doing a lot of bussing but it's a relationship that's been going strong since July 2014. We chill about 3-4 times a week and spend most of the time in bed together, eating, or chiling. Her parents are old school and never trust me with borrowing her for a whole night, despite me showering her with cool and expensive gifts and always returning her home when she needs to be. It was easier when they didn't know we were going out together >__>


My Ex's have been nightmares. My longest relationship was 4 years. I found that the emotional bond decreases with the more people I have relationships with. I think so much of my emotional/mental anguish that had been invested in so many relationships that went nowhere made me that way, but it keeps me safe from mental breakdowns if something were to split up me and my current mate.


She's not a furry and she's politically opposite to me and she doesn't like many of the things I do but she is equally intruiged and supportive of anything I put my mind to. I'm 2 years older than her and she never takes anything too seriously, which I always admired even when I was mad at her for something. I wish I was more like that. She taught me to laugh at things that I never found funny. Lame jokes and puns make her laugh which, in turn, makes me laugh. We argue sometimes but we always make up within the hour. She beats me to the apology.





Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Glacier on April 06, 2016, 02:47:06 AM
I've had a couple relationships before, but there's a trick. They've all been online.
Honestly I'm not proud of it and I wish I was braver IRL because honestly I can't stick to online relationships all my life. And if they work they can be really enjoyable. Sure, there's no physical contact or hugs or the like, but you can still feel the love in the air. (ohgoshwhatdidIjustsay)
Right now I'd like one just because I've been rather lonely going to a new school and having no good friends, but my past ones have scarred me to a point in which I don't know if it would be a wise decision.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Wolfie the Umbreon on April 14, 2016, 07:27:43 PM
Currently, I don't have any relationships with other people , but i'd like to, though i'm not really interested on it.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on April 14, 2016, 07:36:22 PM
Nix you might fall under the aromantic/asexual  spectrums. Also I'm realizing that I have zero interest and little compassion for most humans. As the days go on
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on April 14, 2016, 07:48:01 PM
Aromantic is not a sexual identity per say. But I'm just going to honestly drop it. You know if you need someone to talk to I'm always here for you. :)

Also sometimes some people have to be ready to love. Me on the other hand, I am incapable of that emotion.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: CrazyCat on April 15, 2016, 06:38:48 PM
I has a boyfriend nao =D
And he's a furry too

We both have pretty similar views, enjoy many of the same things and get along really well.

We talk to each other on Steam chat all the time, but we don't see each other too often even though we only live like half an hour away from each other. Neither of us own a car. However, we both go to this social group for young adults with autism, so that allows us to meet at least once a month. Though we pretty much have to act like friends in there. They're pretty strict about public displays of affection.
However, we got the opportunity to go out to watch a movie (Zootopia if you're wondering). So I'll see how that works out.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on April 15, 2016, 06:50:15 PM
Oh, I'm really happy to hear about your relationship, Crazy! It's always great hearing people get together, especially when they match so perfectly! ^_^
Even though you don't see each other much, I'm happy to hear you can still keep the relationship running like that! It's awesome that you're going to a movie together as well, have fun! :)




With me, I still have the same 'looks' on it, as I've had in a little while: If a girl lives too far away (in another country), I don't want a relationship. It doesn't have anything to do with me disliking other countries (which I don't), heck: The nicest girls I've ever met have been from other countries. It's just that the relationships I've had has both times ended up with me breaking it off, because I couldn't deal with the huge distance and time difference. I'm not interested in any girls around me either, and I sometimes feel a little lonely. I'm gonna attend a new school next year, though, and I hope to find someone that I'll be able to get together with there. I don't mind if I don't, but it would be nice if I did.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on April 15, 2016, 09:58:42 PM
I wish you luck Ulvus ^^ It sounds really corny, but you just have to be patient for that stuff.

I personally don't care for long distance relationships myself, either. It works for some people and that's great, but if I like someone I want to spend time with them in person you know? I only get to see my boyfriend twice a week at school and that still sometimes doesn't fee like enough time :P I want to try hanging out outside of school or go do something fun but he's usually a little busy with work and stuff.

 
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on April 15, 2016, 10:05:12 PM
Thank you, Amethyst! Yeah, I know I have to, and I actually don't really mind. I've been in relationships, so now I'm at least just not curious about how they are. Now, I just feel like I need to find the right person, and I believe I can do that. I'm in that weird stage right now, where I kiiiinda want a girlfriend, and I sometimes feel lonely, but at the same time, I don't really mind if I don't have one.


