The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Furry Freezer => Topic started by: Proto Triose on April 25, 2016, 03:42:30 PM
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So I don't know if this has been posted, I didn't see it. But I thought it might be fun, and the idea came to me from "Ask and Answer." However, it's more along the lines of asking a child's question. "Why is the sky blue?" Or "Why do worms live underground?" And you explain it. Very. Very. Poorly.
Like "the sky is blue because way back when there were dinosaurs and the world was still deciding what to be, a young dinosaur spilled paint all over. Some dropped off the edge of the world, and as the dome of the sky turned it dropped all over and painted everything blue up there.
So. Let's see if this is fun or if it's already been done, ay?
Why do birds sing in the morning?
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birds singing is actually them screaming because they are afraid of hights
how does Santa travel the world in one night
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I wanna play, darn, but... I hope I'm doing this right xD
I suck at these kind of games, but I always like to play along.
All grandfathers are descendants of Santa Claus, and he sends them all out to do his bidding.
Why is the moon sometimes visible and not other times or only partially?
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Because the moon suffers from several eating disorders. Sometimes its anorexic other times its fat
Why do dogs sniff each others butts
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Lol, grandfathers. I love it! You're absolutely doing it right!
Well, you see, the moon is a celestial stalker. It's stalking the sun around the sky, and when it's full, that's when you see it peek it's head out to get a better look and it's safe. Partial moon is it timidly coming out to -see- if it's safe, and when it's not visible, that means the space police are looking for him.
I'm leaving this one, but it's my fault I didn't see the second one. So here's that one too! Double whammy!
We have to check to make sure that there are no evil spirits there, because they block natural processes. Have to make sure our friends don't die from evil spirits making them sick, you know?!
Why are clouds in the sky sometimes, but not at others? (Easter answered this one, so just answer hers next XD)
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They all need to leave to go to their part time jobs as pillow spirits here on earth
What do you know about the monsters under my bed
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They're very nice, but they seem so scary and grumpy, because you keep waking them up at the middle of the night with your snoring, and shining your light under your bed.
Why do trees sometimes lose their leaves?
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Cause the snow fairies spread rogain on them and as everyone knows rogaine has an opposite effect on trees as it does for fat old men
Was are people either overwhelmed or underwhelmed. Was not just whelmed
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It works a lot like re-repeating something and re-reflecting. You can only do that if you've already peated and flected twice. You can only be whelmed the first time, and that happened so long ago that none of us really remember it.
Why do the stars only come out at night?
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Cause they have a powerful fear of the sun steming back to the days when the sun killed there father by peeing on him
Whats the answer to the ultimate question
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42
Where do baby's come from?
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Well, when a boy has no money, and a girl has no money, they both get really really bored. And they want to do something, but since they're broke, they can't go out, so they end up enjoying each other's company. And that enjoyment leads to more and more enjoyment. And that's how you came around!
Why is everyone more into their phones than other people?
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cuz phones have a secret back light that turns everyone's minds off and into using the phone more
where do all my missing socks go
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There's rumor of a phantom washer machine that sacrifices clothes to Burning Dryer Machine.
That must be where your socks went.
Why does Mario Party hate me?
(('I think I did it right, lol.))
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Because you always cheat in Mario Kart!... I don't know how, but still!
Why isn't the earth flat?
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You see, a long time ago, the Earth was flat, but the elephants didn't like that. They stood on the very edges of the flat planet to curve them around the turtle's shell, but that left the turtle feeling uncomfortable, so he kicked Earth off his back and in the sky. The elephants couldn't move off the edges of the planet fast enough to stop it from becoming round and so the planet joined togeth, making Africa one continent. Some of the faster elephants made it into Asia before this happened though, and that is why the world is round.
How does gravity work?
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Gravity consists of little propeller-like molecules which push down on every object. The bigger the object, the more gravity-molecules are attracted by it and will push it down more as well like busy little bee-hive workers.
Why can we see various colours?
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It's because there are fairies who, for each color, put little bits of color absorbing powder in your eyes when you sleep.
So when you wake up, you can see everything again.
What makes my Ice creamm melt?
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Ice cream melts because there are tiny faries that get jealous over time and start stealing it which causes it to melt.
Why are the clouds so high up?
