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Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Nobi on March 15, 2014, 02:52:49 AM

Title: Reminded of how different I am
Post by: Nobi on March 15, 2014, 02:52:49 AM
So I’m sitting here in a room full of the Japanese students I’m supposed to be socializing/engaging with (since I volunteered with the program that requires me to do precisely that), and I just feel like I’m getting yet another reminder of how different I am from most people. They’re all playing music from their iPhones/iPads and singing along to it. It’s all pop. The only songs I’ve recognized so far have been ones that play every day at my work. Also “Baby” by Justin Bieber, “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO, and a handful of songs that are apparently from High School Musical.[/size]I tried showing them a happier-sounding song from a band I like—one that I know to be from Japan, even though they sing almost exclusively in English. I thought that they might at least find that interesting. The only response I got from any of them was a confirmation that it was definitely heavy metal. I stopped the song quite early; I could tell they weren’t thrilled.I thought about showing them some tamer Industrial music (read: no vocals, little distortion/noise, generally not scary-sounding) so I could perhaps demonstrate some dancing to them. But I couldn’t really find any songs in my iTunes that fit that description, so I didn’t.And they’re all always so well-dressed. I’m always either in dark jeans or army pants and a black T-shirt. I wish I could pull off half the outfits they do on a regular basis.I wish I could talk about interesting things. I wish more people liked the stuff I like. I know I make a big deal about how great and important it is to be unique and weird, but sometimes I really, seriously wish there were more people around who were similar to me. Because right now is just one of those times when I feel alone even though I’m surrounded by people.
Title: Re: Reminded of how different I am
Post by: BakaFawkes on March 15, 2014, 03:04:32 AM
Hmm, I would say "story of my life", but that would make this about me, so...  :)


Just do your own thing! I know it's quite opposite of your goal, but it seems like when a "loner" or "outsider" tries to join a group, he is shunned because he makes the group uncomfortable. Try (not too hard) being that cool guy, the one that kinda has his own style and that "intriguing" vibe. People will want to know more, because you've lured them with the right bait.


Oh, try finding out more about their types of music and devices, etc. The best way to get into a group is to learn what makes them a group. A Justin Bieber fan club will want Just Bieber playlists.  :D
Title: Re: Reminded of how different I am
Post by: Nobi on March 15, 2014, 03:19:15 AM
Well, it's not JUST that I like things that lots of people don't like. It's also that I so vehemently dislike things that most people like. Like Justin Bieber, and High School Musical, and LMFAO; I hate all of that stuff. I can't try to fit in with that sort of thing because it's all so disgusting to me.
Title: Re: Reminded of how different I am
Post by: anoni on March 15, 2014, 03:19:29 AM
Music tastes are different for everybody buddy, there is an extremely wide community (including myself) that like the music you like, so don't feel like you're the only one. *huggles*
Title: Re: Reminded of how different I am
Post by: Nobi on March 15, 2014, 03:20:55 AM
Thanks, Anoni. *hugs back* I just wish the other people who are like me were actually closer to me, geographically. >w<
Title: Re: Reminded of how different I am
Post by: anoni on March 15, 2014, 03:40:45 AM
I'm sure there are! Think about this.

You don't want to share your music with other people because you're worried that there is no one else that likes your music.

People who do like your music probably don't want to share their music with you because they're worried you wouldn't like their music.

There's probably lots of secret medal heads and so forth that are hiding in your circle of acquintances but you just haven't found them out yet. Either that or you need to explore more people and groups, there's probably some groups dedicated to listening to that sort of music, (good way to find them is concerts)
Title: Re: Reminded of how different I am
Post by: Nobi on March 15, 2014, 03:54:31 AM
I'm sure there are! Think about this.

You don't want to share your music with other people because you're worried that there is no one else that likes your music.

People who do like your music probably don't want to share their music with you because they're worried you wouldn't like their music.

There's probably lots of secret medal heads and so forth that are hiding in your circle of acquintances but you just haven't found them out yet. Either that or you need to explore more people and groups, there's probably some groups dedicated to listening to that sort of music, (good way to find them is concerts)

That's a good point, yeah. I often struggle to work up the courage to share stuff like that about myself, though. I've tried to locate Industrial dancers in Austin, but the only venue that plays that sort of music is this one club called Elysium, and they only have Industrial nights on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I have Wednesday evenings free, but I of course have to go to class the next day. And on Saturdays, I'm always at work until 10:00 pm and I often work on Sunday as well, so going to Elysium on a Saturday evening would also be very difficult. >w<
Title: Re: Reminded of how different I am
Post by: NautilusWolf on March 18, 2014, 03:00:57 AM
I feel a similar way. I'm what seems to be the only furry around in Louisiana, and likes heavy/thash/speed/etc metal. It's all rap and country. Where's the Metallica? The Korn? The Rob Zombie? WHERE'S MY METALLICA?!? I need to take a deep breath now... In... Out... Okay. I'm good. My advice is to be yourself (cliché ain't it?) in a way that's subtle. For example, I wear a Metallica shirt, and people say stuff like, "love the shirt." This is the moment you have learned you have a common interest (obviously) and you can build friendships upon that moment.
Title: Re: Reminded of how different I am
Post by: Twilight Rose on March 19, 2014, 05:41:47 AM
Agreeing with anoni and Haden. Be yourself on a subtle but noticeable level. Don't, say, proclaim the supremacy of metal, but with a bit of luck, and a degree of obviousness that you're into it, other loners and misfits will come from the cracks. Speaking from personal experience as the kid in high school into spirituality and other "weird" stuff. And an extra bit of advice: watch for little things. I met one of my best friends by complimenting her earrings, which I noticed were pentacles. Turned out she was Wiccan, and I had been looking into that at the time.