The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: ✡ on January 05, 2011, 04:13:36 AM
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just a quick thought, why do we find telling others that we are furry be so tough/necessary? We treat it like an act of "coming out" like homosexuals do, though it doesn't seem nearly as necessary to do so.
Furry fandom is just a hobby, why is it important to tell others about your hobby like it's so important that others know? More importantly, why do we find it so hard to tell others? Is it some big embarrassment? Should we feel shame? Should we keep it secret for some reason?
okay I'm feeling really philosophical right now...
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people have a negative stereotype about furs, the episode from csi and others, that makes it seem like we're "bad." When we tell others, we're afraid they might reject us, and thus makes it hard for us to tell them, because we dont want to lose them as friends. Thats what its like for me anyway.
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Well, I think it's simply human nature to want to feel welcomed and wanted and with some of the ways that furries have been portrayed in the past it's no suprise that some people have a tougher time telling others then they should have to.
I prefer not to tell others unless it actually comes up in the conversation that way it appears more like a casual thing then something to be worried about
For example:
Person 1: Hey there
Person 2: Before we talk I need to let you know one thing
Person 1: Okay....
Person 2: I'M A FURRY!! THERE I SAID IT!!
Peson 1: 0_0
What seems more normal?
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I think it mostly depends on how "into" the fandom you are. Browsing furry art in your spare time and maybe chatting with other furs may not be as big of a deal as if you go out fursuiting every weekend and travel to furry conventions all over the place and have furry art wallpapering your house. It might not be a big deal if no one around you has heard of furries before and doesn't really care, but it might be a bigger deal to you if you're surrounded by people who are trolling and hating on the fandom all the time. Many kinds of people are "furry", but some make it a bigger part of their life than others.
Just depends on people's personal situations, really.
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Well, I think it's simply human nature to want to feel welcomed and wanted and with some of the ways that furries have been portrayed in the past it's no suprise that some people have a tougher time telling others then they should have to.
I prefer not to tell others unless it actually comes up in the conversation that way it appears more like a casual thing then something to be worried about
For example:
Person 1: Hey there
Person 2: Before we talk I need to let you know one thing
Person 1: Okay....
Person 2: I'M A FURRY!! THERE I SAID IT!!
Peson 1: 0_0
What seems more normal?
but I think that hobbies like the fandom are just a normal part of life, why is furryness more on people's radar then for example liking sports?
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Because people generally aren't teased or made fun of for liking sports. In our society, liking sports is usually considered a good and healthy thing. Furries are often seen as twisted and perverted... even when that may not be true.
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I just see so many similarites
sports people dress like sports players, have sports photos all over, go to sports cons (games I would guess?)
furries dress like furries, have furry pictures, go to furcons...
I guess I understand where you're coming from
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but I think that hobbies like the fandom are just a normal part of life, why is furryness more on people's radar then for example liking sports?
For most it's simply a hobby but for some it can turn into a fullscale lifestyle choice, the media tends to fours on such people and since so little is known about our relatively small fanbase many people will start making generalizations about the fandom because they didn't do the research because let's be honest, if someone did see something on T.V. like that they probably wouldn't go wasting their time searching about furries, they'd most likely take the show's word for it.
So my overall outlook on it is that even casual users will become somewhat uneasy about "Coming out" because they're afraid to be associated with the furries that are featured in the mainstream media.
The reason people with other hobbies usually have no problem with telling others is because a overall "Good" generalization has been adapted by the public eye.
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Drake those are two diffrent things, sports are in every society, and a general pass time, its universally accepted.
Just like with furs, picture a crossdresser, they may like it, they don't have to be totally perverted, but if you just go hey I'm a cross dresser you'll get a lot of looks, and you might want to tell someone your close to or something because they might go through you closet one time and be all like, "jeans, sports T, mini skirt, trip pants... WHAT THE HECK MINI SKIRT!!"
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I prefer not to tell others unless it actually comes up in the conversation that way it appears more like a casual thing then something to be worried about
I actually side a lot with this, I see no reason why I should make it a big deal. It's just like my sexuality. Only tell if it comes natural to the conversation. It kinda removes the taboo around it I feel. Instead of going "Guys, there's something I have to tell you" *serious face is serious*, you just mention it if asked as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Might come a little surprisingly at the second it happens but it will not be half as bad as if you act like you're gonna tell them you have cancer and Parkinson's combined.
And yeah I also think that it's more of a hobby for most people. Remember that news report last summer about the teenagers that swore they were wolves and wore little fake tails and howled and played around like that? Most act it out through the Internet because it's safe, easy, you have the freedom and it's all you need to act out that or those side(s) of your personality. I would sure love to attend a con (suited), at some point. I have said that for years even though being a furry is completely new to me right now. But I feel that I am a human with a furry side of me, not the other way around.
Wow, I should stop making forum posts when I just woke up...
