The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Armalite_ on June 18, 2009, 03:05:52 AM
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Today seemed like a perfectly good day...until my mom decided to clean my room for me. That's when she found me stash of cigarettes and alcohol. I came home and this happened.
"Mark?" - mom
"Yes?" - me
"Do you smoke?" - mom
"No" - me
"Then what is all this?" *she holds up my all of my cigarette cases* -mom
"...Ok, I smoke." - me
my mom scolded me, I was yelled at. She called my dad, he scolded me, my brothers found out, they laughed at me. I was lectured several times.
"Why?" - mom
"Because I hate my life and I'm really ******* stressed!" - me
"Then play your guitar or something! We don't want you smoking!" - mom
"I honestly could not care less, mom" - me
"Well you should care! We're your parents!" - mom
"You're right, I should but I don't and probably never will." - me
They took all of my cigarettes, liquor bottles and my pride. I was grounded.
After that I really considered killing myself or leaving the house and taking the car altogether but that would make them cry so instead I sat in my room and forum posted all day in here.
And that's my story. I sure as **** don't feel better about it.
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Too many things I see wrong with this... One, you're way too young to even consider smoking or drinking by legal means. Two, if you live in their household, you abide by their rules. Three, stealing the car will not work if you intend to get away from them as you may attempt to try drinking or smoking again... and the state of mind you're in at this moment will only lead you into a life of hardship (or no life at all). Four, considering suicide is not the way to go as you have a long life ahead of you, there are opportunities for you to achieve out there. And lastly, you can live without drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco.
I've lived 24 years (approaching 25) of not touching tobacco or pressing an alcoholic beverage to my lips. If you need help in getting rid of those addictions, there are people who can help and options out there to help you.
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I'm in Canada. This means I can legally smoke and drink in designated areas, however, I am not allowed to legally purchase from a licensed dealer. Second, I've stated that I don't care what my parents say. When i said I was going to steal the car, I meant i wasn't going back home...ever, but I would return the car, eventually. Yes, this means I'd probably stay with a friend and continue my bad habits but I'm not stupid. I'd still go to school and all, but I'd be moving out. The reason I started smoking is because I needed a change. I was getting so unbelievably bored with my life, I didn't see any point in living. I replaced one problem with another. I don't want to kill myself, but omg does life ever suck so I pursue cheap thrills. I'm not addicted either (I know how this sounds). I need help? maybe... or maybe I just something that will convince me that there is something more to look forward to other than the end of the day. The same old routine for the past 16 years of my life. Relationship after relationship, summer after summer, year after year. I have my future lined up, it's looking pretty good, so are my grades, thing is...I don't find anything appealing anymore.
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just because your life is boring doesn't mean you should do bad things just for a change of pace. you might not know it now, but smoking and drinking is terrible for you, physically, socially and mentally. my friend (he was my boyfriend before this, one of my really good friends) went to Germany, where the drinking age is around 14, he was there for over a month, he was so different when he came back. we haven't been friends sense. the alcohol changed him, beer cans followed him when he got out of the car, he got new stoner friends (i hope mentioning stoner's isn't bad for the forums) and probably did drugs for a while too. he just changed, he wasn't fun to hang out with anymore. he seemed so much different.
i know that your thinking that 'that's one kid' hundreds of kids deal with this every day, they change, and if you ask them when they grow up (if they even get that far) they will say how much they regret doing that, doing drugs and alcohol and the like.
for something appealing try starting a new sport, a new club, a new group of friends? anything that is constructive. and talk to your parents, they may seem terrible now, but they gave birth to you, they have raised you for 16 years. driving you to where you needed to go, giving you a place to stay. being the people who congratulated you on a good grade or a new (not crazy) girl friend. also they probably were the people that were there for you when everything else around you was changing. they have always been your parents and they always will.
for not finding anything worth living for, well we can just talk at you all day till we all get carpal tunnel, but if you want to change your life the best idea is to talk to a shrink or your parents. it's your life, but anyone you talk to that knows at least a bit about you, will tell you not to waste all the work you put into your life by suicide, or by ruining your life with drugs and alcohol. especially your parents, they will probably stand by you through doctor's visits, or shrink visits. they are your parents and they always be. (now for my favorite quote in my life) friends come and go, but family is forever.
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hey... im 16... tried a ***... drink alcohol, not on too regular a basis and can see where your heading from....... i pine for you and seriously.... DONT COMMIT SUICIDE!..... i had a friend... last year... hung himself in the front room......WTF? me and my friends saw it as a waste of life and really miss him... im sure many would miss you..... i too have often gotten bored of life... however........ i find drawing and sketching and goin to my youth group a good outlet... although i myself have a slight adiction (pyromaniac, proven..) i cannot give you good advice and can only hope the best for you... spike.....
