Print Page - Write a Paragraph, push the story

Creative Arts and Media => Creative Writing => Topic started by: Daemon on January 22, 2012, 05:40:52 PM

Title: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on January 22, 2012, 05:40:52 PM

PLEASE READ RULES\/

I had an idea to make a type of forum game where you wrote a single paragraph, and then let other people continue it off of you, like a single story written by multiple people. I got the idea from a friend who told me of a college writing exercise, where two people would email back and forth to each other, each writing a single paragraph until the story was over. I put it into this section only because it should be viewed a bit more serious than anything in the Forum Games section, but less so than the Serious RP. In truth, this is a great exercise to practice writing. Let me just lay down the rules, then.

1: Normal color text is canon, yellow is out of writing, A.K.A., discussion.
~~2: Don't make useless 1 line paragraphs.~~
3: When writing dialogue, make sure to do more than just one character.
4: No introducing a million and three characters.
5: Stay away from touchy subjects.
6: Don't 180 the storyline, it gets confusing.
7: Keep the story going!
8: AND ONLY WRITE ONE PARAGRAPH!
(9): ~~Oh, and wait a couple posts before posting another paragraph, so, say I type a paragraph, then Macid does, I can't type another one, otherwise it'll turn to just two people writing it.~~
(10): please refrain from using your fursona.
(11): minimum of 4 lines.
Sorry for the flood of rules, if their is any that you think need to be removed/changed, PM me.

*rules are a to change based on differing situations.

Each page in this topic counts as a chapter. If we get to "chapter" 50, then the story is considered over, unless it actually hasn't ended.

Ready? Let's go!

CHARACTER LIST

Otebon (Prtagonist #1/3)
Tammo (Protagonist 2/3)
Sarah (secondary character)
Marcus (Protagonist 3/3)
Mark(Antagonist?)
Zat(I'm not even sure, still under development)

The sun shone brightly, unhindered by a cloudless sky. Birds flew, casting shadows upon the ground. The snow of the past winter was beginning to melt, and everything was getting warmer. Even the trees seemed to sense the change, budding new leaves like a change of clothes. Spring was coming.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on January 22, 2012, 06:10:03 PM

I love the idea. Let's do this thing! Though I do have a question... Dialogue, by the rules of the conventions of writing, take up multiple lines as each new speaker and idea is introduced and explored through it's own paragraph. Perhaps a minimum line requirement, like say 5, would be more appropriate? You're the leader here, so your choice. It's just a thought.

Otebon glanced out the window as he passed by on the way to the kitchen. It was nearing noon, he'd been working diligently on his research for many hours already, and he was getting hungry. Thoughts, as always, tumbled and leaped through Otebon's head in their chaotic dance that only he could make sense of. Upon glancing at the sun, he thought of the chemical fusion occurring 98.6 million miles away, he thought of the time it took for the light given off by that reaction to reach his eyes, and he laughed at the "dark" notion that if the sun were to mysteriously disappear or spontaneously erupt, we wouldn't know it for 8 minutes. He thought of his research, even away from his desk thoughts of pi-orbitals, hybridization, and optimization sprinted through his mind. Mostly though, he thought of making himself a ham sandwich.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Leiton on January 22, 2012, 06:25:47 PM

This sounds like fun. Otebon already pretty much said what I was going to :P

Tammo ran about outside, playing in what was left of the snow. His sister, Sarah, watched him from her spot on the porch. She was writing, just as usual. She was always either writing or reading. She even drew sometimes. They were the only ones who lived at their small home, but they were happy. Sarah was only a few years older than Tammo, but she was the perfect mother-figure. Tammo hopped into one of the trees and stared up at the birds in the sky. If only he could fly...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on January 22, 2012, 06:57:49 PM

Yes, I think a minimum of 5 lines would have been better. I also want to add that I will be adding a new rule: Don't use your fursona, please. This is supposed to be a story-like theme, so I'd prefer to keep it at one main character for a little bit, and to make sure that no one complains when their fursona is forced to do something. But, it's too late to do that now, I suppose. So, Otebon, I'm going to borrow your character for the storyline.

Otebon strolled leisurely towards the fridge. Opening it, he remembered the days when he were younger that his parents would tell him about a penguin that, faster than the speed of light, would run in and turn the light within the fridge on upon opening. He let out a soft chuckle at the preposterous thought, as he removed the ham and bread from the fridge. Outside, the birds were chirping softly, loudly, and every other level of noise between.

In other words, Tammo, only Otebon's character is canon. I say this only because he posted first. Also, Otebon, since it is your character, you are allowed to make the most decisions on that characters part, for example, who his "arch-nemisis" is, although others may invent one.

also, let's establish a good storyline after a few more posts, please.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on January 22, 2012, 07:07:56 PM

Oh... :$ Sorry about that. Didn't even think of character limits. or things like that. I completely agree that we keep the main characters here. To be fair though, you might wish to bring in yours and that way we have a triumvirate of protagonists (assuming Sarah is a secondary character / foil) to write of...

Also, yes, it should be that in this story all characters are open to be used. I completely agree and in fact like your post. Silly penguin...

Grabbing all the necessary and healthy parts of his lunch (Bread, ham, horseradish, pepper jack cheese, a plate...), Otebon quickly constructed this culinary masterpiece and moved outside to bask in the sun. He absentmindedly ate, barely tasting anything except the most pungent of flavors (an annoying side effect of his degenerate nerves) as he watched Tammo and Sarah play around.

"Hey you two," Otebon said as he said as he finished his sandwich and rubbed his palms together to get rid of the crumbs. His father would have called it "polishing his hands". "Come on inside. It's time to go!"

Is this sort of thing alright? Otherwise it becomes a bit of a stretch for conversation...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on January 22, 2012, 07:14:14 PM

Perfectly fine, in fact. You can use others characters by the way. I'll wait a few more posts before introducing my character, though.

And Sarah would have to be considered a secondary character, therefore, is not pro/an -tagonist.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Leiton on January 22, 2012, 07:19:59 PM

Sorry bout that. :S
I just introduced Sarah as a secondary character so we could have more dialogue if needed. A story with only one character is usually not a very good story unless done extremely well. <.<

Tammo hopped out of the tree and ran to the porch. "Hey, I'm hungry! Can you make me a sammich, too? Pweez?"
Sarah finished writing a word and closed her half-filled book. "Where are we going?"
Tammo looked over at her. "We're going somewhere? Where are we going?" He asked Otebon, clearly over his hunger.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on January 22, 2012, 07:26:43 PM

And so comes the third protagonist...

Otebon looked at the pair, apprehensive. Should I tell them? He opened his mouth, about to explain why they were leaving, hen the sound of a old pickup truck pulling in the drive way made him look over. It was wrecked, and appeared to have some sort of dust on it. Probably sand. The man that pulled himself out of the car was familiar to Otebon; he had known him all his life. He was a human, a minority in this part of the country. Marcus walked over to them. "Otebon, it has happened. We've found the code." Marcus' face was grim, and Otebon knew immediately he had to remove the young ones, Sarah and Tammo, from the country. Before the riots.

I won't be back on for a while, so I'll let you two take over. For now, just post whenever until a third person joins in.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on January 22, 2012, 11:30:02 PM

Well I'll try to pick up on this. Excuse my horrendous writing style- I usually keep my stories to dialogues between two characters, a character and an object, et cetera. Anywho I doubt I'll add a character at any point- but if I can help keep this up I'll consider my work done.

Otebon thought about the code; a compilation of zeros and ones that, on its own, seemed so harmless. The code that is destined to let loose every secret of every company, every government... Every secret. Otebon looked at Marcus "Are you sure?" the silence that followed was almost palpable. "I'm sure. And if we have it..." then so do others... Otebon stared into his friends eyes knowingly. There was not much time. Soon, a virus would spread, and nothing could ever be the same.

Sorry if it's a bit out there. It's just my style xD

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on January 22, 2012, 11:40:59 PM

Otebon returned to reality quickly and immediately turned towards the house. "Come on you two," he said absent-mindedly as he nearly ran back into the house. Being a bit of a plotter, supplies had been laid out for this day well in advance and an escape route had already been planned for the children. Now that what Marcus and Otebon had feared was happening, their quiet little life in retirement from this madness was over, he just hoped that the kids didn't think this was a game.

What kind of things do people want to write about? What kind of pieces do you wish to play with? Action / Espionage / Magic / Technology / etc. As we write, let's kind of consider the path about what we want to allow as the main pieces of the story. Try to answer questions like "Is there special powers in this world?" "If so, who has them?" rather quickly as if this becomes a spy novel, Tammo is going to fall out quickly...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on January 23, 2012, 02:01:35 AM

Tammo won't fall out; he already knows. I'm thinking a techno-virus, a computer code that 100% understanding grants you powers, and that there is going to be riots.

Otebon went towards the escape route, still plotting the next 10 moves in this game of chess. He hardly noticed as the man in a black suit emerged from a doorway, holding a knife. Tammo screamed, and Sarah dropped to the floor whimpering. The man lunged forward, aiming fr Otebon's left breast; his heart. Otebon reacted mechanically, bringing hes left hand across the man's wrist, causing him to reflexively drop the knife. He picked up a nearby vase, and broke it over the man's head, who stumbled to the ground unconscious. He turned, pulling Sarah and Tammo by their wrists. "They're already inside the house. We have to burn it." Marcus nodded, and grabbed a match from his pocket. Sarah shouted "No!" and ran back inside the house. Marcus swore and ran after her.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on January 25, 2012, 07:44:47 PM

Sarah was rushing about inside the house, collecting small things. Mementos Marcus realised, trying to catch her, to explain that it was not safe inside. Nobody else seemed to be inside. Sarah stopped in front of a bookshelf, frantically looking for old albums and keepsakes as Marcus caught up to her. "We need to go, just leave it!" He yelled. She didnt respond, just cired and gripped the shelf. He didn't notice when another figure approached from the left.

So you're thinking like a scifi/drama thriller kind of thing? Althight, I can work with that. But by what kind of powers do you mean? I was thinking the kind of thing that let you break security protocols and cut through encryptions- The kind of thing that would inevitably start WW3 and well, cause riots. Either way, for now at least, I'll just follow your lead.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on January 25, 2012, 07:51:38 PM

I think we will learn when Daemon wishes us to learn... Until then, let's get some gear.

Marcus spun around thinking that another assailant had gotten into the house, but relaxed visibly when he saw it was Otebon. The Wolf didn't look happy.

"There were another two in the kitchen," he said while he put a small pocket knife back onto the loop of his belt. Otebon rarely went anywhere without it. "I think that's all of them, but more will be coming. I'll get our gear while you get the kids out of here and burn the house. We have to get secure." Otebon smiled widely. "I'm thinking we should head north, give Mack a visit. He'd be more than happy to take care of the kids while we-" Otebon's smile suddenly went away as he saw Sarah. "While we... do what we have to..."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on January 25, 2012, 11:11:56 PM

I'm not the only one coming up with the story! xD I'm sure anything you guys come up with will be 100% perfect!

Marcus nodded. "I'm sure Mark's kids'll love it too." He smiled at the look of wonder on Sarah's face. "But now, I think it's time we left." Outside, Tammo was hidden in a bush, quivering. "I saw two more go in. Did you..." Otebon nodded, and Tammo gulped. "Where are we going?" Marcus looked at Otebon. "A friends. He has kids for you two to play with while we take care of business. It'll be a long drive, but I'm sure you guys'll be glad to get there." Marcus led them to the car, turning to see Otebon light the match and throw it on the house. Sarah clutched her spiral bound notebook tightly. Otebon climbed into the car just as Marcus turned the key in the ignition. Off to Mark's first. Then the lab.

No idea what state they're in, so one of you could decide if you wish, okay? :)

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on January 26, 2012, 07:10:41 PM

How about we leave some ambiguity? Just don't say anything about states. We've managed to operate so far, and putting a geographic label on it could pigeonhole us later on.

The toad was empty when they pulled out. This was somehat unusual as it was a major thoroughfare. "Watch for any movement. I don't like this..." Marcus trailed off. Tammo stared out meekly "Where are all the people?" The question, said aloud, brought silence to the others.
Indeed, where are all the people? Otebon was afraid of the answer.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on January 26, 2012, 07:20:32 PM

Otebon reached back behind his seat and pulled the large duffel that Marcus and he had taken from the house before they had to leave. He opened it quickly and mechanically, a product of the training Otebon had thought he'd never have to use again. The bag was full of everything from enough MREs to sustain Marcus and Otebon for weeks if they were careful, two laptops, clothes, cooking utensils, sleeping bags, tools, and a weapon satchel. Inside the smaller (but vastly more important bag) was an M23 rifle with some scope attachements, Marcus's P90 (Otebon still didn't know why he favored that weapon... it was so strange), and a pair of M9s.

I want to write more... but we only get a paragraph...

I WANNA WRITE!!!

By the way: Awesome thread Daemon. I'm having too much fun!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on January 27, 2012, 11:23:39 AM

Haha, thanks. I messed up in my previous post. Was having enough fun that I derped straight into 3 paragraphs. @.@ Won't happen again.

Marcus glanced at Otebon. "Keep em out of view of the young ones." He said. Otebon glanced back at Tammo and Sarah, both having fallen asleep on the car ride. The ordeal must have been great. Otebon sighed, then shut the bag, but not before pulling out one of the M9s. "We should have seen someone else on the road by now." Otebon said. "At the risk of seeming cliche, it's too quiet." Marcus stared out over the dashboard. "I know."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on January 30, 2012, 05:23:19 PM

Did you mean cliched? Because Clique makes no sense to me. And did it have to be M9's >.> Such a heavy pistol doesnt seem ideal for a "running from assailants" kind of thing. Something with a greater magazine seems more logical. Oh well that's just me complaining because I'm not exactly a fan xD And who knows. I could be wrong and this turns into an assault operation.

The road turned on to a freeway, which was also empty. "Marcus, I'm really not liking this." Marcus gripped the wheel more tightly as he responded "Dont talk about it. We dont want to wake them up." Otebon fingered his Berretta, wondering if it could protect them. Can anything? He didn't have an answer. "Otebon!" Marcus whispered franticly "There's a tuck coming up right behind us, tinted windows, speeding." Suddenly Tammo woke up crying.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on January 30, 2012, 05:47:21 PM

Otebonhid the M9 in his lap and glanced back at the oncoming truck before looking down at Tammo. He tried to smile, but his mind was already racing ahead to a million theories, none of them pleasant. There were already so many things wrong with this already. They had the kids with them, the roads had been clear till now, and they still had a long way to go before they could claim even a modicum of safety. There was just too much to do and not enough time if whoever was pursuing them had gotten this close and had the ability to lay a trap of this strength. To Otebon's mind, there were several ways to play this game, but only two that really made sense. They could either run for it and hope that their speed was able to break free from this trap, or they could try to out-maneuver their opponents...

