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Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Trinity_Zane on November 24, 2015, 08:15:32 PM

Title: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Trinity_Zane on November 24, 2015, 08:15:32 PM
I do not have the pleasure of knowing you all out there. I honestly feel like I'm missing out on something great. Because you're all like me, and me you. We are people stuck in a body we don't want to be in but it could be deeper than that. Maybe the frustration the disappointment that you're not the person you want to be.

Friends we are all of us enjoying a fantasy life but our lives are out there in the real world. If you want to be an attractive person then GO BE IT! If you want to be an astronaut you CAN DO IT! If you want to lose weight, grab those running shoes my friend. I see me, I see you and people here who decided to join a site so they could be themselves. BE YOURSELF OUT THERE! Your greatest enemy is NOT outside sources. It's you.

We are not in a place to chose our lives, our bodies, these thoughts. Make do with what you have. If you're lucky enough to be alive than you're lucky enough! If you fought your way into this life, then it's nothing to give away without a fight. So why complicate it by fantasizing over changing your sex. You're beautiful the way you are NOW.

Sincerely,

Your Friend
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Goblin Cat 😸 on November 24, 2015, 10:31:23 PM
This is transphobic.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Grovygrunge on November 24, 2015, 11:06:10 PM
This is transphobic.
I feel you may have taken his choice of words too literally. This seems to have very little to do with issues of gender. I'd say the only thing here relating to that issue could be seen as misunderstanding the concept of transgenderism but that's nowhere near a reason to call him transphobic.


As for the actual topic, I agree with most of what is being said. I don't feel like I am stuck in a body which isn't my own in any way but the advice to get out their and live life and enjoy yourself and stuff like that is very sound advice in my opinion.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: NautilusWolf on November 24, 2015, 11:20:03 PM
It came off transphobic. I thought nothing of it at first, thinking the moral was "if you can change yourself for the better do it" and "you're unique, embrace it." But then the last two sentences made me delete my original post, and re-write. :/

I gotta agree with Mort.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Grovygrunge on November 24, 2015, 11:39:51 PM
Transphobia is "trans people are scum/I hate trans people/they scare me because I'm ignorant and such". Misunderstanding isn't that. Transphobia is hate, not misunderstanding. I'm gonna stop now but one last thing.

Can we please stop turning something meant to be positive and helpful into something negative? OP was trying to say something nice and reassuring.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Angder on November 24, 2015, 11:40:18 PM
Transphobia is "trans people are scum/I hate trans people/they scare me because I'm ignorant and such". Misunderstanding isn't that. Transphobia is hate, not misunderstanding. I'm gonna stop now but one last thing.

Can we please stop turning something meant to be positive and helpful into something negative? OP was trying to say something nice and reassuring.

+1 to this. As in. Full agreement.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: NautilusWolf on November 24, 2015, 11:45:29 PM
Allow me to shed some light.

The statement alone that we shouldn't "complicate our lives" by fantasizing about changing our sex.


With how I feel with Dysphoria, that's my goal to complete happiness. It's like saying to someone who feels similarly to me, "you're fine, brush it off. Your good the way you are." Well, to you, but not us. Your opinion doesn't matter in that regard. It's like having someone being eaten alive by a parasite and being told that's okay and they shouldn't want it removed.


Understand it now? He didn't mean it obviously, but it came off transphobic.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Goblin Cat 😸 on November 25, 2015, 12:01:57 AM
Transphobia is "trans people are scum/I hate trans people/they scare me because I'm ignorant and such". Misunderstanding isn't that. Transphobia is hate, not misunderstanding. I'm gonna stop now but one last thing.

Can we please stop turning something meant to be positive and helpful into something negative? OP was trying to say something nice and reassuring.

I suggest you look up micro aggressions. I'm still with Zoey. It's transphobic whether he intended it to be or not.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Alistair on November 25, 2015, 12:15:53 AM
This is transphobic.


+2


In full agreement
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Goblin Cat 😸 on November 25, 2015, 12:20:19 AM
(Now that I'm less tired) OP frames being transgender as if it is a choice. That's transphobic. The post may have been attempting to be inspiring but suggesting someone who wants to transition is just ruining their lives or wasting their time "fantasizing over a sex change"  is in fact transphobic.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: anoni on November 25, 2015, 04:35:11 AM
Well it's probably better to say the problem with it rather than just say it's transphobic.

The reason some people are having issue with this post is as follows:

  The problem with your post is that you're claiming that transgender people should simply accept that they are the sex they were born with and should just move on, but this has proven time and time again, throughout the vales of history, through monumental research by numerous psychological and medical associations, to not be so easy. What I find interesting is your post sort of contradicts itself, you talk about people wanting to be fitter and you say "Go do it!" As if the only way to make yourself feel good about being fitter is to actually become fitter. Yet, when it comes to transgender people who want to be a different sex, you instead say "Just accept it!", why would you use "fitter" as an example to prove your point when it actually contradicts your transgender point? I dunno.