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Clouds are actually made of candy floss and are placed so high up by giants so that children don't rot there teeth on it
Post Merge: April 27, 2016, 06:36:54 PM
What is the function of a rubber duck?
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Rubber ducks were once real ducks that we bathed with to help with diseases, but one effect of domestication was that they turned into rubber.
Why does the world spin?
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The world spins because the wind catches the mountains making to world act like a turbine
Why are there furrys?
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Some people don't like being normal. Carp, that's a half-decent explanation.
How does the Internet work?
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There's a bunch of people sitting in rooms all over the planet, making up answers to things that people type in the search bars. The information being sent is not actually from some invisible source, but a direct response to your inquiry. The web pages are designed as quickly as possible - that's why there's some time between clicking and the web page opening for you.
How do they get all that color into each marker?
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Well you see, there is a factory that has enslaved every single rainbow to drain their beautiful colours by stabbing a cylinder of different shapes into the rainbows then put the extracted cylinder into plastic tubes that are then made into what you perceive as markers, but are truly cut out rainbow flesh. The rainbows you see in the mist are really the spirits of Rainbows trying to call for help for their surviving family in the marker factory cellars.
Why won't aliens reply to our calls?
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Because they saw the state of the internet.
Why do babies cry when they are born?
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Their mom was ugly.
In the word 'scent' what is silent, the S or the C?
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It has to be C because if it was S, then there would be more argumehts and flame wars about it being related to money.
And nobody likes arguing about money.
Howcome the color purple looks blue sometimes?
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Because eyes are stupid. And sometimes your eyes think that straight lines are bendy.
(anyone get the reference? :P)
Why are eyes sometimes so stupid?
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Because they're right in front of our brains.
Why are brains so pink and squishy?
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Once, long ago, brains were pure white, and very hard, but someone dropped strawberry Jell-o into the mixture when a generation of brains were being made.
Why does the sun rise and set every day?
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Because it is spinning on an enormous ring around the earth.
Why are eggs shaped the way they are?
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They are all laid spheres but gravity immediately changes theire shape because the propeller molecules get stronger as they get closer to their power source, which is the turtle at the center of the Earth.
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*insert crappy explanation of unlisted question here*
What makes the world go around?
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Money.
Why didn't I post a question?
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(But that's a valid answer ;~; )
Because you wanted to keep us guessing.
How do speakers work?
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There are tiny leprauchauns or gnomes in it, depending on the season, and they use paper and thin fabric to stimulate audio waves.
Why do we call grey cells/matter like so?
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The people that named the parts of tje brain were color-blind.
Explain why DBZ is so cool
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Because it takes 30 episodes to talk about paint drying.
Why did Pokémon become so popular?
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People used the cards as ninja stars to assassinate people, and it was just assumed that they liked the card game. This caused all followers of the person killed to go out and buy the cards.
Why are there stars?
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There once was a man who worked in a confetti factory. He used alot of glitter for his confetti.
One day the tactory blew up and the glitter-fetti flew into space.
Why is fighting so popular?
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Because pillows.
What's the best way to park a car?
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You pull the car forward onto as many parking spots as possible and make sure it is crooked, that is the law.
How do lights work?
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Theres a little fairy inside, it keeps looking at you and if you look at it, it burns your brain.
Why is metal cold when you touch it?
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Because all that inaudible screaming to music drains it of all heat.
Why not bring a sword to a gun fight?
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once we actually could..but our brains saw it as an obstruction to our view and now we block it out
why do leaves change color in the fall
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They are stroooong independent brown leaves, and they don't need no tree.
How does the Internet work?
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A bunch of spiders got together and made the biggest spider-house out of cables that had ever been made. Then we had the idea to help them out and cover the world. That's why it's called "the web".
How do ocean tides work?
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There's a bowl on the moon that cats keep trying to knock down. When it turns over, we get alot of water. When it sits up, we have less water.
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Uhm, yes.
Why are there no more steamtrains?
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Because all the teakettles got jealous and stole all the steam from the trains. That's why the steamtrains that are left are all sad.
What is so great about sliced bread?
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It isn't. Sometimes you want a really thick slice of bread, but it is really thin, but when you want a thin slice it is too thick. It is a lot better to just cut your own?
How are translations made?
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You've been lied to, we all speak one language. English.
