The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Cecilia Peromi on November 14, 2015, 11:50:15 PM
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It feels like time is just frozen. I can't feel anything. I don't know what to do, I want to be a girl so desperately. I want to start wearing girl clothes but I just don't have any. I've talked to my Aunt about seeing a therapist and she said that she'll try. But that's not really the issue here. I want to start being a girl now, i'm so sick of having to pretend in front of the rest of my family. (My aunt is the only one who I told about my problem) it makes me feel so empty inside. I hate living like this, it hurts....
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Why? What do you mean? Did the family want a female? Or... what?
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Trust me, I know how you feel. Message me if you'd like!
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I remember considering telling you that speaking to others who believe you have the problem is a good way to make it worse. I didn't, because I figured it'd come across as a bit rude. You need to focus on the fact that your body is just a body, and nothing more. It's not your enemy, it's not your friend. Everything that is you, everything that will ever be you is your nervous system, and even then only the conscious parts. It's a huge thing these days to shove everyone's focus on their bodies, on the superficial appearances, and as a result everyone's trying to backlash with "gender identity" based on the same. What's socially encouraged for a man to do is not what makes him male. What's socially encouraged for a woman to do is not what makes her female. You can choose to believe that your outer physical appearance is what makes you who you are, but that will only lead to the feelings like this. I'm not blaming you, I'm blaming those who encourage you to believe your body is so important compared with your mind. Male and female are types of bodies, nothing more, nothing less.
tl;dr: Stop letting people tell you you're using your body wrong. If you feel like you're in the wrong body, it's because of what people convince you what a male or female "should" be.
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I understand what your saying. I've slept since I created this thread and I realize that all have to do is stop saying I'm not a girl. I truly believe that I am one now. I won't let anyone tell me otherwise.
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I'm going to echo what I already told you previously. If you are at all able to, speak with a therapist who specializes in gender-related issues. A good one can really help you sort this kind of stuff out.
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Thank you Halei-Halai, i'm sure that I'll be speaking with a therapist soon. But in the meantime I just want to feel more feminine than I do right now.
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all have to do is stop saying I'm not a girl.
If you want to feel out-of-place, yes. If you have a male body and you say you're a girl, you're gonna have a bad time. Even if not for social reasons, your body is there. Denying it is will be stressful.
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If you want to feel out-of-place, yes. If you have a male body and you say you're a girl, you're gonna have a bad time. Even if not for social reasons, your body is there. Denying it is will be stressful.
If Cecil Jacobs is in fact trans, which is at least a possibility, then there is a good chance that neurologically Cecil actually is female. There have been dissections and scans performed upon the brains of trans persons that have established that their brains aligned with their gender identity on a physical level even if their bodies didn't. That can certainly give rise to such feelings, and telling yourself you are a guy over and over again will never be able to remove the neurological incongruity that exists, nor is it likely to make you more comfortable with the body that you have even if you parrot it ad nauseum. Take it from somebody who has been there.
Again, gender therapist. I'll stop repeating it since you have mentioned that you would seek one. People on the internet, myself included, are poor substitutes for a person you speak with face to face when it comes to trying to sort out your feelings.
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all have to do is stop saying I'm not a girl.
If you want to feel out-of-place, yes. If you have a male body and you say you're a girl, you're gonna have a bad time. Even if not for social reasons, your body is there. Denying it is will be stressful.
George, transgenderism is a complex thing and is generally not something you can just go "Oh I totally don't feel like a girl". Saying to not worry about your body is like telling someone with anxiety to just "deal with it" or telling someone with depression to just "be happier". And this isn't just me talking, this isn't just a fad talking, but almost every psychological and psychiatric organization, including the American Psychological Association, claim that transgenderism is something that, when given distress like hers, is a mental disorder and is treated like any other, something you can't just go "OH hey, I don't want to be transgender, so therefore I'm not!".
The thing is, George, I wouldn't normally talk to you about this, but transgenderism can be a huge problem, people commit suicide for not being the body that they associate with. What this person needs is professional psychiatric help on the matter, not "Oh just deal with it".
Whether or not it is a social thing or a biological thing doesn't matter, social anxiety is purely a social thing and it can create a huge amount of distress for the person, and again is something that can't just be fixed by saying "Oh fix it". The point is Cecil is feeling a lot of distress, and just saying to suck it up, I don't think, and neither does most of the Psychological associations of the world (which know much more about mental disorders than you or I) is gonna help.
EDIT: And just to add to that fact, the DSM-V, the Diagnostics Statistics Manual, largest and most cited book for mental disorders around the world, claims that (http://www.dsm5.org/documents/gender%20dysphoria%20fact%20sheet.pdf) based on monumental evidence the best way to ensure a good standing of living for someone experience gender dysphoria is gender reassignment or social and legal recognition of their appropriate gender, or therapy. None of these options say to just have them "deal with it".
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I am completely aware that my body is not a female's. However, I've been trying to look past that, and see myself as who I really am inside. On the outside I am a boy, but on the inside, I believe deep down that I am a female.