The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: DuctTape on July 14, 2016, 02:47:24 AM
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God, I really hate this being my second post, but I don't know what to do. Anyways, yesterday my parents searched through my computer and found this site in my search history. After looking through this site, they confronted me about being a furry. After admitting this, I began getting ridiculed by my parents and I don't know what to do about it. It's starting to get me depressed. Any advice on dealing with this?
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I'm afraid I don't have much advice to give, but you have my sympathies. I don't tell most of the people in my life I'm a furry either, not because there's anything wrong with it, but because most people don't understand. It seems people either think it's childish or that it's all about porn.
Can I ask how old you are, and what sorts of things your parents are saying?
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Ask them what's so wrong about it? I mean as a furry you have to have a bit of thick skin, so as long as they don't force you to quit being a furry just push on. As much as I want to say return the favor, you have to be the mature one and ignore them. Don't quit being a furry now, because people who act like that are in turn just going to keep being annoying. I really can't suggest anything but just staying away from them and keeping a pair of headphones on. If you isolate yourself you're harming your parents and now yourself. Maybe eventually they'll apologize. [Or they'll feel some guilt about it.]
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Make sure not to talk about anything furry related. Clear your browsing history from the beginning of time. Most, if not all browsers have an incognito/in private browsing mode that doesn't remember what sites you visit. Use it.
Or, you can do what I do. I bought a tablet off Craigslist for $40,,and I keep it hidden. I do all my furry stuff on it. Since it isn't really known, I can even download stuff secretly.
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Well œly irl person that knows is a friend and well he is chill and won't say it even if we do get mad but my parents threaten me with things like going through my history and drug tests they took my door can't be on past 10 but I am posting this at 3 in the morning so didn't work nore anything else. Ignlre them who needs them other than for food and shelter?
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I think avoiding the problem isn't going to get you anywhere. I understand if people want to avoid others finding out they're a furry, but that's also because a lot of people are terrified others have the wrong idea.
My personal experience?
Don't hide it, don't actively avoid it. If it comes up, it comes up, and deal with it in the appropriate manner.
In this case, it's no use deleting your browser history and whatever. They already saw it. For some reason they are making fun of you. Try to figure out why.
As said by John Red Beard, they might think it's something childish (or something else). Point is, what is most often the case: They don't know what it is.
You have the opportunity to actually speak up and tell them what it is. You have the chance to tell them what it means to you.
Why did you join this forum?
Why do you like furries?
Overall, in my case?
I like the artwork. I create artwork and like to look at artwork. I finally found a community (about 4 years ago) in which I can share my interests in. Expand my imagination. Being able to draw weird creatures. Getting inspired from this fandom. This forum is how I was able to get into all of that.
I always was drawing, always drawing fantasy creatures. I found the fandom, and thus was able to express myself better and share my interests.
You could always say the same thing. In general, the furry fandom is a huge platform for art and artists, people who like art in general. So you could always use the same explanation that you just like the artwork.
You can always share some images as well to show what you mean, or mention movie examples (like The Lion King, and things like that).
I don't know, hope this helps :)
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My father dealt with rather... maturely [gags as I hate to compliment own father.] He asked me what kind of forum I was going to this 'furry forums' [our computers are close so sometimes he sees it.] and I told him basically it's a site where everyone likes half human half animal things [I told him cons and stuff exist as well. I didn't go as far as tell him there are fur suits and it kinda started as a fetish]. And he kinda shrugged it off as he said well if it connects you with people. [And of course thanks to all the furry art I do my art skills increased.] If you can find something that furries help you do, put that out there and maybe your parents will also leave it be.
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I'm kind of surprised your parents even know what furries are. Was it just this site in your browsing history or were there others too?
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I'm afraid I don't have much advice to give, but you have my sympathies. I don't tell most of the people in my life I'm a furry either, not because there's anything wrong with it, but because most people don't understand. It seems people either think it's childish or that it's all about porn.
Can I ask how old you are, and what sorts of things your parents are saying?
I am 15. My parents say stuff such as furfag, say I am perverted, and question my mindset. I know its a lot for just being a furry, but they have openly admitted to believing to thinking furries only about the porn. I personally don't get involved with that.
Post Merge: July 15, 2016, 12:49:30 AM
I'm kind of surprised your parents even know what furries are. Was it just this site in your browsing history or were there others too?
This isn't only this site, but it is what started this mess. They've seen stuff I look at such as art on DA or maps on youtube before. They found out about furries because of someone who wore a fursuit in my neighborhood and they were appalled by them.
Post Merge: July 15, 2016, 01:11:38 AM
My father dealt with rather... maturely [gags as I hate to compliment own father.] He asked me what kind of forum I was going to this 'furry forums' [our computers are close so sometimes he sees it.] and I told him basically it's a site where everyone likes half human half animal things [I told him cons and stuff exist as well. I didn't go as far as tell him there are fur suits and it kinda started as a fetish]. And he kinda shrugged it off as he said well if it connects you with people. [And of course thanks to all the furry art I do my art skills increased.] If you can find something that furries help you do, put that out there and maybe your parents will also leave it be.
