The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: BennyJackdaw on May 24, 2017, 10:45:33 PM
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I swear, I have this friend and I really like her. I like almost everything about her, including her kindness and love for animals. There's just one problem with her... she is about the most emotional person I know. Always seeing the glass half empty, she's always putting herself down. Even when she succeeds, she does it. And no matter how many times people try to motivate her, she continues to put herself down. Earlier I tried to use tough love to help her out, but I still don't know if that worked. I just wish there was something I could do... :(
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You just gotta be there and keep trying. For me, it took months of healing before I stopped putting myself down
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I have a friend just like her. The best you can do is be there for them and encourage them to do the things they like doing and show them that they're capable of building self-esteem.
Sometimes tough love works, but don't over do it. Especially because its easy to get fed up with their self-loathing.
Everyone grows up and with time and patience, they can build themselves up. You can only be the one to show them how.
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I'm bipolar and emotionally all over the place.
Question to both posters in this thread- are these your IRL friends or online?
Helping IRL is a lot easier. I have no IRL support. Try to be there IRL if you can.
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Low self-esteem is kinda common and sometimes lots of people have it. I think the important thing here is you cannot give her self-esteem, someone who has low self esteem will self-doubt all the time and having someone else saying that they're good generally won't cure the person of their self doubt.
Self esteem can be cured by self actualization usually, in order for one to see their own worth they must be happy with how they are in the world. And self actualization is something they must achieve on their own, though you can try to show them the way (if they do no budge though, there ay be little you can do!)
Getting into a sport, taking up a hobby, volunteering (maybe at an animal shelter?), these things can help a person feel like they're happy with themselves and can sometimes make them feel worth, making them have a higher self esteem.
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Question to both posters in this thread- are these your IRL friends or online?
I have no IRL friends. IRL is hell, but friends online were able to help me break though a lot of stuff
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She's an online friend. Like the above poster, I don't have much IRL friends.
I tried to help her find her happy place, telling her to go there and see if it helps.
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I was talking to Armalite too lol.
But yeah, unfortunately, online people can't help like IRL people can.
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For me, I find success in trying to find why they think that way. There is always a root cause. If you can find that cause, you can try to heal it. Also do not give willy nilly compliments. That is a natural reaction when people say that they are terrible. The common response is to say how good that person is. When you see in that much of a depression it is easy to think that people complimenting you are not sincere, but instead sarcastic.