Well, whatever works for you is just great :)  And yeah, that's exactly how I feel as well. If I'm with someone, I need to be physically there with them. Oh, I can understand that. Two times a week may sound okay, but it may not sound like enough. Hang in there, though! You'll eventually find time to be with each other, and have a great time! ^_^
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on April 15, 2016, 10:17:59 PM
Thank you, Amethyst! Yeah, I know I have to, and I actually don't really mind. I've been in relationships, so now I'm at least just not curious about how they are. Now, I just feel like I need to find the right person, and I believe I can do that. I'm in that weird stage right now, where I kiiiinda want a girlfriend, and I sometimes feel lonely, but at the same time, I don't really mind if I don't have one.


Well, whatever works for you is just great :)  And yeah, that's exactly how I feel as well. If I'm with someone, I need to be physically there with them. Oh, I can understand that. Two times a week may sound okay, but it may not sound like enough. Hang in there, though! You'll eventually find time to be with each other, and have a great time! ^_^

I was in that stage for awhile too, or at least I take things a little more slowly than other people in  relationships XD I was a little lonely too (partly because I have few friends too, but hey) but personally I don't have much attraction towards most of the people around me either. I don't think I have high standards, just the type of people I like romantically are rare.. I got to know my boyfriend by a neat coincidence honestly ^^'

And yeah, we just need to come up with some stuff to do and plan around our schedules. We saw Deadpool a little while back and that was fun X3 It helps that we have interests in common(like to exercise, metal music, video games, etc.) so it shouldn't be too hard.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on April 15, 2016, 10:31:44 PM
I bet that stage will come to a lot of people, especially ones that have been in relationships before. Yeah, I don't have too many friends either, and the ones I have are mostly online. I hope to find more friends at my next school too, though. Yeah, I feel the same way. It's not like a potential partner has to be perfect for me, it's just rare that I find people I feel romantically attracted to. Especially when every other girl around me (at my age) spend their whole weekend partying, getting drunk, and... getting physical with other guys. That's just not what I'm interested in.


I'm sure you'll come up with something great, and have an awesome time with it. Oh, Deadpool is hilarious! X3  I'm happy to hear you share so many interests, you seem like you were really meant to meet X3
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Proto Triose on April 16, 2016, 06:00:56 AM
I have commented before, but I love reading all the positive talk and uplifting comments here. I think a relationship is life defining, more than many other things out there. It defines you in a way that siblings or friends just can't. That's mostly because you're opening yourself up to what's essentially a complete stranger, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. I know what few relationships I've had, they've all been no less than a year long, and every one of them has helped to make me who I am today.

Do I regret any of them? Absolutely not. I wouldn't be here, with all of you, if it wasn't for the decisions I've made, the people I've met, and the path I have walked. It sucks being alone, but I wouldn't trade where I am for anything. I firmly believe there is somefur out there for everyone. You have only to wait, and she or he will find you in the least likely of places and the least likely of ways.

A relationship is deeper and more meaningful than just sex. It's someone that completes you, like that missing puzzle piece you've looked for for years, but the damn cat knocked it under the tv stand and it's been los my for longer than you can remember. But finally you find it! It's someone that makes you more like yourself; a better version of yourself. Your support when things go wrong. Your cheer team when something great happens.

I don't know why I decided to comment a big long post here. I don't know if anyone even wants my long-winded opinion. It's not even advice, just observations. But ... To those that have found it, don't ever let it go. To those of us who haven't, never give up hope.

Love you all. <3
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Pegu on April 16, 2016, 09:20:22 AM
To those that have found it, don't ever let it go.




Live Wire has a rather heavy ball and chain around his ankle, so for me, he ain't goin' anywhere.  :3
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on April 16, 2016, 09:51:46 AM
I'm happy to hear about you and Live, Pegulsus! :)  I always love it so much when I hear other people have gotten together! Back when I had never had a girlfriend before, I always felt sad when someone I knew, or just someone on the forum told about their partner, or practised "PDA" on the threads. Well, slight "PDA" I suppose. Or just spoke kinda lovey-dubby together. I always felt sad, since I didn't have that myself. I felt lonely and slightly worthless. Then I got a girlfriend, and that only lasted for around a month. And not even a month later, I got another girlfriend. That also only lasted for a month, and here I am now. I don't mind hearing about other people's relationships now, since I've been in two myself now, and I know how it is. Now I'm just waiting for the right girl :)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Grovygrunge on April 16, 2016, 11:28:50 AM
So tempted to feign ignorance and start talking about how different psychological approaches think relationships are formed, starting with friendship for added semi off topicness.


