The Furry Forums
Creative Arts and Media => Creative Writing => Topic started by: Somebody on November 01, 2008, 04:36:07 PM
-
Chapter 1 - The Beggining of the End
He looked up, sweat on his brow from a long day of working in the yard digging up stumps. The chill of fall has taken its hold over the air and the grass as turned to a dull tan, it was the perfect time for some yardwork. At first he would dig up the stump, then attach chains from it to his truck and pull it out. It was hard work for a solo man but he had none to help him, as he lived alone with only his sick mother to keep him company. He didn't mind it for the most part as it allowed him whatever privacy he required and generally he could not complain. After several hours he sighed content in his work, "Ah not so bad for one man if I do say so myself" he said outloud as if to praise his own deeds. The afternoon sun had given way to its journey over the horizon and he was hungry. It would be the same routine as any other day that week, quick shower then some left over spaghetti he had kept in the fridge before taking some time to relax. Only when he sat down at his computer did the real problems in his life become evident, he was utterly alone and it plagued him every moment his mind was at ease, tugging and tearing at his soul. Like a soldier he kept to his own appointed duty and readied himself for the social aspect of his private life.
He sat there browsing the web everynight waiting for her to log on, log a puppy awaiting its master's return. She was a fine girl of moral standing and tastes that rivaled his, but she was taken by another. "Hello, How is the day treating you?" he offer as his greeting, like clockwork. "Ok I guess, how about you?" she'd answer, again like clockwork. If they had not spoken at all they'd of known what the other was going to say. Onward for hours they exchanged words, shes often bring up what was going on in her lovelife and he would force a smile and say "I'm glad things are going so well for you, you truly deserve it all" He was miserable inside, his heart burned from the pain of wanting what could not be had. This would repeat night after night for weeks, and months on end. She braught him the greatest joy and the greatest pain he had ever known. Tears would fall from his eyes when she left, the pain of love built up over the hours of conversation.
"What do I do?" he asked his friends and family. "She means the world to me, but shes with this other guy. I want her to trust me and feel that I'm there for her, but its killing me inside." Truthfully they all answered and always it was not the simple solution his heart hoped it would be. "Just be there for her, you never know maybe it will work out for you in the end. Patience" they would tell him. The answer was something he never liked to hear, he wanted to proclaim his love for her now, his heart was practically bursting at the seams. "I guess" he would reply, only accepting their proposal half heartedly. He didn't really like the fact he had fallen in love with one already taken, he had never planned on it that way. She managed to break what was once a stubborn man, a cold heart and solitary person. He would only ever do what was best for him, play video games in spite of life. That all changed when she ignited that spark within, he changed dramatically. He began to be more considerate and kind, putting aside the game paddle and starting up a conversation instead. He thought of her constantly, often not being able to concentrate even when doing his favorite things. When he had his first dream of her he could deny it no longer, he was in love.
It kept going, this secret afair. "Hello, how is it going?" he'd ask her as he did a thousand times before. One night he was lucky enough and got to see her picture and hear her voice, he was invulnerable for a time feeling the greatest high he could imagine. Her voice was as soft and loveable to him as his own mother's and her image made him pinch himself, unsure he if had died and gone to heaven. While others might argue he was biased he didn't care, he loved everything about her she was truly meant for him. Days passed more and more and his heart darkened and he turned to despair, cursing his own name and wondering why god would torture him so. They got to the point where she would tell him their romantic exploits and it drove him to the breaking point, for several days he wouldn't talk to her. He'd sulk around all day and cry himself to sleep, his other friends completely unable to give him peace. One night he found himself sitting on the edge of his bed, a bullet in one hand and a .45 in the other. "I can never tell her how I feel, it would bring her discomfort and make her feel bad. It's better that I don't exist at all." he said, tears pouring out of his eyes as he stuck the barrel in his mouth. He never pulled the trigger, to broken to live and too much of a coward to die.
