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Furry Chat => General => Forum Games => Topic started by: Tina on February 12, 2015, 08:46:46 PM

Title: Tell A Joke
Post by: Tina on February 12, 2015, 08:46:46 PM
Hey i just came up with a silly little game that i think could be pretty fun and fairly simple.


Just come up with a joke that doesn't even have to be good one and post it.

Fairly simple right?


You can even make a joke on someone else's joke (like a pun), but just so long as you're not being mean.

Just keep the jokes appropriate, and have fun! :)
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Trixsie Vixen on February 13, 2015, 12:40:26 PM
Q:  What's grey?


A: A melted penguin
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on February 13, 2015, 04:50:21 PM
What do you call a deer with no eyes

Noeyedeer

What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes

Still noeyedeer
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: anoni on February 14, 2015, 10:07:48 AM
A Higgs boson walks into a church and the preacher yells at him,

"YOU DON'T BELONG HERE! CALLING YOURSELF THE GOD PARTICLE WHEN THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE GOD"

The higgs boson replies

"But then how could you have Mass!?"
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Trixsie Vixen on February 14, 2015, 02:03:17 PM
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the sea?


Bob


What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep?

Mat

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Teiko on February 14, 2015, 04:53:21 PM
What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?  :?



.........a maybee.  ;)
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on February 14, 2015, 06:38:57 PM
The early bird might get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: anoni on February 15, 2015, 01:38:18 PM
A Canadian, An American and an Australian are tied up and being executed by fire squad.

The Canadian gets an idea, as the gunmen are about to shoot he shouts "AVALANCHE!", in the ensuring confusion the Canadian manages to escape

The American sees what the Canadian did and decides he'll do the same, when the gunmen are about to shoot he shouts "TORNADO!", in the ensuring confusion he manages to escape.

Now the Australians got it all figured out, he knows exactly what to do. When the gunmen line up their shots he sees his chance and shouts "FIRE!"

...
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Teiko on February 15, 2015, 02:45:47 PM
Buahahaha i love that one
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on February 15, 2015, 03:30:23 PM
Im suprised no furs has put this one on here yet

What do you call a cow with no legs

Ground beef
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: anoni on February 15, 2015, 04:20:58 PM
Here's a dark one

A married couple was lying in bed one night, when the husband turned the wife and saif

"Honey, Billy looks different from our other 9 children, does he have a different father?"

The wife sighs, tries to look her husband in the eyes, a small tear flowing down her cheek, she sheepishly says

"....yes"

The husband holds gasps, he holds back his tears, he whimpers

"I... I just want to know... one thing... who is the father?"

The wife, sobbing all over the sheets, look at her husband and whispers

"You."
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Teiko on February 15, 2015, 04:32:58 PM
 XD ahahahaha oh no :'(
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Tina on February 15, 2015, 07:55:15 PM
A pirate walks in to a bar holding a wheel.

He sits at the bar and the bar tender asks "what's with the wheel?"

The pirate says. "Arr, it's driving me nuts."
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: anoni on February 19, 2015, 05:49:42 PM
An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. One orders one drink, the next orders half a drink, the next a quarter, the next an eighth

Then the bartender goes "I see what's going on" and pours two drinks. "These people need to know their limits"
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Teiko on February 20, 2015, 11:05:52 PM
If you ever get cold, you should go stand in a corner.

(They're usually about 90 degrees)
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Ryan Naismith on February 21, 2015, 12:04:36 AM
Do pictures count?

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Tina on February 23, 2015, 11:01:09 PM
I don't think so but that is a bad joke.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Ryan Naismith on February 23, 2015, 11:40:12 PM
Hue. Well, here's another one:

I wanted a bike, so I asked god. But I know he doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike an asked god for forgiveness!
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Dax Declan on February 24, 2015, 12:16:06 AM
A baby seal walks into a club.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Trixsie Vixen on February 24, 2015, 01:32:53 PM

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?


A coconut.



Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Tina on February 24, 2015, 10:52:24 PM
What happenes when a peanut who goes on Commedy Central.