Eh... you're absolutely right. M9s may not be the best choice, but they're fairly run of the mill. Easy to get, maintain, store, and use. Next time we have a choice of armament, how 'bout you choose as I did this time?

Also, what is our story about why Marcus and Otebon have Tammo and Sarah? I'd prefer to not go with "Gay Couple" as Otebon (me) isn't gay... I'm happy with me being a room mate or something. I just use the house for weekends and research or something.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story (more writers, please!)
Post by: Daemon on January 30, 2012, 08:59:12 PM

Otebon and Marcus are just close friends and roommates. Marcus is a character I created long ago, going on a year now, and he is 100% straight as an arrow. And, I am sorry for the HORRIBLE misspelling of "cliche", as I pride myself on my spelling prowess. Anyway, shall we make things more exciting, then?

The truck was about five meters behind them, closing fast. The passenger window rolled down, and a man in a suit leaned out with a megaphone. "Slow down! You are under request to be brought to a secure facility to keep you safe." Marcus glanced at Otebon. "I don't believe a single word of his crap. Pass me my P90." Otebon tossed a strange look at Marcus, shook his head, and pulled the sub-machine gun out. As he passed it to Marcus, he said "Don't kill anyone." Marcus laughed quietly. "So long as their driver is competent, worse damage done would be to the tires." Marcus rolled down the window and started to lean out. "Oh, and grab the wheel."

Also, requesting moar writers! Even if you have very little skill, it would be a help to move this story to the next stage in development! :D

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on January 31, 2012, 05:58:37 PM

Technically a P-90 isn't an SMG, but a PDW. Difference is negligible really but... Oh well the gun nut in me is showing >.<

Marcus rolled down the wndow and leaned out, and the man in the truck beckoned to him as if drawing him out further. "Otebon, speed up!" And with that Marcus opened fire into the front tires. The small PDW jerked around as him let loose a long 15-round burst. "Marcus!" Otebon yelled from within "Marcus they're not slowing down!" Marcus pulled back into the car, returning to the wheel. "They're got solid tires, and it looks like the cab and engine block have been armored." Both Tammo and Sarah were crying now.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on January 31, 2012, 06:36:56 PM

Really? :? I'm usually one of the gun-nuts... but I didn't know that... Oh well. The More you Know!

Also (as I don't think it was outlined) it seems that Otebon and Marcus are the two adults while Tammo and Sarah are children, but how old are they?

"Hush now you two," Otebon said calmly. He immediately regretted opening his mouth. He hated that when his adrenaline began to flow, his external expressions calmed. It was all because of his dissociative mind and his overly-logical mind. "Marcus and I need to be able to hear right now. Hush." Otebon adjusted the wheel in his hand slightly to keep their car away from the truck and looked over at Marcus. "Then I suggest that you aim for something else if you must shoot at all. Try their windshield." It wasn't that Otebon believed anything that the man in the truck had said. In fact, he shared Marcus' opinion that it was a ploy. He just didn't like that Marcus was so willing to use what little ammo they had. They had been caught with their pants down and now were running to the one person that they knew could keep the kids safe while they did what was necessary. The only problem with that was that Mark was still a good distance away...

As another interesting question, what is the prevalence of Furries in this world? Is it Humans and Furries about 50/50? Predominantly one or the other? Exclusively one? We've said "a man with a megaphone" so I'm guessing there are humans, but in what degree?

Also, I'm going to start coloring speech. It seems to make it easier to see...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 08, 2012, 11:01:24 PM

I got the OK to keep it going with just two people, Otebon. Also I love the idea of putting dialogue in blue- it is easier to read and it looks awesome xD Speaking of Mark I'm thinking ahead and believe that there shouldnt be any issues there. I want to avoid making it too action-packed, y'know? We can obliterate the whole place later on but for now I think that they should actually be provided sanctuary.

Marcus switched the little PDW to semi-automatic and put three rounds into the driver side windshield "Otebon! It's reinforced, too! The thing is a tank!" Otebon quickly looked about; they had to remove the truck. "Marcus! Take back the wheel!" he yelled, grabbing for the gun bag. Inside was his M23 and some API amunition: if he had to waste it, he wanted to be sure that it would work. "Keep the wheel steady-" His voice was little more than a whisper.

Heh, Armor-piercing incindiaries. More of me showing through but that is some impressive ammunition.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 09, 2012, 12:55:59 AM

Marcus took the wheel quickly and Otebon immediately began to slip a magazine of Armor-Piercing rounds into the M23 carbine. As he did this, he rolled down the window. With him sitting in the passenger seat of the car, he wouldn't get a good shot at the truck that was following them unless he did something incredibly stupid... like lean out the window of the car...

Have at it Aoren. Also, good job on getting this to go ahead with the fewer people. I'm just sorry that I can't write more. I guess I'm just paragraph happy when I write. I want to write like 4-5...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 09, 2012, 05:34:36 PM

Otebon leaned out of the window, knowing that it was a bad idea. Taking aim he called out "Keep me steady! I can't stay out for long!" Marcus responce was masked by the wind whipping past his ears, but the vehicle began to slow. The truck did not. "Marcus, what are you doing!?" Otebon tried to stabilise himself further when one of the men in the truck began to lean out, the machine weaving behind the small car. Otebon tried to hit him but there was just no way- and then a shot rang out. The M23 spun out of his hands and his left paw was torn open. Otebon quickly retracted into the car again- more an act of the adrenaline than thought. "Otebon I have to stop!" Marcus cried "Cars! Traffic! Otebon!" The rapidly approaching wall of vehicles, deadlocked in front of them with a thousand people crying for space loomed closer with every second.

Bwuahahahahaha M23... Gone. Perhaps we can retrieve it momentarily; I was just in a sadistic mood. And I know where you're coming from. I'm finding that I have to shave off most of mine in order to really be one paragraph and not a wall of text xD But I feel I may have added too many elements for my paragraph this time, feels like I may have oversteeped my bounds a little o.o

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 09, 2012, 07:31:30 PM

Clutching his hand, Otebon nodded towards the shoulder of the road. "Drive on the shoulder," he said as he tried to stop the bleeding. Otebon gave his hand a quick inspection, and it didn't look bad. The pain was intense, but the wound looked like it would heal. "Get us off this road as soon as possible. We can't wait too long here."

We need to stop writing dialogue... I'm a sucker for dialogue, but if we continue then I can't write anymore as this is the end of a complete thought. :( I wanna write!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 09, 2012, 08:00:29 PM

Marcus looked at his friends hand "You need to wrap that up." he said somewhat panicingly. The truck was still behind them, but the passenger had stopped firing. "I dont like how they've gone quiet..." He trailed off. Tammo was crying. Sarah looked as if she had seen a ghost. "There's no getting off of this road. Trees are too thick, and there's no movement ahead. And I dont like being around this many people..." He paused for a moment, slowing to a stop amid the vehicles. The truck blocked them in, bumping them slightly. "Actually... Get the kids. We're going for a run."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 10, 2012, 12:06:32 AM

Tearing a piece of gauze from the small medkit that was under the passenger-side seat and wrapping his hand with it, Otebon sighed. "You know Marcus," he said with no humor. "Sometimes... Sometimes I hate you."

Grabbing an M9 in one hand and kicking open the door next to him, Otebon leveled his pistol at the car. He wanted to give Marcus enough time to get Sarah and Tammo away. While Otebon covered him, Marcus threw the bag over his shoulders, ran to the back seat, threw open that door, grabbed both Sarah and Tammo in his hands and started running.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 10, 2012, 12:17:14 AM

Marcus, Sarah and Tammo ran off into the crowd, weaving and bobbing through the confused masses. The truck did not respond- Otebon didn't like it. It was as if they were watching them, or doing nothing at all. He hurried after Marcus and the girls- the crowd was quiet as well. Hundreds of people all silent. All staring- it was as if the world was muted. He almost wanted to scream, to ask why they were quiet... But he was too busy running.

Quiet xD Silence will fall.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 10, 2012, 12:45:40 AM

Otebon ran past too many people to count. They stood as still as statues as he moved around them. Otebon was trying to catch up to Marcus, but he was just too far away. That's when his injured hand struck one of the still people and Otebon noticed two things. One: his hand no longer hurt. Two: the people were exactly like statues. The person he struck tipped over and fell into a second person, and a third, and down the line till the entire group collapsed in a strung out heap. That's when it struck Otebon. He'd been researching something like this for years, but had never been able to get the right energy density for use in an Area-based Weapon's system. He was surprised that they'd gotten a Neural Stun Device operational so quickly...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on February 10, 2012, 03:36:44 AM

Otebon put on a fresh burst of speed. "Marcus!" He shouted. He heard Marcus' voice ring out "I know! They got NSD operational!" Otebon caught up to Marcus, and noticed Sarah was looking around with wonder. "Why do you think all these people are here?" She asked. "Are they playing a game?" Tammo looked at Sarah and said "What is a NSD?" Marcus, turned to the pair. "We don't have time for this, okay? There are some very bad men after us, and we need to keep moving."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 10, 2012, 09:38:26 PM

They ran together this time, not through the cars but into the treeline. Marcus didn't know why the NSD wasn't affecting them, and he didn't want to know. They were now short a vehicle and a rifle with some evidentally highly advanced organisation after them; they had to avoid every trace of civilisation if they hoped to make it through this now. How ironic the thought forced its way into his head, almost as if it wasn't his How IRONIC that they had tried so very hard to get away, to avoid these complications. How ironic that they had barely made it down a two roads. How ironic that someone else seemed to know their every move. The thoughts pounded his head as he ran.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 10, 2012, 10:10:51 PM

Marcus had to really work to keep up with Otebon as they ran through the trees. The cadence of his thoughts certainly helped, but a few thousand years of evolution weren't overcome that easily. You and those digitigrade legs Otebon, Marcus thought as he began to breath heavily through his mouth and nose. You don't even work out and you can run for days. Humans just aren't cut out for this junk. Marcus glanced back to see how far they'd gone and was surprised to see their progress. In their haste to get away, they had already put about a mile and a half between them and the road. Also, as luck would have it, the interstate curved around this forest for miles, meaning that they were still making great progress towards Mack's house.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on February 13, 2012, 01:06:50 AM

I don't have time to write anything, I'm just posting to let everyone know, that the restrictions for waiting to post have been removed. So, let's get more written, okay? :D

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 13, 2012, 01:12:43 AM

So just write? Still one paragraph, but just post when someone new has posted?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on February 13, 2012, 10:44:17 AM

That's pretty much it. I'd hate to see this thread die before the story is over. >.>

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 13, 2012, 02:22:17 PM

Alright, I was last poster, but I have some time...

One thing that Marcus just couldn't get through his head as they ran was why they hadn't been hit by the NSD when it went off. Of course there wasn't an explosion or anything to mark it. The NSD was meant to quickly and effectively shut down an area; make it secure. Otebon hadn't said much about his research on the subject, but it sounded like someone was pulling some major strings. Otebon had said that it wasn't military in nature, but all Marcus could think of was that this device could be used to great effect in battle. Imagine it. A stalemate on the front lines, until you send out this baby... then all it would be is a cleanup operation as you slaughter helpless people and secure new territory...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 16, 2012, 06:57:36 PM

Of course it was but moments beforeMarcus realised what was going on; this was a cleanup operation. But what of the men in the truck? They had been hit, too. "Otebon, stop for a minute." The thoughts continued to rush through his head, becoming clearer with each resounding pulse of his heart. " Otebon... We need to talk about this. The little ones cant run any further," he gestured at Tammo and Sarah, who were on the brink of collapse "and we need to talk about the NSD. Before we go any further we need to know who's using it. We need to know why we're safe and we need to know why those people got hit. Otebon..." Marcus trailed off. Otebon was not listening to him in the slightest.

Hmm. I have a character idea that I'm thinking of implementing upon arrival at the "Marks" house but seeing as that's not really in my hands... Otebon, if possible could you leave me the 'arrival-at-Marks' paragraph? You don't have t, it's just me flailing under a story with minimal control xD

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 17, 2012, 05:34:30 AM

Your wish is my command Aoren.

Otebon slowed and eventually came to a stop just on the edge of the highway as it appeared before them. He turned with an embarrassed (and almost sheepish) expression. "About that..." he began as he breathed heavily through his nose and gazed back to the road they had just left. "I think I may need to come clean about something. The reason the NSD didn't have an effect on you or the kids is that through the course of my research I came across an interesting facet of the NSD: the signal is blocked by the Blood-Brain barrier if the subject's blood chemistry has the right amount of iron... so..."

Feel free to do what you wish Aoren. It may be best to have Mark come pick us up, like he was looking out for us. Up to you though. Also feel free to yell at Otebon all you like!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 19, 2012, 11:36:16 PM

Ooh you've given me an idea! Sorry if this paragraph becomes a bit long- I'm just going to introduce my character now. Although it worries me that I may be doing it too quickly... Either way I'm impatient and too rarely do I add to this xD

Marcus looked horrified "You knew something like this was going to happen!?" Otebon stared back somewhat meekly "Well, thought..." Marcus was infuriated. "So you've, you've... "You've been giving us what?" Otebon looked away momentarily before opening his mouth to reply "Iron supplements." But the voice was not his; It as deep and guttural, coming from behind them. Both Marcus and Otebon whipped around, behind them a large man. Otebon begin to grasp for his M9 but froze; the stranger had an assault rifle pointed directly at them. Marcus looked on, dumbstruck. This was no normal assailant; he stood well over six foot two, had thick hair, tapered ears and an overlarge lower jaw parting his lips to reveal a row of sharp teeth. He gripped his rifle, a Kalashnikov model, with large clawwed hands. Half human... the thought was like a whisper. Both he and Otebon waited for a reply, the children cried out of alarm and exhaustion. Silence, then "You fit the description. My name is... Smith." The words seemed unnatural coming out of his mouth as he lowered his rifle "I followed you from the highway. I'm here to take you to Mark."