"Ok I guess, how are you doing?" she would ask him over chat. "Ok I suppose, I'm glad you had a good day you deserve nothing less" he add. They'd go on to talk about why he wasn't on and he'd come up with the wildest of excuses from sleeping at the wrong times to work calling him in early when in fact he was there all the time. "Is something wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything." she'd type in, giving reassurance as much as she could through letters and screen. "Just been hectic around here is all, I'm sorry I couldn't join you and your mate that night work has been rolling lately" he answered, lying with skills of a master roleplayer. In truth he didn't want to suffer a night with her being lovy dovy with her boyfriend, who he hated with a passion. He could never tell her how he really felt, he just sucked it up and took it like a man. He switched over chats to one of his friends and talked to him a bit about how he felt. "Why do you do this to yourself? Just tell her or tell her off" the friend said giving the best advice they could. He looked at the screen a moment before answering, "Because I'm a good friend, and a wonderful nobody"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1 of a mini story Im writing based on my emotions. This part of the story is actually real life experiances
-
Wow... Great job, Tezztor! That was beautiful... Full of emotion, pain, love... Wow... That was wonderful. I can't wait until you post more of that story.
-
Thank you, I will be posting more as I get them ironed out a bit
-
Ah, 'tis even more moving and heart wrenching then I thought it would be. As I said when you first told me of this, I am certain that this will be a truly masterful and emotion-invoking tale...and continue to vent it all out Tezz in whatever way you wish: be it to write, to talk with friends or any other method.
-
I really lay it on thick in the later chapters. Hopefully you will still like it by then
It is sort of a outlet for me, though what better way to write stories
-
Writing is an art form and art is an expression of your thoughts, your feelings and your very soul.
All good emotional writing is or was an outlet of some sort...that is my theory. I am sure that the layer chapters will be enjoyable, perhaps more so...
-
I can't wait until the next installments come out. I'm really looking forward to them. I feel sorry for you because, apparently this actually happened to you. But, I'm glad you found a way to let those feeling out.
-
Chapter 2 - The Unraveling
The months passed like days to him, everyday a new adventure in self control and the defiance of heeding his inner most desires. Sometimes he would ignore her and others he'd be on to play faithful to her every whim. It seemed to him he would never get the chance to tell her and it was slowly breaking him inside, dulling the man he was into a shadow of its former glory. She was growing no further apart from her mate but she did appear to enjoy his company, that was the only light of hope guiding him. It was growing closer to the winter and the air was very cooled and crisp, as much as any would expect from the clean carolina air anyways. The cold nights only drove home his inevitable loneliness, having nobody to hold and keep warm at night. His tears did little to drown his sorrows upon each morning when he'd wake up to the same empty half of the bed in his room. Shattering the silence we a beep on the computer, a message in the morning. "Who could possibly be messaging me at this hour?" he asked, but guessing it was one of his friends who regularly messaged him at all hours of the day. To his amazement it was her, and despite being half awake a moment ago he sprung to life with the ferver of a religious zealot.
"How are you doing today? I wasn't expecting you so early I'm glad I was up" he said with excitement, it was a breach of protocol for them. He hoped inside maybe something was wrong, maybe she broke up with the guy. It was a horrible thought for him to wish for such a event but it was only a thought. "I'm taking a trip to the beach near you! You should come over and hang out with us. Wouldn't that be great to finally meet each other in person." she messaged him with a certain enthusiasm. He was overjoyed, now he could finally meet her in person. But the thought in his mind was riddled with doubt over the "us" she had used. He wouldn't be able to act freely he'd feel tense and would have to wear a smile despite the pain he knew he would feel. It would be much harder then from behind a computer screen, at least there he could cry to his content and she'd never be the wiser. "That sounds like a good idea, I can take a day or two off and meet you there. I can't wait to see you" he replied, truer words never having been spoken when it came to wanting to see her. The trip was set into stone, it would be his chance to prove that he would always be there for her, and to make a up close impression of himself. For the remainder of the week he played out every scenario in his mind, laughing together in a club. Riding the beach ferris wheels by nightfall and walking the boardwalk as the sun set went down. He even allowed a few romantic flights of fancy to enter his mind which he knew, regretably wouldnt happen but he was so pumped up not a tear could find him.
