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Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Grovygrunge on March 17, 2015, 12:06:34 AM

Title: I hate that I do this (advice and stuff would be cool)
Post by: Grovygrunge on March 17, 2015, 12:06:34 AM

I'm in a long distance relationship and it's the best relationship I've had so far, yes there are struggles but it's been a great year because of it overall. However, whenever he suddenly stop talking out of nowhere I will be fine for roughly half an hour to an hour then I get clingy and start to worry if he is okay.


I wish i didn't do this...Any tips on how to deal with it or advice in general?

Title: Re: I hate that I do this (advice and stuff would be cool)
Post by: Teiko on March 17, 2015, 06:13:25 AM

I used to be just like you and let me tell you right now, you will destroy your relationship doing that. As cliche as it sounds, in order to maintain a healthy relationship, you have to love yourself first, everyone else comes second, no matter who they are. You have to be at the point where, if your mate were to leave you tomorrow, you would be okay with it. Once you learn how to think this way, life is so much better. This doesn't mean you shouldn't care about them and love them. You need to learn how to control these feelings though.

Everyone needs their space. Everyone needs to be alone sometimes, and I'm sure your mate wouldn't want you to be worrying about him all the time. He would probably much rather you be catching up on your own alone time and being happy.

Title: Re: I hate that I do this (advice and stuff would be cool)
Post by: Grovygrunge on March 17, 2015, 07:59:41 AM

Quote from: Teiko on March 17, 2015, 06:13:25 AM

As cliche as it sounds, in order to maintain a healthy relationship, you have to love yourself first,

As it turns out we actually both don't tend to like ourselves at all. I used to be depressed and used to hate myself, now I'm not (I hope doesn't feel like it anyway) but I'm still in an "I'm not that great" sorta area. Meanwhile he is depressed, currently, it's been much better recently though.

Title: Re: I hate that I do this (advice and stuff would be cool)
Post by: drakewithout on March 17, 2015, 03:09:35 PM

i do this some times, (well did is mroe acuret)

and i find your best option is just to accept it, if you love some one of cores your going to worry about them its an evolutionary instinct .

Title: Re: I hate that I do this (advice and stuff would be cool)
Post by: Atocz on March 22, 2015, 03:55:49 PM

I've been there my friend, I think you should just learn to keep busy with yourself, and do things that's best for yourself, never rely on anybody else to much, especially when it's long distance. I was the same to, always upset when we didn't have any communication for an hour.
I did long distance and only met once per few months.


It didn't end well. But since then I've learnt to control it, when I get close to someone, I ignore the feeling I get of "I must talk to them", and go do my own thing.. just take this advice, on several days just take a "me day" where you think about yourself and plan your day out.