The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Jyynx on January 28, 2012, 03:57:10 AM
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I understand forum administrators that there two threads for what I'm about to write, but please let me slide... I need help / an opurtunity to rant... Ok so I'm getting into this collar thing plus all this but I don't want tell anyone yet... My father came banging down my door telling me to open it while I had my collar on, and I nearly got it off in time.... I would confess, but he considers himself and his family "high and holy people"... On top of that he's bipolar so I have no idea what his reaction would be... Anyways were in the car going to a restraunt, me and him, and my minds just racing, worrying that I'll slip up and he will figure it out... On top of that we ironically bumped into a furry couple and my father grunted at their collars and laughed a little... God im so confused on what to do... Does anyone know any good ways to hide my collar? Also can I get some advice on being around dad? Plus I wanna tell my best friend, but his mom is a psychiatrist and I think she's figuring out in a furry... What should I do someone help me!!!!!!!!
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I think you worry too much about things that don't really matter.
If it's stressing you out so much to have a collar, then don't wear it. Wearing a collar is not a requirement, and no one will think you're any less of a furry for not having one, it's just a thing some people do. If you don't want other people knowing you're a furry, that's fine, don't tell them. I don't make a point of letting people know I'm into furries unless I know they won't have a problem with it, otherwise I don't really see a reason to bring it up to people who don't like it / don't know about it / don't care about it. It's not really something to hide, but there are people out there who don't look too fondly on furries, so it's best not to blatantly advertise it. But, anyway, right, the collar. Judging from what I've seen, it kind of seems like you're only wearing a collar because you think it's a thing that furries have to do. If I'm wrong about that, I apologize, but that's just what it seems like. If this is the case then you should know that it's not necessary, lots of furries don't wear one, and I would discourage it if you're not ready for the judgment that'll come from it. There are people out there who will probably pick fun at you for wearing a collar, so if you're not ready to deal with that then I would say it's not worth it. If you really really want to wear one and only want to hide it from your dad and wear it elsewhere then it's not really that hard to hide a collar. I've seen some people hide them in their shoe or attach them to the belt loops on their pants, some even pass them off as bracelets. Then, of course, there's always the pockets. I feel that I should also mention that the furry fandom is just that: a fandom. It's not something that should rule your life or that you should dedicate your being to, it shouldn't even be something to lose sleep over. Some people like to see being a furry as something that's branded in their soul or something that they should change their life for, but to most people it's not really like that; it's just an interest in anthromorphic characters, whether it be in writing, art, roleplay, or whatever. You should only put into it whatever you're comfortable with, nothing more.
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I know I know often I don't make myself clear- I love the collar- love it with my life, in fact I have it on now, and I understand that it's not required etc. but my life is fairly stress inducing and the fandom is my way of releasing stress... It's just that I have a high opinion of respect and I fear being thought negatively of by my parents... And I would wear my collar more, but I don't want to do so alone... I just don't know anymore...
Post Merge: January 28, 2012, 04:32:37 AM
I would also like to point out that I want my friends and family to see me as a furry... I just want to "ease into it".... I really want a way to break it to them if I can, but I just don't know... I'm so confused...
Post Merge: January 28, 2012, 04:45:42 AM
You know I fret over nothing all the time... Thank you sir, I've slowed down and thought. Why should my stress reliever induce stress? Peeps are gonna have to get over it, but I'll let nature take its course... Thread completed.
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his mom is a psychiatrist and I think she's figuring out in a furry...
my mom is a phychiatrist as well. she thinks me a phenomena to study. actually she has thought of doing papers on the subject. if his mom has the same mind set as my moms then she will ask a bunch of questions about the fandom and then ponder it. she would more than likely think that it is quite amazing. and as for the rest of the collar thing, i wear mine around my house all the time. but the sqedual every one is on it doesnt matter because they get home two hours after i get off school. my dad has seen me in it twice and told me not to wear it agian. hes asked about it and i cant tell him about the fandom because i know that he would make me drop it...so the way i see it, you could stand your ground as i have done, or you could explain it to him and see how that works.....
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I'm getting a little more confident... I actually wore the collar during my hockey game today and it was blatantly visible yet nobody noticed! As for dad... Well I'm defiantly not talking to him today... He's in one of his moods... Forgot his "happy medicine"... Oh well... I'll figure it out
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well...good luck!
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Now I'm just using this thread for more ranting... Considering I figured that my father and I's run in with those furrys I figured he would forget about, but no he proceeded to bring it up at the dinner table (keep in mind that no one I know knows I'm a furry) where he almost started chriticise them, and dumbfoundedly I defended them which I was met with an odd look... Aye I need a drink and time alone...
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mm....well, i cant see why its such a bad thing....but if my parents don't know by now then they truly are stupid....
as for you, i believe that a better approach would be to sit him down and talk it out. though i do believe that in my situation would be hopeless...
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Mmph, I'll figure it out... Just about dumped out 100+ rounds of 380 just thinking it over... (yeah I'm still a minor and dad had to take me and watch me, even though it's north Carolina... LOL!) shootin is my "thinking time"
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as far as the collar situation goes u could do what i do and when ur alone or with other furrys and NOT ur parents just wear it normally around ur neck and when ur with people who for lack of a better term frown upon furrys just clip it around ur ankle and fo the other part just try to not bring it up when theyre in bad moods and u shuld b fine and as far as shooting being ur thinking time same here its like stress therapy for me
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I'm a little bit more concerned that your father is bipolar and forgets to take his meds. That can be extremely dangerous and I know someone who has personally suffered just recently due to such a situation.
As for the collar, if you really want to wear it, just wear it when you can. Perhaps around your father, you can carry it in a pocket or put it on your leg, under your pants. You'll secretly have it and wont have to worry about throwing away part of your identity. While I think it would probably be best not to have it at all, I can understand the pain of being shamed or frightened away from something that makes you happy.
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i couldnt give up my collar if i tried....to attached
and i do agree the 'no meds' situation isnt the best....especially if they are having the positive effect they are suposed to have...
and as for shooting being your 'thinking time' i do the same...but with people and it airsoft....
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Nice ill stick with paintball though ^_^
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word of advice: the more people who see you wearing it (it doesn't have to be your parents) the more confident you will be.
challenge/confidence booster: go out with friends, blatantly wearing it
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Actually I must agree, and to any others who refrain from telling others who may be reading this, your absolutly correct. I've actually gone around and told my 3 closest friends, and i do wear my collar around them. And it really does help with the confidence ^_^
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Since you do have your own room, wear it there, close your door if you can, listen to footsteps and remember the routine. I"m sure that if you closed your door all the way, that your family members would just knock on the door and ask you if they can come in, or if it's locked, to unlock it. Also, wear it when you sleep. Some of us furs do that, wearing collars to sleep. It's not going to kill you of course, it's just nice how you can hid it if your parents are suddenly in your room, just place a blanket near your neck. Also, you could just wear the collar elsewhere, maybe at night for a walk or something. I stuff all of my collars in a drawer where anyone can easily pull out and see it, as it would be the first thing anyone would see. Realistically, I'm wearing mine right now, black, leather, spikey, while I'm on the computer. No one is really home, so you can durp around with it on at home if your alone.
Also, what collar do you have? Leather, nylon? Buckled? etc.?
It shouldn't be too hard to take off and stash it somewhere in your room..?
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Well yeah... I use to just stash it in my room before I started just taking it everywhere- but mom always goes through my stuff...
Anyways my old collar was black leather with an old silver buckle... But i decided it looked gothicish so I made a red one from an old tie and a salvaged clip buckle (so much more quieter!). ^_^