The Furry Forums
Creative Arts and Media => Creative Writing => Topic started by: Bruce on September 12, 2009, 05:26:13 AM
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I Don’t Care
Hey there,
Angel of my nightmare.
Savior in the dark.
A beacon shining in the night.
Where I can always find you.
Always shining, always caring.
Or are you temptation
Putting a leash on my neck?
I don’t care, as long as I’m with you.
You are Juliet in the morgue,
Silent sleeping, waiting for your Romeo.
But could that be me?
Would I give up everything?
Just to be near you?
Maybe, I’m not sure.
But I know one thing,
You are the angel in the dark.
Waiting for the morrow,
Or could that be me?
The sun is rising,
True light shines your face,
More brilliant than before.
A diamond of my life.
Or is it just a lie?
A devious fox.
I don’t care, as long as you are there.
Then I’m good.
Even if your the devil,
Using me for yourself.
I don’t care, as long as I’m with you.
I don’t care.
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Very nice poem.
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lovely poem I had that problem as well...and will continue to have for a will
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nice images
a bit too long, kinda dragged a bit. The last and first line could definitely be cut to give it more punch
also... the 'morrow? old english is a bit ... well there's no reason for it. i know some people who put it in their poems simply because that's the way they speak, but most people dont talk like that, and if you want to convey something to someone, dont use a different language, especially one connected to pretentious poets. The rest is generally fine with language, but "morrow" kinda ruins it.