Hmm I really wanted to say Mr.______ But as "Mark" doesn't have a patrionym... Anyway I'm hoping I didn't overstep my bounds or rush things too much. I wanted to have a character with a racial stigma. I figure a half-human half-fur would be both genetically uncommon and generally... Disliked. Thus "Smith". Anyway it's back to you xD Ignore my earlier request. I also figure a "description" would work because A.) a paradigm involving Otebon/Marcus identifying themselves would take multiple paragraphs and B.) if it didn't fit a character in such a position could easily kill them.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 20, 2012, 03:41:49 AM

Otebon and Marcus reacted in the exact same way as "Smith" lowered his rifle. They glanced at each other with a bit of a worried expression before turning back to "Smith". The same thought was running through their heads. Half-Humans (or Half-Animals, or Mutts, or whatever other slur could be hurled against them) weren't very well received in society, and for good reason. They were a recent addition, the result of a "Super-Soldier" project gone awry. But it seemed that all this was known to "Smith" as he smiled and pointed off to his right. "Come quickly," he said in that deep voice of his. "We need to get airborne quickly. Mr. Sullivan doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Aoren, feel free to build anything you like. The way I see it, if I haven't stated it explicitely, it's up to you to build as you see fit. I love this game as it allows us to build off each other's ideas. If a character I intro doesn't have a last name, give them one. If I fail to provide a description, write one. This is our world. We hold the Power here!

BWAHAHAHAHA

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 20, 2012, 10:31:37 PM

"Smith" began to walk them north, towards a small hill rising above the treeline. "Quickly now, this area will soon be scoured." his attempted whisper made them all slightly uncomfortable, and now that his back was turned they could see a second rifle in holstered there. Obviously a dangerous fellow Otebon thought as he followed blindly to the clearing. Reaching the bottom, he bade them to stop "It is dangerous in the open, allow me to continue alone." Smith continued to the top of the hill, maybe two hundred feet away he pulled a small device from a hip pouch. Several minutes passed, and then as if sensing the time he beckoned for them. Otebon and Marcus, now carrying the children, followed just as an old UH-1 dustily beat it's way over the tree line towards them. The small helicopter swayed as it came in above them, and Otebon had the feeling that he was being watched from the dark interior cockpit. He prempted Smith and turned to Marcus, who was still holding Sarah and said "It's time to go for a chopper ride."

Nice laugh, Otebon :P Really brings out the illusion of your sanity. But I get what you're saying :P

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 21, 2012, 12:07:35 AM

Otebon took Tammo from Marcus' hands and began to move towards the helicopter. He covered Tammo's head and crouched as he ran to the grounded bird and almost jumped into the open door. With the speed of familiarity, Otebon strapped Tammo into a seat before doing the same for himself. Marcus was soon to follow and, as he watched, Otebon remembered back to the time when he used to be in helicopters all the time, back when he was actually being paid to do his research. Their guide, "Smith" was right on Marcus' heels and as soon as his feet were off the ground the rotors sped up, lifting the UH-1 off the ground. Otebon was more than happy to keep his silence a little bit longer (it gave him more time to study "Smith" and the helicopter itself) but Marcus leaned forward and yelled over the sound of the engine. "Where are we going?"

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 23, 2012, 06:27:33 PM

"Mr. Sullivan has a compound to the north. Got a couple men holed up. Mostly neighbors, lot of women and children, too many of the useless sort." Marcus looked slightly uncomfortable at this and changed the subject "So how long have you known Mark?" Smith turned to Otebon, looking at him as if he wasn't there. Silence ensued, save for the steady beat of the rotors. "Long enough." The reply did not seem to ease Marcus. In the lull Otebon looked below; another NSD strike, thousands of little bodies, no emitter. It was like they were being prepared for something. Further ahead, steep mountains loomed. "Marcus..." Otebon's voice was drowned out over the rotors. In it was awe and fear. "Marcus!" this time he could be heard, and Marcus looked at him quizzically. "Marcus, those mountains are new." Smith nodded knowingly.

Bwuahahaha I feel like I threw a bit of a curveball xD

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 24, 2012, 12:45:26 AM

"What?" Marcus asked as he moved his head closer to the window and peered down at the new mountains. "What could have..." A look of revelation crossed his face. He turned back to Otebon and the two of them shared a glance. Where the human's glance showed a sense of mild fear and amazement, Otebon looked as though he were about to be sick. Otebon turned to Smith. "Mark and I worked together for a long time on the same projects. He and I are good friends and I want to talk to him." Otebon bowed his head and whispered almost to himself in a voice that couldn't be heard in the noisy helicopter, but Marcus could read his muzzle. What are you doing Marcus... you know that they won't stop on account of children...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 24, 2012, 02:54:14 AM

"Mr. Sullivan sent me to seek you. If you were not being brought to him, what would have been the purpose?" Smiths thick voice cut through the monotany of the rotors "The compound is just shy of those mountains, we should be there momentarily. I see you've noticed the new scenery." Marcus was silent now, suspiciously so. The whole cabin had a feeling of unease, as if no man trusted the other. The soft thudding of the rotors continued.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 24, 2012, 04:24:54 AM

"Yeah," Otebon said, a new iron in his tone (he was no longer enjoying the ruffian game this half-breed was playing). "And 'Mr. Sullivan' loves to play games. I can't tell you how many times he and I would be in the lab and I would find that my test-tubes had been replaced with a notice of kidnap where all the words were cut out of magazines and newspapers. Mark doesn't do anything without a plan, especially if it's a plan that will give him great enjoyment." Otebon took a deep breath. I really hope I'm right... Otherwise this will look really stupid. "Mark loves to gamble with the greatest of stakes. But what he loves more than playing the game, is seeing people's reaction to learning his game. Isn't that right Mark?" Otebon spoke towards the cockpit for the last time. And behind curtain number 1...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 24, 2012, 07:27:05 PM

No response came from the cockpit. The halfblood looked at Otebon with open amusement "Mr. Sullivan does not have the prerequisite skills to pilot an aircraft. He is back at the compound working on research into these matters of souls and rumors of souls." Smiths riddle angered Otebon "What do you mean? Who is flying this thing? Why spea-" Otebon's rant was cut short by the rattly little UH1 entering a steep decent in a thouroughly unnatural motion. The wolfish man grinned and then laughed openly "Strap in boys, for nobody is flying this thing!" The sounds of men yelling was audible from beneath the descending UH-1. Over the clamor Otebon could discern from the Bedlam a man yelling "Zat's back! Go tell Mark, quickly! I'll bring them to him!" Zat..? The thought was cut short by the curt response of the mutt "And remember, we did not speak. It was not my place to tell you of these things, such realms belong to Mr. Sullivan." And with that, the chopped landed.

Hehe, Mark's your construct, I'll let you introduce him :P I always wanted to modify a retro helicopter into a UAV, but as that's not likely... :P

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 25, 2012, 12:05:29 AM

I'm so sorry Aoren... I couldn't do it in one paragraph. It would kill me as an author to write these paragraphs as one. Please forgive me. As it seems to be just you and me, feel free to retaliate in kind.

You said you wanted me to intro the character, but it was just too far for me to write.

I'm really sorry. Please don't ban me! :'(

A bit more used to rough landings than Marcus was, Otebon was the second out of his harness; "Smith" being the first. Otebon helped Marcus out of his harness before turning to the now horrified looking Tammo and Sarah. He whispered to them quietly, telling them that it will be alright and nothing will happen to them. He told them that they needed to stay close and pay attention. They needed to tell Uncle Marcus and Otebon everything they saw and heard when they were asked about it. They needed to be quiet and calm. Not that Mark would do anything to the little ones, Otebon through as he climbed out of the helicopter with Sarah in his hands. I don't trust this "Smith" yet though... and what about this "soul" matter...

"Smith" began to lead them to a small, scrawny little man that (from his waving and fidgetting) wanted them to follow him into the compound built into the pseudo-mountain, but the doors behind the man flew open to let a very large, boistrous man out into the courtyard the helicopter had landed in. "Well, well, well," the man said as he strode confidently towards Otebon, immediately embracing him in a bear hug. "Look what the cat dragged in? By Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, how the Hell are you Otebon? You still doing the whole battlefield Medic thing or did some two-bit Lab company buy you out eh?"

Otebon had to hold his breath as Mark tried to break his ribs in the strongest hug he'd ever felt. Though Mark was 100% human, he was one of the strongest people Otebon knew, and he'd known some pretty beefy Marines that were Bulls, Horses, and even a Reptile or two. "Hello Mark," Otebon said once he could breath. "What in the world do you think you're doing here with these people?"

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 27, 2012, 08:54:18 PM

Heyhey, I don't mind xD It was Daemons rule. And now I'm going to break it, too. Most of my posts were like 3 paragraphs I trimmed down. Cut the fat, as they say... Although some I may have made too lean yet :/ Anywho I digress.
And why would I ban you? xD Never harm a coauthor. It's like my literary Hippocratic oath.

Marcus led them down through a series of chambers carved into the rock, with children staring from various crevices hewn into the sides. The whole compound seemed as if it were built in a hurry. It took a while before Otebon realised that Smith was missing. "Mark, whe-" He began, but Mark cut him off "To my dining room." No sooner than he said that they took a corner and found themselves before two large doors. With apparent ease Mark opened them to reveal a large lightless room, centered by a thick wooden table.

"Sit, sit!" Mark laughed as he called to a woman in a corner, ordering food for the entire group. "I apologise for the rude atmosphere, Mark apologised. "But now I'm sure you have questions. Well, ask away!" He stared expectantly at Marcus, who appeared lost in thought, but it was Otebon who spoke up "Mark... What the hell is going on here?" Mark paused, furrowing his brow before answering "Well, after I... Liberated my good friend and faithful servant, we got to work studying the research being done at the Black Peak military research center. It did not take long before we realised that they were going to make a move if any remarkable incidents should occur. Disasters and the like. Well, when word broke out of a code leak we figured it would be wise to shack up away from society and monitor Black Peak. We have a second outpost on the north face of what the boys call mount hell, about a hundred kilometers to the west, that overlooks the installation."

Otebon nodded, thinking. "Who is this faithful servant?" Again there was a pause, the conversation stopped completely until plates of rice and peas, with what looked like Minced MRE's, were placed before them. "I am not surprised you could not gt him to speak. He does not usually like humans." Mark looked at Marcus as he said this "I am a rare exception myself. Our very own Zat Mikhailov. Ex-spetznas special technology and psychological warfare division. Very secretive. But his skills come in handy, which is why I sent him after you. Although we should all be relieved he didn't just... Incapacitate you all, and bring you here in chains." Otebon suddenly felt validated for his mistrust. The Russian did not trust them. "He mentioned souls."

A flash of amazement flashed through Marks face. "I was not prepared for this... No... Not at all." Mark stared at his plate, before continuing "Friends, this is a subject for another time. Zat will need to be there... Yes, we shall talk tomorrow, in my study. It is secure there." Mark looked entirely nervous, but then his shoulders relaxed "Yes, tomorrow. For now, do you have any other questions?"

Heh, but perhaps we shouldn't keep breaking the rules XD This is what one of my paragraphs normally looks like before editing, actually o.o

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 27, 2012, 09:51:17 PM

I agree... back to single paragraphs. It's nice to know that someone else is feeling hobbled though. ^_^
Also, interesting dining location. A lightless room.

Quote from: Aoren Deringer on February 27, 2012, 08:54:18 PM

With apparent ease Mark opened them to reveal a large lightless room, centered by a thick wooden table.

Is that an error or was it lightless and the lights were turned on later? Also, so sorry, but we've gotten so dark in the last few paragraphs. I'm in a good mood and want some comic relief! :P
--- --- ---

The sense of unease in the room was thick enough Mark felt as though it could be cut with a knife. The adults were all staring at their plates as though something terrible had happened, but little Tammo and Sarah were completely unaware of that. They kept glancing at each other before looking up at Marcus. With him being unhelpful and staring off into space, the little ones looked over to Otebon. They knew he wasn't going to answer their questions just yet. Although he kept eating, it was mechanical. His left hand lay on the table, fingers flying across the wood, almost like he was typing in numbers to a calculator. Tammo had seen that a million times and it had taken him throwing a ball at Otebon's back to grab his attention and make him play catch with Sarah and him. So Tammo's eyes returned to his meal, which he was picking with a fork, before meeting Sarah's. "This is icky," he tried to whisper, but in the silent room his voice carried farther than he had planned.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on February 28, 2012, 12:10:50 PM

Marcus' ensuing laughter broke the silent pall that had laid over the unconventional dinner party guests. He looked over to the side, at Tammo, who smiled a bit, and Sarah, whose cheeks were puffed out in prevention of laughter. After a moment, he heard a slight chuckle to his side, as Otebon had started in. Mark, across the table, looked at them quizzically. "Is there a reason you are acting like a bumbling baboon, Marcus?" He said with a slight smile. Marcus cracked up again, knowing the man was trying to end the gloomy atmosphere. After a moment more, both Otebon and Marcus stopped. "Alright, we got the bad news, and the giggles out. I think it's time we sent the kids away, for safety." Marcus said. Mark laughed. "Oh, no no no! Much too late for that, my dear sirs!"

Sorry if I didn't portray your character, Mark, properly. I felt it was necessary to have a response to Tammo's little complaint.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 28, 2012, 04:22:20 PM

Don't worry about it man. All the characters that I introduce I'm building very lightly for exactly that. I fully expect either you or Aoren to walk in and add their own flair to ALL characters.

Otebon's hand, which had not ceased it's data-entry-like movements even during his laughter, suddenly froze. "Why can't they leave Mark?" Otebon's face got hard and suspicious. "I'll be honest with you, the original plan was to take the kids up to your ranch in the hopes that you and your staff would care for them in such a remote location while Marcus and I kil-" Otebon saw Marcus motioning towards Tammo next to him. "Do what is necessary. But why can we not leave?" Mark smiled at Otebon's remark. "Because it has already begun," he said with his trademark cryptic air.

Have fun with that and feel free to do as you please. Will remind everyone that Tammo and Sarah are in the room, the NSD was used repeatedly within flying range of this stronghold, and we have a lot of ex-military guys floating around.

Have fun!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 28, 2012, 04:54:32 PM

"What do you mean?" Marcus was again looking uneasy. "This location, and the outpost, are the only safe locations left. By now the area surrounding us will be filled with heavy weapons and soldiers of the make we'll be talking about later. I'm expecting word of it any minute now... So, suffice to say, nobody is leaving." Mark's words dropped like bricks in the room. More bad news... Otebon thought glummly. Silence ensued save for the clattering of forks on plates.

Bwuahaha I like the darker sides of things but the comedic relief was great, Otebon :P And I meant more along the lines of "dim" not pitch :P

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 28, 2012, 07:20:37 PM

We'll assume that last line was meant to be OOC? It wasn't yellow when you posted it.