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my friends always knew i liked animals and did nothing but draw them X3 so when i told them they were all "your furry?" and thats all
im still friends and i didnt change anything except some furjokes now and then but its fine
my dad was also cool with it, as long as it didnt get too 'over done' i donno what he means by that but if hes fine with that then...cool !
other people know im fur too and make fun of me, im always called weird before joining the fandom so it was nothing new to me and im not bothered by it.
I can see why it is hard sometimes for some people to in a way 'come out of the closet' to some people or it just pop up cause people are like children, very mean to thoughs that are different. Some go out of the way to make that person miserable all because there different.
I see furs attacking back with comments and kinda shake my head at the whole thing. If the person doen't like what some one is, why do you bother making drama trying to change there mind... its kinda a wait of time *i normally turn it into a joke some how, they go away faster*
Anyway back to the point. It shouldn't be so hard to tell your friends that you are fur, just dont go up to them and tell them and just leave >.> thats more of a shock.
Kinda just give them hints for a while (if you REALLY wanted them to know) and then talk about furries in a way and see what they think about them
I used talked about making fun of furries as they are weird or something (doesnt really think there weird) to see if they went along, if they did dont tell them, if they dont make fun of them with you, then consider telling them, thats how i broke the ice with dad.
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The way I see it (and I'm going to keep this short and sweet) it is a coming out, simply do to the fact that it is a part of who you are. Its your life and its a popular idea to have those close to you be knowledgable about you (otherwise they dont seem so close) and the reason its tough is because of the persom doing it. Most peoples big, negative reaction is in your head, and it usually doesent come out that way.
Heh.
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I agree with WZ , i dont like sports and according to some people thats "not normal" or what man doesn't like sports are what some people have said. i tell people iam a furry because iam proud of it even though its a hobby. the same thing with likening amine and manga but thats more "accepted " then beeing a furry. i would love to go to a fur con with some furrys but its still a hobby not going to get a fur suit for that, maybe just ears and a tail peace. the same with anime con the only thing is that i know some people that love amine too and will go ... they don't have cos play costumes and i dont ether ...sorry for rambling ... i guess the point iam trying to make here is
some people find it harder then other to tell people about the fandom because of the dam media and how it makes it look bad and how people are to lazy to look in to it and believe what they see on tv. the resin why i tell a lot of people and have it on my rl fb that iam a furry and a threian is because iam differnt and i dont like it when people think iam the same as every one else... and when i try to clear up the neagtive stuff about the fandom i hope that it will have an effect on people and when they hear something neagtive the will look it up, not just the fandom but every thing else as well.
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I'm new here, and I was noticing that - the way you compare it to coming out for gays. I was shocked when I realized that most of the ppl who were talking that way were NOT furverts - it seems like there is something they feel they would be ostracized for, even though they don't do anything remotely furrverted. There is nothing to explain to anybody. Even if you wear ears and a collar! Is it really such an issue? Maybe I've never cared what people think?
*off to read other responses*
*very curious*
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i where a collar when no one is around ... last time i wore one to school people lafughed at me.
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People will laugh at you because of the color of your hair, the size of your feet, to what you eat. People are stupid, either you have to suck it up, or let them win.
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just dont feed the trolls lol
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Short version: Because when the average person hears "furry" they either think of the sexual aspect of the fandom, or those who the media has labeled freaks because they actually feel they're more animal than human. That's why admitting your a furry feels akin to admitting you're gay.
Currently, the only person in my non internet life who knows I'm a furry is my gf, and she's wonderfully cool with it. I suspect she's at least slightly furry herself, though I highly doubt she'd call herself one. Besides her, there's only one other person who knows me by name that knows I'm a furry. I know my family, at best, wouldn't understand it, and I know one uncle who wouldn't accept it. He's called them freaks once before in my presence and I had to remind myself that he didn't know he was also talking about me. First time I've ever had to truly force myself to laugh along with someone.
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Wouldn't laughing along further condom the trolling? Just because someone isn't gay (or out) does not mean that they can not stand up for what is morally right.
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Wouldn't laughing along further condom the trolling? Just because someone isn't gay (or out) does not mean that they can not stand up for what is morally right.
Yeah, it was just such a spontaneous thing that I didn't have any sort of defense planned. It was about that 1000 Ways to Die story. Being an author, I am much better with the written word than the spoken word.
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theres also a csi and a my strange addiction that make the fandom look bad ... here no one cares that iam a furry or they are open minded .guess iam one of the " luck ones" that can say iam a furry and no one cares ... cant where my collar thought ( want to where it out in public rather then just when no one is around)
Post Merge: January 31, 2011, 09:59:11 PM
Wouldn't laughing along further condom the trolling? Just because someone isn't gay (or out) does not mean that they can not stand up for what is morally right.
Yeah, it was just such a spontaneous thing that I didn't have any sort of defense planned. It was about that 1000 Ways to Die story. Being an author, I am much better with the written word than the spoken word.
did you try telling him that's not what the fandom is about ?
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No. :( I know I should have in hindsight, but I just wasn't ready to bring it up.