He get's roasted.

(If you don't live in America, Commedy Central is an American TV Channel.)
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on February 24, 2015, 11:00:33 PM
what do you do if your eaten by a lion
 
Run around and around until you're all pooped out
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: SadDubwool on February 25, 2015, 03:38:58 AM
Need an Ark I NOAH GUY!
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: White Wolf Guardian on March 17, 2015, 09:53:43 PM
I have to say, this is a hawkward situation!
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Tina on March 17, 2015, 09:58:31 PM
(I have to say that to Razot XD)

Good eeveening.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: White Wolf Guardian on March 17, 2015, 09:59:17 PM
I call fowl play!
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Tina on March 17, 2015, 10:01:09 PM
I don't lynx so.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: White Wolf Guardian on March 17, 2015, 10:03:27 PM
Gabe Newell walks into a Mcdonalds and attempts to order off of the menu, but every option on the menu is a salad, except for #3. Gabe Newell couldn't place an order.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Zarconite on March 17, 2015, 10:29:12 PM
Did you hear about the two bald guys who put their heads together?

They made an ass out of themselves!           

*Ba dum tish*
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: White Wolf Guardian on March 18, 2015, 04:01:09 PM
A new steam sale comes about, 10 minutes later your bank account is empty, but your game library has 12 new games. You have only played 5 games in your 532 game library.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Skael on March 25, 2015, 02:47:13 PM
I don't know why you say Frenchies are hardcore. You should try eating pain, it's tasty !
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Peanut B. Rawket on March 31, 2015, 03:14:06 AM
Have you ever noticed that glass kinda tastes like blood?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 03:17:21 AM
My life!

 Am I right?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 03:27:54 AM
What, no

Im gonna die peacfully in my sleep like my grandfather not kicking and screaming like his passenger
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 03:36:23 AM
(I know it was kinda dark but ah well. I really like your joke though XD )

What's black, white and red all over?
...
...
...
...
A penguin being mauled by a polar bear
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 03:41:08 AM
Alright this one is risky

How do you make a cat bark

Soak it in kerosene and throw a match. WOOF
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 03:47:34 AM
((My my my....that's really dark XD))

What did the T-Rex say to the cactus?


Nothing a cactus can't speak and the T-Rex is extinct...
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 03:59:34 AM
Thats awesome  XD

Can an elephant jump higher than a house

Of course it can a house cant jump
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:02:36 AM
Knock knock....
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:05:41 AM
Who's there
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:06:59 AM
Meeee....
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:11:11 AM
Meeee who
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:13:42 AM
   








 



 









Like a boss
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:15:24 AM
 XD it took me a minute
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:17:26 AM
Granted that's not how my name is pronounced, but it works for this case haha
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:20:20 AM
Who do you get a cat outta outta a tree
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:22:14 AM
Who?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:27:30 AM
How, dang phone
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:28:09 AM
Ahem...

How?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:32:02 AM
Twelve gauge works best
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:35:54 AM
How do you get an old lady to speed up?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:40:31 AM
How ?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:44:19 AM
Push her into oncoming traffic

Oh wait that'll slow traffic...

Nevermind ;)
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:46:04 AM
How do you get a sweet little old lady to drop an f-bomb
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:46:47 AM
How?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:49:41 AM
Get another sweet little old to yell BINGO
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 04:53:21 AM
How do we stop telling old lady jokes?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 04:58:49 AM
How, its hard to make two words outta that
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 05:00:10 AM
Wait an hour and let them die with her.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 05:05:10 AM
 XD im going to hell for laughing

Why dont you invite a republican to your party
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 05:07:46 AM
Because I'm democratic.


Jk why?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on March 31, 2015, 05:23:03 AM
(I was having phone issues sorry)

Because he'll drink all your beer and smoke all your pot
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on March 31, 2015, 05:37:57 AM
Haha

What's long, hard, fun to suck and sometimes sticky?

A popsicle
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: MrRazot on March 31, 2015, 06:05:39 AM
Please keep in mind that the forums rules do still apply here.