Does the refrigerator ALWAYS stay on!? Why can't I catch it off!?
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No, it does turn off, but only when you aren't within a line of sight or earshot.
How does a phone work?
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Well you see you have this very tiny person sitting in there and when you press the buttons he hits a series of switches and whenever you call he gets out and runs as fast as he can because he has super hearing and delivers it to the other phone which is why sometimes calls drop because they are out of breath or if there's static it's because your midget has a cold
Why are there earthquakes
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Earth's relationship with the sun is not going very well. Earth wants to leave, but the sun won't let them. Earthquakes happen when Earth is in its most extreme relational turmoil.
How does air work?
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Well you see the earths rotation and the moons rotation are opposite to the nearest polar bear and the three different rotations generate currents that move the waves of the ocean when the waves crash on a beach the mist rises up pushing the lazy air at the bottom to the top the air then moves creating a chain affect that gathers some water that got splashed up over it which makes clouds clouds eventually destabilize and get lazy and drop their water and go back down waiting to be brought up again
What is a government and can I eat it
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The government is a poisonous cookie, with tiny mean men in suits that live on it. Do not eat the government.
Why were bunkers made?
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Bunkers were designed and made by aliens to keep human beings in cages. We don't realise it yet, but soon the day will come.
What are birds?
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the living embodiment of evil
why do we always lose ouur car keys
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Because there are tiny little furry gnomes who want you to get frustrated and annoyed all the time, so they still them and move them, placing the car keys somewhere else.
What are rabbits?
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THe Aliens mentioned earlier
What is gravity
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This was already explained. It is a bunch of propeller shaped molecules that are attched to everything and push that thing down towards the ground.
Why do balloons float?
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Because they're holding in their farts.
How do phones connect when a call is made?
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There is an in isible string coming out of every phone, and when you call someone, your string ties itself to theirs. This lets you send sound to them.
How is glass made?
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Vandals set the beach on fire every tuesday.
How do forums work?
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Magical spider webs carry our posts to a space web, then our devices use mirrors to sow us that web.
Whys is the sun round?
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Because it didn't want to conform to the rules of minecraft.
How do planes fly?
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There is upside-down gravity propellers on them.
Why do farts stink?
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We are descendants of skunks, they sacrificed themselves to create us. So each time you fart, you release the spirit of a skunk.
Why do people laugh?
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People laugh because of water. The water tickles our bodies and we panic, but laughing comes out. Thats also why we cant laugh when we're really dehydrated.
Why do our eyes hurt in water?
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Because water is actually acid.
Where does the sun go at night?
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At night the sun stretches out and yawns, reaching around the other side of the earth. What we call the moon is actually one of the sun's toenails, which is why it's shaped like that, and it's a different toenail every few nights, which is why the size changes.
Why do boats float?
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the boat connected to a large invible fish the swims under the boat.
how des music come to life?
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when a musical instrument finds it's right mate, they start doing some amazing stuff in a rhythm, and after the process is done, the music is finally born, and is ready to grow up, and aim for the stars. :|
How do music boxes work?
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When two pieces of sheet music love each other veeeeeery much, they give the stork a call and have him deliver them a baby music box. As it grows up and learns to speak, it actually talks in the language of music. Then, once the music box is all grown up, corporations steal them from their homes and sell them for cash. When you open the music box, it's actually crying for help in the language of music. And you're a jerk for never understanding it! XD
Why does fur shed when hair doesn't?
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Because your fur feels like it needs a haircut so badly, it does it itself.
Why iz Pluto not planet no more?
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it is a planet, they recently gave it the name of a planet again ;) But it's because pluto was crying too much, and being such a baby, so that the people gave it the name back :P
Why do we eat? :P
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Because, how else could we poop?
Can you explain the many worlds theory?
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Of course! There once was only 1 world, but it felt lonely, so it called for it's friends to come. Unfortunately it can't have friends, because it's alone, so it split itself into infinite amount of copies of itself to talk to. How sad. XP
how was the earth formed?
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God sneezed an made an explosion.
(This is a true story that happened a minute ago.)
Why did I have the sudden urge to stick a candy up my nose? And why did I do it?
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itz bcuz u dum an cant spel rite dat u did dat. y u evin tri dat?
Why does nobody get that reference?