I'm currently in a relationship which is going pretty great. We get along well and the guy is awesome and cuddly and all that jazz. We have a nice balance of being different enough to not bore each other and similar enough for it not to create a massive divide.


However I've noticed my approach to relationships and how I see them is not only uncommon but straight up controversial and offensive to some people for reasons which I don't fully understand. When my last partner found out about it, he freaked out and it eventually ended up with me getting sick of him creating arguments over nothing because he was upset about a part of my world view and decided the time for things to end had come.


I really don't see why the way I see human relationships, particularly romantic ones, is such a big deal. Now I practise letting people know at the start so they can freak out and decide to save both of us the hassle.





Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on April 16, 2016, 12:45:08 PM
Well, if you don't mind me asking, in what way do you see human relationships? Maybe you said it in your post, and I just couldn't make it out (sorry) but still, I'm kinda curious. It's fine if you don't wanna tell too.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Grovygrunge on April 16, 2016, 12:51:19 PM
I did not really mention how I see them.


I basically just see relationships as temporary, like everything else in life. They don't last forever, to claim they do is just cruel to your partner and to expect as such is cruel to yourself. They also aren't as "magical" as people say they are, there is no such thing as the one. There are 7 billion people on Earth, thousands upon thousands of those people are probably compatible with you.


That is not to say relationships aren't special. A relationship is sharing life with someone you've developed very close feelings for, that's something very special and meaningful. It's also no less special if you recognise it has to end someday, you just do with the relationship what you should do with the rest of life. Take it a day at a time and cherish each moment.


But according to some that view makes me an evil loveless bastard. Somehow...
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on April 16, 2016, 12:58:55 PM
Well, first off, it's your opinion. People might feel different about it, and they may think you're this "Evil loveless bastard", as you say, but it's your opinion. I don't really mind it. If you feel that way, well then you feel that way, and there's no way to change it. I, personally, kiiinda believe that there's that special one for everyone. I have my doubts, and I have my hopes, but the feeling is sorta there. Yes, there are a lot of people in this world, but I'm not saying only one of all those 7 billion is the one. I kinda believe that a lot of people can be considered the one for you. People are not perfect, but they shouldn't be either (at least in my opinion). I just think that you also sometimes have to be with a few people to figure out your "relationship preference" and then after that, you can find the one for you. A lot of people get bored of their partner after years of marriage, but a lot of others still love their each other until death. I find it kinda hard to believe that they weren't meant for each other, then. Still, that's just my opinion, and you have your own.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on April 16, 2016, 03:34:35 PM
Eh, I think it's alright if you see relationships that way, if you're open to others about what you think. Having broken up with someone before(twice...) I know that relationships can be temporal, especially if you have differences that are hard to make up. But I don't mind, I'll just take them as they come, including my current relationship.

As for 'the one', I don't believe there is only one other half for each person in the world. You'd never find them if that's the case X3 But still, out of 7 billion people there's going to be plenty that share my interests, worldview, etc. It's similar to friends when I think about it; the few I have now I really get along with and enjoy being with. Relationships are basically the same to me I guess, just with some romance ^^'

Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: CrazyCat on April 17, 2016, 10:17:33 PM
Sorry I didn't respond earlier, but thank you for the kind words Ulvus! I appreciate it!
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Proto Triose on April 18, 2016, 09:27:18 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC0u9OgDCdo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC0u9OgDCdo)

