Post by: ShirokuTheHusky on October 01, 2015, 02:30:44 PM
This was a problem about my dad not understanding furries.
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So I was think about something. As furries, we can not deny that we get grouped with that 37% that likes explicit furry material.
It really, deeply and truly, triggers me.
Now most of my friends either actually understand furries, or have no idea what they are or even that they exist. Which makes my life easier than some of yours probably are.
But here is an upsetting story that still has no resolve.
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My father comes home from work.
I have been trying to indirectly tell him I am a furry for the past two weeks (drawing anthro art and... failing).
This week is homecoming week, and tomorrow is character day. I tell him what we are doing, and that I'm wearing a tail for character day.
Dad: "Really? That's stupid. No one wears tails, especially not guys!"
Me: "Well it's a guy tail."
Dad: "Where did you get a tail?"
Me: "My friend."
Dad: "Why are you wearing a tail?"
Me: "Well it's a furry thing."
Dad: "So you are furry? You're not a furry. What is a furry, then?"
Me: Well the misconceptions surrounding them-
Dad: No, just tell me what it means!
Me: Well, a furry is someone who likes anthropomorphic animals-
Dad: No. A furry, a furry is someone who likes to go to parties and have ### with other furries in costume, pretending they are an animal.
Me: (completely mind blown) No! That is just a misconception!
Dad: Then what is a furry?!
Me: I already told you! It just someone who likes anthropomorphic animals!
Dad: Well maybe in your small group of friends, but anywhere else and people are going to think you like to go to or***s and pretend to be an animal. Cause that's what furries are.
Me: (Pissed out of my mind) Whatever just forget it.
Dad: I'm not trying to be hard on you, I'm trying to help you. Cause you're not a furry.
Me: Uhuh.
Dad: Go to bed. Goodnight "furry Shiroku"
Me: *Shuts my door*
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Now this happened Sunday night, but I'm still about to toss bombs.
He still doesn't get it, cause he is to ignorant to believe he is ever wrong unless the evidence is shoved up his bum.
He brought this up again on Tuesday, when I was trying to explain, contrary to his opinion, that a meme is not always a picture captioned w a statement. He went on about how I am always trying to say he is wrong, but that he is rarely ever wrong, using the whole thing I just talked about as an example.
What do I do? How do I get information from a reliable source and present it without seeming like I am presenting it to him?
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EDIT: Now as I said this has been resolved.
Last night I said that I was still upset at him for his description of furries.
He said something like, "I'm not saying that is how furries are, I'm just saying that in the general population, that's how you will be viewed if you tell someone you are a furry."
I said something about that I cannot deny that it does exist, but its small.
He said that he knew that's not where I'm going with this.
^That may contradict the statement from the previous conversation, "You are not a furry, furries are ppl who...," but at least he understands now.
See, my dad can not admit that he is wrong. His worst fear is being seen wrong, his second worst is being wrong.
So he will never admit that he was wrong before, but he realised he was so he found out what was right, and pretended he knew that.
Thank you all for the help. I needed it.
Post by: Halei-Helai on October 01, 2015, 02:38:42 PM
What do I do? How do I get information from a reliable source and present it without seeming like I am presenting it to him?
I am really not sure about anything you can do, though I hope somebody can prove me wrong. From the sound of things you want to give some literature or resources to him without actually seeming like that is what you are doing. I am guessing that you are the only furry in the house. If that is the case, if an email shows up in his inbox or if an article shows up in the house somewhere about furries and any misconceptions about them, it is going to be absolutely certain that it came from you. Since it doesn't seem that he is very willing to listen to you at this point (not never, but certainly not at this point), anything that he receives from you, even in a roundabout way, will probably be promptly dismissed. The best you can hope for is he is exposed to something impartial and informative on his own, which is probably not all that likely given the common attitude towards furries that people have.
The best thing I can say is give it time, and don't try to force the issue so much. This might even mean being somewhat invisible with the furry stuff that you are involved with, at least for a little while. The more you put it in his face the less likely he is to be positive about things (or even tolerant). This is one of those things you will want to revisit somewhere down the line after he has had time to digest this for a while.
For the record, I am of the opinion that telling parents that your are a furry is almost always a really bad idea.
Post by: ShirokuTheHusky on October 01, 2015, 02:48:32 PM
Post by: MrRazot on October 01, 2015, 02:56:19 PM
Could always show him the Dr Phil episode on Furries.
It's quite an informative episode.
UPDATE: I did some googling -
Something we don't really think about is the perspective of the father/parent/whatever, so I googled "help my child is a furry" and I found mostly articles of course by concerned parents who did not understand the label. There were also a few articles by parents who were trying to educate other parents of the issue that it's not necessarily an issue.
check out this article I found by a parent who is actually proud of her son for being a furry
http://luckyottershaven.com/2014/09/20/my-son-is-furry-got-a-problem-with-that/ (http://luckyottershaven.com/2014/09/20/my-son-is-furry-got-a-problem-with-that/)
The greatest concerns expressed are that it's a weird fetish and the usual response to this is that it's porn, so what?
Teenagers all go through a stage where they get into pornography down to their developing sexual urges and that being a furry is nothing unhealthy.
Try get your dad to do some of his own research and get opinions on the matter. It's important to you and it should be important to him, because all he wants to know is that you're physically and mentally healthy. You are his son after all.
Post by: Obey138 (Matthew "Fluffy") on October 01, 2015, 03:13:42 PM
Post Merge: October 01, 2015, 03:47:42 PM
My father didn't knew the fandom even existed, so after I told him about it, I didn't had to do anything else and he had nothing bad to say.
In fact, he was happy that I finally found myself a hobby ;__;
So really it's hard for me to help here, but I wish I could
Post by: FriendlyFern on October 02, 2015, 04:10:21 AM
Post by: ShirokuTheHusky on October 02, 2015, 01:59:24 PM
I forgot the happy faces.
:3 :)
:D
Post by: moonwolf101 on October 02, 2015, 09:15:59 PM
Post by: saph the sergal on October 02, 2015, 09:47:08 PM
if possibly take the one your trying to tell to a con most of the big ones have a panel on the fandom itself that your parents can go to theres also the anthrocon explenation and theres a 3 part what is furry videos