The week could not of passed fast enough for his tastes but he managed and finally the big day came. The week was filled with firsts for him, such as buying new clothes and getting the best grooming he could find. He was never big on fashion but when it came to her everything mattered, he had to make the best first impression ever in the history of first impressions as his whole chance with her could depend on it. His brother had come over to take care of their mother while he was to be away as she was bed ridden and couldnt do things for herself. As he got ready to walk out the door after laying down emergency rules and the like he turned to her, a very solemn and worried look written on his face, "Pray for me mother, pray that I don't screw this up and do right by her. Pray that I have the strength to be the man I need to be" He forced a smile and walked out the door. It was a fairly boring trip of three or so hours to myrtle beach, but you couldn't prove to him that it didn't take days he was so excited and nervous. He pulled into the lot of the hotel they were staying at, she was to meet him out here and he honked the horn having not seen her anywhere in sight. "Ah well this makes it easier on me, shes late." he said with a sudden air of calm as he got out of the vehicle and leaned against it. He waited a good hour and a half before she finally showed up.
As the silvered rent a car pulled up next to him his heart jumped into his throat, and he felt like he was going to have a heart attack from the sheer anxiety wave that hit him like a ton of bricks. "Calm down Tezz calm down you can handle it, shes just a girl" he thought to himself as if giving himself a pep talk before the big game. His heart was racing within his chest, feeling as if it were about to brust from its seems and hit the side of her car. She finally got out of the vehicle and smiled at him and ran to him and gave him a big hug. The world stood still at that moment, birds seemed to halt in mid air and the wind ceased to pelt him. If he were to die at that moment he'd of had no regrets, he had in his arms the love of his life. "Hey there, you seem excited! Might wanna watch it don't want your mate to get the wrong idea" he said trying to play it cool, but really never wanting to let go. Finally the epic hug ended and the world returned to normal, but not lacking a minute long ackward silence bewteen the two. He looked about for a moment before finally saying. 'Where is the fool anyways?" She smiled and ran her fingers through her hair nervously as she spoke. "His work had a emergency so he wasn't able to make it unfortunately, but he was ok with me comming to meet you here and enjoy my weekend anyways." He wanted so badly to do a series of celebratory backflips but he managed to contain himself, barely. "Thats a shame I was hoping to meet him, but we will have a good time anyways right?" he said, lying about the former and thinking provocatively about the latter. It was all going according to plan, all he needed now was some bucket of water over his head to snap him out of his stupor.
Over the next few hours they took in the sights of the boardwalk, running through the sand of the beach and eating on a dock overlooking the waves. It was truly as close to heavenn as he could ever hope to get to. He wanted to badly to tell her how he felt, they were alone on the beach and nobody would be able to interfere. It would just be a rush of his feelings in her direction, but it never came he stood his ground firmly as a good friend. "You look absolutely beautiful, the pictures hardly do you justice" he said complimenting her, but not as much as he would truly like. In reality he would love nothing more then to compliment every bit of her being, making her feel as loved and appreciated as she would ever know. "Why thank you, your pretty handsome yourself. I dunno why you give yourself a hard time. Don't worry some girl will take notice eventually." she said smiling. She truly lit up any space she was in when she smiled, he was almost certain if she was at home with him she could cure his mother's cancer with that smile. They looked at each other for a moment, and in that space of time it seemed love had blossomed and the two would meld together as one. Instead the shook themselves out of it and walked the rest of the evening chatting and talking about every thing under the moon. He was overjoyed, he got to his his sunset walk on the boardwalk after all.