^ Truth bombs
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Clare Silvermist on April 19, 2016, 11:11:53 AM
Single now and probably going to stay single for a very, very long time...
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Detroit on April 19, 2016, 12:38:21 PM
i would say that i currently have a really strong relationship with my boyfriend hes just the most wonderful person in the world to me
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on May 04, 2016, 10:19:51 PM
I suddenly just began feeling kinda... well, weird in a way. I don't know how to describe it perfectly, but I kinda have a feeling like I miss being in love. And not having a girlfriend or anything, just having a crush in general. That feeling of butterflies in your stomach and everything. I just miss it, and it suddenly came to me. I hope I'll be able to find someone at my next school.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Dax Declan on May 04, 2016, 10:28:54 PM
Being in a relationship for me just gives my life a little more direction. When i was single if i ever got upset i had noone to go to. When youre in a relationship where you can share everything it feels like theres been the largest weight in the world lifted off your shoulders. It comes with a whole new world of stress and worries but the feeling of waking up after a nightmare and immediately telling your partner about it and getting a hug just makes it all worth it.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on May 04, 2016, 10:36:43 PM
Yeah, I get that, and I definitely felt a lot of it when I was in a relationship as well... except for the last part. See, that's the thing I missed, when I was in my relationships. I've been in two so far (I've told this many times before, but what the heck), and they've both been long distance, with no chance of meeting each other. I missed the closeness, the hugging, the kissing, everything like that. That was also the thing that made me break up both times. Therefore I've decided that if I'm ever gonna get a girlfriend again, she's gonna be close to where I live, or at least here in Denmark.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Jane on May 05, 2016, 12:01:08 AM
There's a lot you have to consider, especially if you've never been in a relationship before. You have to take into consideration that there will be bad times, you have to work them out. Being a stubborn person like myself I always seem to contradict myself on that one haha. In the end and at the end of the day its worth it though
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on May 05, 2016, 12:19:39 AM
Yeah, I know that feeling of emptiness. I've never had a ton of friends or partners so I'm used to relying on myself/being on my own but sometimes you just want to be able to share what you've been doing lately with someone, or hug a person, or anything else ^^'

I made a cat figurine for my boyfriend and he liked it so that was really nice. I'm usually broke so I find myself making things for people more often than buying stuff, but I guess that's not a bad thing X3 Though after the semester is over he'll be transferring to a different college. It's in the same town but it's still not as convenient as just hanging with him after classes ^^' Hopefully this summer we can plan more stuff to do. One sort of issue (if you can call it that) is that we're both pretty quiet people so we don't always communicate directly. It's not a problem so far but I'd like to try getting us to work on it a little.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on May 05, 2016, 12:56:07 AM
If my current "relationship" fails I will not be looking or be interested in any one at all as a partner, I don't see a need for that in my life. The only reason why its working with my mate is because we are best friends just on a deeper level, were both aromantic  for one but she can love, where as I can not.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Costas on May 05, 2016, 01:02:46 AM
I just ended a 6 year relationship recently and I thought I wouldn't be able to function since I was used to that companionship for so long... Funny thing is, I'm doing fine and it's given me time to figure out who I am and explore my hopes and dreams. I'm not in a rush to get romantically involved or seeking it because if it happens, it will happen on its own accord.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: jellyfishee on May 05, 2016, 01:48:07 AM
My boyfriend messaged me on facebook and I didn't read the message for like half a year.  Then when I read it and replied 6 months later, he still wanted to talk XD

We've been together almost 2 years now.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: HyenaKing on May 05, 2016, 02:37:42 AM
Wow that's absentmindedness at it's best.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on May 05, 2016, 03:11:00 AM
Heh :p I haven't actually friended my boyfriend on Facebook yet. I don't use mine much at all so I keep forgetting to do it. He also literally has ten times the amount of friends I have on there X3
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on May 05, 2016, 10:59:41 PM
Styxx, have you ever heard of queerplatonic relationships? That might be something you want to look into.

I'm probably being a bit ignorant, but isn't that kind of just friendship or having a companion?
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Armalite_ on May 06, 2016, 08:42:39 AM
Styxx, have you ever heard of queerplatonic relationships? That might be something you want to look into.

I'm probably being a bit ignorant, but isn't that kind of just friendship or having a companion?


I've never even heard of that but it's a good guess I'm assuming.


I just call my close friends my platonic heterosexual life mates :P my close gay friends would be my platonic homosexual life mates lol
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Vick Dastardly on May 06, 2016, 11:23:21 AM
I'm engaged

Sent from my Z812 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ron on May 18, 2016, 02:17:10 AM
Ah relationships. Wonderful when they work and wound full  when they don't. Been in two in my long years and while they where nice while they lasted I find myself not really caring to get into another really. All that work and investment being swiped off the table like so many card towers by an unruly kitten takes a lot out of you. But alas you can't enjoy the sweet rice crispy treats life has to offer if you don't risk getting burned by the stove. I say just be yourself and get out there. Some one will notice and if things go well what will be will be and what will not, Will not.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Kara on May 26, 2016, 09:24:22 PM
.... but I'm bi
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Detroit on May 26, 2016, 09:35:35 PM
*is pansexual* theres this really cute trans boy at my school and hes really funny...but i feel kinda bad cuz i already have a relationship with is a really good one so now i feel like a bad person
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on May 26, 2016, 10:52:03 PM
I'm probably being a bit ignorant, but isn't that kind of just friendship or having a companion?

