The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: moonwolf101 on January 25, 2016, 10:48:12 PM
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OK, so my friend got a new boyfriend a week ago. And at first, he was nice, but then he started getting on my nerves and on another friends nerves as well. My other friend told me this and made me promise not to say how we disliked her boyfriend. So he was ticking me off today during lunch and I snapped, I yelled at him (to no prevail). My friend and I got into an argument over why I yelled at her bf, during the argument I accidentally said I promised I wouldn't say the reason I did so. She caught that and is now forcing me to tell. I keep my secrets at heart, but now my friend is threatening to cut unless I tell the secret to her. Which is more important or how can I get around this?
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That's not a true friend, and not worth your time... If she's cutting herself that's on her, your not hurting her. If she's acting like that and chooses a boy over you, I highly suggest you Move on and hang out with different people.
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I must say that I agree with Zaida
That's all :|
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It's really hard to hear someone threatening to do something so personal not only to themselves, but to those around them, people who it would effect deeply. I can't say that she would or she wouldn't. I don't know her, I don't know what she's like or if she has or hasn't made threats like this in the past. With that being said, it's safe to say do as you feel you should. Do not give in, just because she's threatening you. This sounds more like a threat that has been made because she's losing control of a situation that she wanted to go her way. If you do not want to tell her, you do not have to tell her anything, she is not your boss.
If she does end up hurting herself, do not cave into that. Some people with control issues have the nerve to take it to the next level and sometimes it's just best to move away from a situation like that. It may be hard to cut ties with her but there's no sense in keeping someone so toxic as to threaten self harm in your life. Like the others said, she really doesn't seem like a friend at all.
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Thx guys. She already said that, since I'm keeping the promise, she doesn't wanna be my friend anymore and that I'm ungrateful. Didn't say anything back to avoid a pointless fight. Thanks again!
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Ungrateful? Wow. Yeah. Just wow. She doesn't deserve your friendship. She's just low. Rude little snot..
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People are crazy and we all have our own issues.
It's just whether or not we're willing to try and help others with their issues that bind friendships together. It's true.
She's threatening to cut herself because she's either being an idiot or she's unstable. I must say we're all idiots from time to time and some of us crack easier than others, causing us to make stupid decisions like cutting ourselves.
Either the case, it does not matter.
What matters is if you feel it's necessary to put effort towards repairing your relationship with your friend and her issues or not.
Imagine if you were her.
Let's say you got a boyfriend and she yelled at him. Just picture your own friend yelling at your beloved boyfriend and when you ask why, your friend tells you she promised not to tell you.
So now you're conflicted between someone you love and someone you admire as a friend wondering why they can't get along.
I'm sure you'd be pretty desperate to find out exactly why there is a problem between them, and I'm sure she is feeling that way now.
With no other option to convince you to fess up, she's playing her last card.
Will she cut herself? Probably not.
But the fact that she even told you she would, should give you a good idea of how desperate she is for answers.
The fact that she now knows you are keeping a secret is reason enough for you to tell her what is going on.
It's fine to keep secrets, but telling someone you're keeping one from them is torture.
Naturally she is trying to figure out what those secrets are and unfortunately she's probably assuming the worst.
Which again, is why she's so desperate.
So don't let a "secret opinion" be the reason you end ANY relationship with anyone, ever.
You've already spilled the beans, so it's time to confess. It's only right.
Maybe she's not being the best of friends by threatening you with self harm.
But perhaps YOU can be a better friend than her by telling her what's really going on.
And if she doesn't accept what you have to say about her boyfriend, then so be it.
At least you'd end the friendship knowing you did the best you could to help her out, as her friend.