The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Rainbows on February 25, 2014, 05:20:02 AM
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I really don't...I've been lucky enough to have a good life. I'm in college, I have (had) irl friends, a supportive family, all the necessities and then some.... so yeah, what right do I have to complain about anything? I come across stressors in my life that aren't a big deal to most people, but freak me out. I know so many people worse off than myself, and I won't vent...I'll have an episode once every several months but that's about it..I had a point but forgot it....whatever..
Sorry..it's just because I'm new here and nobody really knows me that I feel I can say this.....bye.
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No judgments on here, Brotha. We're all nice
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Thanks man....
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If something bothers you, you have every right to talk about it, no matter how good a life you've had. Being ungrateful and having feelings are two completely different entities. Ungrateful is shunning all the great things in your life because they don't cater to your exact desires, having feelings is simply reacting to stimuli and expressing yourself.
You're perfectly in your right to feel differently about something. I mean, some people like hugs, others hate them. People can be a certain sex, though they prefer to be called by different pronouns.
For example: I have very strong feelings against drugs, alcohol and tobacco. They all make me very angry and I try to just avoid the topics altogether. I can take and dish back without getting worked up when discussing other things that I feel strongly for or against, just not those things. That's one example, but ask anyone, they react to certain things that other people would not.
You're just an individual with individual thoughts and feelings, there's nothing wrong with that.
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It's not that I'm ungrateful...I can acknowledge that I am quite fortunate to be where I am. But just saying that I'm doing something wrong, like nearly failing a class, the very idea terrifies me because it creates a snowball effect, turning into something way bigger than it originally was. And I'm afraid to talk about it given my wellbeing in comparison to others.
I have little issue giving my opinion, it's getting personal problems out of my system that I have a problem with...
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I wasn't saying you were ungrateful, friend, I was only saying that reacting differently (no matter how so) does not make you anything but sentient. Well, anyway, maybe there's a problem beyond that inability. Something causing you to feel that way. It might be a past experience stored in your subconscious, or an active memory of an event triggered by doing so, or even just a simple difference in brain chemistry (which may or may not be a diagnosable issue).
Everyone is different, it doesn't make you bad or anything like that because you have a hard time with it. I mean, you had the bravery to speak it in front of a bunch of strangers who don't know you, that means that there's a strong chance of you being able to work on that inability until you can overcome it. You can do anything you put your mind to, and sometimes you just need a little help from another person.
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Note: This isn't directed at you, it's just me ranting.
If a man has everything, he can still weep. Emotions are relative, what might be sad for some people mightn't be sad for others and regardless whether someone has a lot of stuff and a great life, or has no stuff and a terrible life, being sad is STILL being sad. A person who is rich, has good grades and a perfect family, whose sad cause he lost his favourite teddy bear, is STILL sad, that's something people forget. And a lot of people, they believe, that because someone has a lot of stuff that they're not entitled to be sad, which is ridiculous, sadness is a core human emotion, it's felt by everyone, every single person in humanity (except maybe people with severe mania disorder) will feel sad at least once (though more often than not, about half the time) of their life.
IF you were never given a lollipop you wouldn't feel very sad, if someone gave you a lollipop you'd feel happy. If you were always given a lollipop, given enough time, you'd get used to having a lollipop, then if someone suddenly stopped giving you the lollipop, you've lost something, so you feel sad. In this way, emotions are relative to your past emotions, if you've been given a lot of things, smaller problems will make you upset and that's as valid as being upset for any bigger problem. Being sad is core to being human, everyone can feel it and everyone should be entitled to get advice for their issues, regardless how trivial the problem sounds to an external audience.
Another thing I've noticed, a quote someone told me on a different forum that just completely resonates with everything I've seen. "It's trendy to be a survivor". That is, in this community, it's COOL to have a hard life. People like to brag about how bad their life is, as if it gives them entitlement or extra wisdom or even as a use to gain attention. Not everyone does this but I know a few people who do, including me at one point! I like to think I don't do it anymore, but about a year ago I was definitely trying to emphasize to people that my life was bad (which it really isn't). And I think this is something that a lot of people do, is try to be cool or seem like a warrior for having a bad life, and in some cases, belittling those who don't.
So this is mainly a rant, but my point is, don't feel guilty for not having a terrible life. Feeling sad, feeling stressed, they make you human and some people work without advice, some people work with advice, whether you do or don't is like whether you have black hair or blonde hair, it doesn't make you worse or better. So if you do want advice on something, even if it's something that seems ridiculous or trivial, then post your advice. You're not happy and you want to be happy, that's ALL that matters, why you're not happy isn't a problem, if it's something seemingly trivial it might even be easier to solve in which case advice can actually have a very good effect on you! If you don't want to say anything, that's fine too, but don't be afraid to say something because it's trivial. Every man feels sad at times, some more than others, the situation they're in can make a difference, but a lot of the time (believe it or not) it can be genetics and based on personality. There are some people in terrible situations who are very happy and fulfilled (helping others, finding religion, etc) and some who are in a great situation that are very depressed. So don't worry, if you feel sad and you want advice, then don't feel guilty for that, we want you to be happy, no matter what!
Also, if someone replies with "Well at least your situation isn't as bad as MINE" or something similar, just politely reply "That's doesn't help in the slightest, it just makes me feel more guilty and makes me feel more upset". I hated when people did that, other peoples rants aren't there for you to brag about how bad your life is...
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Thank you both very much for the advice. It does help.
And it's easier, at least on the internet, to speak to strangers about my issues. Because I have more anonymity here, nobody really knows my personality or has any expectations of me as opposed to where I usually post.