A small whine was heard in the room and Marcus tenderly dropped a hand on Tammo's shoulder. They may have been children, but they understood the concept of a trap. They must be terrified, Marcus thought as he tried to comfort Tammo. Poor kids... they're not here by choice and are stuck in a strange place with stranger people. Hell, I don't even want to be here. Marcus looked over at Otebon and allowed grimace to wash over his face. Otebon may be sitting just a few feet away, still shoveling the mediocre excuse for a meal in his mouth, but his eyes showed he was a million miles away. He's planning something, but what?

Once more, have fun. I originally planned Otebon was planned as chemist (like me!) but he's into all fields of medical science and theoretic science. Hint hint.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on February 28, 2012, 09:32:29 PM

Bwuahahaha, prove it :P And the way I see it two things can happen from here: Either everything goes horribly wrong and they are betrayed (which would be utterly confusing), OR they all end up looking like asses. I think we need to decide before really continuing...
As I can't think of anything to write and only have a few seconds to post I'm just writing to cause a break and allow you to post again, Otebon (as you did earlier). Hmm, I seem to have obtained a complete disregard for the rules! Soon I shall repent.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on February 29, 2012, 12:20:23 AM

NO! Rules are meant to be obeyed! >:1

Otebon's fingers ceased tapping, as he took in his surroundings. Nonchalantly glancing around with a bored expression. He knew they had to move the kids out, but had no idea how. Mark smiled. "Don't bother trying to find a way out, I have this place air locked. Besides, I said they couldn't leave, nothing about not keeping them safe. All you need to do, is infiltrate a military stronghold where they hold Darcy." Marcus' eyes widened, and Otebon gaped. "You mean the hydrogen bomb?" He said incredulously. Mark sighed dramatically. "No, I mean the soon-to-be senior prom queen Darcy Smith. Of course I mean the h-bomb!" Marcus glared at him. "And why do you need this?" "None of your concern." Mark waved him away. After a moments pause, he checked his watch. "And I think it's time for the young ones to scurry off to bed! And the adults as well. I expect you both up bright and early to go on a short camping trip." And with that, he stood, a hiss and vapor issuing from the sliding door. As it closed behind him, he winked, saying "Your rooms are at the end of the hall. Night!"

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 29, 2012, 12:48:14 AM

But a paragraph is so short!!! For example, it's hard to determine who's speaking in your paragraph as the dialogue is not separated out... as per the rules of grammar in the English language...

"Come on kids," Marcus said with a forced smile as he stood from the table and moved towards the door. He had to tab Otebon on the shoulder to follow as well. The two of them walked through the door (which quickly closed behind them with a pneumatic hiss) and down a long hall with doors on either side. Marcus was struck by how much it reminded him of the dormitories he'd stay'd in during the good ol' college days. He let Tammo and Sarah run ahead as he tapped Otebon on the shoulder and whispered into his Lupine ear. "What's on your mind? You haven't said a thing since Mark said that 'it has begun."

I REFUSE TO WRITE OTEBON'S PLAN! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Unless you avoid again... and then I'll write it.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on February 29, 2012, 11:14:58 AM

Otebon glanced at Marcus, and shook his head. Marcus glanced around, frustrated. "Alright, you don't need to tell me." Marcus walked forward, regoining the children. "Come on, guys. It's time to go to bed." Tammo whined. "We aren't tired!" He said, just as Sarah yawned. Marcus laughed. They turned a corner, and were out of sight. Otebon sighed, and frowned. "I'm sorry, Marcus. I have to do this more myself."

/end chapter
now you can write as though a chapter just ended.

It is now a 2 paragraph max. Stop complaining! :P

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 29, 2012, 03:17:40 PM

Yay! More Paragraphs!!!

“Alright Ote,” Marcus said as he followed the kids into the last room on the left. “Do what you need to do, but don’t be stupid, alright? The last thing we need right now is to antagonize Mark.” Marcus shrugged. “I don’t know where you found that guy, but he seems genuine. Dramatic to be sure, but genuine.”

Otebon laughed quietly, already preparing himself for what he was planning. “I’ll try to be careful Marcus, and don’t worry about Mark. He was a Biochemical Engineer, but always wanted to play The Phantom of the Opera. Don’t wait up for me,” he said as he turned down the hall and began to walk silently on the pads of his paws. He had a lot of work to get done tonight and getting caught doing it would not be conducive to his research. He had to smile as he turned a corner with the utmost caution, already far away from Marcus. This reminded him just too much of when he had been a Corpsman for some SEALs… Time to see what I can see around here…

Please ignore this post.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on February 29, 2012, 09:08:20 PM

Otebon, the chapter was over, and Otebon the character was alone in the hallway. how was he talking to someone?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on February 29, 2012, 09:56:02 PM

Because I am a derp... Sorry. Didn't read your submission well enough and thought Marcus was still there. So does the next post start the next chapter? Something like...

The next day...

I'm sorry, I just don't understand what your directions are on "the chapter is over".
:?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on March 02, 2012, 12:27:57 AM

Start it how you think a new chapter should be started, more or less.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 02, 2012, 06:06:13 AM

The new dawn (if it could be called that) found Marcus in the form of the door noisily sliding open in it's bracket. The room that Mark had given the four of them was small, cramped, and only had one bed. At first, Marcus had slept on the floor at the foot of the bed, surrendering the bed to Tammo and Sarah. That changed when he woke up because Tammo's arm fell onto his nose. Apparently the two of them had slipped off the bed and into his arms in the night, not wanting to sleep alone. So he had slept in the bed with one in either arm, but he slept shallowly as something bothered him: Otebon hadn't been there when Tammo woke him up. Instead Marcus had woken to find him sneaking back into the room to sleep in the corner at what must have been after three in the morning.

Otebon stood as Marcus rose to a sitting position between Tammo and Sarah to meet their guest. "You two," Smith said in what Marcus guessed was supposed to be a whisper. "Come with me. Mark wants to see you."

Better?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 07, 2012, 07:44:10 PM

Heh I was breaking the rules because I was absent and have no way of knowing if anyone would post! It was innocent, I swear!... And now it's my turn. lovely how Mark went from being a savior to being... Well, I don't know what to call him XD At least he gets to be complex. Also... HE'S NOT CALLED SMITH ANYMORE D: < My name reveal was not appropriately coherent?

They began to leave, but the Russian silently bade the children to stay. "We're not to speak until we're at the study." This curt statement was the only thing noise as they walked through the silent halls, each darker than the next until there was no light at all, and they followed Zat by the sheer feel of his presence. Soon they reached a pair of heavy doors, and as Zat opened them a brilliant light blinded Otebon; he was compelled to walk forward blindly, and soon the doors shut and the light dimmend. At the sight of Mark Otebon began to protest "Why are we here, Mark?" The anger was palpable. It was Mikailov who responded "What you know to be true is a lie."

Mark's was livid, and the halfbreed fell quiet. "We're not here to speak of bombs or the safety of children, Otebon. Even atomic weapons cannot compare to what has been developed." Mark's words rang thoughout the hall, and no response met them "There is an operation NSD in the world, but it is not as you believe designed to quell crowds... No, it is only the first phase. The kidnapping." Again, silence me this booming voice. "Each individual taken is lobotomised and fitted with the device known as the HUT- The Human Uplink Terminal. They remove their memories, thoughts, their very souls and install a computer. This computer is then controlled by one individual, thus creating the perfect army... No training, perfect synchronisation, et cetera." And now Mark fell silent. Finally Marcus replied "And what does this have to do with a Hydrogen bomb? Why are we going to break into a military facility again?" Mikhailov inhaled deeply, and then spoke "It is not your goal to steal, but to implant." This time Mark nodded his approval, and Zat continued "I am the keeper of souls. I, as were all of my brethren, was fitted with the command unit. We can control bodies of all species, of all sexes. I am but one of many, but I am the only man yet free." Otebon and Marcus stared on in amazement "Deep under my skin is the answer to this horror. I must command their armies, and I must ruin them lest all be destroyed." Silence rang throughout the hall.

Now I really had to trim that down :/ Hope it came out alright. It feels a bit rushed to me.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 07, 2012, 08:26:01 PM

(Facepalm). I did it again, didn't I? His name is Zat and I'm a derp... Well, this is why we edit right?

Also... what just happened? I am so lost...

Otebon stared at Zat with a deep curiosity and the emotions that had held him melted away. Now was not the time for a reaction, now was the time for thought, planning, and calm. He has a control unit? That must mean a transmitter / receiver array within the corpus callosum to ensure signals from both sides. His training must have been rigorous and abstract to deal with so much sensory input at once. How did they do it? Where would they put such a machine to act as a server between the "Control units" and the "Slave units"? It would have to be secure, well defensible, easily hidden from prying eyes, and something this big wouldn't have gone unnoticed by everyone so it's probably already known. As much as people like to say that the government is blind, they are actually quite good at finding things. They just don't do anything abou-- Wait... No... Otebon stepped forward a bit towards Zat and stared at him as though he could find the control unit somewhere on the half-breed's face. "So when are we going to Colorado Mark?"

Mark laughed. "Just like old times, eh Ote?" Mark turned and went to a small console bolted to a wall and began to type rapidly. "You were always so good at puzzles and always knew the answer. Yes, we are going to head west and hit up that old Thermo-Nuclear fallback bunker that the United States Military uses to control NORAD. The one inside the Cheyenne mountains. From there, they could withstand pretty much anything, which is why this makes such a good base for them. Don't worry though, this isn't U.S. Government or Military we're dealing with here." Throughout all of this, Mark's fingers flew across the keyboard. "This is a splinter group with a lot of money. I mean boat loads. They got it in their heads that shoot, they've got the money, they've got the political pressure, they've got the desire, why not rule the world through a zombie army." Mark suddenly stopped typing. "There we are... and now we have perfectly legitimate excuse for a Wolf, a Human, and a Half-breed to get into Cheyenne." A tray dropped from below the console and three small objects that neither Otebon or Marcus could make out clicked as they fell. Mark grabbed them and came over to Otebon and Marcus, handing them ID badges. "Good morning, Lt. Col. Albrecht. How do you do Lt. Col. Whitehall."

I've always wanted to run a tactical insertion into Cheyenne :D

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 07, 2012, 08:51:16 PM

Oh, sorry! I really tried to make it... Understandable :/ Generally I'm making Mark less of the controlling antagonist and more of the hero again :P

Otebon stared at his ID card; it had of course a miserable picture allied to an RFID beacon. "So we have the identification..." Otebon began "But what's our excuse, and how do we get there?" Mark thought for a moment and began typing again "You'll be transporting a prisoner. After Mikhailov was poached by SOCOM they imprisoned him and began training him. Since he has escaped, you shall be returning him." Zat's face twitched slightly at this, but Mark continued "As to how you will get there... Well, we cannot drive or fly. You'll be going for a bit of a hike; your going to leave tonight, if you're comfortable with that. I'll be having you head through the outpost..." Mark trailed off as his printer shook to life.

"Yes, you'll go through the outpost. I'll send word ahead, they'll resupply you. " He paused thoughtfully "Yes, then you'll heave through a series of caves and crevices that will take you west in safety, until you reach the spur of the Rockies. At which point you can abandon the mountains and find official transport. That will be up to you." Mark walked over and handed Otebon the paper he had printed- A prisoner ID form and official debriefing. "Any questions?" Marcus looked dumbstruck "Uhh..." His eloquence made Otebon smirk.

Also we started this off on a code- which is supposedly the catalyst for all of these events. Now obviously we should address the current issues first (perhaps the code will make for a later series of chapters :P), but we need to figure out exactly what it is. See I figure it would be like Wikileaks +: A code that removed all secrecy from the world and would inevitably lead to a massive war.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 07, 2012, 09:10:03 PM

Well... to keep with the whole central computer being a server for a massive army controlled intrinsically by a select few experimental soldiers, why not make it an algorithm? A code that when applied to a database is able to direct and render usable a nearly infinite amount of information. This could bind into the army and "souls" in that a code this complex was necessary to interface with the Master / Slave protocols of the units. They had the ability to take Slaves (but would, by necessity, be the last step as kidnapping thousands would be suspicious) and the ability to make Masters (which was already done) but couldn't link them without the Code.

How's that sound?

Also... the H-Bomb? I hope you don't mind the change.

"Wait a minute here," Marcus said as he quickly recovered. "What's going on here? We're going to just sneak into the Cheyenne Aerodefense base with a prisoner and do... what exactly? At best this would be a suicide mission, at worst... And what in the world would we need Darcy for? You know, the Hydrogen bomb?" Marcus was proud that he'd been able to follow most of this, but it was mainly a series of flukes. Being a data miner, he knew where and how to look to figure out some juicy secrets, but he only had some cursory knowledge of what was going on. "You know what, while we're on the subject, how do you two know each other?!"

Otebon immediately dropped his eyes in embarrassment. "I'm sorry Marcus, I should have told you earlier. A long time ago, Mark and I were part of a group that I'm not allowed to tell you much about. I was the team's medic, he was our..." Otebon glanced at Mark and he jumped to fill the void. "Hacker". Otebon sighed. "I'll live with that. He was our hacker. It was our job to stop bad things from happening, and we were pretty good about it until we were betrayed and we both had to go underground. As for Darcy... Darcy was something that Mark had the original idea for actually. It is a Hydrogen bomb, but modified and changed in such a way that it is very controlled. The power of a sun with a kill radius of about 100 yards. It's the perfect sabotage tool as it completely atomizes it's target. We need to get it so that we can atomize the server unit that will link these Slaves to Masters like Zat over there."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 07, 2012, 09:18:00 PM

Mark looked amused as Otebon said this, but let him finish "Oh my dear Otebon, no. We cannot destroy the uplink because there are more than one. Each controller was given a legion, yes, but not every soldier. The goal here is to form our own army in the attempt to destroy the others. Darcy is just a weapon to go in our arsenal." Otebon looked confused "But I assumed-" Mark cut in "You assumed incorrectly. Darcy has a purpose, but not to eliminate our only chance of survival. What you're doing is smuggling Zat in, and linking him to the mainframe. At which point he'll... Well he'll remove all nearby threats, by whatever means necessary." Mark paused before continuing "Then we can move onto the other terminals, and that's when Darcy will come in handy. But don't worry your little head about the big girl right now... We're not taking her until after we have an army."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 07, 2012, 10:20:30 PM

Otebon's look was one of absolute revulsion. "No Mark, this is something we have to get rid of. This isn't something that we can just leave around. No one should have the ability to rule like that. No one should eliminate people's free will."