What's grey?
A melted penguin
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Trixsie Vixen on April 02, 2015, 07:52:58 PM
Quote from: Trixsie Vixen on February 13, 2015, 12:40:26 PM
Q:  What's grey?


A: A melted penguin


^Ha!  Now you must be my slave Razot!
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Dr. Alka Wolf on April 14, 2015, 03:38:05 AM
Is dark humour allowed? I'm good at coming up with really dark and messed up jokes. Mostly because that's what I generally laugh at  X3
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on April 20, 2015, 02:30:35 PM
So am I....


*Turning the lights off and going to the drum set* Ba Dum Tish
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: AlpineSandow on April 22, 2015, 08:52:11 AM
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on April 23, 2015, 02:21:54 AM
Do you want to hear the worst joke in the world?

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Yeah so do I!
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Dax Declan on April 23, 2015, 02:50:42 AM
Someone told this to one of the English teachers in my school who loves cats.

What's covered in red and has 2 legs?
Half a cat
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Skael on April 23, 2015, 02:52:33 AM
It's someone who comes in a café and splotch.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on April 23, 2015, 02:53:25 AM
XD that's terrible XD

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

A dead baby in 10 trash cans
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Skael on April 23, 2015, 02:55:23 AM
XD I knew that one

Another

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari ?


I don't have a Ferrari in my garage
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on April 23, 2015, 02:59:26 AM
OMG!!!

What's the difference between dead babies and Taylor Swift?

She's still whining
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Skael on April 23, 2015, 03:01:55 AM
In which trash bin shall we put dead babies in France ?


Thay'll take 10 years before seeing the proposition.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Cheza on April 23, 2015, 03:49:34 AM
How do you get 10 babies to fit in one crib?
Use a blender

How do you get them out again?
Nachos
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on April 23, 2015, 03:52:19 AM
What's the difference between a dead baby and a chainsaw

Nothing the two are natural pairs
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on April 23, 2015, 03:54:23 AM
Whats funnier than a dead baby

A dead baby in a clown costume
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Cheza on April 23, 2015, 03:57:09 AM
What's the difference between a mailbox and an elephant-butt?


Remind me to never ever send you to go pick up the mail o-o
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on April 23, 2015, 03:59:11 AM
9/11 jokes are twice as bad as dead baby jokes, and just plane stupid though
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Dax Declan on April 23, 2015, 04:00:44 AM
That's pretty mean dude, Anne Frankly I did Nazi that coming
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Cheza on April 23, 2015, 04:00:53 AM
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The pilot, let me in!
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on April 23, 2015, 04:03:54 AM
I would make a nazi joke...but my thinker is almost out of jews
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Cheza on April 23, 2015, 04:10:00 AM
I'd like to end my days the same way my grandpa did, peacefully in my sleep..
Not screaming and panicking like the passengers in his car..
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Dax Declan on April 23, 2015, 04:12:16 AM
How do you clean up 6 million jews?  A broom and a dust pan.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on April 23, 2015, 04:15:05 AM
I've always feared farting around jews...I always thought they would take my gas the wrong way
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: AlpineSandow on April 23, 2015, 06:11:07 AM
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on April 23, 2015, 03:17:41 PM
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
 
 it takes... Oooohhh butterfly!
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on April 23, 2015, 06:41:39 PM
What do you call a camel with no humps

Humphrey
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: anoni on April 26, 2015, 03:07:47 PM
There is a bathroom with a magic mirror. The mirror is magic that if you lie to the mirror you will disappear forever.

A model walks into the bathroom and starts washing his hands, he looks to himself in the mirror and goes "I am the most beautiful person in the world" and POOF he disappears.

A computer programer walks into the bathroom and starts washing his hands, he looks to himself in the mirror and goes "I am the smartest person in the world" and POOF he disappears.

A politician walks into the bathroom and starts washing his hands, he looks to himself in the mirror and goes "I think..." and POOF he disappears.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on May 03, 2015, 08:54:29 AM
Im sorry and I apologizes are the same thing
unless your at a funeral
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: CrazyCat on May 08, 2015, 03:47:56 AM
Why did the Jew dig through an ashtray?

