The Furry Forums

Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: HollowOfHaze on September 05, 2015, 10:21:20 PM

Title: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on September 05, 2015, 10:21:20 PM
Since I joined TFF, I can say that I have met several notable people. I have had memorable discussions, I have made memorable friends, I have talked to more great people than I would have otherwise in real life. However, I feel that I might be going too far when interacting with people. Someone says hi, or I say hi to them, and I find that I tend to perpetuate conversations for long periods of time. I feel that I might be pushing people away by trying too hard to meet them and be a nice person.

I value great people, I value moderation, and I definitely value discussion. I think I might be failing to excersize moderation.

Any suggestions? Should I stop, slow, or continue my communication patterns?
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: Wolxikin on September 06, 2015, 02:02:51 AM
Sometimes it's better to listen than talk, just make sure you give other people the chance to be friendly as well  :)
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on September 06, 2015, 02:17:35 AM
I usually don't talk about myself, always doing my best to learn what I can from what people have to say. I add information about myself as a response but that is about it.
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: Wolxikin on September 06, 2015, 02:29:50 AM
Well to me it doesn't seem like you're doing anything wrong, sometimes it's good to push people to be more friendly and talk more
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on September 06, 2015, 02:32:20 AM
Something just does not feel right though.
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: Delain Azara on September 06, 2015, 04:25:40 AM
You sound like someone I would love to meet! I too am a bit like that, but often I find that either people lose interest in me or visa versa. My best advice is to, if you feel that you are pushing a certain person away, or talking too much, then ask them if they'd like you to stop talking as much or something...
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: Halei-Helai on September 06, 2015, 01:00:58 PM
I would think you are being just fine. As long as you aren't putting the cart before the horse and saying, "hi there nice to meet you, so when should I pick you up?" Keep in mind some people don't have the endurance for a longer conversation, which truthfully includes me sometimes, so I wouldn't mistake people not replying as a sign that they don't like you. Maybe they just need to tune out for a bit.

Feel free to reach out to me via PM if you would like.
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: anoni on September 06, 2015, 01:04:28 PM
Don't know if your intruding? The solution that a lot of people don't seem to understand is that the best method to find out is too.... ask!

If you feel your being too pushy just ask the other person if they feel uncomfortable, if you feel your intruding ask the person whether your intruding.

Also take their answer as THE ANSWER

A lot of people think their intruding even when the person says they aren't, if they say you're not intruding, you're not intruding, if they say you are, than you are, simple as that!
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: Wolxikin on September 06, 2015, 02:55:20 PM
Exactly what Anoni said, coming from a shy person it's always nice to have someone else initiate the conversation
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: HollowOfHaze on September 06, 2015, 05:07:46 PM
I have made sure to ask, although I have a bit of doubt even then since I wonder if politeness would prevent someone from flat-out saying "Yes, you have been irritating."

Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: MrRazot on September 06, 2015, 06:53:47 PM
Try not to over think it

From what I can tell, you've been just the perfect amount of friendliness :P
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: anoni on September 07, 2015, 11:24:50 AM
I have made sure to ask, although I have a bit of doubt even then since I wonder if politeness would prevent someone from flat-out saying "Yes, you have been irritating."

If I was annoying you and I asked you "Am I annoying you" would you say "No" due to politeness?

If you would that's not a good idea, cause then I'm still gonna annoy you :P

If you wouldn't, than that's generally what most other people would do too. People are polite but most people aren't too polite.
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: SapiensUrsus on September 15, 2015, 09:31:41 PM
I don't know that there is such a thing as "too nice". Sounds like you're a good person and you're doing everything right! Stick to your guns, man. Or is this case, rainbow beams of joy and love)

People like you are why I don't lose hope in the world. Earth should be a great place for you guys!  :3
A lot of shy people need someone like you to get them out of their shell. (:
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: Nii on September 15, 2015, 11:35:46 PM
I don't think being "Too friendly" is a bad thing, since I'm usually the one who listens and waits for someone to start a conversation.

It's only a issue if the person who you're talking to states it is.
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: BennyJackdaw on September 16, 2015, 10:33:33 PM
I agree with the others here. As long as you're not TRYING to go overboard, you can't really become "too" friendly. Sometimes just being a good guy is all anyone wants from others. :)
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: Dr.Vice Jameson on September 29, 2015, 02:44:20 AM
Well, I'm an asswhole, and I generally try to be nice unless your an idiot. I find lots of people are just like me, and more should be like you.
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: Dante Zairou on October 05, 2015, 06:48:04 PM
*shrugs* personaly id define too friendly anything that makes the people/ person youre talking to uncomfortable , ya just gotta learn to read people and adapt how you act arround them
Title: Re: How Friendly Is Too Friendly?
Post by: VoodooMax on October 05, 2015, 07:27:45 PM
Since I joined TFF, I can say that I have met several notable people. I have had memorable discussions, I have made memorable friends, I have talked to more great people than I would have otherwise in real life. However, I feel that I might be going too far when interacting with people. Someone says hi, or I say hi to them, and I find that I tend to perpetuate conversations for long periods of time. I feel that I might be pushing people away by trying too hard to meet them and be a nice person.

I value great people, I value moderation, and I definitely value discussion. I think I might be failing to excersize moderation.

Any suggestions? Should I stop, slow, or continue my communication patterns?


As a friend, I can say that you should stick to what you do, however, I wouldn't try to continue a ended conversation or drawl out one. I would just talk to someone just like you would in real life, talk and have fun but don't over stay the conversation. I mean no disrespect when I say this and are merely trying to help the situation. Some people may feel pressured if a conversation overstays its welcome, for example, if someone were to say "Yeah, it will be fun, I'll message you when it's over", and you said "Great, I'll talk to you later", that would be how the conversation would end but if you overstayed the conversation and said "That's good but what happened to that video on YouTube?" that would be overstaying the conversation because the other person had to do something or just wanted to end the conversation and you are trying to continue the subject.


What I'm trying to say is that you should not try to over do it and just be more subtle, that's not to say you can't talk to people for extended periods of time, I'm just saying stick to your gut and not over do it. As a friend, I don't think you are over doing it but if you talk more with other friends then I would just ask them, there's no harm in that.