The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Kyriin on June 07, 2012, 09:26:50 AM
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This is more of an advice thread.
I know I never use the forums anymore but I feel this could be beneficial to some of us that end up dealing with drama either frequently, every now and then, or when the one time comes and you don't know what to do because it's such a clusterheap.
This very small guide can help us all be friends, no matter where we are on the web! Isn't that a good thing?
Before I start, know the difference between drama and something that actually needs to be worked out and resolved. For example, if you are having an argument with a friend, and all of a sudden you hate each other for some immature reason -- just talk about it, resolve it, move on. However, if you're continually dealing with the same people about different things that arise dramatic activity... then it's probably drama. Just learn how to judge between things.
Here are some basic rules when you come across drama that could involve you. They range from situations that might involve you and an individual or group, or potential involvement in ongoing or existing ones. They could be harsh, pick them at your own discretion when applying them to real situations.
- Don't be stubborn. Be open to everything. The faster you can resolve it, the better. So if you can be open to your own mistakes and wrongs, it's a huge step in both the situation and your maturity. Don't fight for an argument that you can't win. You may swap places with the drama maker.
- You have better things to do. Just ignore it. Opt out of it. If you have no problem at all with what's happening, then just back off and let the other(s) deal with it. Go make a cup of coffee and watch a movie while the internet is raring with mindless dribble without you.
- It's not your loss. Let them realize this. It's theirs. If they don't want the loss, they'll realize they need to fix it. This is well used in conjunction with the previous point. Let them come running back. If they don't, they're not worth your time anyway.
- Let it be one-sided. If you engage in it, it's your own fault, and it also becomes your problem too. So, again, ignore it.
- Kill them with kindness. If someone has a grudge on you, and you're not sure why, be nice to them. Be the one that nobody has a reason to dislike. If people like you, people will be friendly to you. Drama isn't really friendly. Do you catch my drift? And be sincere. Not sarastic. Even if you have to fake it. Facetiousness is just rude, not kind.
- Use block/delete features. Don't want to hear about it? Easy! Nearly everything has something that you can use to prevent others contacting you by request.
- Don't retaliate. It lowers you to their level. Don't turn into them, be the good guy.
- And lastly, don't start it! If there's no source, there's no drama. Easy stuff!
Only a handful of us like drama, and it's tempting to be a part of. This tempt overpowers the ease of ignoring it. Learn to overpower the tempt, and overcome online drama.
Furries (yes, an unfair generalization) are excellent at generating internet drama and a lot of the time people get sick of it. It might seem this post is targeted, but it isn't. I've just seen a lot of the stuff around everywhere and heard of even more. It might help TFF with being even more of a friendly place (whether or not this is possible.. I don't know!) if we know how to deal with conflict. Because it can, and does, happen everywhere. Hopefully everyone one day will be able to realize how to mend relationships with people, whether it be friendship, intimate, negative, or anything.
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Thanks for that guide Kyriin :D I'm sure it will help in the long run :P
I am one of those people who like drama, but not drama between friends. Which is good, because there's going to be a bit of drama coming up in the next couple of days. Unfortunately, this drama is drama that can't really be avoided, but it's to do with my clan. Political drama if you will, not engaging in the drama in this situation can cause more problems then engaging with the drama.
Though I will definitely take some points into regard. Not to be stubborn and kill them with kindness :P The other ones I don't think apply when a lot of people get affected by a situation :P .
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Well, of course, there's the drama you have to face and the drama that is good.
But mainly this is for the immature drama that circulates around the internet all the time.
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- Kill them with kindness. If someone has a grudge on you, and you're not sure why, be nice to them. Be the one that nobody has a reason to dislike. If people like you, people will be friendly to you. Drama isn't really friendly. Do you catch my drift? And be sincere. Not sarastic. Even if you have to fake it. Facetiousness is just rude, not kind.
Sometimes I'd rather be ignored by a person I don't like than to have them force kindness on me. It can make me dislike them more. :P
That's not always the case though.
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Another hint: Always stay calm and think everything through. DON'T GET MAD. Getting angry will only make you do things you'll regret.