The Furry Forums
Creative Arts and Media => Creative Writing => Topic started by: Somebody on November 09, 2008, 12:53:53 AM
-
Part 1 Here (http://www.thefurryforum.com/forums/index.php?topic=4741.0)
Part 2 Here (http://www.thefurryforum.com/forums/index.php?topic=4748.0)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sirens buzzed all around the room as raptors raced about preparing themselves for a hasty departure. "Warning, all military personal make their way to the emergency drop pods!" a artifical voice rung over the speakers. The ship was going to crash into the planet and the time was running short. The ship suffered no malfunction or damage, but rather only the whim of a broken leader wishing to bury the mistakes of his empire. Despite the air of alarm and haste in the room, a few figures stood calm around the center console, peering out the glass that covered the forward hull of the deck.
"Salissar! My friend..." the raptorian general shouted trying his best to command the Royal Alpha's attention, who instead seemed to be ignoring everybody. "Please you must get to the escape pods with us, the crash of the ship is imminent. Please my friend" An awkward silence came over the small bunch, which were very close to the point of being family.
Among them was General Sriliss Raptor, who was a miitary expert and led the entire military. The Giant golden armored dragon raptor known as Ghivar, blessed with the alpha's incredible power to protect their worlds. The lady raptor of the talon wing of the special forces herself, Kriless who was a particularly brutal huntress. And the admiral of the fleet Shertriss Raptor. All of them had great respect and would follow the Alpha to whatever end.
"My friends" the alpha finally spoke turning to them as flames overcame the glass as the ship began to enter the atmosphere. "I'm glad I get to be with such great company in my final moments. History couldn't asked for more devoted raptors. But alas we have failed to restore order, am I'm ordering you off the ship to help restore a better future for our species. I will remain, My failure must be punished." he said with a sorrowful heart. He was a great leader but deceit had crippled his rule. He took all the responsibility upon himself and no raptor would budge him off the ship. "I'm giving you a order, you must go now the time is short." All of them but the general and himself left the quarters. He gave the general a stern look. "Did you think me kidding old friend? You need to leave now!" he commanded
Sriliss ignored his order and took his place beside the alpha as the both stared out of the window at their impending doom. "We have known each other since we strayed from the nest, I'd like to go down with you my friend" he said putting his arm around Salissar. Suddenly he broke out laughing. which inspired a odd gaze from their lord.
"What could be so funny" Salissar asked
"Ah you remember when we were young" the general said barely containing himself, "On our first mating season, do you remember that raptoress that kept hitting on you?"
Salissar began to snicker, which exploded into full on laughter. "Yeah I was trying to forget. She was gigantic, she scared me so much. She was a vale raptor stuck in a mega raptor's body. She stood at least three feet over me and was built like a tank. Do you remember how mad she got when we'd hide from her? She nearly retired you early, you were in the clinic for a month for restabilization" he said over his laughter.
"Good times, but at least she didnt force me into mating." the general added poking fun at his friend's misfortune.
The two friends laughed and joked as land came closer, the glass on the front cracking from the pressure and heat. They both held on as long as they could against the onslaught of fire till white fire overtook them and the ship crashed in a brilliant explosion , is thunderous waves creating the hrellen valley. The ship never faultered and fell to its side, it was a monument to their crafting prowess
----------------------------------------------------
Two raptor eyes blinked as she jolted from her slumber, shaken by the sights of the crash in her dream. The night had fallen over them, the moons glow resounding off the metallic hull of the ship looming over her. "Where am I? she struggled to ask as she tried to sit up. Pain struck her and she laid back grimmacing. The massive electric shock left her wheeling and she wasn't sure how long she had been out. All she could remember was biting Tezztor because he scared her then auto turrets aiming at her before her world went black.
"Reirna! Your awake thank the serpent lord!" a friendly voice yelled off to her side. The voice belonged to Tezztor, who had stayed by her side watching over her. "My love, your alright? I can't tell you how scared I was when the ship attacked you. Its all my fault I should've never brought you inside." he said embracing her, tears falling from his eyes in relief. They kissed and rubbed their muzzles against each other, content to be alive and together. Though only together for little less then day, they shared a unbreakable bond. It wasn't uncommon for raptors to bond quickly and deeply, it was in their nature to spend most of their lives with only their mate. "Can I get you anything? Maybe some water or food?" he asked still overcome by the excitement of seeing her awake again.
"Yes please I'm starving." she asked, her voice still a little weak. She watched him get her food and water ready, moved that he had waited along side her the whole time she was out. She didn't really expect much less, as Tezztor was known for his devotion and loyalty to those he cared about. She considered herself lucky that she was being courted by him, and truly just wanted to skip the whole mess and accept him as hers but she knew it meant a lot to him. "So what happened to protecting me, Mr big tough raptor?" she joked trying to lighten things up a bit. He was noticeably tense but she laughed anyways, seeing him trying to hide his blushing.