To look for his friend.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Dubaku on May 11, 2015, 03:14:49 AM
What's the difference between an egg and Elliot Rodger?


An egg gets laid before it cracks.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Sigah on May 11, 2015, 06:32:49 AM
What did Arkansas?  What Tennessee.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: CrazyCat on May 12, 2015, 01:39:23 AM
Quote from: Sigah on May 11, 2015, 06:32:49 AM
What did Arkansas?  What Tennessee.

Probably should have been the other way around, but I digress.

Honestly, I don't like people joking about the Holocaust. My great-grandfather was a victim of the Holocaust. He fell out of a watchtower in Auschwitz while in guard duty and broke his neck. God rest you Mathias Eichmann. You were the best damn officer in all the SS.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Peanut B. Rawket on May 12, 2015, 08:37:00 PM
HOW MANY LEMONS DOES IT TAKE TO DRILL A 3X3 INCH HOLE IN A SALMON IN 12 SECONDS?


WATERMELON


I tried.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Cheza on May 12, 2015, 08:53:39 PM
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
-To get to the other slide.


Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in the mud and then cross the road again?
-Because she was a dirty double-crosser.


Why did the turkey cross the road?
-To prove he wasn't a chicken.


Why did th*shot*
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: CrazyCat on May 14, 2015, 11:56:24 PM
Quote from: Tybalt on May 12, 2015, 01:40:59 AM
......C-Crazy?... :o

Did I go too far?

Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on May 15, 2015, 12:07:12 AM
I don't think so, it is your right to speak up if there's something you don't like.

What did Idaho? She hoed her Maryland XD
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: CrazyCat on May 15, 2015, 12:55:37 AM
Knock knock

Who's there?

Allah

Allah who?

Allahu Akbar!! *BOOM*
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Peanut B. Rawket on May 26, 2015, 05:50:01 AM
Yknow, autocannibalists are so full of themselves.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Gone forever on May 26, 2015, 12:54:26 PM
In a locked room there is only a doctor, a mammoth and a hamburger. What did the doctor do with the mammoth?

I dunno, I wasn't in the room.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on May 26, 2015, 01:49:43 PM
What should you never say when hugging a stranger

Soon soon
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Crest Is Dead ((For Now)) on May 28, 2015, 07:00:06 PM
A horse walks into a bar. Ow
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Obey138 (Matthew "Fluffy") on May 28, 2015, 07:09:45 PM
This sentence doesn't exist
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Alx on May 30, 2015, 09:17:59 PM
2 deers walk out of a gay bar. One turns to the other and says 'Man, I can't believe I blew thirty bucks in there!'
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on June 01, 2015, 11:40:01 PM
This guy leaves his Ipad at his buddies house when his buddies grandma comes to visit. The grandma sees the ipad and mistakes it for a scale. The moral of the story and old woman weighs about $500
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: lonewolfthesniper on June 20, 2015, 03:45:50 AM
did you know there is a discount at the crematorium
for burn victims its 50% off
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: CrazyCat on June 20, 2015, 10:22:15 PM
How do you make a baby cry?
Throw a rock at it.

How do you make it stop crying?
Throw more rocks at it.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: anoni on June 23, 2015, 08:18:21 AM
The Americans were righting a comprehensive, and super secret, software to guide their long-distance missiles. Naturally the Russians got wind of this and tried to find out how the Americans coded their logic. It was a hard job and so far no progress was being made, when suddenly one of the Russian rocket engineers runs into the room with a piece of paper and shouts "SIR! SIR! We found out the Americans have written their software in Lisp!".

  The Russian commander goes up to him and says "How do you know?". The engineer explains, "We managed to hack into one of their files, but they discovered this and cut us off very quickly, so we were only able to get the concluding logic of the program, it's clearly in Lisp, take a look for yourself". The Russian commander looks and smiles.

  The code says
   
Code: [Select]
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Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: White Wolf Guardian on June 25, 2015, 06:39:16 PM
Le generic anti-american joke.

