The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: uhh on June 02, 2017, 03:55:20 AM
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*trigger warning -- abusive family matters and transphobia.*
Howdy. I'm not really sure how to open this but here it goes.
I'm a transgender male (meaning I was born biologically female but now identify as male). I pass extremely well, even with shaggy hair, and haven't really run into any issues with peers minus the occasional schoolyard bullying. But that's not the issue, it's my family.
My mother is pretty accepting, she has her moments where she's absolutely intolerable of my feelings but for the most part, she cares and strives to help me live my life as I should be. But my father, on the other hand, is horrible and here's where the story begins.
A few days ago, my mom comes home from our old house with a few boxes and my video games for our new apartment. She's visibly upset and since I'm a totally momma's boy, I fawn over her and hug her till she tells me what's up. My father is an unstable heavy drinker and abuser, he has a history of abusing both of us and going out of his way to ruin our lives. So my mom tells me what happened when she went over and it went like this -- my mom goes over and my father is very very drunk and starts basically ranting on how he wants to 'cure' me. A lot of his comments are very disturbing to me, even if I did hear them secondhand. It sounds a lot like he wants to rape me to 'cure' me from being a boy, or force me to work and beat me if I don't. He made many comments on kidnapping me to 'take me to my treatment' and freaked both me and my mom out. She's forbid me to see him (as if I wanted to ever) and pretty much said that if my father ever tries to take me anywhere, I run like I'm never ran before.
I'm not looking for pity or anything of the like. I really don't know what I'm looking for, but I haven't really discussed this and it's starting to feel heavy or whatever. I'm not in danger or anything but still, I'm bothered.
Thanks for reading.
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You have every right to be bothered. That is crazy. Stay safe and you may want to look into the police if behavior like that continues.
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Yeah, me and my mom have already talked about that. I don't have any qualms about doing so.
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I am glad to hear that. You seem to have good sense.
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Thank you. You too, I wasn't sure if the response I'd get from this would be negative or positive, but I'm glad you offered your paw (hand?).
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I'll keep my paws crossed that things get better for you ^_^
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No problem. I may not be able to relate, but I will always listen. I don't see that anyone reading this would think negatively of you.
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That sounds really horrible, does your dad have any ways of getting to you that you know of ?
Could you also post updates on this as well please ? Hoping you're safe in the meantime
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E-mail is the only way. He doesn't know our new address (nor do I have any intention of telling him) and I refuse to visit him or be anywhere near him.
As for updates, sure thing. Right now, I've not spoken with him or heard from him since the incident.
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I'm glad to hear that. I thought you lived in the same house as him. I am relieved that you do not.
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Nope, not anymore. We haven't lived together 'as a family' for about 3 years now.
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I'd set up some kind of safety protocol, or at least make sure the authorities are aware of the potential danger, even if the danger hadn't occurred. Set up a safehouse in case anything bad happens or you don't feel safe and you have to leave home to a place where your father can't find you.
Setting up protective measures is important, while i'm not sure anything bad will happen, it's better to be safe than sorry!
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Hello and I'm sorry to hear this. What I would do is have your mother to file a restraining order on him and KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, I cannot stress this enough! You are who you are and there is nothing wrong with that, your father needs "the cure" for his intolerance. If you have any and I mean ANY recording of your father saying those hurtful things, call the police about this before it escalates.
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That's crazy, I'm sorry you have to deal with family like that :(
If someone was threatening me with kidnapping and rape, Id have a loaded gun in my belt any time I go out. Family or not, your safety comes first. A restraining order is just a piece of paper, but be sure to make documented proof of your encounters with your dad and any threats he makes against you and your mom to police.
Be safe, be strong.