The two days passed quicker then he wanted, every moment with her was complete bliss but it was not to last. He hugged her again, kissing her on the cheek before closing the door on her rent a car, waving sadly as she drove away out of view. He had never got to do anything explicit with her, never gotten to say "I love you" or hold her closely, but he felt more love that moment then he ever had. "You did it Tezz, you made it through the whole weekend and never screwed up. She really is something isnt she?" he said softly to himself, so happy he almost came to tears. "Ah you big baby stop your crying, you just experianced heaven" he said outloud joking and poking fun at himself. He jumped in the car, having already packed and headed home. Along the way he sang songs and bopped his head to the various beats, he was on a love high and nothing could bring him down not even the reality that she wasn't really his. Upon arriving home he shared the whole story with his mother, his greatest friend and fan. "I wish you couldve seen us together, there was a moment when we locked eyes. If she had but asked I'd of given my soul for her"
The next day he logged into his messenger at the usual time, he was still in unusually high spirits. He browsed the boards waiting for her to show up as he always did. Thoughts of opening with a joke for a change flowed through his mind. But the hours passed and she didn't show up till twelve rolled around and he knew she wouldn't be on at all that night. It was nothing unusual she was gone for the weekend he was sure she just wanted to spend it with her mate, as much as he hated that thought. "Eh ah well maybe tomorrow" he said reassuring to himself. The next day came and it was still a no show, and this time a little less enthusiastically he reassured himself it was just a fluke and she'd be on the next night. But the nights flew by and turned into a week, and then another week. Before he knew it he hadn't spoke to her for a month. "Where could she be" he kept asking himself worried sick about her. Another two months went by before he finally heard a peep. It wasn't from her though it was from her boyfriend, claiming that she had never returned from the beach. "I know it was you, you sick fool! Your lucky the police are looking for you otherwise I'd get you myself. If I found out you did anything to her you will be a nobody after I'm done with you! You hear me a NOBODY!" As suddenly as the message appeared the messenger went dead and a banging was heard on the door.
To be continued...
-
Tezztor... That was amazing... I... I can't put it into words... It just wouldn't do it justice... Wow...
-
Thanks, I really appreciate it. This story is a work of passion really.
-
I read this last night and the ending reduced me to tears, for your writing was so powerful I believed (for a moment) that it was real and actually happening as I was reading...truly, that is a sign of brilliant writing! Mere words simply don't do it justice.
(Sorry I didn't review it when you posted it. I had enough time to read it, but not enough to comment)
-
Thanks for the comments, they mean a lot to me. I'm really happy with how the story is comming out. Hopefully the rest will be just as powerful
(And dont worry about it, I was really cutting it close yesterday)
-
Wow... That's absolutely amazing Tezz!
So much feeling in it that it brought tears into my eyes.
I'll eagerly wait to see how it progresses, because this is something that I simply couldn't miss reading.
-
Thank you for your comment, Im glad you enjoyed it. The next chapter should be out soon enough.
I hope it lives up to the hype.
-
I'm sure it will, my friend. It may even exceed the hype, like your last chapter did. :)
-
I hope so, but it wont be out today, spent the most of the day doing a art piece which I will put up soon.
-
*whistles*
Starts out nice and calm, if not a little bit panicked. The way you describe his feelings is phenominal, and that extended moment with the hug is beyond great.
That ending threw a curveball at me, gotta say... I can't wait for the next, consider me hooked :th_Pyong-1:
-
Thank you. Its really easy to describe feelings when they are real feelings you have for somebody I guess.
But I feel it is building up to a level of hype I can't possibly meet :P
-
As for hype, don't worry about it, hype tends to make somethings better at times. And I'm more than positive with the setup you have, the only way to let everybody down is to not make any more ^.^ Thankfully, there's not much hype for mine, so I'm pressureless for a bit
-
You story is great more people need to take the time and read it. Is yours pre written? To be honest unless you like sappy stories yours is better then mine. I should probabl space it out a bit to make it easier to read like yours is. maybe next chapter
To be honest I'm making mine up as I go :P Its part story part vent, but its comming out well.