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I kinda know what you mean by life sucks. Sometimes, I feal like everything in life is meant to drive me insane. In gameshows, almost every time, the one person I don't want to win usually does. At home, I feal like everything I do is wrong. I can't do anything without being yelled at. At school, I used to get picked on all the time, and because of it, I had dark thoughts. ... But now that I have graduated, that's all done with.
But anyway, ciggarettes and alchahol aren't the answer. Simply put.
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They're not. You're right. However, smoking and drinking aren't the worst things I've ever done (I don't think I can talk about them in here but you know what I'm getting at). Hardcore drugs aren't my thing but I've been down that road for a very short while. I guess I could find some new friends, give it a shot I guess and talk to some people. I won't see a shrink (they upset me more than anything *facepalm*). In other words, I have essentially tried just about everything and really the only thing that give me my outlet are the things I know that will probably/most likely end up with me...not in the best of positions. I'm laying off the smoking for a while. I may have a drink every once in a while but not as much or as often. I don't know, but I'll see where things take me.
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hmmm... good to see your atitude has changed... at least for now..... look at life and see whether there really would be a point in ending it........ im sure there wouldnt.......
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there are many ways to help with stress without tabacco or alcohol. For me I mediate in my room, I light some bundled up sage and I listen to some Zen.
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I'm not really stressed. I only said that as a legit reply to my mom when she asked why. Really, what I am is just bored...to the MAX...with everything. It's been almost a week since my last smoke session and I must say...It's not that easy (yes, ok, I'm addicted). Meditation doesn't work for me either even though I've tried it...not my thing. Good suggestion otherwise.
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smoking is addicting I'll admit that, I have many friends that smoke, and one time I tried weed and I got high. I didn't like the feeling.
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Yeah, I know some people that don't like smoking weed. I haven't smoked weed in forever but when I did, I loved it. Sometimes it was good, other times it really sucked. This one time I thought I was dying and I had have my friend keep reminding me where I was and what I was doing. When we were driving, I thought the stop signs were people who instantly turned back into signs when I got close enough to check it out. THOSE were the good times. The first time I tried it, I was high and sitting in math class. It was the very first time I paid attention the whole class and actually understood EVERYTHING but the next day I completely forgot it all. It varies from person to person I guess.
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Keep in mind that there are minors around here, and that we don't advocate use of any drugs.
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Yes, I know. I was just sharing my input. I didn't mean to advocate the use of drugs. Sorry if there was any misunderstanding.
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Look, basically, you're going to hate me for my input.
As far as I look at it, you can't turn to drugs / alcohol / cigarettes for happiness because you're "BORED TO THE MAX" of your life. There are plenty of people who are bored of their life.. And if you don't like where you're at, get off you butt and change that. In the end, those things only give you temporary happiness, and once you come out of the haze.. Guess what? Back to your life. You just exchanged a bit of your health and cash to be numb and completely out of it for a little while. Was it really worth that? And will it be worth it a few years down the road when you develop an addiction because you find yourself depressed? Will it be worth it when you're willing to lie, cheat, and steal to get it? Will it be worth it when those things outweigh the important things in life? No.
I know right now you're in the phase where it's, "I'm not really addicted," and "that can't happen to me," but believe me.. It can and will. You need to just let go and grow up. Open your eyes and look at how it will affect others and stop being selfish. You've tried? Obviously not hard enough. You're going to have to go out of your comfort zone if you want to change.
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Keep in mind that there are minors around here, and that we don't advocate use of any drugs.
sorry Zepher.
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I'm with Vos and Rigor on this one. Your way to young to even consider drugs and alcohol as an alternative to your problems in life. You 16 you couldn't even begin to comprehend what real problems are, instead you take a cop out and do them thinking its the easy fix. Its easy to respect somebody who faces their problems without turning to such methods. I however have no respect to one that would rather bury their supposed problems in cigarettes and alcohol. No matter what it might feel like they only add to the problems, because even as you drown them they only persist.
Secondly you should have more respect for your parents, they are the ones they are gonna be there for you when everybody else turns on you. If you don't care what they feel about when it comes to their son's life, why should we even care about your problem. You have to give respect to receive it and I for one am not in the charity business.
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yep, tezz basically just said what i said, but much simplier. thank you.
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If you lived in the US, this new deal that Obama has made with the FDA should help a little. It will restrict the use of tobacco by controlling the amount of stuff in it and by removing mislabeled marketing.
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I'm not exactly sure where to start on this. I understand what you're saying. But it's because I haven't given you the whole story that you're getting a little thrown off. Now you're probably confused or thinking I'm extremely retarded...possibly both. The thing is, I respect my mom but I don't have respect for my dad because he doesn't have for respect me (So why would I respect him? huh?). Most of the time, he is a total ********. Every time I try to do something, it just isn't good enough for him. He isn't around much but when he is, he's always yelling at me, he thinks I'm a lazy, useless pile of **** who always ***** up. But I don't, I'm not and I know it. I love my parents but I would like some recognition and appreciation at least once without him making fun of me for something else. The last thing I need is someone telling me I don't try or don't try hard enough.