  Either way I feel like there's a counter culture brewing. Basically a lot of people believe that transgender people are going over the top but what's interesting is lesbian and gay people did this exact same thing back before 2000 and it basically has followed the same pattern. People were like "I don't mind if people are gay but if they're gay in public that's sort of gross" and "Bleh, these people waving gay pride flags and stuff, like can't they just accept that they're a male who should be attracted to females?". Anytime a culture becomes exclusive, anytime a culture becomes prominent to say "We have this property that you do not have", it seems a counter culture develops.

  In a way I can see why, some transgender people are outright hostile to cis people, and it's hard to be friendly to a community that you perceive as against you. This whole idea of "Checking your privillage" was supposed to be about recognizing the hardships that transgender peoples face, but some people these days seem to use it more as a "You should feel guilty for not being born trans", which to me is totally missing the whole point. Another thing I don't like is when transgender people say you can't have an opinion on transgender people that is against their opinion, like, they build off this entire idea that their opinion is protected by the social idea that you shouldn't be mean to transgender people or otherwise they'd get more upset than a usual person, and I think that's not a very good stance to have.

  Regardless, these things I'm specifying are not the majority of transgender people, the majority of transgender people are very nice, friendly, and accepting. They respect you if you respect them and they just are generally really cool people. The problem is that the minority of transgender people are very loud, and very noisy. It's sort of a much, much less extreme case of Daesh and Islam, in that Islam is clouded out by the loud minority of Daesh people, of course these transgender are no where near as worse as Daesh, it's just highlighted the fact of a minority clouding out the majority.

  So here's my final point. You may not understand transgender people, I recommend doing some research. You may find some transgender people are doing stuff you disagree with, maybe just don't hang out with those particular transgender people then. Just don't generalize, cause a lot of transgender people are cool people and they're affliction is pretty real. Don't be mean to transgender people, not because they're transgender, but because they're people.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: 138 on November 25, 2015, 04:46:58 AM
This thread makes me giggle
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Trinity_Zane on November 25, 2015, 06:30:23 AM
This is transphobic.

Quite the contrary my friend. You assume that because I care for someone this would automatically make me a phobic. If this was the case and we were typing fears and categorizing them you would have Atychiphobia. This would explain why you were so brash in your comment and response. You have a belief and decided I was attacking it and so you defended yourself. You misjudged me-I do not want to fight or argue (with you or anyone), I was merely offering encouragement (still am). If we believed that every reaction was out of fear than everyone here lives in fear. For instance why do you work? The need of money, without it where would you be? What about why you comb or brush your hair every morning? Afraid you might not impress someone with your appearance, worried you might look kinda bad? See it is easy to feel that way.

That being said lets reason this out logically shall we: people now days believe if you're Homosexual it's untreatable. Now you and I cannot change our DNA. This is fact. It is also fact that you inherent physical and emotional, mental traits belonging to your parents.

My family has a bad history of drinking, some are terribly alcoholic. Therefore I am predisposed to drinking. I love the taste and I get urges. However I don't touch it. I have a choice when that cup touches my lips to either drink it or not. But you know what, I know it isn't right to get drunk. Even though I am chemically unbalanced this does not mean my DNA is physically forcing me to drink.

Now say you have a friend who you love and he/she smokes. Wouldn't you try to help them? I would. I know what it can do to you. Homosexuality can lead to AIDS and un-needed/unnatural surgeries. All because of what? An inclination. They are both bad habits to have. I love my fellow man and you.

No one is being forced to lay down with anyone. There is always a choice. So the belief that you can't change is irrelevant.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: anoni on November 25, 2015, 07:05:45 AM
There is a substantial amount of scientific organizations that disagree with you on both Homosexuality being changeable (http://www.apa.org/about/policy/sexual-orientation.aspx) and homosexuality being inherently bad for ones life (https://web.archive.org/web/20130808032050/http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/sexual-orientation.aspx). There is very large evidence that transgender people are Biologically transgender on a chemical, not just psychological, level (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3402034). Seriously, there is so much (http://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(07)01228-9/abstract) not just chemical but also differences in brain structure (http://press.endocrine.org/doi/abs/10.1210/jcem.85.5.6564) and brain plasticity differences as well (http://www.eje-online.org/content/155/suppl_1/S107).

