The Furry Forums
Creative Arts and Media => Creative Writing => Topic started by: Derricklesters2009 on May 16, 2009, 04:12:33 AM
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Not really the title but I think it would make an interesting suspense story.
Henry Glib passes through college like an aircraft through the sky. With speed, efficience, and ease. Henry, a scientific prodigy, buys a house while working in the field of medical research where he builds a laboratory that is concealed under the house.
A horrible accident causes his beloved pet to die and over the course of a few weeks he becomes an anthro. To his horror, his physical state never returns to human as he remains an anthro. Too ashamed of his failure, he holes himself up in the laboratory and conceals the entrance to the lab.
All of his friends assume he was dead and the police assume suicide. A family moves into the house years later where they are oblivious to Henry's presence under them. Henry's plan was to make a scientific breakthrough that was so extreme that people would look past his failure and his new physical state and be accepted by society. He takes a special interest in incurable diseases.
He over hears the family members speaking discretely about the father of the family having cancer and the mother recently developing cancer. Henry thinks, "Perfect! Test subjects!"
He proceeds to kidnap the family where he performs tests on them outside of moral boundry because of his deperate state of mind. He ends up killing all of them as he goes crazy when he find a cure. The father remains alive but harmed. Henry examines the father's brain tumors for weeks and watches it recede. He finally understands that his pain medication that created was causing the cancer to recede! He had cured cancer with a painless, daily shot.
He took it immediately to a united states government office in washington DC, after fighting off a large group of confused and wierded out witnesses of his anthropomorphism.
the secret service finds out what he has, a cure for cancer, an end for millions of dollars a year worth of government benefiting cancer treatment, so they release teams of men to kill him and destroy the cure for fear of losing money from losing cancer treatment.
It's a race against time as the portable freezer he keeps the drug in only has 72 hours, a run for his life as the secret service are out to him, and an expedition of determination to save all of the people who die from cancer.
What do you think?
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i think this seems like a good idea, i'd love to see turned into a story. it has much promise, but the main character turning mentally insase and doing imoral things, i don't know if your reader's will like the idea of a mentally unstable character for a good portion of the story, that's just my opinion tho, feel free to do what you wish.
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Well, the purpose of his "mentally unstable" state as you come to call it, is what causes him to be able to do such horrible things to another human without breakingdown or "Feeling bad" about it. These immoral actions are what lead to the discovery of the cure for cancer. This is the purpose for that.
If a rewrite is what the readers request then it shall be done!
[Whisper*] any ideas? [*Whisper]
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no i didn't want a re write or anything, i'm just throwin out ideas, and throwing in my own opinion, like when i pick up a story and i find that the main character is a bad person or immoral, i just put down the book, but again that is just my opinion.
further more, to be entirly honest short from your doctor jumping into a private practice and conivncing the guy in charge there, that this furry dude has a cure for a previously incurrable diease and the CIA is after him, i don't know how the doctor would make it, i mean, the CIA has nearly unlimited resourses, and this doctor will leave a trail mile wide because of his face, he really dosen't have much going for him. that's just my opinion, like add some outside friends who will help him, like his collage room mate that turned out to be the director of the best hospital
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I understand.
The government is after him and does have unlimited resources but the few members that want him silenced, also have to keep quiet. You know?
Only a group of government officials know about the cure for cancer and only a few know that Henry is the one carrying it. You see, not the entire CIA knows about the situation so the guys after him don't have ultimate power.
Would that be better?
Also, I planned on him having friends and people that were going to help him along the way! Thanks for the comment though!
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thats sounds a bit better, but still, i don't know how our doctor would be able to spread the cure, i'd definantly think that through very well, the CIA part sounds better, but the friends thing is still sketchy, i mean the doctor was presumed dead for 10 or so years. i don't know how he would have any friends if he spent 10 years in solitary confinement in a basement. (im just thinking logically, you don't have to listen to me, i'm just throwin out a few ideas.)
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I don't know about TEN years. Maybe five to six or something in that region.
Simple, he would look up his old friends and find them. They would be surprised to see him, VERY suprised, and it would take time for them to understand what was going on but they would undoubtedly help him in every way that they could.
To get the secret out, he has to tell the president. the president is someone that Henry believes would be on his side and someone he believes will protect him. Of course his assumptions are correct. The president of the united states is the person he has to talk to get the word out that the cure exists.
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i don't know how the doctor would meet the pres if part of teh CIA is out to get him, i mean it's their job to make sure no one gets to him with out their ok.
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Not ALL of the CIA is after him and actually it's the secret service's job to keep the prez safe. It's only a select few [of about 7 to 8] CIA members that are in on the currupt plan.
would that work?
Please! More questions! The feed back is making my storeh bettuh!