-
yo tezz... this is a sick nasty story, it's great, wow thats a horrible understate ment, way to go man, i can't wait to read more
-
Thank you I appreciate it. Guess I better get a new one in soon before the replies drown it out hehe
-
Every story has a type, and you're great with the romance style this piece has going for it so far... And how I started most of mine was just a basic idea, but I let my own characters play it out like they were actual people. You do that very well I've noticed... And as for spacing things out, I think that would work amazingly well with the next chapter to make what happened before sound like it happened so fast he blinked and it was over. The contrast would take this through the roof ^.^
And as for mine, I've only got about 75 pages written out right now, and I'm still working on it. ^^;
And again, can't wait for more :P
-
75 pages O_O thats longer then my own fursona story which is now 49 pages long. Not often I hear that but if it becomes a book consider it part of my collection.
Right now your story is annoying as hell, having to wait for the next installment is like waiting week to week for new episodes of your favorite shows
Chapter 3 - Damned if you don't
He rocked back and forth as the police car charioted him torwards his fate, it had only been a week since he learned of her disappearance. It was the most miserable week he had known up until this point, the blades of realization stabbing at him each passing day when she didn't turn up. Though the sun shone brightly the world seemed pitch black, flavors did not exist and the birds failed to produce song. He felt as if he had cotton in his ears when the police officer ordered him out of the car, then chains on his legs paling in comparison to the bonds of love lost. It was a mere blink of an eye before the gavel slammed down, condemning him. A mere breathe had had been loosed before the cage closed shut, trapping him. But a eternity would pass before the realization would free him from his sorrowful and living nightmare.
"Why god? Why did you not take me instead? Why take the angel that gave nothing but light and hope? Your own sun that day on the beach fell beyond the horizon, ashamed of its lack of luster and brightness in her presance." he said to himself angrily, baring his own hands like claws before him as he sank to his knees.
A voice behid interupted him and a cold hand grabbed his shoulder. "Shut up you fool, you will get yours soon enough boy." The inmate proclaimed as he made kissing motions with his lips. "Let me guess" he continued in a hostile and provocative tone."You didnt do it." A laugh rang from a unkempt and rough face, all of it was as needles assaulting his eardrums. The massive frame of this inmate was intimidating as a charging rhino, and his voice was deep and commanding. He was sure whatever he did had to be brutally sick and twisted. "Face it boy you took her life didn't you? You tore the life from her very flesh with your bare hands. You probably even had your way with the little wench" the prisoner, known as 709 practically yelled in his face.
Overcome with anger he charged 709, a blind fury fueled by what little remained of his heart. He punched and kicked but it was of little use, the larger inmate seemed invulnerable. The punches were stopped as if hitting a concrete wall and his kicks only found stone. "Ah a fighter" 709 laughed as he struck him down with a single and unbelievably forceful blow. "Welcome to the block meat, we are gonna be the best of friends aren't we" he welcomed as he slammed the broken ones head into the ground repeatedly till the guards shown up.
Three weeks went by in another blink of his eyes, the amount of stitches usually reserved for a article of clothing sewn into his head. Despite the beating and all the horrors of his current life, no matter the yells of taunting or the blames of those who call him guilty all he could think of was her. "Ah her beautiful face, and her wonderful laugh" he thought to himself. He thought of that moment on the boardwalk, and suddenly the room melted away, the crimson skies of a epic sunset in the background set the scene. He saw her face looking at him, wind blowing through her hair causing it to dance to the tune of the waves crashing upon the shore. Words could not find his lips, and his arms could not move. Suddenly she seemed to be pulled away and the crimson skies turned a shade of blood. "Mr Merk, snap out of it. Mr Merk! Can you hear me!" he heard a voice calling, appearing to come out of her mouth as she drifted away.