I feel isolated, backed into a corner, and that the only way to make my dad satisfied with me is if I was out of the picture entirely. He doesn't respect me when I try or when I fail or even offer support. Like you said, why should I care? This is the reason I feel like killing myself. I'm tired of it. He makes me feel so useless, I don't even want to bother with anything. I stopped doing things I enjoy because he made me feel as if I sucked at everything, so now I see that if this is how my life is going to be then **** it. I don’t know if you know what it feels like when your best is never good enough for your own father and the only thing that is keeping me alive is my mom and my friends. The smoking and drinking is my own problem but I don’t know if it’s because they give me a good feeling or if it’s because I find solace in the fact that it’ll eventually kill me that I continue. I respect those who respect me when I try and for when I do a good job. I respect my friends, my mom and even all of you for even replying.
Happy ******* father's day, dad.
Watch your use of language, bleeping it out does not excuse it.
~ Tezztor
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well i'm really sad to hear that spike....... i know how it feels to have someone put you down at every turn............. i really dont know how i can help you except keep posting here and trying to make you feel wanted..........
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Honestly, dude...like I don't want to talk about this any further but I'd still like to hear your thoughts about it. Thanks Cat.
Sorry, Tezz, I will.
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I'm not exactly sure where to start on this. I understand what you're saying. But it's because I haven't given you the whole story that you're getting a little thrown off. Now you're probably confused or thinking I'm extremely retarded...possibly both. The thing is, I respect my mom but I don't have respect for my dad because he doesn't have for respect me (So why would I respect him? huh?). Most of the time, he is a total ********. Every time I try to do something, it just isn't good enough for him. He isn't around much but when he is, he's always yelling at me, he thinks I'm a lazy, useless pile of **** who always ***** up. But I don't, I'm not and I know it. I love my parents but I would like some recognition and appreciation at least once without him making fun of me for something else. The last thing I need is someone telling me I don't try or don't try hard enough.
I feel isolated, backed into a corner, and that the only way to make my dad satisfied with me is if I was out of the picture entirely. He doesn't respect me when I try or when I fail or even offer support. Like you said, why should I care? This is the reason I feel like killing myself. I'm tired of it. He makes me feel so useless, I don't even want to bother with anything. I stopped doing things I enjoy because he made me feel as if I sucked at everything, so now I see that if this is how my life is going to be then **** it. I don’t know if you know what it feels like when your best is never good enough for your own father and the only thing that is keeping me alive is my mom and my friends. The smoking and drinking is my own problem but I don’t know if it’s because they give me a good feeling or if it’s because I find solace in the fact that it’ll eventually kill me that I continue. I respect those who respect me when I try and for when I do a good job. I respect my friends, my mom and even all of you for even replying.
Happy ******* father's day, dad.
Watch your use of language, bleeping it out does not excuse it.
~ Tezztor
Welcome to my world. Except unlike you, this applies with both my parents. And I fail to see where we've implied that we think you're retarded. The only thing I can tell you is that you're going to have to get over it. It's not easy, but if you don't, you're going to throw your life down the toilet. So if you don't care about your dad like you say, why are you gonna throw your life away for him?
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Your story is basically just like my mate's, except with him it's both his parents (like it is for Rigor), but his father is usually worse most of the time. Just the other night, his father started screaming about how much he hates him to his grandmother. That's quite horrible, if I do say so myself. Both of his parents never think anything he does is right or good enough. This isn't surprising though since (and I hate to stereotype but...) his parents are Chinese, and usually they expect absolute perfection...probably why they don't like me either (his father has gone a random tyrade about how much he hates me too to his cousin). That's not meant to be offending to anyone who is that race either, because I hate offending others and stereotyping.
But anyways, my mate had been considering suicide before too (came very close to commiting too), but he never did because he just became stronger from everything he has had to go through. When he was younger, he was always afraid to go home because his father used to hit him (until the principal of the school threatened to call Child Services). He has never smoked because of what he has to deal with and the only time he ever drinks is socially.
Really, you just need to push through all this and get stronger from it. Don't let it ruin your life. Don't let it break you.
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That's what my mom keeps telling me. She's Chinese and my dad's German...but my mom doesn't expect much from me or complain if I'm short of perfect. She might clap or smile when I get an 85% average or something when I try but my dad would only tell me to do better. For me that's like saying be taller or magically be smarter. My dad can't hit me now because I can over power him and out run him (he's 51 I think) and my mom would yell at him causing me to lol.