Zat stepped forward. "I can understand what you are saying, perhaps more than anyone," he said in his thick accent. "My training to withstand the... noise of so many showed me the absolute control that is within the HUT system, but it's not as simple as you think. The technology exists. It can be used and will be unless we stop it. When I was... created... I learned that you must fight fire with fire. Back then it was with tooth and claw, knife with knife, and guns with guns. Now it's armies and I am the only one that can control them that fights for our side. We aren't going to rule the world Otebon, we're going to eliminate all traces of this abomination."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 08, 2012, 04:30:06 PM

Otebon still looked uneasy "But... All of those people..." Mark sighed deeply and answered cooly "They aren't people any more. Just drones. Everything that made them human, or anything else, was removed." Zat spat on the ground, and Otebons anger flared and he turned on the Russian "So what, there's no other way? So says somebody who's known nothing but war. You were made in a lab for this, those people weren't!" Again there was silence, as if each word carried a physical weight.
Then Mark broke the silence "There was no lab." Marcus tilted his head in confusion, encouragng Mark to continue "Halfbreeds weren't designed as part of a super-soldier program. If they were you'd never have seen one. They're a genetic anomaly, from traditionally sterile couples. But when they began to bring them in from across the planet an excuse was needed. And all good lies hold a kernal of truth..."

Sorry if I broke down the super-soldier plan o.O I just didn't have any good ideas of where to go. I don't mean to break down character constructs, though -.-'

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 08, 2012, 06:30:11 PM

No worries man. This is starting to develop into a spy novel anyways. The idea that what you know is false and what you know to be false is a cover for something darker is fantastic. I think I like this more actually. At the very least, it's an interesting concept. I actually like what you did with Otebon too. It's a good reaction.

That little bit of information struck Otebon hard. But then... why within the last 40 years? Why suddenly now? What changed? He looked at Zat a little closer and small pieces of the puzzle became clear. Genetics hasn't progressed far enough to produce such a well-adjusted subject. He's too... good. No emotional or physical quirks that make him unstable that have been observed and he's definitely been pushed to it. No strange actions or signs of stabilizing drugs. No...

Marcus stepped in to fill the gap in conversation. "Okay guys, break it up. We'll have plenty of time for stories while we walk from here to Timbuktu, so cool it for now and just let it settle. When are we leaving and what is going to happen to Tammo and Sarah?"

And moving along...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 09, 2012, 02:26:32 AM

Oh good. I was afraid I may have begun to go too far off. Good thing you like that because that's where I was going with it!
Zat answered suddenly "They must stay. Little ones cannot keep up the pace we'll need." The outburst did not go unnoticed by Mark, who quietly stared him down. "But will they be safe?" Marcus's questions were beginning to border on the impertantent but luckily it was Mark who responded "They will be staying with me. It's far safer here than anywhere else." Otebon switched gears and nodded in agreement. Now is not the time for arguments...

Hmm, I really seem to like ending paragraphs on "..." o.o

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 09, 2012, 05:48:58 AM

Otebon glanced down at his right wrist, where his watch glowed faintly. He knew that most right-handed people put their watches on the left hand, but this had always felt more natural to him. It was 0458. "Look guys," Otebon said with a bit of an irritated air. "We have a long hike ahead of us apparently and it's 5 in the morning. Now... either you wanted us to get an early start, or there was another reason you wanted to see us before the sun even thinks of breaking the horizon. Which is it?"

Mark nodded. "Exaclty. You need to leave almost immediately if you are to get to your checkpoint at a reasonable hour." Mark turned and pressed a button. "Continue along this path and, if I still know your walking pace Ote, you should be there in about... eh... 7 hours. Zat knows the way. Have fun!" And he turned to leave the room.

Sorry, wanted to move things along. :D

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on March 10, 2012, 01:29:53 AM

Mark stopped for a moment, then turned back around. "Oh, and you won't need any weapons. I'm sure that your hand-to-hand is subtle enough for any engagement, hmm?" The door slid closed with a whisper, and Zat turned to look at the two. "Well, it's time to head out. We've no time to lose."

Marcus stood up, and sent a glare at Zat. "Who made you leader?" Zat smiled, his wolfish teeth glinting ominously. "I'm bigger than you, and stronger. You want to fight for alpha, then be my guest. I won't guarantee you'll survive." Marcus' fists clenched. Otebon, realizing this, grabbed Marcus' arm. Zat laughed. "Having your friend pull you out of fights? You see, he's smart. You... not so much." He paused for a moment, smile on his face evaporating. "Meet me in the clearing in 5. Make it snappy."

Hey, guys. I'm back for a bit, so I'll be adding moar to this story. NOW GET POSTING, I want to write. ;-;

...please?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 10, 2012, 01:49:53 AM

Marcus glared at Zat's back as he disappeared through the doorway. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Marcus spun on Otebon with some anger. "You know as well as I do that he's a destabilizing element. He's only going to make trouble for us on this. He needs-"

"He needs to be shown that we are the ones in charge," Otebon said calmly. "I know that you are worried about Tammo and Sarah and getting back into the 'in the field' portion of our old espionage rackets isn't exactly a nice propect for you, but you need to use your mind here. Sorry to say, but you are human. If you fight that... half-breed... now, he will pick you out of his teeth with your own fibula. Let him have his way and play tour guide. You'll have your shot." Otebon released Marcus' arm and walked out the door, taking a different turn than Zat had. "Come on. Let's get to the clearing. We have a long day ahead of us."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on March 10, 2012, 01:58:09 AM

New chapter, I think?

The morning was crisp and cool, and Otebon's breath fogged easily, crystallized mouth-stench wafting through the air. "Wish we could have brushed our teeth." He said, as he stepped over a fallen log. "Is that complaining I hear back there?"Zat said, head going to the side a small degree. "Not really, more of a wish than a complaint." Marcus chuckled, and Zat growled. "Something funny, Omega?" Marcus eyes shrunk to slits, and Otebon sighed. "You really shouldn't do that. Some brain jack is left over from our last hacker-ops mission. Still has a high threshold of pain." Aside to Marcus, Otebon whispered "Don't respond to him, you'll have your chance later."

By the way, brain-jack is the brain-hacking we've been referring to, except a brain-jack causes a person to not feel as much pain. I plan on taking this somewhere in the future, as a final battle between Zat and Marcus.

Also, why are Mark's and Marcus' names so similar. It's so confusing sometimes. @.@

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 10, 2012, 03:16:33 AM

My fault on that one. Wasn't thinking and grabbed the first name that came to mind.

Marcus just grumbled under his breath, making Otebon's ears twitch in frustration. Let it be said that it hadn't been a good three day hike. Zat was self-proclaimed king of the pack and Marcus had a bone to pick with him. Actually being a Wolf, Otebon didn't care one whit about this pack structure (he knew exactly where he fit) but it grated on Marcus. Truth be told, the only reason Otebon cared was because Marcus was making it something of a show.

"Pick up the pace you two," Zat said more for Marcus' benefit than Otebon's. His long strides were already eating up the forest floor. "We need to get another five miles before dark."

There, that gives you plenty of space, but not too much, for fun on the road.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 14, 2012, 05:36:24 PM

They were walking for some time when Zat stopped suddenly. "Who's slow n-" Marcus began triumphantly but a sharp hiss from the mutt cut him off. Several minutes passed and nobody spoke, with Zat slowly leaning into a 3-point crouch. Otebon began to become slightly irritated with the delay, and opened his mouth to speak just as the Russian bolted off into the tree line. Otebon just stared after their guide, shocked and slightly confused. It was not long before they heard a barbaric yawp from the place Zat had dissapeared, dragging behind him the corpse of a small doe.
Marcus looked on in utter amazement as the half-breed silently slammed the creature on the ground and began to skin it. Otebon was looking at the knife- unstained with blood until Zat began to prepare the corpse. He killed it unarmed... And then he began to speak "Before you ask, I was hungry. We did not bring apropriate rations, only six MRE's to last us several days." With that the russian tore a piece of raw flesh from the haunch of the doe and gorged himself. Otebon could only look on in horror.

Hey, I figure if we're going to make them not get along too nicely, and forcus on pack-relations so much, we may as well make Zat more... Animalistic.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 14, 2012, 06:35:02 PM

Over 3000 years of evolution and these... half-breeds... still have the instincts of their ancestors. How... barbaric. Otebon thought about the supplies that they were carrying (well, mainly Otebon was carrying so that Marcus didn't have to shoulder all the weight). But I can't disagree about necessity of such a gruesome kill. But did he have to kill it with his teeth and is it required that he eat the meat raw?

"Good God man," Marcus said, his disgust evident and only amplified by his frustration. "You could have at least waited till we camped for the night so it could be cooked. Do you know how many diseases you could get from doing that? UGH!.."

I like that Zat is so... brutal. It really makes his character shine and become very unique. While we are on the subject, may I make a request for Otebon? That the Lupine instincts for things like pack structure, hunting, etc. are present, just very easily repressed as they haven't been necessary for something to the tune of a few hundred generations. He falls into line with Zat because he can feel the instinct to fight for Alpha dominance, but does not feel the need. The argument that would cause would just be too troublesome.

Is that alright?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 14, 2012, 09:22:16 PM

Zat looked up, appearing positively beastlike as the fresh blood steemed lightly off of his face. Thr mutt tilted his head slightly and then replied "Would you have me ruin a fine kill by searing it so terribly? No. My ancestors, all of our ancestors, fed upon fresh kills with vigor. If you need to cook it then fine, but do not expect me to share the sentiment." It was becoming apparent that the mutt was more wolf than man. But, as if in consent he stood and slung the corpse of his broad shoulders, still chewing bits of tendon.
"If you need to camp then let us camp. Run!" And with that Zat ran off up the path, breathing heavily and splattering the ground with the doe's blood. Otebon and Marcus had no chance but to follow.

And yeah, it's fine with me. Gives us a rounded cast; Marcus is the most civilised, Otebon falls somewhere in the middle (although considereably shifted more towards the civilised side :P) and Zat takes up a role on the oposing extreme of the spectrum. Personally, I like it. Also brutal is a great discription of him- Just thought I'd throw that in. Also I figured that they'd all prefer to make camp at the designated check-point.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 14, 2012, 10:43:47 PM

Otebon groaned. It wasn't that he couldn't run with the 60+ pounds on his back, in fact that was something that the deeply repressed instincts that Zat had fallen prey to wished to do. He wanted to run for days and Hunt. He groaned because he could see where this was going. Otebon turned to follow Zat as he sped off into the trees and took a pace that Marcus could follow. They had another 4 miles to go before they reached the final checkpoint on their hike. Soon they'd have to find a way to get some military transport and get to Cheyenne without raising the alarm. They'd hit that last checkpoint (at this pace) right as the sun hit the edge of the horizon.

"You know Marcus," Otebon said once the Human had caught up with his long, ground-eating strides. "You shouldn't push Zat too mu-" Marcus cut Otebon off. "No! I've had it with that smug little... AHHH!" Otebon had to smile as Marcus couldn't bring himself to cuss. He'd lived with children for far too long. "I swear, the next time he goes all Alpha-Male on me, I'm going to deck him!"

Cue internal struggle...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on March 15, 2012, 12:01:36 AM

"Deck, isn't that... a boat term? How strange. Last time I checked, what we are standing on is the floor." Otebon said, trying to drag Marcus back to his normal state. Marcus chuckled a bit, then sighed, reverting to a final frown. "I'm sorry for all this. I'm slowing you both down, and on top of it all, Zat's an annoying... you know. I feel like a fifth wheel."

Otebon laughed a bit. "Really, how so?" "Well, Zat's strong enough to act as three wheels by himself. And then there's you..." Marcus ticked off four of his fingers, leaving the thumb. "And finally me." Hes thumb jerked upwards, and he sat down. "You know, if you get angry, you're letting him win. Be the bigger man and take the insults." Otebon said. "Bigger figuratively of course. Hes more monster then man. Did you see him bite into that deer?" Otebon's mind raced at the thought. Thoughts of hunting. Spears, knives, running along with the pack... no. Otebon pushed the thoughts away.

my turn to cheat on my 2 paragraph rule. :P

Zat's bulk broke bushes as he strode down the path towards the pair. "Are you Os done already? We've barely moved a mile." Marcus looked at Otebon, and smiled. With a shake of his legs, he stood, and ran forward more. Zat laughed, and looked at Otebon. "Can you believe him? He thinks he'll be anything more than human." Otebon looked at him, face more blank than a new sheet of paper. "No, he doesn't want to be more than human. He just wants to be who he is." And Otebon ran after Marcus, leaving Zat laughing silently in the clearing. After a moment, he followed.

Whew, this is really fun! I wonder how many pages this would be in microsoft word?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 15, 2012, 01:01:41 AM

On the trio ran, onwards chasing the sun. Bit by bit, Otebon's prediction was proven wrong. Apparently, he hadn't factored in the fact that the ground go a lot rougher between here and the place Zat had called "Last Chance" earlier this morning and they arrived at a small... hamlet (might be the most appropriate word) just as the sun was sinking below the horizon. It was little more than a handful of buildings with a single dirt road running through it going from East to West. From a distance, the few figures they could see walking around the buildings were indistinguishable in the creeping gloom, but as they got closer and Otebon's night-eyes got stronger, he noticed that...

"They're all... half-breeds," Otebon said as he jogged next to Zat. Otebon stared down at the small clutch of buildings, wondering if this place appeared on any maps. They must have been exiles of society. Cast out for their biochemistry and the curse of their... birth. It certainly wasn't a family-friendly environment. "What is this place?"

Have fun with that guys!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 15, 2012, 05:53:38 PM

"Alma Nox. Don't speak here, they do not like outsiders." They walked towards the center of the colony, and soon it became apparent that Zat was large even among his kin. As the half-breeds began to congregate around them Otebon started to become silently nervous and noticed that Marcus was beginning to sweat. The crowd started to lick their lips expectantly, and this only aggrivated Otebon further until he noticed that they were ignoring him and staring at the carcus still slung over Zat's back. "Zat, ho-" But their mutt cut them off with a sharp hiss and raised hand. They continued their silent march until they reached a small wooden hut near the center of the settlment. Zat dropped his kill, his woolen shirt stained with blood, and knocked on the door.

For this next paragraph I REALLY need access to an interrobang.

Silence ensued momentarily and then the door slowly opened revealing a slight mutt woman, not quite as disfigured as the resy of the type. She looked at Zat for a moment, and then opened the door further to allow them entrance. It was silent and calm as she closed and locked the door, then turning to shutter the empty windows. She slowly turned to Zat and then all hell broke loose "What, so now you bring others here? You bring military here, too? What, the zombies are going to becoming out of the woodwork now aren't they? Explain yourself" Zat cringed slightly, and Marcus looked momentarily amused but then she went off again "All the time we spent making this place and you come along, of all the people. Well? Explain yourself! I wont ask again!" This time Zat opened his mouth to speak but again she began yelling "Or did you come here expeting something? A lovers return, is that it?"