Suddenly he found himself back in the infirmary at the prison, the wonderous visage replaced by foreboding, blackened walls and metal instruments. A tear krept down his cheek as his eyes found their way to the doctor. "Aside from headaches you should be fine to return to your sentence" the doctor said coldly, knowing only torment awaited the prisoner. Why should he feel any pity, he was suspected of kidnapping and possibly even murder. he lazily got of the table and made his way back to his cell under the chained escort of a few guards. It was akin to a dog, broken and beaten whimpering at the call of its master, faithful yet knowing the fist would come again to great him. Prisoner 709, the harbinger of reality and misery. There would be no happy endings for him.
Months passed like raindrops, each pounding a dreadful rythem into mud and grime that was his life. One week he dodged death at the hands of one gang, another week he was forcively loved by a anxious and heartless criminal of multiple convictions. What could they possibly care about, they were going to die in there and as far as they were concerned he would join them. What more could you take from a man when his body was broken and his soul torn asunder. When his greatest pride and his greatest joy were stolen away in a way he had no control over. It was the unknown reality of it that killed him, who had taken her and what happened? "Is she still alive?" he thought curled up in his bunk. "If she is I hope she has managed to find help and maybe even return to happiness" All he wanted was for her to smile, and be happy thats all he ever wanted.
Two more years had passed away, he had become a forgotten note in history class and a statisical imprint on a prison logbook. He was no more of a man then a hollow shell, a zombie like look on his face as he sat in a chair in the lounge. He had to pull a few prideless strings to get here before he was now able to read and watch TV. Books hardly soothed him and the words inside seemed hollow, a fictional love story of a guy pining for a womans love. "Cry me a river" he said softly to himself. A fellow prisoner made his way past and turned on the TV to the news, but it didn't phased him. That was until he heard a familiar name on the news.
"Tonight on the six o'clock news, a light on the tragedy nearly three years ago when a young virginian girl went missing. Amy Marlands body was found late last night washed ashore the coastline of Myrtle Beach in South Carolina. Her body was badly decomposed and forensics say she was dead for at least three weeks..." the reporter on the TV announced. He was overcome by a burst of despair and sorrow, the first emotion he had felt in a long time. No tears could fall down his cheeks anymore, he didnt have the strength to cry. "She suffered for that long..." he said to himself, placing the blame all on his actions as he burst out of the chair and started to thrash about. "If I didn't have that dang crush this might of never happened. Its all my fault!" he screamed like a raving loonatic.
A bunch of guards rush in to quell the situation, aside him a few other inmates suffering from herd mentality throwing stuff around and causing a fuss. "No! I wont go, I did this to her! Let go of me!" he yelled panicing and under extreme duress. The world around him seemed to move at a slow pace as if it was a movie stuck on slo mo. Not ten feet away a guard hit a prisoner with the handle of a pistol. To the side Another stood atop a table shaking his fists in the air. None of the carnage averted his eyes from the TV were his love's face resided. "....She was 26 and will be missed" the reporter added like some ironic insult to injury. Through the slowed time flux of massive adrenaline rushes, he caught glimpse of a unguarded pistol in its holster as the cop tried to subdue one of the prisoners.
In a act of almost supernatural strength, he broke free of two guard's grasp and bolted for the gun. "This is my only chance to make things right!" he yelled, his mind so lost to fury he wasn't sure if he thought it or said it but he didn't care. He grabbed a gun as a tear managed to finally break loose as his hand slipped around the pistol pulling it free. time that ran slowly nearly stopped and he put the pistol to his head. "By my sacrifice may she rest in peace!" he yelled as he pulled the trigger, the click of the hammer singing the only song he had the heart left to hear.
