The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Furry Freezer => Topic started by: TheEndIsNearUs on July 10, 2014, 11:03:30 PM
-
Puns, pick-up lines, anti-jokes, whatever. List them here.
NOTE: Nothing sexist, racist, ableist, etc.; while it might not seem offensive to you, or even to me, it could be to someone else, so be considerate and keep it in taste.
I'll start with a few of my personal favourites.
-
What do you do with dead chemists?
You barium!
-
Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
-
How did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize?
He was out standing in his field.
-
You should go to bargaining school; it teaches you good values.
-
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dorris.
Dorris who?
Dorris locked, let me in!
-
- Did you hear about the guy who took the highway to town?
- No?
- The police asked him to return it.
--------------------
- Did you hear about the guy walking on the roof?
- No?
- Me neither, he walked so quietly..
-------------------
*Avoids a few tomatoes and flower pots before getting pulled off the stage*
-
These are great so far!
-
Your mother is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
-
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.
-
Whats the internet's favorite animal?
The lynx
-
You're mother is so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
-
Did you hear about the party on the moon? It had no atmosphere.
Did you hear about the party on a neutron star? It was packed!
Did you hear about the party in a black hole? Me neither.
-
The bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve particles faster than the speed of light."
A neutrino walks into a bar.
[the neutrinos being faster than light has been disproved, but still funny]
-
- What is it that's toxic green, has got 10 legs, pincers, fangs, crab claws, horns, three tails, and 15 eyes?
- I dunno
- Me neither... Maybe you should get it off your neck?
-
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
-
What does a dyslexic, atheistic insomniac do?
Lie awake at night and wonder if there really is a dog.
-
Always remember I after E except after C!
except when there's a feisty heist on weird beige foreign neighbors, because either caffeine strung aetheists are reinventing protein at their leisure, or plebeians will deign to forfeit their scientists. XP
-
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!
-
- What's dangerous and sitting in a tree?
- Dunno?
- A crow with a machine gun! :'D
-
Im sorry, but the no racist thing, I won't be able to follow that in some cases, so I have put the possibly mildly offensive one in spoiler.
Your mother is like school in July, no class.
Yo mama so fat, when she's at the cinema, she sits next to everyone.
The guy that came up with door knocking should get a no-bell price.
Hey, do you want some shrimp? Sorry, I'm jewish. Oh no, you don't understand, it's free!