AND I'M BREAKING IT TOO! BWUAHAHAHAHA!

Zat again tried to speak, and this time he succeeded "Yekaterina, be calm!" The woman relaxed her shoulders and Zat walked over to her, putting one of his massive arms around her and he began to console her further "Katya, those days are over. I'm free as well, no more being a pawn for either of us." Both Otebon and Marcus were astounded by Zat's shift in demeanor, and stared in silence as he sat he took her to the next room. Through the open door they could see both of them sitting on the bed talking silently, and it was a long while before either made any large movements. Zat stood up and exited and walked to Otebon, speaking in a gruff whisper "Yekaterina, we knew eachother during training. She washed out." he paused there, and Otebon nodded understanding "She has agreed to offer us temporary asylum. Be polite" He paused again, looking at Marcus with open contempt before continuing "I'm going out to secure our route to the outpost, see if I can't find something faster than our legs. Then we'll hit the canyons... And you know the rest."

Sorry but I just had to xD Also I'm trying to bring it back to the original written route to avoid, y'know, a plot-hole. Since we were going to Mark's outpost, and then a long hike though a ravine system, and then getting better transport at the end of that to take us the full way. Also feel free to play around with her, I'm trying to leave the character open (just providing some background) so that we can all have a go with the character dynamic of her and Zat. Oh and if you don't know Yekaterina is just the Russian form of Katherine. Katya is "Katy", you understand. Anyway I wanted to leave her general personality, most of her past, hell even the way she looks (to an extent) open for y'all.
Also, has anybody else noticed that spell-check no longer works? Or is it just me?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 15, 2012, 06:23:49 PM

Otebon could see that Marcus (and more appropriately his exhaustion) was about to make a scathing response, so he stepped in before the damage could be done. "Will you need any help negotiating or would it be better if Marcus and I stay here and out of sight of the locals?" Otebon glanced back to the crushed form of Yekatarina on the bed. The light was poor and the door was almost completely closed, but Otebon's eyes were best in half-light. He could see that her shoulders were shaking slightly and one hand lay open in front of her face, as though she were studying something small in the palm of her hand. "Would it be better to give our gracious host her space?"

Zat glanced over at Otebon with only a hint of that almost natural arrogance. It was quickly washed away as he watched Otebon's eyes guide his thoughts back to Yekatarina. "It... It would be better if you stay here. The people of Alma Nox aren't very... comfortable of outsiders." A hand came up in a pausing gesture. "Just stay out of her way." The hand became an accusing finger directed at Marcus. "Especially you. She hates full humans."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 15, 2012, 06:42:01 PM

"Apparently all mutts do." Marcus complained quietly, but it was enough to anger Zat further "Watch your tongue! Talk like that is a good way to end up helping the hunters at practice, if you can understand that." Again his contempt for Marcus was showing, but Zat quickly left before any more comments could be made. Otebon wearily looked over at his friend "Marcus..."

"What? This place isn't meant for me and you know it. At least you aren't targetted for your race." Otebon thought about this for a moment, looking over at Yekaterina "You can't blame them. They've lived with worse stigmas from the day they were born." Marcus looked over at the silent woman "You'd think that they wouldn't be that way, then. They're all wrong, everything about them." Otebon looked at Marcus sadle, it was becoming apparent that there was no reasoning with him.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 15, 2012, 07:54:28 PM

Otebon shook his head and turned to put down his pack. Picking a corner far away from anything that looked to be important, he laid his heavy pack on the ground. With a short glance over at Marcus (still standing by the door stiff with irritation), he began to dig through the pack. Zat had said that their host had offered them asylum, a word that meant sanctuary to Otebon, but he wasn't entirely sure about Zat's definition of the word.

The click of the M9 as the magazine slid into place and the first round slipped into the chamber was muffled by Otebon's hand. The pistol went right into his jacket and was hid. He wanted to be ready, but not overt, about defending his new "squad".

Sorry, bit of writer's block...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 15, 2012, 09:01:54 PM

"You can put that back." Yekaterina walked in briskly, apparently recovered from their arrival. "If it is seen you'll be killed. People don't like it when you hide things... Especially dangerous things." Otebon stared at her silently and then removed his pistol, putting it gingerly down on a small table. He was unsure as to whether or not he should spea, so he just stood there in silence, his head respectfuly bowed. There was an awkward pause before she inquisitively spoke again "So, where are you from? And how do you know him?" It was Marcus who answered "Well, we're-" But she cut him off with a venemous stare before turning back to Otebon "Well?"

By context Otebon assumed she meant Zat, and uncomfortably pawed the ground before saying "We met through a mutual friend." The mutt put him on edge, she asked too many questions. She looked at him expectantly for a moment before shrugging and walking over to a small propane stove "Are you hungry? I have some bread and yesterday I cleaned a clutch of leverets." Otebon smiled at the gesture and nodded his head politely. Then he noticed Marcus mockingly immitating the motion in the corner. Otebon sighed and Yekaterina lit the stove, busying herself. When will Zat be back... Otebon felt very uncomfortable in his absence.

I wish I could claim writers block, it's just a terrible little block of text xD

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 15, 2012, 09:23:23 PM

Yekatarina scoffed. "A typical response from someone like you, Wolf." She turned to grab a small covered pot and began to fill it with water from a large jug. "Tell me, do you like to lie? To hide the truth? Does it give you pleasure? Make you feel important? How about mysterious?" Otebon's eyes widened in surprise, freezing even Marcus in his actions. As though she could both read their minds and see their reactions with her back turned, Yekatarina laughed. "Yes, I washed out of the training, but I've always been good at seeing the truth. That was why they thought I'd be a good Master Unit. I could take something as small as someone's tone or body language and construct very accurate profiles from it." She finally turned around and faced Otebon directly. "So, do you like to lie, Doctor?"

Otebon's eyes glowed in the small light of the propane stove and showed their progression from wide surprise to near slits of suspicion. She was right. He rarely gave a straight answer and had been telling falsehoods ever since he had been a Pup. Something his father had trained him to do. "Veiling the truth comes naturally Madame," Otebon said slowly and carefully. "I apologize for not offering the truth, but please understand that it isn't my story to tell. Please allow let it be that someone that I used to work with hired Zat and has asked me and my friend here to perform a series of tasks for him. Whatever more you learn will have to come from Zat I fear." Otebon's laugh was thin and quiet. "I fear I'm simply too paranoid to give out specifics."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 15, 2012, 09:35:24 PM

Yekaterina furrowed her brow and returned to her work, speaking as she cooked "You're almost as bad as he is. Almost... So, you say a man has hired him? And that you know this man as well?" She again turned to face him as she spoke "Then be wary. The Zat I knew would never fall into mercenary work, but he always had a lust for blood." She sounded almost weary as she said this, now looking towards the shuttered window. "He was a patriot, then he was a conscript, now he's an errand runner and I suspect a guard or soldier. But what about you? Your weapon denotes you a man of action, but you're not cut of the same cloth as he... You're something different..." Yekaterina trailed off silently, and fell in entirely with her work. The only sound was the sizzling of fat on the stove.

I had no idea where to take that.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 15, 2012, 09:41:03 PM

You know what, I tried to give Yakatarina something that made her unique. Did I go too far? What are your plans for this sequence for I really don't have anything...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 15, 2012, 10:51:56 PM

Oh dear I don't know either! I suppose we could just have Zat come back to relieve some tensions :/

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 15, 2012, 10:54:44 PM

What if we explored Zat's interactions? Explored his character a bit?

I personally want to see what he does when he's alone. If you'd like to do that, I give you first shot. He was your idea.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 15, 2012, 11:33:39 PM

Hmm, alright. I'll give it a go. Although I don't really know where to go with that, either xD

Zat walked through Alma Nox silently. Yekaterina had told him that there was a garage of sorts at the other end of the village, owned by an aquantence by the name of Ramone. It wasn't a far walk, but he figured it was best to take his time and survey the people. Most of them were disfigured in some way, broken down as they washed out of the various programs. None of them seemed local, and there was a great variety in their clothing and, he assumed, their languages.

Eventually he made it to Ramone's garage, and entering saw exactly what he needed; a beat-down ATV large enough for two, and a thick Minsk motorcycle. Ramone was nowhere to be found, and Zat fingered the cash in his pocket, his finger mechanically slipping through the false lining into position on the OC-33 he kept on his hip. "Ramone?" Silence, and then a clanking noise as Ramone emerged, a fairly diminitive figure for his breed, with thick gold-blonde hair "Yes?" He asked somewhat tentatively. Zat smiled and thumped the cash, several thousand, onto the Minsk and nudged his head in the direction of it and the ATV. He grined slightly and growled "I've come to strike a deal."

Yeesh, I dunno. Any thoughts on it?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 16, 2012, 05:15:00 AM

Ramone looked down at the money hungrily. He glanced up at the Newcomer with thoughts of cheating him, but that went away quickly when he caught sight of his guest's size. Even in the dark, Zat was an imposing figure. Add in his arrogant stance, eyes reflecting what little light there was in the room, and his powerful presence he was a force to be reckoned with. "Yes... sir," Ramone said as he struggled to remember his manners. "I'm guessing you want the ATV?"

"Wrong," Zat said gruffly. "I want the ATV and the Minsk and I want them ready for me tomorrow morning."

Well then... if neither of us really has a plan, then maybe we should spend a bit of time PMing and come up with one? I have a general plan, but it's just following the already-laid-out plan.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on March 17, 2012, 02:31:04 PM

Pardon me, I'll just jump in here.

Ramone looked around nervously. "I.. I can't give you the Minsk." Zat growled, a dull sound like thunder in theclouds. "And why not." Ramone whimpered. "Who is currently holding the Minsk?" Ramone quivered; Zat was a tropical storm, and Ramone was but a young tree, only just reaching into the canopy. "Well, I-I can't.. um. I can-" Zat grew impatient. "Well? Spit it out, pup!" Ramone's eyes flashed furiously for a moment, showing the fire he had inside, but it quickly wavered, and extinguished. "Um... Yekatari-" Zat turned to a wall and punched it. The entire garage shook with the blow. After a moment, he calmed. Turning to Ramone, he realized that the man was genuinely afraid. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Zat said. "I really need to control my anger." Ramone gulped, and smiled weakly. "If you say so." Zat nodded. He turned to leave, but Ramone called out. "Aren't you going to take the ATV?" Zat smiled, and shook his head. "I'm going to talk with Katya."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 21, 2012, 06:00:49 PM

Zat was enraged walking back. Slowly the walk turned into a jog and the jog into a sprint. Soon he was running my instinct, running parrallel to the ground at great speed. He wasn't angry at her yet, he didn't know why she reserved it, he was angry at the situation, at being denied his suplies. He was running at Katya's door. He didn't bother oppening it, just slapped into it.

New chapter?

Otebon was still standing there awkeardly when suddenly the whole house shook violently and without warning. He instinctively jumped for his pistol and faced the door in a firing position. Yekaterina seemed unbothered and called out "Come in!" almost cheerfully. Zat opened the door slowly and deliberately, looking at Yekaterina with a pained look on his face.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 22, 2012, 04:36:25 AM

"YEKETA-" Zat started in a rage, but she stopped him before he even got going. "No!" She yelled right back, shutting him up. "Don't you dare start. You just up and left me out to dry all those years ago and you aren't getting away that easily." Zat opened his mouth, but she bowled right over him again. "I bought Ramone's Minsk because when you leave, you're talking me out of here. End of story." She turned to Otebon. "Put that thing away before you put someone's eye out." Her voice was calm and level as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. "The food will be ready in a minute or two. There are a few things I just remembered I needed to do." With that she walked right past Zat and out the door, closing it firmly behind her.

Otebon and Marcus looked to Zat, confused by the whole thing. "You heard her," he said roughly. "Put that pea-shooter away before you piss me off."

Sorry. I've fallen in love with Yekatarina. ^_^

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 22, 2012, 04:51:38 PM

She's certainly becoming quite the character X3

Zat looked around tensly, and then he stopped for a momentm, pausing to calm himself "Otebon, where is my deer?" there was a tone of deadly seriousness to his voice as he said this. Otebon quickly glanced at Marcus, and then back at Zat- he had forgotten about the deer "I don't... Don't know." He was wary of aggrivating Zat.

Zat's eye twitched slightly, and then he slumped over and Otebon thought he heard him whisper "Chyort" and fall back into a chair, holding his forehead "Some of the washouts stole my kill." He shot Otebon a most condemning look, and he couldn't look into Zat's eyes. He knew it was his fault for letting it out of his sight, that was not Zat's job. His insticts told him to leave, but there was nowhere for him to go and his mind consoled him I had to watch Yekaterina...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 23, 2012, 02:59:08 AM

Wait... What am I thinking? Otebon literally shook himself as he turned to deal with the cooking meal. It's not my job to watch the kill... uh... carcass. I haven't been struck this hard by those damn instincts since my time in The Company. Otebon continued Yeketarina's stirring and went to taste the stew she'd laid out for them. It wasn't bad, but it needed more salt. I better get this under-control otherwise I'll start baying at moon and running on all fours like those New-Age idiots.

Sorry. Writer's block and Homework OP. This is all I can offer at the moment.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on March 23, 2012, 10:31:50 AM

"Zat, it's not anyone's fault. We were busy with other things." Marcus said. Zat growled at him. "Busy doing what? Sitting on the prairie, not even guessing that the predators may come after you next? Not knowing that the next day you won't be able to eat? That is no excuse." Zat's eyes seemed to grow sad. "I know this from experience." With a sigh, Zat stepped back, sitting on the couch, and began to fall asleep

Marcus leaned over to Otebon. "See? I told you he had feelings." He whispered jokingly. "I heard that." Zat said. "Wake me when the food is ready. I have a feeling that if I stay awake, I will either kill someone or curl up into a ball. Neither of which are very presentable of an alpha." Marcus rolled his eyes.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 25, 2012, 04:34:17 AM

Marcus turned to Otebon, who was dutifully dealing with the stew. The human pointed a thumb at the reclining half-breed and opened his mouth as though to say "are you hearing this guy?" but stopped when he saw Otebon's scowl. Marcus lowered his hand and came up close to Otebon.