Good thing I actually made notes about that...

A queerplatonic relationship is a deep emotional bond that goes beyond what people consider to be just friends. The commitment, intimacy and emotional bond is often comparable to that of a romantic relationship, but are not considered romantic to those involved. To the outside it can be seen as a close friendship, a romantic relationship or somewhere in-between. The people involved can see each other as partners, mates, a couple etc.

That's the definition I got out of it at least.

Interesting. I am however intrigued by the name... xD

The thing is, she loves me more then a deep connection. So on her side its a romantic relationship, she also finds my compassion as a way of showing me loving her. She put it in a way that makes sense to others but falls short like always to me. I see how you can see that on my side.


Edit: After doing some reading into this subject I can honestly say that you are right michen. You sir are a scholar and a gentleman. ^_^
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Styxx Von Doom on May 27, 2016, 05:14:17 AM
Guess I should lurk one the aro community my self my girlfriend even agrees and we don't like labels
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Sianni on May 28, 2016, 02:05:09 AM
I have never dated, I'm not pretty and I'm too quiet so people don't notice me.
And whenever I am flirted with by a man, I get too terrified to really say anything back.
I wouldn't mind seeing someone, it's just that I'm too dull. My life isn't going anywhere so I have decided to not even bother trying.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Bricket on May 28, 2016, 02:06:39 AM
I am in this relationship where I don't want to be in but yet: I am in one.

No idea how I am going to end it
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rob_Silvermyst on May 28, 2016, 06:09:44 AM
I have never dated, I'm not pretty and I'm too quiet so people don't notice me.
And whenever I am flirted with by a man, I get too terrified to really say anything back.
I wouldn't mind seeing someone, it's just that I'm too dull. My life isn't going anywhere so I have decided to not even bother trying.

I'm sort of in a similar boat. I'm too quiet for my own good. Last few relationships I was in, well, nice guys come in last because we get walked all over >.> So rather nervous about trying. Yet at the same time, that love and sense of completeness is something I want. So I have to keep trying.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: GilRiant83 on May 31, 2016, 07:38:32 PM
I keep getting in and out of really intense relationships. I have a knack for getting into trouble and usually when I date someone they get dragged into it with me and it ends up breaking off. I really like relationships and like being in them. Having someone there to give affection to and have it returned is amazing especially when it's this person who just magically appeared in your life one day to make everything better but then things can take a turn and the person you once would do anything for is the person you despise even looking at. I like relationships but I get a bit crazy in one. They'll make you do a lot of stupid things that you didn't even realize you were doing at the time. Some people don't like relationships and I don't blame them. It's a big confusing mess but if it's something you want it will come to you.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Molecular §hadow Ғox on May 31, 2016, 09:38:01 PM
Sure it's nice to have a lasting and meaningful relationship.  I myself was soured on the whole idea of relationships for a long time after moving countries and giving up everything for a girl.  Yes I missed the company and everything else, but it's not the be all end all of everything.  Luckily, I found my soulmate :3 and it'll be 4 years next year we've been together :3
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ambrix on May 31, 2016, 09:49:42 PM
After everything I went through as a child I don't think I could ever be in any kind of happy relationship with anyone, romantically or otherwise.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on June 02, 2016, 07:28:40 PM
So... it happened again: I feel really romantically alone right now, and I just don't know how to deal with it. I miss being with someone. Heck, I miss just being in love in general. I want to be able to be with someone without it ending a month later because of distance. I don't know if this is more relevant on the "Everyday vents" thread or here, but I just needed to get it out. I'm sick of my love life...
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Halei-Helai on June 05, 2016, 03:55:11 PM
After everything I went through as a child I don't think I could ever be in any kind of happy relationship with anyone, romantically or otherwise.


Neither did I, frankly. It happened anyway, and I am mega glad that it did. At the very least, always be open to a surprise or two.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: AleuLeLoup on June 05, 2016, 06:24:47 PM
I've been single for about a year now and quite frankly I hate it. I honestly hate myself because I feel like I **censor** up a potentially amazing relationship because I came out as trans to my boyfriend. Since then I have dated others but none have really "stuck". One guy pretty much used me for sex leading me to believe that we were going to be in a serious relationship at some point and another just decided to be single. I have one that I'm very much interested in dating but he is straight so it'll be another complicated mess if we ever do get involved. I also have another guy that I'm seeing but it's more of a hangout/dinner/cuddle-buddy more than anything.