The moonlight's glow seemed as if a giant candle for their romantic little picnic, the gentle breeze brushing across the plains was as if the world was trying to soothe them for a special moment. He held her close, nipping at her neck playfully as his arms squeezed her tightly. She laughed and teased, pretending she didn't like it but they both knew she wouldn't want to be anywhere else. "How did I get to be so lucky?" he asked as if his mind had gone numb and he really didn't know the answer. His sharp teeth found their way to the strap of her shirt and he tugged at it, giving off a jokingly depressive puff as if to say "Ah drat"
"Well, most of the other raptors were already paired, you were the only one left" she joked sharply. Not to be outdone in this little game of flirting she turned around and wrapped her legs around him and her arms around his neck, playing with the scales on it.
Despite such a show of affection her words induced such a sour response, but ended up in a laugh. He loved her sarcastic and intense sense of humor, it really suited her given her red coloring. "Well you could have had the birdman himself, maybe he could fly you off to some far away land of mystery!" he said bursting into laughter. His claws hads found their way down to her rear and he playfully squeezed.
She groaned as if still reeling from the pain and electric shock. "Maybe I need to lay down" she said faking a sorrowful tone as she got up and walked away from him. He stood up with a "You got to be kidding me" expression on his face. He respected her deeply and would never do anymore to her then she would allow, but she was teasing it wasn't fair. All was better when she flashed him a come on look, which he willingly obliged.
-
Great continuation Tezz! The background story coming in Reirna's dream was a brilliant idea, and shed some more light onto the whole story. Keep it up. :)
-
Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it. At least somebody read it.
-
It's very good. I like it a lot. Keep it up! I'll finish reading the first two when I have time. I start work tomorrow and school is killing me. What else is new, right? >.>
-
At least somebody read it.
I'm sure others have read it too, and if they haven't I'm sure they will Tezz.
I really like how this story has gone so far and I'm sure you'll do great in the future too.
-
Heh well, I love to write them they are the backstory of my character. Though incredibly shortened from the full version and it probably shows.
Honestly I wish more people would write stories of their characters. I dunno why I always find them fascinating
-
It is fascinating to get some more depth into others characters. It gives others more info about them and how they act.
-
Definitely, but not enough people utilize the writing section to tell their fursona's story. I would think of all things people would have stories for their fursona.
-
Yeah... Perhaps people just don't have the time or talent to write it although they have good ideas? I'm only guessing, but it might be a reason.
-
hey tezzor, great peice, it's cool to read this stuff, i think i'm gonna write a back story for my fursona (if i ever figure one out) lol nice job man, i can't wait for more
-
Hmm well theres no law on the forums that says you have to be a world class writer in order to share your passion about your fursona. I'm not exactly a great writer either I can barely even spell correctly. If furs would open up we could have some great discussion over them. I mean our fursonas are our gate to the furry world.
And I look forward to reading it Falcon. No rush though I always believe such a choice should be spirtual and meaningful to you.
-
Yeah, I'm sure there would be lots of discussion if more people started writing on a background story for their fursonas. And it would be very interesting to read about all of them.
-
ok i finished he basics of my back story, i'm bad at writing i rush the stroy too musch, i'm working on it, but it's slow going, any way its up, still i can't wait to see what happens next in ure story tezzor
-
Ok. Well now I gotta play the moderator and say. *Straightens up tie* We need to keep this thread on topic, that is the story at hand. Further discusion will have to take place in your thread
hehe, thanks for the comments, Ill post a new one eventually
-
Now I have a question that's on topic for ya this time Tezz. Why haven't you posted all of this story in a single thread instead of making a new one for each?
-
The sheer amount of time between them would be necroing. The last one I did was in june, it would look bad for a moderator to break the rules.
Ill be adding more story to this thread. And once Im done I might compile them into a single thread for ease of use.
-
Sounds like writing a background on a character would be cool, although there's the problem of writer's block striking. Ever-present as is. ^_~ Anyways, keep writing Tezz, I really like it!
-
Thanks broken, I will.
Writers block can kill at times. particularly when life becomes a rush
-
agreed. It really sucks when people depend on you for your inspiration/help with things; when you don't even realize it!
-
I like this, great intro, believable characters, and great descriptions. Just read part two, and I'm sure this will end up amazing.
-
Thank you I appreciate the read. Its a greatly shortened version of the full story, which I just edit and throw together most of it for story sake. The real thing is much longer. Also naturally I have to edit out such graphic things because of the forum rules. Unfortunately it leaves holes in places I want to protray emotion
-
Heh, I know the feeling, I've had to edit quite a few things in Raven's Hollow, so I'm with you on that one... Once you're done maybe you can send the full version to me? I'd really like to read ^.^
-
Maybe I will, who knows! :P I got a lot of drafting to do. Unlike your story Mine isnt as well plotted. As I wont be publishing it, its a personal story I wrote for my own needs.
-
Totally up to you :P Not my choice in the slightest.
And I'm not sure about publishing mine, I have a few things to think about before doing something like that...