"Stop antagonizing him," Otebon whispered fully aware that even a though Zat was a half-breed, he might still be able to hear him. "The more you push him, the more he'll have the pack structure branded directly into his mind. Just let it go man... just let it go..." Otebon took a taste of the stew. It was thin and a bit greasy, but it was hot. He picked it up and turned. "Who's hungry?" he announced.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 28, 2012, 05:59:10 PM

Barely seconds later they were all sitting at the small table, even Yekaterina relented to being crowded in with her guests. There was little noise save for the clatter of the bent spoons against the cracked bowls. It reminded Otebon of his last dinner, with Mark. How far we've come in one day... The thought rolled around in his head as he looked around the pitiful room. It was obvious that Yekaterina was not entirely of want, as the rest of the hamlet appeared to be, and yet she had very little. Feeling compelled, he looked at her and saw a small, slightly devilish smile grace her face. It was directed at him, and he felt the need to respond to it "So, you will be coming with us to the outpost?"

Zat let loose a vicious growl and Otebon fell silent, aware that he had crossed a line. Nevertheless Yekaterina answered him "Yes I will, and further. I have no real ties here, and this place is doomed; it cannot sustain the number of refugees." Zat lowered his head sulkenly and glanced at her, then at Marcus, and finally Otebon. To Otebon it was obvious that he was on a short leash with Yekaterina.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 29, 2012, 05:30:55 AM

Otebon returned Zat's glare, reminding himself that a fight for dominance would gain him next to nothing. Maybe some peace and quiet and the ability to get Zat off Marcus' back, but not much else. It would be an unnecessary amount of pain for far too little utility. After keeping Zat's gaze for just a few seconds, Otebon returned to his meal. Throughout all this, Yekatarina laughed lightly.

"Come now Zat," she said when Otebon had lowered his eyes. "Still trying to play the pack leader are we? You really were scared for life when Jeremy beat the living day-lights out of you weren't you?" She laughed and Zat's face went through a remarkable change from surprise, to mortification, to anger in the span of a few seconds.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 29, 2012, 05:08:14 PM

"He was Alpha. He fought well," Zat's response was more of a growl than a sentence. "One day it will be my honor to kill him." Yekaterina's face hardened with concern, but Zat ignored it. It was quiet again, this time nobody moved. "Zat, how did you get out of the military? It was always your love." Zat clenched his fists, tearing furrows into the table. He stood quite slowly, towering over the rest of them. "Once a man learned he could control others. A man who realised that he needed demons; demons he must create. He picked his candidates and pushed them and beat them. And then he imprisoned them. He tore everything from them, even their past. Wanted an army, needed commanders. Needed slaves to drive slaves. Some refused, they were killed. And one day a man decided to free a slave, to run his own machinations. I hold no love for this man, but we share a common goal. Not the freeing of slaves, but the removal of an abomination."

With that Zat left the small house in a manner resembling calm. Otebon could see the door flex after it was closed, as if something large were leaning against it and for the first time Yekaterina looked truly defeated. Not suprised and enraged as when they had arrived, but truly defeated. She was looking at the furrows in her table as if they held some answer or solace. The scent of tobacco began to fill the house, and there was silence.

Hmm, I tried to put some story into Zat and bring back his rather ambiguous qualities of... Well, I wouldn't call it poetic. Anyhow for the sake of continuity I decided to tell it like a story in itself :P Felt it brought the "souls" bit back quite nicely. Anywho I felt he was just too two-dimensional really. Had no motivation :| And dinner with Yekaterina seems like the best opportunity to have him open up ^_^

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 30, 2012, 06:07:43 AM

I agree and a very interesting story... Zat once again becomes very interesting.

Silence... Marcus was all too happy to break by opening his mouth and saying, "So anyone care to explain what just happened?"

Yekatarina glared at Marcus. She said nothing, but studied his face and his bearing. A look of realization came over her for just a second before a cold humor settled over her face. "You know," she said as she took a bite of the meal. "You look an awful lot like Jeremy. No wonder Zat wants to pound your face in." She returned to her meal as though nothing had happened.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on March 30, 2012, 06:02:08 PM

It was not long before Yekaterina silently left them and closed herself in the bedroom, but it was far longer before any words were spoken. But eventually Otebon felt the need to discuss events "Marcus, I think we're transporting the most deranged cargo of all time." The comedic effect was wasted as Marcus just grunted dully. "Of course the cargo may be carrying us if this continues. This whole situation seems a tad rediculous: and now that we're taking on more people I don't know if our supplies can keep us until we reach Mark's outpost." He trailed off, Marcus did not seem to be listening. Suddenly Otebon remembered that he hadn't slept in amost thirty hours, and a wave of exhaustion covered him as he considered the distances left to be traveled. "Time to sleep then." For a moment, he could believe that Marcus already was.

Oh that was terible. I kept switching styles -_-' I'm not the best writer on that note of continuity :P Buuttt perhaps it can be editted at a later date. As I'm sure you understand this week in particular is rather busy to spend so much time on a paragraph.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on March 31, 2012, 02:57:37 AM

Well then... how 'bout this?

Otebon laughed as he saw Marcus' dull and fatigued expression. "Looks like you're already well on your way to the realm of dreams." Otebon grabbed Marcus' bowl as well as his own as he stood. "Go hit the sack. We've got a long way to go tomorrow and I don't imagine that Zat is going to be all that pleasant when it really hits him that Madame Yekatarina will be travelling with us." Marcus stood and went over to his satchel, wordlessly acquiescing to Otebon's suggestion of sleep, as Otebon placed to bowls next to the fireplace to be cleaned in the morning. He took his own little corner and curled up, very dog-like, and muttered to himself as he drifted off. "Not that I think anything short of death would stop her from coming... what a strong will."

NEW CHAPTER

"Wake up Omega!" Zat's harsh whisper cut through the early morning and woke Otebon with the tone of the whisper and Marcus with a kick to the gut. "Good morning Runts! It's 0400 in the morning. Daylight's in three hours and we need to be long gone by then. Get your gear together and start walking." With that, Zat turned and left the hovel.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 01, 2012, 09:18:27 PM

Outside was an old Maverick, not what Otebon had expected to find. "This is what you decided to buy?" Otebon's indignant tone obviously irritated Zat, but he still spoke in hushed tones "Bought is such a subjective term. It was the only vehicle that could hold us and our gear." Otebon wearily agreed: this was the second time Zat had woken them at an unholy hour and he was truly tired. "Fine, but where is miss Ye-" Zat cut him off with a sharp hiss. "Get in the vehicle. Be quiet." So we're leaving in the night. How appropriate. He understood that Yekaterina would only be a liability, but he did not approve of the methods Zat was using.

Nevertheless moments later they were all in the car, Marcus wearily falling back to sleep in the rear seat. Zat was hovering over the wheel, obviously preparing to pull out as quickly as possible. His muscles flexed and a the familiar spluttering of an engine filled their ears. And they were off, driving deliberately through the quiet village in an attempt to avoid waking the inhbitants. They reached the perimiter; a small, rough road heading up to the freshly formed mountains. Zat sped off, leaving Alma Mort far behind them. In the dark, Otebon could see a lone light closing the gap between them.

Strong wll indeed! ^_^ Betrayal and female motorists. Add some firepower and we have a cheap action flick!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 01, 2012, 09:28:48 PM

Otebon, twisted in the passenger's seat, stared back into the darkness and watched the light as it approached and couldn't help himself as he smiled. The light obviously came from some sort of motor vehicle for it bumped and jumped in rhythm to the dirt road and swayed to avoid the large rocks and potholes that lay along the route. The single light gave rise to the suspicion that it was a motorcycle that was pursuing them. Sitting back into his seat, Otebon's smile widened. Although he questioned Zat's method of procuring a vehicle for them to use to reach their next objective (God... I'm talking like I'm back with The Company... Objective this. Mark that. Medic! Get over here!) he had no doubts that Yekatarina probably had a bike that she would be more than able to use to ensure that Zat didn't leave her behind.

Otebon leaned over to tell Zat about their "shadow" and saw Zat's eyes glued to the rear-view mirror. It was obvious that he'd already seen and had guessed at the identity of the motorist. When he noticed Otebon looking, he turned to him. "You say one damn word and I'll whoop you so hard you won't be able to walk." Otebon just smiled.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on April 02, 2012, 09:06:02 AM

"Medic! Get over here!" Made me think of TF2.

After a moment, Otebon's ears twitched, as he heard the sound of the motorcycle. It was a low hum, Otebon assumed it was a Yamaha - small, light, and fast. Zat growled. "Dammit, Katy. Why couldn't you just stay behind? It would have been easier." Otebon shook his head, fearing that a internal conflict was already brewing without it's cause even being there. For now at least.

Marcus, looked behind him, ears only just hearing the sound of the Yamaha. "Where did she find such a nice bike in that sh-- hole?" He said. Zat just looked at him, then turned away. With the sound of an extremely large and mechanical hummingbird, Yekaterina caught up to them. She flicked up her visor, and with a smile, said "Oh, Zat. I thought I was too precious to you." Her face flicked to a frown. "You won't leave me behind again." And so the leash is pulled in, one on a starving wolf ready to maim anything that gets too close.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 02, 2012, 02:51:59 PM

How about a little bit of time lapse? This story arc, although picking up in recent posts, is stagnating a bit as Zat is going up and down emotionally. Although I love the character development (Gotta love Zat and Yekatarina :D), we seem to be having trouble keeping he thoughts going between posts…

Zat glared over at Yekatarina. She was too far away and her motorcycle too loud to hear, but Otebon could feel Zat growling. The Wolf was suddenly very aware at how much Zat felt that he was the Alpha and how much he was beginning to see Yekatarina as a disobedient pup. Zat’s eyes returned to the road and his hands tightened on the wheel as they drove for hours. Yekatarina fell in behind them without making another emotional jab at Zat and followed them as they came upon ill-used back-roads and even an interstate. Within the span of a handful of hours Zat had to pull over in some small, farming town to get gas for the car. He jumped out of the car quickly and began to fill the car as Yekatarina did the same to her Yamaha. As he waited for the tank to fill he walked over to Yekatarina.

“Good morning Zat,” Yekatarina began as Zat approached. It was obvious that she was estatic to get out of her tiny little village of a “home” and be out in the world once more. That excitement disappeared as Zat grabbed her by the arm and kept walking, giving them a discreet distance between the couple and any curious ears.

Have fun with that. As we’ve established that Zat is upset with Yekatarina coming along, I think now would be a good time for the “Alpha” to have a discussion with the “Alpha Female”, as it were.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 02, 2012, 05:53:03 PM

A Yamaha- interesting. I was gong for the Minsk which, as you may or may not know, is a motorcycle that she supposedly already owned .-.

"You weren't leaving me behind again! Look where it got you last time; you can't survive without me." This just infuriated Zat further, which satisfied her nicely. Zat's neck spasmed and he rashly began to reply "How-" but again, she cut him off "Besides, you came back, and I doubt you meant to. You see, it's fate. This just saves time!" Zat stepped off in frustration, clawing at the air in a rough motion of strangeling something. This was, of course, her plan. Dissalowing him to express his anger was the only way to prevent it from growing; luckily she could still control him well enough that he didn't ignore or interupt her.

He turned back to her and inhaled deeply. Then, very calmy, he began to speak again "Katya. There is no place for you where we are going. This is not an option- it is suicide." She contemplated this for a moment before answering "That is still my decision to make. So, where are you going?" Zat stared back at Otebon and Marcus, who had taken up the responsibility of refilling the two vehicles. He sighed and looked into her eyes "To heed the call of genocide."

Well, you can't have an argument in two paragraphs and I felt like these were already sloppily constructed anyway :/ So, it's up to whoever's next!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 03, 2012, 12:11:29 AM

As for the choice of motorcycle... I honestly thought it was the Minsk too... until Daemon said otherwise. I went with his decision for prevalence. But why do you say "sloppily constructed"? What's wrong?

I do agree that keeping one, coherent story going between three authors that are only allowed to write 2 paragraphs with little or no pre-planning (This is basically an RP thread with no defined characters or GM) is difficult, but how would you fix the "sloppiness"?

Yekatarina hung her head and shook it slowly side to side. "You know Zat," she said with irritation. "When you get something in your mind, you get real poetic. When I first met you, it was cute. Last time I heard you say something like 'heeding the call of genocide' you went on a cold rampage and killed a lot of people to get to out of that lab." She laid a hand on his shoulder. "That being said, your mind is something that I've always loved about you and I'm not going to let you waste it on a suicidal charge with a battle cry on your lips. If you have to go through with this, then I'll be right there to drag you off the field and tend to your wounds." Zat opened his mouth. But Yekatarina wasn't quite done yet. "No, I'll be broking no arguments about it. I'm coming and that's that. You came to me, whether you meant to or not. You found me. Now I'm exacting my price. You are taking me with you and we will do this thing together."

Yekatarina walked right past the stunned Zat and moved to her bike, which had just finished being filled. "Thank you boys," she said as she kicked it into gear. "Well, you coming or what?"

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on April 03, 2012, 01:55:05 AM

Quote from: Otebon on April 03, 2012, 12:11:29 AM

As for the choice of motorcycle... I honestly thought it was the Minsk too... until Daemon said otherwise. I went with his decision for prevalence. But why do you say "sloppily constructed"? What's wrong?

I do agree that keeping one, coherent story going between three authors that are only allowed to write 2 paragraphs with little or no pre-planning (This is basically an RP thread with no defined characters or GM) is difficult, but how would you fix the "sloppiness"?

Let the sloppiness be! Also, only made it a Yamaha because I thought we had taken the minsk and that she had needed a way to travel, so just threw in the first vehicle that came to mind.

You guys are overthinking this. It's supposed to just be a writing exercise type thing, to make sure you never rust/ in order to get more skill.Just let the story SLIDE.

And I am sorry about the way this is, but I had originally thought there would be more people interested in this type of thing.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 03, 2012, 02:05:33 AM

:o

Wow... reread what I'd written and I sound angry... Sorry. Didn't mean that! I was in a logical mood and I forgot to factor in emotion. What I meant to ask was...

What do you mean by "sloppiness" and how do you suggest that it is fixed in later posts?

(I'm still in a logical mood aren't I? :$ Uh... well then... just don't read into emotion for this post. Just kinda... answer the question without thinking about tone?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 03, 2012, 05:39:44 PM

The original point of sloppiness was actually a complaint about my own writing style, specifically in those paragraphs, which I found sloppy .-. I appear to have started something unnecesarily -_- I kept the mention of the minsk and sloppiness in two seperate editorial notes for the express purpose of differentiating them! D: And Otebon never apologise for the way you think. It's unnerving. Anyway, how about we return to our little story, eh?

