The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Ori on February 11, 2017, 02:03:50 AM
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I often am a person that loves being left alone often. (Antisocial ftw.) It bugs me when people are up in my face all day long, despite it being kinda fun talking to people and stuff, when they're up with me all day it kinda makes me annoyed.
So with that being said, how do I tell people to please lay off without having to tell them that I am very antisocial. Like on the bus to college, I have to avoid two people now. One of them there's nothing I can do, cause they actually have a problem. Fine. But this other guy. He starts talking and as he speaks sometimes he needs to catch his breath and you can hear him breath in as he speaks :/ .
And my best friend, he's really excessively too like... obsessive. Put it this way, since we go to the same college, after classes we meet. We take the same bus home, and sometimes I would take another bus and I would tell him I gotta leave early. He takes the early bus with me x.x
As much as I want friends, it's a bit odd being spoken to, too much. Especially when it's just listening to the other person's banter and boasts (Seriously. Listening about my friend's computer or how beautiful and vivid Skyrim is, is NO fun to me. Especially for a person who loves pixel games and thinks that beauty means crap in games!) . IT doesn't help that, all DAY I'm with people. Having some time to myself is a must for me. (One of my parents are always home.) (I have a job where I'm with coworker all the time not to mention I'm dealing with people all day, and at college, well, never alone between having that one friend, and having two really talkative people on the bus, and just classes.)
So yeah I need help telling people to PLEASE Lay off for once.
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Hello there, Ori :)
It often helps when you have some sort of boundaries set up for yourself and follow them. When are moments generally you would be ok to have someone to talk to or someone talking to you? When are moments you want to be left alone?
For example, if there is no way you can avoid being alone on the bus (whether or not these people are on there), then you'd have to scrap that as a possible time you can be alone.
So get a general idea about 'socialand alone times', basically.
I feel you might be too open to talk to people as well and thus people miight have the impression you're open to be spoken to all the time (I had that :P).
When you want to have time to yourself, you can just mention that. You don't have to avoid saying it or yell it either. When people talk to you, you can politely ask them to leave you alone for now, as you would like to be left alone for a while. (E.g. "Hey 'name'! :) I really like talking with you, but I need some time for myself sometimes. Hope that's ok?")
If you notce they don't listen to you (they might not understand) or they leave you alone 100%, talk to them about it (just one-on-one, friend to friend) and say you like talking to/with them, you just never have time alone at any point in the day, so you sometimes need a break to regain energy.
If you're being communicative you also don't have to fear people thinking you're antisocial. It might take a while for people to get used to, but the important thing is you have to spend quite some time and energy in the beginning probably to get people to understand and keep following your request. Keep holding it firm and it should be in no time where you can more easily choose when to talk to people without it requiring energy/time at all :)
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x.x I might have that issue, where I'm too open to be spoken to.
Thank you for the advice I'll try that ^.^
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It's ok :P I had a feeling that was the case, I had that issue myself a lot in the past. The things your wrote seemed eerily similar x3 So if you ever want to just talk to someone about it, you can indeed post here or send me a PM, whatever you feel most comfortable with :)
Hope it works. And remember to try to stick to it, be consistent, yet communicative at the right times.