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ok the cia part works. i agree with you, but i still don't think your reader's will like the hero of the story (el doctor) doing immoral things like experimenting on humans like that, if the family knew about it, swore to secrecy, and was in with the doctor, then the doctor would seem more of a good guy.
another thing that might help is trying to get the doctor to the president, i mean, he's furry, i think it would be easy for a corrupt CIA dude to see him and take him down so he'd have to be an inconspicuous fur, or have a good disguise that looked inconspicuous.
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Realistically, the cure for cancer has not been found as a result of moral boundaries. Becuase he took them and went outside the moral boundries of humanity, he was able to find the cure.
We could make it for the better. We could make it to where he isn't trying to be selfish as in the original story. It could be that he has a father, who was a war hero who is dying young of cancer. His mother has already passed away and his younger brother might have it. Something like that.
He could have the mindset that the six [or so] humans that he'll sacrifice will be towards the future where humanity can thrive cancer free. He's trying to do the world a favor. He feels it is his duty to the planet or somehthing of that caliber.
Will that make him look like a better person?
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it kinda dosen't with me, i mean, if the family agreed to it then yes i'd think it would think he'd be a better person. but if he did it with out their consent, no way in my book, but that is my book. i mean, he experimented on them (in the story) it kinda makes him look really bad if he makes that choice for the family to give their lives away for experimentation. i mean no matter who anybody is, they really don't have the rite to do that kinda thing to people with out their consent.
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If you don't have weird experimentation, no one would have found anything, Terrier..
Don't be so rigid about such things. Science is about going where religion refuses to, delving into the deep unknown of the human body and finding things no one dreamed possible. Don't get me started, furball. I'll rip you a new one in less than three posts.
PMS episode concluded. Thank you and have a nice day.
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"If you don't have weird experimentation, no one would have found anything, Terrier.."
That's my reasoning, exactly. Without it the story is... well... pointless.
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and we wouldn't want that, would we?
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i didn't say no experimentation, i never said anything like that! i said "don't do it with out their consent" ok come on guys, how would you feel if a dude you thought was dead, was living in your basement, got up in the middle of the night, kidnapped you and ran tests on you with your consent. THAT is what i was saying. NOT "no experimentation". i hate it when people put words in my mouth.
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What we're trying to say is:
The kind of "Wierd" expirements are things that no one would consent to. They are far too frightening. The people would NEVER consent to such actions. It is the fact that Henry stepped out of his moral boundary to do the horrible things that he did that caused him to find the cure for cancer. He went to the extreme to find what he was looking for when science IRL is bound by Moral and legal obligation. Do you see now?
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i never was confused about what i saw. listen, do what you want with your story. i won't like it and will not read it if you have the doctor be immoral with the experimentations. I'm just saying and i was adding my input earlier in. I'm sick of people getting on my back about my opinions. I'm out of this thread.
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~waves~ see ya.
What else are you doing in the story, Derrick?
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Ah, conspiracies and twisted experiments never cease to amaze and interest me....amazing story Derrick
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Cool thing is that my film productions group might [and that is a BIG *might*] make this into a short film.
I wasn't sure whatelse to do with the story until today.
After he finds the cure, he goes and he finds a friend. An old friend, possibly a professor that used to teach him or something. This person is of high intelligence; thus, he doesn't flip out when he sees Henry for the first time. The professor, as he will be called for the time being, will remain composed. Henry has the professor look at the chemical composition of the liquid. The professor does some calculations in his head and basically agrees with him. The professor will be quirky, fun, intelligent and very likable. This will make an excellent sidekick to Henry for comedic effect. He will stick by Henry through most of the film. Henry goes to his parents to try and convince them to give him money and help. The CIA breaks into the house. Three agents hold the family of three up hostage. One who appears to be the leader demands the location of the cure. Henry explains to them, "This chemical that I have created, despite how seemingly irrational the actions of concoction may seem, has indeed proven to cure cancer!" The lead agent will reply, "I know."
Henry believes that the CIA is on his side but remains weary and anyone else kowing where it is. Not even the professor will know of it's location. The CIA agents will kidnap the professor and his parents and state, "If you do not hand over the cure for destruction, we will kill your parents and your freind, but we won't stop there. After them, we will find you and we will kill you. You have until [X time or day or something] to deliver it to us."
And now he tries to find more of his friends that he once knew, where he will break into the CIA, save his parents, save the professor, and get the word out to the POTUS that the cure for cancer has finally been found.
[I figured that if we brought the conflict inward and closer to home, via putting his family members in danger, it would cause a larger conflict and more feeling would be forced out of Henry. What do you guys think?]
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Very good. A master at such a young age, it's a rare site in this world.
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all I can say is that I agree, but I wonder if its a short or moderate length film....