  I don't even think your argument makes much sense to begin with, you act as a gene that has a predominant psychological effect is the same as a gene that has a predominant biological or mechanical effect. If I was short, are you gonna try make me taller, are you going to try to help me to get taller? No, of course not, because I'm already short, you can't just magically make someone taller. Being short and tall work in the same way as any other genes so the idea that "cause you can change one gene, you can change all genes" makes no sense to me. Besides, a gene that makes you more suseptable to smoking is not the direct effect of that gene but the indirect effect to the gene. It's like a gene that makes you more compulsive might make you more addicted to certain things, it's an indirect effect, while a gene that makes you short is a more direct effect and the direct effected genes can't be simply changed by talking it out. As many of the links I've just shown above demonstrate, the genes that correspond to transgenderism give a direct effect on sex hormones, not an indirect effect.

  Either way, the point is unless you have actual scientific evidence to back up any of the claims you just made, your entire argument is extremely baseless and has no implications to the real world what-so-ever. You can make up simple anecdotes but they don't mean anything without actual real world data to back your claim up.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Alistair on November 25, 2015, 07:09:26 AM
There is a substantial amount of scientific organizations that disagree with you on both Homosexuality being changeable (http://www.apa.org/about/policy/sexual-orientation.aspx) and homosexuality being inherently bad for ones life (https://web.archive.org/web/20130808032050/http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/sexual-orientation.aspx). There is very large evidence that transgender people are Biologically transgender on a chemical, not just psychological, level (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3402034). Seriously, there is so much (http://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(07)01228-9/abstract) not just chemical but also differences in brain structure (http://press.endocrine.org/doi/abs/10.1210/jcem.85.5.6564) and brain plasticity differences as well (http://www.eje-online.org/content/155/suppl_1/S107).

  I don't even think your argument makes much sense to begin with, you act as a gene that has a predominant psychological effect is the same as a gene that has a predominant biological or mechanical effect. If I was short, are you gonna try make me taller? Being short and tall work in the same way as any other genes so the idea that "cause you can change one gene, you can change all genes" makes no sense to me.

  Either way, the point is unless you have actual scientific evidence to back up any of the claims you just made, your entire argument is extremely baseless and has no implications to the real world what-so-ever. You can make up simple anecdotes but they don't mean anything without actual real world data to back your claim up.


Yeah!! Go Anoni!!  :D
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: George on November 25, 2015, 07:09:59 AM
That being said lets reason this out logically shall we: people now days believe if you're Homosexual it's untreatable.
You say that like it's a disease.
We are not in a place to chose our lives, our bodies, these thoughts. Make do with what you have. If you're lucky enough to be alive than you're lucky enough! If you fought your way into this life, then it's nothing to give away without a fight. So why complicate it by fantasizing over changing your sex.
Now say you have a friend who you love and he/she smokes. Wouldn't you try to help them? I would. I know what it can do to you. Homosexuality can lead to AIDS and un-needed/unnatural surgeries. All because of what? An inclination. They are both bad habits to have. I love my fellow man and you.

No one is being forced to lay down with anyone. There is always a choice. So the belief that you can't change is irrelevant.
Try changing your sexuality and see how that goes. Unless you're bi in denial, I think you'll have a pretty hard time. Alternatively, you could try being a girl. It's a bit easier to do change your gender than it is your sexuality. 0ne thing you might learn from the experience is that neither of these things is a choice and you have no place talking down to people, calling them "irrelevant" for not fitting your idea of "right" and "wrong". Not everyone has to fit in your little ideals. 0h, and for the record, AIDS has nothing to do with whether you like boys or girls.





EDIT: What kind of surgery did you think homosexuality leads to? I don't understand where you think you were going with that.

EDIT again: Removed some stuff cause it was ragey instead of actually contributing.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: Angder on November 25, 2015, 09:28:41 AM
OK... I am officially doing a 180 on my views on this thread.

I assumed it was just badly phrased... or someone using a bad analogy. Or something.

I am also yet to see a SINGLE good reason for why homosexuality is bad, or being transgender for that matter. I have heard vague "Its unnatural" ((untrue)) or "Against god". But that's as far as the reasons go.


Also, Zoey. Sorry for trying to defend this guy. I really should have known better. :|
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: George on November 25, 2015, 09:33:58 AM
I assumed it was just badly phrased... or someone using a bad analogy. Or something.

I was hoping for the same thing when I read the op, but was suspicious of his overuse of things like "friend" and various "smart" buzzwords. When he referred to "treating" homosexuality it was obvious he's just trying to push fundamentalist views while avoiding bringing religion into the topic.
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: kalan on November 25, 2015, 10:38:43 AM
Wow I cant believe this hasnt been locked yet. This is just pure ignorance here. So is there a cure for homosexuality, do you know something the rest of us dont?
Title: Re: Dear You, The Reader
Post by: anoni on November 25, 2015, 11:01:43 AM
Yeah alright, I know what's gonna happen anyway. He's gonna reply angrily, everyone else is gonna reply angrily back, probably should just end it here as we already know what's going to happen. Locked.