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oh just say beeing a furry means
1 you like anthro
2 you have a fursona
3 you call your self a furry
4 you accept people for who they are and are open minded
( those 4 things make you a furry)
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Well, I certainly know that if the subject comes up again, I'll be ready to deal with it and defend the fandom. :)
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i don't beleive its necesarry myself
depending on how hardcore your fandom is there might be no reason, i mean if your just a fan of the shows and art but not one who loves to act or dress like one, then whats the point
however, if you are the latter hiding it like some little dirty secret makes it and you look bad
there are already too many people who think this is some kind of big fetish where all we do is getogether in groups with our suits and start yiffing!
I say the best policy is to be out and open with it, treat it as nothing mroe than a ravid fandom, thusly be out about and proud like a true rabid fan, and one day the stereotype will hopefully be put to the grave.
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few few furrys have fur suits( those are the ones that consider it a life style), i don't cant afford one. the fandom is a hobby for me and most furrys about 90%.
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I think its terrible that people get laughed at or treated negatively for anything, so its annoying when people are cruel to furs-- when in actual fact, they never even hurt anyone 95% of the time!! And its funny, because I always feel more comfortable being around people like furs because they're very accepting of everything.
Furries have a lot of reasons to hate the general public and they just don't. So... I find that wonderful. I'm a massive manga and anime fan (164 volumes of manga and counting), and i'm off to a con in august; and i saw the point on how otakus are more accepted nowadays, and I think that it'll get like that for furs one day too. Afterall, didn't people used to think gamers were creepy wierdos in the 80s? People don't like difference until its forced into their lives by the media and the economy...then everyone wants a slice.
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i agree with you... i have very few friends i know in rl and they are not furrys i would love to meet some in rl, i feel good when iam, on tff talking to other furrys. so thats why when i tell people iam furry, maybe they know some in rl.
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the reason its hard it that its NOT the norm...and most people dont like abnormal, it makes them uncomfortable or they feel your weird..strange..
so when you tell someone that your a furry..your risking this person rejecting you..thats what makes it hard
as for the "coming out" aspect, its very necissary for alot of people..for some its not just a hobby..its a LIFESTYLE.
and just like being homosexual..you want to be able to be yourself around others..not have to pretend to be normal
and often LIKE coming out of the closet...it can be a shock to people..
ive known a person to come out to her family that she is a fur and they kicked her out..saying she was "not there daughter anymore" and that she was a filthy animal **censor**.
and that if she wants to act like an animal, she can go live in the woods like one.
it CAN be a scary thing for people, not everyon is accepting of this fandom..its about as popular with the masses as homosexuality if you think about it
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i have it on my rl fb that iam a furry and no one says any thing . my friend is uncomfortable with it ... no one in the fandom thinks they are an animal. iam a thrian as well but thats different i fell like iam a wolf sole in a human body but i act human
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i have it on my rl fb that iam a furry and no one says any thing . my friend is uncomfortable with it ... no one in the fandom thinks they are an animal. iam a thrian as well but thats different i fell like iam a wolf sole in a human body but i act human
yes..but people dont understand that..WE do. cause we know what were talking about
ignorance is a ugly force. and it can breed alot of hate especialy in people that dont like "change" or "different"
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so you mean that furrys know that there human right? because i know that. even though iam a thrian i don't go around saying iam a " real" wolf although i believe my sole is .... people usually shut up about how we think where animals when i tell them we don't think like that or when i tell them iam a thrian i wonder why :?
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so you mean that furrys know that there human right? because i know that. even though iam a thrian i don't go around saying iam a " real" wolf although i believe my sole is .... people usually shut up about how we think where animals when i tell them we don't think like that or when i tell them iam a thrian i wonder why :?
alot of people feel that whatever there first formed opinion of something is..that its true.
like with alot of homophobes..they think what gay people do is sick, wrong, a sin, and they do it all out of some sick sinful desire. when in reality gay love is just like normal love in every way.
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a little metaliica help on being who you are
"Forever trust in who we are, and nothing else matters....
Life is our's we live it our way....
Never cared much for what they say, never cared for games they play, never cared for what they do, never cared for wha they "know" "
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@ tatter
i love metallic and that song kicks ass .... they have a song for every thing
@KaprikaAZ
i know people need to re form there opinion on every thing. for example iam trying to make my mom re think her opinion on sharks she thinks they are all should be killed off because they have attacked pepole be for ... -_-"
its a good thing they didnt know about the fandom, beacuse if they knew what csi said then they wont like it. when i told my friend i was a furry he was like are you sure you want to be a furry? then i said yeah...... why? then he told me about how we all yiff in fursits and i tryed telling him thats less then 5% for 95% of furrys just consider the fandom a hobby nothing else. tryed telling him it was a hobby for me he didnt want to lission and he h8s it when i say
FURRY PRIDE!!! or THRIAN PRIDE!!! (but that is different, thats a way of feeling not a choice )