(http://img.4plebs.org/boards/tg/image/1374/66/1374662733464.gif)

On this note, since 99/100 will miss my joke of a joke anyways.

(http://www.jokeoverflow.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/pic28522.jpg)
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: MrRazot on June 25, 2015, 07:34:24 PM
Weaboos in Japan be like "Where are the subtitles?"
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Trixsie Vixen on June 25, 2015, 08:41:17 PM
What do you give the person who has everything?


Antibiotics.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: scarfaceone on June 27, 2015, 01:02:47 PM
OK OK. Ummm,



A Man goes and sees a woman at her house, he is disguised as a Car Repairman, he says ''So, I see you want some Seeeervice?'', the Women and him go on the roof of the car and, you know the rest.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: anoni on July 06, 2015, 01:47:29 PM
Quote from: Wyte on June 25, 2015, 06:39:16 PM
Le generic anti-american joke.

Was actually an anti-lisp (programming language) joke, guessing you didn't read it xD

Another programming joke: How many prolog programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yes.

A Non-programming joke: Three men die and go to heaven, St. Peter is at the pearly gates and says to the three men "Your transportation in heaven is based on how many times you cheated with your spouse, the more you cheated the worse your transportation is."

  He then goes up to the first guy and says "You have cheated on your wife 2 times, thus you get an old car". The first person, slightly disappointed, takes his transport and leaves.

  St. Peter goes to the second guy and says "You have cheated on your wife 4 times, thus you get a scabby, barely running tractor". The second guy, extremely disappointed with his tractor, walks of muttering to himself.

  St. Peter goes to the third guy and says "You have cheated on your wife zero times, thus you get a luxary sports car!" The third guy is ecstatic and goes off his merry way.

  Two weeks pass and the three guys meet up again, they see that the third guy is really sad. "What's wrong?" Says the second guy, "You got the best car out of all of us!"

  "Yeah... *sniff*" says the third guy, "But I saw my wife riding a skateboard!"
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Blisk on July 28, 2015, 07:48:08 PM
Quote from: Furme on May 26, 2015, 12:54:26 PM
In a locked room there is only a doctor, a mammoth and a hamburger. What did the doctor do with the mammoth?

I dunno, I wasn't in the room.

That's...what even!? Lol

So there's this guy who walked into a bar

He said "ouch"
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Zarconite on July 28, 2015, 09:14:54 PM
A plane is taking its test flight to find out if it's going to go into commercial use, Its feeling quite nervous and asked for some words of encouragement from the pilot.
The pilot responds: "Don't worry, just wing it!"
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Blisk on July 28, 2015, 10:31:09 PM
Why are puns so terrible?

They're not. They're actually quite punderful
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on July 28, 2015, 10:35:04 PM
^zarco would be proud

How do you get a cat outta a tree

The chainsaw works pretty good
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Blisk on July 28, 2015, 10:40:24 PM
Awww thank you ^_^

What's the difference between a dead baby and a pumpkin?

One's fun to carve and the other is a pumpkin
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on July 28, 2015, 10:44:02 PM
Lol

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back

A stick
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Blisk on July 28, 2015, 10:51:05 PM
So once I once did stand up comedy and left with the whole audience laughing! Who knew it was funny to watch a guy pee his pants instead of tell jokes!
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on July 28, 2015, 10:56:12 PM
My boss hates when I shorten his name to dick especially since his names steve
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: George on July 30, 2015, 01:00:23 PM
what did the mermaid

see a movie?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: StealthSushi on August 04, 2015, 01:10:59 AM
Have you ever eaten a clock?


It's very time consuming.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on August 04, 2015, 03:45:32 AM
How do you catch a unique rabbit

Unique up on it
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Blisk on August 07, 2015, 01:45:32 AM
So if a lawyer was drowning what would you do?

