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Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Bueller on September 16, 2009, 06:39:05 AM

Title: So happy yet so confused!!!
Post by: Bueller on September 16, 2009, 06:39:05 AM
Okay, so my best friend Andrew who I have had this huge crush on since I met him kept telling me that he really liked someone, so with a little bit of prodding I got him to tell me. And now we are going out! The only problem is that my whole family thinks I am straight. Sooo, I am going to have to stomach it all, but have already resolved that this will not be a "down low" relationship. If my family can't handle it then good for them. What worries me is that my sister is a huge homophobe, she loves me to death, but she was just raised against gay. How do I keep my relationship with both Andrew and my sister?
Title: Re: So happy yet so confused!!!
Post by: artimus on September 16, 2009, 07:08:19 AM
I'm gonna go ahead and assume that you're of high school age and therefore you live with your family.

First of all, I'd advise seriously against coming out. Personally, I think it's best for you guys  to keep it on the DL. I know, it sucks real hard that there are people that are all "people are gay...***." but, it is true. If you really, really don't want to though, and you really want to come out, then you're going to have to do it slowly. Test the water, maybe find out why specifically she hates gays so much and maybe change her mind before telling her anyway.

Good luck, my friend.
(http://www.thefurryforum.com/forums/Themes/WZSkin/images/warnwarn.gif) Foul Language.
Title: Re: So happy yet so confused!!!
Post by: Vee Katame: His Wolfy on September 16, 2009, 09:59:16 PM
She's your sister. She should accept you no matter what.
That aside, I would also recommend coming out slowly. Don't just blurt out "I'm gay!" or something like that. That would either totally catch them off guard and/or make them think it's a joke. And I'm sure that it wouldn't make you feel good at all if they didn't take you seriously.
So yeah, just do it slowly.
Title: Re: So happy yet so confused!!!
Post by: Bueller on September 16, 2009, 11:05:15 PM
Okay, I guess it will be a slow undertaking (and is bi not gay :P.) But I will take it all in stride, and if they don't accept me, then I guess everything will be okay.
Title: Re: So happy yet so confused!!!
Post by: Vee Katame: His Wolfy on September 16, 2009, 11:39:26 PM
That's why I said ""I'm gay!" or something like that", because I couldn't recall as to whether you were gay or bi.:P
Title: Re: So happy yet so confused!!!
Post by: Bueller on September 17, 2009, 10:07:56 AM
Yeah, so it was awesome. Even though we were only a hallway apart it felt like we were a universe away. We talked a lot, and this is the only thing I ever felt so sure about. I already talked to my best friend about it and even he is accepting and just told me "Dang, you could have told me before, what? You didn't trust me?"
Title: Re: So happy yet so confused!!!
Post by: Somebody on September 17, 2009, 05:10:53 PM
Quote from: Elk Ironfang on September 16, 2009, 11:05:15 PM
(and is bi not gay :P.)

Saying your Bi when your with the same sex in a relationship is semantics. it doesn't really matter, its almost like your trying to convince yourself otherwise. As for coming out if you plan on having any type of realistic relationship with this guy its best you let your parents known eventually. This way you can bring him over for Christmas and other such things, sucks to have to hide things
Title: Re: So happy yet so confused!!!
Post by: Bueller on September 20, 2009, 03:05:47 PM
Yeah, BUT I am still also attracted to girls, hence the label of "bi". I am actually telling my parents soon. I really don't think it will work out at first, but when they realize how serious I am then they will understand. All of my friends now know and accept it and my sister and uncle (not by blood) knows. Heck, it is even on my myspace xD