The Furry Forums

Creative Arts and Media => Creative Writing => Topic started by: Dazed on June 01, 2017, 04:35:59 AM

Title: Raptors writings
Post by: Dazed on June 01, 2017, 04:35:59 AM

Well hello there, person. You've got spare time? Want something to read and give feedback on?
Ye? Wonderful.
Then, please, read ahead. An excerpt from some writing I've done
Note this is a few months old at this point



The village was small, quaint. Technologically impaired, as so many others were.
The border towns were always like this. Behind, small, and occasionally troubled.
For these troubles, the Hill Guild's branch of Watchmen would send their specialists.
Such was why he was there. Over the last few weeks, all communication from the
village had ceased. A week of silence is common, but it had been two months of
silence. A week of silence happens due to breakdowns, but were oft attended to by
the assigned technician. Should more parts be needed, or a new technician, an
average of a couple days would be required to reach near settlements. A month of
silence was usually signs of an oncoming independence claim- Not an encouraged move,
but respected, but two months of silence means the worst. Death, banditry, or
other unpleasant things would of happened in such a case.
   He stepped away from the unit, small firearm in a holster on the left of
his hip. Dead silent, save for the surrounding woodlands. He was not used to the
environment, having come from a more arid desert, yet was pleased by the cool,
fresh air. Approaching the village center, merely a clear field located in the
middle of a small circle of seven houses, and the communications station. It was
eerie, an unnatural stillness about the town. Not a soul in sight.


Feedback pls thanks owo
Will update this occasionally.

Title: Re: Raptors writings
Post by: Malina on June 01, 2017, 08:10:15 AM

I think it looks really good so far!
Got a good set up of a mysterious story so far

(posting so I get updates ;) )

Title: Re: Raptors writings
Post by: Albie on June 02, 2017, 01:48:16 AM

Hm...This is nice.  You do good at putting down feeling.

Title: Re: Raptors writings
Post by: Dazed on July 01, 2017, 05:15:00 AM

Recently played wasteland 2, so pardon obvious post apoc vibes.


Just a shot, she said. One shot of the watered down swill and she'd get down to business. It always happened, without doubt. Her and alcohol got along well- too well. A short drink always turned into an extended drinking session, as shots turned to cups, and cups turned to bottle. All fine and well- her purse was fatter than the greasy little warden of the town, but the headaches, oh, dear, the headaches. Usually, she'd find a way to distract herself ftom it- To toying with her historian "tools" (which were, in reality neither tools not related to history. Odd mechanisms that spun, clanked, whidtled and world, but nothing more) or laying in bed, pretending to be dead.
But not today, not this day. Her mark- a wanted man, had strolled into town and challenged the warden. A pointless request, as the man was as cowardly as he was wide. So the mark took the next best thing- a Historian. She cringed as she realized she was now seen as one- a visit to the great ring changes how the common folk see you.


Got bored, wrote, decided to release a scrap. Have not slept in 2 days

Title: Re: Raptors writings
Post by: Dazed on July 21, 2017, 03:16:38 AM

Sirens Cry
The vast desert called to him, beckoning into the cold night. Shadows reaching and grabing at the edge of the fires light, trying to drag
him into the dark expanse. The siren song of the sand was a temptation few could resist, but he would do better. Treasures and adventure
were too small a price to pay for the freezing cold and the scorching hot. No one eever entered the expanse and returned to tell the tale,
save for the small few that woke up from their lustful stupor and realized there was no treasure, no hidden ocean. Just white sand and
bleached bones.
No, it wasnt just greed that drew these men he thought. Greeds pull is much more subtle, much more tame. What pulled at him now, as it
has many others before, was something greater, something more powerful than mere greed. He had no desire for wealth, and he never wanted
for anything, nor did he wish for a vast ocean- Water was abundant, if you knew where to look. Yet the desert still called to him,
whipsering sweet nothings through the air.
An uneasy nagging at the back of his head, like a guilty child ignoring their chores. Something more called for him, something far more
awesome than any mere treasure. Something dreadful, something aweful. Something that wormed its way into the minds of men and women,
turning them into to suicidal drones. He knew what awaited all life out there, yet the form was unknown. Exposure, starvation, dehydration?
Or, perhaps. something far more sinister- Something far more terrifying. These secrets, he thought, are known only by the dead.


Wrote under half an hour with no proofreading. Tear it apart pls

Title: Re: Raptors writings
Post by: Dazed on December 21, 2017, 10:28:03 PM

Here. Some sheiza that I wrote up while bored. Like the last one, criticize my lazy writing please.
This one isnt finished quite yet. At all. Still have to finish the draft.

WRITING PROMPT


3 hours to live, lost, and confused.


    The smell of wet asphault, the sound rubber tires on the road. Distant horns and voices lost in the clamouring of a city about to sleep.
A relatively normal rain, gray skys in the afternoon, puddles on the sidewalk and umbrellas drenched to protect their weilders. In the
alley, a stirring. A figure slowly rises, a feminine silloutte in the dim light from the street. Her mind is buzzing, trying to make sense
of her situations. One phrase rings in her mind- "Three hours to live."
   The rain didn't garner her attention, which was set on studying her enviroment. Nothing out of the ordinary for a city alley, save for a
bag. It struck her as important as she opened it and rifled through its contents. A timer, and a note. The timer read ten minutes, and the
note contained the same words that echoed in her head.

Title: Re: Raptors writings
Post by: Aveq on January 06, 2018, 02:44:14 PM

You can run these through me if you need. GCSEs made me a grammar bang-out so I can proofread.

Title: Re: Raptors writings
Post by: mjaupap on February 05, 2018, 06:59:49 PM

bud, your writing is diamond, it is cut-sharp in rhythm and build, it is playful and dripping but not like it wants me too feel anything more than I do. don't put yourself down, even in these small ways, okay? and please write longer and more and further

i really like Sirens Cry. it has that rare, spontaneous flow and it would be so much fun to find out what another half hour in this story would give