I'd read the paper and go to lunch
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Celestial_Dragon on August 07, 2015, 03:12:23 AM
Knock knock
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Caesium Iodide on August 07, 2015, 03:25:37 AM
Who's there!?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: kalan on August 07, 2015, 03:34:02 AM
I wanna hear the rest
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Cheza on August 07, 2015, 08:52:09 PM
A sandwich walks into a bar.
- Sorry, we don't serve food here.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Celestial_Dragon on August 07, 2015, 11:53:10 PM
Dora's


(sorry for the wait there)
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Blisk on August 08, 2015, 07:23:50 PM
Dora's who?
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Celestial_Dragon on August 09, 2015, 12:18:14 AM
Doors Locked could you please open it, i am trying to enter but somewhat has locked it


Knock Knock
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Blisk on August 09, 2015, 12:18:52 AM
*opens door* XD
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Celestial_Dragon on August 09, 2015, 12:23:31 AM
" Thankyou" ^_^
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Blisk on August 09, 2015, 11:49:53 PM
Yep yep XD
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Dr. Alka Wolf on August 17, 2015, 02:09:27 PM
A muslim walks into a bar....


That's the joke. Because, islamic people don't drink.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Crest Is Dead ((For Now)) on August 21, 2015, 05:27:18 PM
Three vampire bats live in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night, the bats bet on who can drink the most blood.

The first bat comes home with blood dripping off his fangs. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people."

The second bat returns with blood around his mouth. He says, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of five people."

The third bat comes back covered in blood. He says, "See that castle over there?" The other bats nod. "Well," says the third bat, "I didn't."




Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Mr Honey Badger on August 25, 2015, 12:35:20 AM
Everything what passes event horizon never escapes the blackhole

I know that from my personal experience.

When i throwed my lunch box at my physics teacher.The lunch box was for while orbiting then vanished.When i tried to get my lunch box it was gone but i got to close.I was in orbit she was mumbling something about my grades but i didnt listen because my periapsis was dangerously close to event horizon. She was standing up.I catched the end of her laptop and I tied one end of charger cable to the table and the second one to me.As she was leaving the class I was being pulled towards her taking the table with me.When she left i felt to the ground broke my glasses.

And now tell me that astronomy isnt skill for survival. :D
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Wolxikin on August 28, 2015, 01:30:35 PM
Why did the tomato lose the race?

It couldn't ketchup   XD
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Tina on August 31, 2015, 09:31:55 PM
Why did the orca win the fight?

He kept whaling on his on his opponent.  :3
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Blisk on September 01, 2015, 05:50:06 PM
I hadn't no idea how to breathe
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Tim Siguire on September 05, 2015, 09:24:32 AM
So a bottle of wine and a roll of cheddar are friends.

One day on a beach, they come across an oyster. She was crying because she felt ugly.
The roll of cheddar wàlked up to the oyster and coaxed her into stop crying.
He said "Don't cry, miss. You are just too beautiful. No other oyster has pearls more flawlss, elegant, wonderous. You are super high quality. Dont be sad."

After the oyster cheered up, they left. The wine bottle them said: "Bro. That was super cheesy."
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: MrRazot on September 06, 2015, 06:46:55 PM
So there are two muffins in the oven


They don't say anything to each other because they can't... they're muffins
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: MegaMutt on September 09, 2015, 05:01:51 PM
So a wolf walks into a bar.
what is he doing there? is he going to buy a beer? go home, wolf, you don't even have pockets.
Title: Re: Tell A Joke
Post by: Tim Siguire on September 09, 2015, 10:03:02 PM
A bear, a frog, and a rabbit walk into a cafè.

The bear orders salmon, the rabbit orders carrots, and the frog orders flies.

The waiter said to the rabbit, we have a garden just over here, but ould you like a carrot stew?
"Yes. I would."

The waiter went to the frog and said, i am afraid we dont have flies, sir. But, we do have a dumpster.
The frog said, "What do I look like to you?! Some dirty animal? Ill take a trashcan."

The waiter went to the bear and told him, Sir. I am afraid we dont have any salmon.
The bear said, "What? Its common food!"
The waiter then directed the bear to the menu. If you want some food, look at our menu. There, you will see food.