I know it's not really recommended to "search" for someone but when you have pretty much no hobbies or involvement in activities it's really hard to just happen by someone.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rob_Silvermyst on June 06, 2016, 05:40:36 AM
After everything I went through as a child I don't think I could ever be in any kind of happy relationship with anyone, romantically or otherwise.
Time has a way to heal deep wounds, especially with the right person.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ryouko on June 07, 2016, 02:04:56 PM
My father won't let me date anyone, even if I wanted to. And if he did, he says it would have to be someone he knows.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rob_Silvermyst on June 07, 2016, 02:32:05 PM
My father won't let me date anyone, even if I wanted to. And if he did, he says it would have to be someone he knows.

Quite controlling. Sounds like a friend of mine from back in middle school, though she and her sister had a father that was overly controlling to the point of abusive. At least once you're on your own, you should be able to date whoever you want.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ryouko on June 07, 2016, 03:19:17 PM
He's not abusive, but he's very tough. It's for our safety, so I understand why.

No guy ever looks at me anyway, so it doesn't affect me much.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Makias on June 08, 2016, 02:21:42 AM
I still don't know how to ask someone out. hard to do when you're gay and living in a highly religious community. No one around here to date. Which is why im waiting until after I move to figure that out
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Ræfóa Aldrnari on June 09, 2016, 03:30:15 PM
Oh Jesus... I'm having one of those feeling-lonely-periods again. I really need to find a way to make them stop, since they're no good for me, and they only make me feel bad and alone. I don't know how to make them stop coming yet, but I hope I'll find a way soon.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Wildrose on June 25, 2016, 01:47:53 AM
My mate and I split up not too long ago. It really hurts and sucks because I still love her so much. And I think she feels the same too. But the unfortunate reality is that she's older than me and wants me to be able to do things and go places my parents won't let me. It hurts so much. But I have confidence that I'll find someone someday whether it be her again or someone new.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Jessie on June 27, 2016, 05:54:11 AM
I still don't know how to ask someone out. hard to do when you're gay and living in a highly religious community. No one around here to date. Which is why im waiting until after I move to figure that out


I know that feeling. I lived in a country where homosexuality was punishable by the DEATH PENALTY. But it'll be soo much easier when you leave. Hang in there,stand tall.

Also, a lot of ya'll seem unable to date because of parents -- I take it most of you live at home or are still in highschool? Aaah,parents and relationships don't mix...;)

I have happily found myself in a longterm relationship with a fantastic guy. It's been nearly four years now. We've stuck through the bad times and the good times, and I would do it all again. We recently decided a short while ago to make the relationship a little more polyamorous,so girls are back on the menu for me (I heavily prefer women over men as partners). All fun and games! 

Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: softail on June 29, 2016, 02:09:14 AM
I've never had any luck when it comes to relationships, so I just don't try anymore. It used to be a big deal to me, but I've learned to live with being alone so I don't really mind it anymore. Gives me more time to do what I want :)
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: ★Amethyst★ on June 29, 2016, 02:48:31 AM
I guess you could say I kind of moved out of my relationship with my boyfriend? To be honest it was more of a casual, unofficial relationship to begin with and I feel like I was more invested in it than he was. It's nice that we're still friends even though we've drifted a little apart, especially with schedules making it hard to find time to hang out.

But in other news, I guess I do have another relationship already...? There's a guy I saw around the ceramics studio at my school and thought he seemed kind of cool but was too shy to talk to him. I friended him on Facebook when college got out and I learned he was actually interested in me too. We've been hanging out and he's really great ^^' Also has a ton of similar interests in common, like video and tabletop games plus cosplay and fantasy stuff. He is kind of on the edge of my age range (8 years older or so) but he doesn't feel much older than me at all. I'll see how it develops from here, whether it becomes a true relationship or otherwise.
Title: Re: Relationships?
Post by: Rob_Silvermyst on June 29, 2016, 04:04:35 AM
He's not abusive, but he's very tough. It's for our safety, so I understand why.

No guy ever looks at me anyway, so it doesn't affect me much.
Well, I'm sure the guy who does look  will see something special.