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Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: MrPinkSheep on April 01, 2016, 09:05:19 PM

Title: Time for a generic advice post
Post by: MrPinkSheep on April 01, 2016, 09:05:19 PM

Heya guys! I got some issues with something and yes, it has to do with liking a girl

Okay so here's my issue. From the beginning of the year I've liked this girl, and she was in a relationship until now. So yes, now she's single. And this is good because now I actually have a chance to talk to her. But here's the thing. I have really bad anxiety issues, and I don't even really know this girl that well. So I don't know really what to do, but I just figured this'd be a good place to talk about it


Thanks guys!

Title: Re: Time for a generic advice post
Post by: HyenaKing on April 01, 2016, 09:30:55 PM

Best thing to do is try to befriend her, and make sure to not fall into the putfalls of "I NEED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT UGH SINCE I JUST BROKE UP" Kind of thing. I've been in a similar situation.

Title: Re: Time for a generic advice post
Post by: Armalite_ on April 01, 2016, 09:31:28 PM

A rebound eh?

There are a few things you should find out before getting involved.

1. Why did they break up? She could be crazy, vindictive, unloyal, or unreliable. If she isn't, then her ex probably is.
2. Who is her ex and are you close with him? Surpressed angry feelings can linger long after the break-up. Last thing you want is a fight with her ex.
3. Is she your type? People with nothing in common don't usually have a lot of fun together doing things the other person has no interest in. She might also be open to new things.
4. Is there someone else? Better hope there isn't.

Being nervous around someone you like is normal. Everyone usually is. I'm guessing you go to school with her? You're probably no stranger to her if she's one of your classmates, I would just go up and tell her I heard the news about her breakup and that I'm sorry it didn't work out. She will either respond with sadness, anger, or with a total care-free reply. Her response will tell you a lot about the circumstances of her breakup and relationship but you don't care, you just want to break the ice. Tell her it's none of your business, but ask what happend. She will either tell you or she wont, that doesn't matter either. Just tell her you hope she's feeling ok and that you're around to talk if she wants.

Dont expect her to drop into a new relationship with you right away. If she seems like she does, it's not good. Despite your excitement, that shows shes not taking things seriously and she's looking for a new bf for a particular reason - a reason at your expense. If she can drop her ex and immediately get a new bf, what does that say about a future with her? Be a good friend to her and be yourself. Eventually, after a few weeks of getting to know her, ask her if she'd like to do something sometime with you. Don't wait too long or you'll miss the oppertunity and be stuck in the friend zone. Being her friend has its benefits, but do you want something more? You will have to work up that courage to be yourself and make her laugh and smile. Be there for her when no one else is.

Title: Re: Time for a generic advice post
Post by: Halei-Helai on April 01, 2016, 11:48:32 PM

Something I was thinking: how long ago was this breakup? From the tone of your post it sounded like it was actually very recent. This girl might not even be emotionally ready for another relationship so soon, at least not a serious one.

Title: Re: Time for a generic advice post
Post by: Proto Triose on April 02, 2016, 09:28:46 AM

If it was recent, I agree about giving her time. Let her know you're there for her; she probably needs a friend more than a relationship right now, if the breakup was serious. After a while, all the courage you need is to let her know how you feel. It's important she know, so she doesn't write you off as not interested, but she needs time first. I know I would, put in her shoes.

(http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/4717919/women-in-workplace-family-guy-o.gif)

Title: Re: Time for a generic advice post
Post by: Baz Fuhrmann on April 09, 2016, 08:35:00 AM

Be bold, and direct, but not cocky, or overbearing.

Be respectful (women are people too)

Be yourself, not someone else.  Women can spot a fake for miles, and you only end up fooling yourself.

It would be a very good idea to give her time.  Also, parcel out your interactions to her with occasional "Hi" encounters, and do some nice things for her, like hold a door, offer her a snack she might like, that sort of stuff