I have tried to put stuff out, but there is always something stopping me. It could be my parents not liking what I write to me saving it with the wrong extension. Just recently I finished a ~ 8 chapter story based on fursonas me and a friend made, but instead of saving as a .txt it was saved as a .pdmod. I will take your advice to heart though. Thank you very much.
Post Merge: July 15, 2016, 01:18:16 AM
Ask them what's so wrong about it? I mean as a furry you have to have a bit of thick skin, so as long as they don't force you to quit being a furry just push on. As much as I want to say return the favor, you have to be the mature one and ignore them. Don't quit being a furry now, because people who act like that are in turn just going to keep being annoying. I really can't suggest anything but just staying away from them and keeping a pair of headphones on. If you isolate yourself you're harming your parents and now yourself. Maybe eventually they'll apologize. [Or they'll feel some guilt about it.]
Thank you. It's hard to tune them out though. Even if I play something like slipknot on max volume, they find a way to get to me. It usually consists of playing the guilt trip card or not making diner. I will see if it works if I try to isolate my self longer than I have before.
Post Merge: July 15, 2016, 01:21:06 AM
Well œly irl person that knows is a friend and well he is chill and won't say it even if we do get mad but my parents threaten me with things like going through my history and drug tests they took my door can't be on past 10 but I am posting this at 3 in the morning so didn't work nore anything else. Ignlre them who needs them other than for food and shelter?
You are correct, but the sad thing about my case is that they take away whatever meal happens when I ignore them and threaten to take away shelter. Thanks though.
Post Merge: July 15, 2016, 01:26:24 AM
I think avoiding the problem isn't going to get you anywhere. I understand if people want to avoid others finding out they're a furry, but that's also because a lot of people are terrified others have the wrong idea.
My personal experience?
Don't hide it, don't actively avoid it. If it comes up, it comes up, and deal with it in the appropriate manner.
In this case, it's no use deleting your browser history and whatever. They already saw it. For some reason they are making fun of you. Try to figure out why.
As said by John Red Beard, they might think it's something childish (or something else). Point is, what is most often the case: They don't know what it is.
You have the opportunity to actually speak up and tell them what it is. You have the chance to tell them what it means to you.
Why did you join this forum?
Why do you like furries?
Overall, in my case?
I like the artwork. I create artwork and like to look at artwork. I finally found a community (about 4 years ago) in which I can share my interests in. Expand my imagination. Being able to draw weird creatures. Getting inspired from this fandom. This forum is how I was able to get into all of that.
I always was drawing, always drawing fantasy creatures. I found the fandom, and thus was able to express myself better and share my interests.
You could always say the same thing. In general, the furry fandom is a huge platform for art and artists, people who like art in general. So you could always use the same explanation that you just like the artwork.
You can always share some images as well to show what you mean, or mention movie examples (like The Lion King, and things like that).
I don't know, hope this helps :)
Ah, that makes sense. If I get the chance to sit them down and talk about it. However, they never want to talk about it after they insult me. Maybe this time will be better. Thank you.
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I am 15. My parents say stuff such as furfag, say I am perverted, and question my mindset. I know its a lot for just being a furry, but they have openly admitted to believing to thinking furries only about the porn. I personally don't get involved with that.
Ugh. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about parents talking to their child that way. And to threaten to not feed you or kick you out of the house at 15? Disgusting.
It sounds to me like they're probably not willing to listen to reason, but obviously you know them best. If you think they might be willing to reconsider their preconceived notions, I'm sure we can find some good examples of non-erotic furry art and fiction you could show them to help make your case.
If you think they won't listen though, or just don't care, then it's probably best to just keep your head down and wait for it to blow over. You won't be living with them forever (even though it feels like forever).
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I am 15. My parents say stuff such as furfag, say I am perverted, and question my mindset. I know its a lot for just being a furry, but they have openly admitted to believing to thinking furries only about the porn. I personally don't get involved with that.
Ugh. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about parents talking to their child that way. And to threaten to not feed you or kick you out of the house at 15? Disgusting.
It sounds to me like they're probably not willing to listen to reason, but obviously you know them best. If you think they might be willing to reconsider their preconceived notions, I'm sure we can find some good examples of non-erotic furry art and fiction you could show them to help make your case.
If you think they won't listen though, or just don't care, then it's probably best to just keep your head down and wait for it to blow over. You won't be living with them forever (even though it feels like forever).
Tonight is the night that I see if they will listen. Over the past 30 minutes I've compiled some are by people such as Russian Scourge and LupisVulpes. As for fiction, I am still looking for that. If you can help the search for some, it would be appreciated.
Post Merge: July 15, 2016, 05:24:15 PM
Well sadly, the stuff I gathered was not enough. I do want to thank you all for the advice. It is much appreciated.
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It's been a few days since we've heard from you. I'm concerned. Are you okay?