His eyes awoke, the wind was blowing and he found himself on a familiar boardwalk. The seagulls where flying and cawing , drowning out the distant sounds of chatter near a ferris wheel. He turned his head and there she was, smiling at him, talking about her crazy flight to the airport. He smiled back and took her hand as they made their way down the boardwalk. The serenity was overwhelming he almost wondered if it were true, but the question eluded him as he simply didn't care. She smiled at him and hit him on the arm, "Snap out of it, this is the good part." she insisted. He smiled back and wrapped his arm around her neck as they walked off, in true peace.
Back in the prison a ackward silence had befallen the room. How could this prisoner how just claimed his own life have a smile on his face. He was truly as peace now, free from the pains of love sickness but now enraveled by loves true grace. As he had asked for she was able to rest in peace, with him. He had never made his name in history, never set the world a flame with wonderous deeds. If they had only known the length of the road of loyalty and friendship he had traveled, they'd of thought him to be a wonderful nobody. But as his soul traversed the infinite void of the afterlife with his love at his side, he truly was a somebody.
The end
-
:">
Thanks again, but enough about my story, this is your place to shine!
-
The final chapter of my mini story is up, added it to the previous post.
-
A wonderful ending Tezz. A great story indeed.
He finally got what he wanted in death after living a life full of misery. It's truly magnificent.
-
I was gonna add a whole afterlife thing to it but I felt it had run its course
Im glad you liked it. it was fun venting and writing it
-
Yeah, I think it's good to leave it as is. There is no need to continue with the afterlife thing, even though it would certainly be great, but he got his happy ending and it's good with that.
-
Tezztor... That was... Utterly beautiful... Beyond words. I thank you for sharing this, it was an amazing story to read.
-
Thank you, it was a pleasure to write. I had to stretch my artistic ability with writing a bit to do it but it was fun. Its even more fun when people read it and enjoy it enough to comment and ect.
It is hard to write a emotional piece because you feel it all, but your reader might not. Do I care what happens to this guy? Is the question you gotta keep in mind when writing, and you gotta think of it from a third person kind of view. Im overjoyed everybody likes it so much.
-
I enjoyed reading it. I'd read it again too. It was a bit of a surprise when he offed himself, though...
-
Good, I was hoping it wasn't gonna be too obvious
-
Oh, I didn't mean it in a bad way, it just caught me off guard is all. I'm just glad the guy found peace.
-
Wow, talk about an ending...
-
thats very sad how it ended, very nice and well written, and the fact that they endend up togeather forever was grat, it was just sorta sad thet they both had to die... i reall have a european way of looking at death
-
that truly is a masterpiece, im actually blinking back tears because of the emotions i felt from it. congratulations, you have done what few have been able to do, and that is write a piece that moved me to tears...thanks, i guess it feels nice to cry sometimes. :D :th_PyongLlora:
-
Thank you for the comments, Im glad you liked the story. The whole first chapter was true story, and as bad as I can sometimes feel its easy to forget you can have it much worse. I was trying to portray some of that in all that mess
Even if you cant get the one you love, its important to be a good friend. Sometimes a good friend is just as important as one your with
EDIT : And for Gizor, thank you. Im moved that you felt such emotion from reading it. It must be a good piece after all (Thought Ill be lying to say I didnt have this paranoia where I think everybody is just being nice :P)
-
We're not being nice. We're being honest. This truly is a masterpiece...
-
Such overwhelming response, I truly do appreciate it. It inspires me to write more in the future. Though dont count on them all being sappy love stories like this
O:)
-
Devault is being nice and truthful, since they are one and the same right now
-
Given your third person nature, Devault might be telling the truth but how about the guy speaking of him? :P j/k
-
Words...words completely fail me Tezz. I cried at the beauty of the ending, of the brilliant description of his torture, of his despair and eventually, his peace.
This truly is a masterpiece, my friend. I was suspecting that ending (I tend to be good at spotting build-up to suicide), but that didn't spoil it...The ending reduced me to tears anyway,
-
Thanks, I really appreciate it. I cleaned up the story a bit and made a official document out of it, in case I wanted to post it to my site or other