The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: ✡ on April 18, 2011, 09:45:42 PM
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I don't know about you guys, but I happen to be frightened to death of people in general. The very thought of meeting new people scares me to no end, and I always act extremely shy around people I don't know D: But when I get to know people I'm really nice and seem like I'm outgoing. I'm just really anxious in social situations.
For example, with all of my friends, I develop an obsessive fear that they don't like me/I'm annoying them by just being there. Same goes for you people on TFF, I always obsess over the fact that somebody might not like me :( I'm also extremely anxious about my appearance and I always fuss with it because I'm stressed that people are judging my looks and actions constantly...
I also can't handle social situations with some people at school, for instance:
today I was working on a project with some jocks (a group that I don't like and don't hang out with) and to start off with, they were being condescending and treating me like a little kid even though I was two bloody years older than them to begin with, and they were being pretty cruel to me because I'm in a different social group than them :/ . This triggered my anxiety and I do what I always do, shut down and act all quiet and let them have their cruel fun with me.
I just..I don't know, that was a drake rant :/
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I was diagnosed with social anxiety, self-esteem difficulties and poor social skills* caused by it, when I was... 15 I believe. I never received any treatment for it and I have never had a follow-up in the later years.
(* being alone as a child - no social development)
The only thing I can think of that could be of any help at all would be to go into the depth of things and look for the core. Try to figure out what scares you, use your logic and see that it's just you being somewhat paranoid. Don't even think that because you're nervous, you act weird and people won't like you. We all know shy people and we all have shy friends. It's normal and nothing to be frowned upon. If anything, they might be impressed if you come out more. If they are good friends, they'll be happy for you.
I still have a fright for public places but only when I am alone, but I have gotten a lot better by simply using logic.
You're smart, you'll figure it out. Literally.
At least that's my advice. :)
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I can tell what you mean, Drake.
You shouldn't feel afraid around people, normal, rational human beings usually aren't hostile and if they are then you just ignore them, you don't have to impress everyone, or make people like you, as long as you keep to yourself then I'm sure you'll be fine.
And you should'nt worry about anyone from TFF disliking you, there's no judgement here! :3
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I've just had so many negative experiences with other people that I think everyone's like that :(
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But that's not true, is it?
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I still have it somewhat, but I've been able to combat it over the years. It helps to remember that no one gets to please everyone, and that you probably remember your own trip ups as much more severe than others do, especially when it comes to the people who like you in the first place.
Here's to hoping you start winning the battle and meeting tons of new people. :D
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But that's not true, is it?
I suppose it's not completely true. but it is of the school I go to, we have tons of rich people there who think they're tons better than everyone else, being someone of lower income myself I often get snubbed and mistreated along with others.
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That is what they believe, true enough. But who says you have to live according to what those snobs believe in? I know it's a cheesy shrink thing to say but there's a reason why they ask questions like that.
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that's my problem, I obsessively seek validation from outside sources. see? I can play the psychology game too! :D
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Wee! White coats for everybody!
Well, I've told you what I can think of that might help. Can't do much more than support.
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Drake i know how you feel. Ecept instead of shutting down, i get nervous and say stupid things...
But dudem just know that im here for you, and i wont ever not like you. Okay? You're my friend, drake :)