Soon they were all back in the Maverick, now driving quite quickly. "So," Otebon paused before continuing, making sure that both Zat and Marcus were listening "The plan so far is to move to the outpost, where we will lose our current transport. Then we will be going through a network of valleys and caves to reach the far end of the mountains in relative safety. Then we will find new transport to take us to Cheyenne at which we will feign a prisoner escort to gain enterance. At which point we will have access to some form of uplink that will allow us to inevitably take over the base and then the rest of the area. In all of this, where does Yekaterina fall?"

"That is yet to be decided. Perhaps she shall also feign bonds- another capable fighter would be beneficial in our endeavor to retake the Cheyenne uplink terminal." Zat spoke gruffly but it was obvious that he was not entirely sure of the plan. "Perhaps she could wait outside? Surely there will not be much fighting if we can pull this off quietly." It was Marcus who spoke, and at this Zat laughed deeply "Oh there shall be much fighting. We will have to kill the guards, a few of the drones and the current tool on the throne. But rest assured, they will bleed. They will all bleed..."

So, that leaves a nice response open to whoever is next.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 20, 2012, 09:41:37 PM

Otebon cocked an eyebrow at the "they will all bleed" comment. He know knew why Mark had picked this guy for the job to go into Cheyenne and wreck havoc. Zat was proving himself to be the kind of fighter that was the most dangerous in this kind of suicidal / offensive mission: one with a grudge to settle. He wasn't quite sure why (although he had his suspicions, especially when he considered Jeremy and Zat's reaction to his name last night), but this was personal to Zat and he was going to see it through. Victory or Death. There were no other options for the Half-Breed.

"They will all bleed?" Marcus said with a sneer. Otebon immediately grimaced back at him, trying to get him to shut up, but the human didn't get the message. "What is up with you? Why are you wrapping yourself in all this bullshit poetics? What, do you know who's sitting on this 'throne' and why the will bleed? What's your problem man?"

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 20, 2012, 09:52:06 PM

Zat replied calmly "Do you know of the Spetsnaz training regimen? I went through it once. In order to toughen us, we wen't through sessions of torture. Many men could not last through this, but I was practical and focused not on the pain or fear, but on the methods they used. It was my first taste of torment- something I have worked on long since." He paused, and marcus titlted his head, obviously confused "What does that have to do with anything?"
"In those sessions I learned how to inflict pain. Now I am an abomination, I was stripped of everything. I remember the pain, and I remember how to inflict it. Whoever is on the throne is in a state not disimilar to a waking coma- that can feel, they can see, but they cannot react. The man on the throne at Cheyenne is the leader of our program, the prodigy. He inflicted pain on us and we were not permitted to react; we are going to cheyenne to stop an atrocity, I am going so that I may teach him agony."

Response is yours, I've got to go though, I'll be back on noon-ish tomorrow, or failing that, sunday.s

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 21, 2012, 06:35:44 AM

Marcus' face twisted in grumpy anger. The trip had not been good for him so far. "You are going to teach him agony," he said with a sarcastic tone. "You are going to teach him agony... What in the name of the Almighty-"

"I think what my companion was about to say," Otebon said to forestall Marcus from putting his foot farther into his mouth than he already had. Otebon could see Zat's hands tightening on the wheel. He wasn't sure if the anger was directed against Marcus or if it was directed against what Zat predicted they'd see at Cheyenne, but the warning signs were obvious. "Is that he doesn't quite understand your feelings towards all of this. However, I think I may have a few suspicions. Zat, are we going to find Jeremy at Cheyenne?"

Sorry... I love dialogue and I can't go very far in two paragraphs...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 22, 2012, 09:17:17 PM

"A man once known as Jeremy perhaps. Now a further abomination. For you see this is not the first usage of corpse-drones in combat; he has seen war before. European action ten years ago, he was the prototype and the template for the program we underwent. He experienced the shock that war has on a man thousands of times over. Became a beast."
"Well then shouldn't we send a psychiatrist in, not you?" Otebon could not stop Marcus from speaking his mind. This time Zat did not respond, but the tension in his demeanor grew with each passing second. The miles began to pass more quickly thna before, Yekaterina was passed and obviously began to struggle to keep up with the car. But Zat did not react, and none dared to speak as the mountains loomed ahead.

Well there's something at least ._.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 23, 2012, 12:03:12 AM

The rest of the ride passed in silence. Otebon was able to keep Marcus quiet and Zat wasn't much for conversation after all that. The time passed by as the mountains loomed higher and higher around them. Yekatarina was able to catch up to them once the car had to begin navigating the switch-back trails common to the upper slopes as they climbed up these bones of the world. Suddenly, as they passed over a rise and began to head into a small valley, the small group found themselves in the middle of a sprawling compound. To Marcus, it looked as though it were a refugee colony, based on its organization. Tents were lined up haphazardly and put in clusters to mirror the terrain they covered. But the military influence could not be denied, command posts and camo netting were present in large amounts. It was obvious that these people were hiding, but from whom?

Zat drove into the center of the camp without being hindered in any way, shape, or form beyond some hard stares and a small road block. As Zat's car and Yekatarina came to a halt in front of a large forest-camo tent, a massive Bear came barreling out of the flaps of the tent. "Welcome Comrades" he yelled with arms thrown wide. "Good morning friends! It is a pleasure to see you on such a fine day. It has been too long Master Mikhailov! Far too long! I wasn't expecting you for another seven hours." The Bear came forward and embraced the Half-Breed with his massive arms. "Please introduce me to your friends! If we are to fight the Tyrants together, we must all be good friends, no?" With style and flair befitting such an entrance, he bowed low to the three. "Welcome to Camp Thermopylae. I am Mstislav Popov. But please call me Pop as I understand my name may be hard to say. Who may you be?"

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 23, 2012, 06:53:37 PM

Now I really want to bust out into russian but I HATE phonetic russian and, frankly, I think cyrillic would appear a bit choppy here. Ah well, I suppose I'll just keep it in english. No- I'll have to pop in a bit xD But obviously Zat and Mstislav know eachother... I have an idea...

Zat and Mstislav walked into the tent, leaving marcus and Otebon to follow slightly akwardly behind. Inside, the two comrades were already talking. "Zhir medvedeva, how are you? It had been a long time since we shared a bottle together." Mstislav laughed heartily, a boming deep laugh befitting his stature "Yes, chicago, no? Tiny pup, you've been involved in some extraordinary events." It was Zat's turn to laugh this time "It seems that happens often to me. But what of you? For one so large you certainly stay off the radar well!"
"And for one so dim you certainly ask uncomfortble questions! I've been processing some spoils, commanding reconnaisance units, nothing glorious." Zat nodded slightly, and then gestured to Otebon "Otebon, Marcus, we rest here- but where pray tell is Yekaterina?" Otebon was utterly bewildered by the question, but not so mush as Popov "I haven't the slightest idea, actually." but the response was wasted because Zat was now looking, amused, at Mstislav's shocked expression "Zat, the woman outside, she was Yekaterina- the Yekaterina, your Katherine?"

I have nowhere to continue without making a new paragraph .-. Oh and just as clarification Zat called Mstislav a... How do I put this... Let's say large woman bear :P

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 23, 2012, 09:16:27 PM

Please forgive the little one-liner paragraphs. I love dialogue TOO MUCH!!!

Zat nodded with only a little mirth. "Yes..."

Suddenly a yell was heard outside. Mstislav led the group out of the tent in his haste to see what was happening. When the flaps were thrown back and their eyes readjusted to the bright sunlight outside, Mstislav began to laugh that deep booming laugh of his again. In the middle of two a Badger, an Otter, and a Rat (who was on the ground cradling what looked like a broken wrist), Yekatarina stood there dusting off her hands.

"Now," she was saying to the Rat, but glancing to her sides at the Badger and Otter. "I hope you learned your lesson. No means no." She looked up at Zat with a displeased expression on her face. "You left me alone and this one decided to touch what didn't belong to him." She looked over at the Bear. "Uncle Pop, how are you?"

It it matters, I'd like to have a backstory piece that has Zat, Yekatarina, and Mstislav be old partners in some type of work. Spetsnaz was mentioned earlier and that's fine. The "Uncle Pop" comment does not have to mean that they are literal family (the genetics of a Furry world are terrifying enough to consider... with 100+ dominant species running around with the possibility of cross-mating a real issue). Instead, if you wish it to be, it can be a term of endearment.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 24, 2012, 08:10:13 PM

Originally I had planned for Yekaterina to be unrelated before the program (which stll doesn't have a name) but it's fine! Now my paragraph looks a little odd but that's alright :P Also this may need editting as well as it suggests he does not know Yekaterna "It has been too long Master Mikhailov! Far too long! I wasn't expecting you for another seven hours." [Hug] "Please introduce me to your friends! If we are to fight the Tyrants together, we must all be good friends, no?" With style and flair befitting such an entrance, he bowed low to the three. [introductions] Who may you be?"" Or maybe I'm just confused :P

"Samooborona bez oruzhiya," Zat began, cutting through Popov's laugh "As a concept invaluable, as a technique effective. I would have thought you had forgotten" Yekaterina looked insulted "I lived in a camp full of starving refugees, such things are essential." At this Popov had finally regained enough control to respond "My girl, you are quite the firebrand! Excuse my men, they listen to me but outside of that, they are little more than armed civilians, lacking in control." He shooed the three men away with one large bat of his thick paw as he said this, and in response they scattered.

"Now, come in, come in! I think it time for us to have a talk as comrades." Inside the mood had changed somewhat as the bear and half-breeds sat around a large warped plastic table. Mstislav offered a bottle of cheap vodka to them all- Otebon thought it wise to decline, but the Russians accepted to bottle greedily, pouring themselves shots of the clear fluid, filled with odd specks of dirt. Zat peered into his small glass, and then nodded towards Marcus "Human, come. Take in the bottle so that we may speak of our goals as men." And he looked toward Otebon with a slightly bemused expression "And if you refuse to drink, at least have the good humor to sit with us."

Thank god for google xD No way I could have gotten that down spelled in "Official" russian phonetic which seems to exist only in the minds of online translators. Would have looked.. Odd indeed... Anyway! It's up to you now. If you haven't noticed I have gradually been showing some signs of accepance towards Marcus via Zat- at least in the company of Pop.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 24, 2012, 10:13:30 PM

(facepalm)... you are right... let me fix it here...

Otebon fixed Zat with a smile. "Just waiting to see what places will be left and allowing those of honor to rest first." The words may be old and from a culture a few thousand years dead, but they were slightly correct. Otebon took the last seat available as Marcus sat and had a glass poured for him. And with that, introductions were soon made. Mstislav was the perfect host, instantly memorizing the names of each of his guests and asking polite questions about them (such as noting that Marcus' accent revealed he was from the northern states, to which he acknowledged) but when he held Yekatarina's hand in his he asked no questions.

"My dear," he said with a soft light in his eyes. "It's been far too long. Forgive this old Bear his eyesight. I didn't recognize you when you drove up on that motorcycle. You've changed so much since I last saw you." He took in the rest of the table. "Though I see you haven't changed the caliber of your company much. Now tell me about the insanity that made you accept Mark's proposal! I've heard only bits and scraps (you know how that damn Human is with information don't you) and I yearn for a good story. He told me that I need to give you one of my most recently 'repurposed' Humvees, supplies for a three day trip, and some military equipment. So let's make a deal. I'll give you the hospitality of my roof and all the vodka you can drink for your scheduled rest time here and you spin me a yarn. As our American friends would speak 'Whatcha' say?"

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 24, 2012, 11:01:58 PM

"The plan is for you to provide a vehicle to get us through the pass without alerting the attention of the sentries. But as for how we got here..." Zat looked around "Remember Keiv?" Mstislav nodded solemly "Yes, but surely-" Zat shook his head before continuing "No, the goal is not the same. But the series of events around Yuri; how we removed him from his cell and used him to paint that rebel on the walls... Not disimilar to our current situation."
Mstislav stared at Zat for a moment, lost in memories "That was a lifetime ago Zat... So who is your Yuri?" The halfbreed grinned devilishly "Didn't you hear? My name is Yuri."

Grah, I would go further but I shall be constrained and refrained from making a new paragraph.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 25, 2012, 12:00:24 AM

You know what? I'm interested in where you are going with this and I don't want to screw it up. You've bowed to my wishes often enough...

I, Otebon Albrecht, forfeit my next two paragraphs in favor of Aoren Deringer so that he may continue.

Please finish your thoughts!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 25, 2012, 05:38:32 PM

Alright! I can dig it. Hope I don't blow this; the pressure is on...

"I am the one, our agent. Old friend this isn't a strike, it is an endgame." Mstislav looked at them all, methodically switching from face to face. The great bear sighed deeply "Zat, this is too ambitious, too much! You are not a young man, and you have never controlled so many, infiltrated so deep..." Zat lifted his chin slowly 'Mstislav-" The bear shook his head violently "No, I am sorry Zat but I cannot accept that. We can win this another way, as wars have been won before! I won't abide by such horrors. Won't abide by their us by us, the good guys!"

Zat tilted his head in response, followed by his whole body going taut "I will not pretend to control your morality my friend. But if you oppose me... I will be forced to raze this camp of yours." The threat rang out and there was silence. Nobody moved for quite some time. Eventually Mstislav lowered his head sadly "You've changed." The only response was a slight nod "There was a tme when we would have died together. Died for the right to breath our own air, keep our own company and abide our own morality."

Zat inhaled deeply "The methods change."

"But the price does not."

How was that? Sorry for the two extra lines :/ Didn't feel it right to leave it at that, and I couldn't bear to add those to one giant block.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 25, 2012, 06:59:14 PM

I asked you to finish your thoughts. Why would I be upset that you did as I asked and in so fantastic a manner?

And don't worry about the two extra lines. Again, I asked you to finish your thoughts. What's two extra paragraphs of dialogue when that's exactly what I desired?

Otebon was strangely comforted by Mstislav's words. He remembered that, not too long ago, he had made a similar argument. He only saw a single outcome from this entire situation. When such a weapon is created, the only outcome was death. This technology, this control over the wills of others, could only result in a new era of killing. He kept silent, however (as did Marcus, for once), instead it was Yekatarina that spoke.

"But Uncle," she said softly. "If the price to stop this horror isn't paid, only worse terrors will be unleashed upon the world. Think beyond the here and now. Imagine the network when it's been perfected. Imagine the fear that will run rampant as no one knows who controls those around them. Imagine the suspicion created. Imagine the cost of a war where soldiers are no longer volunteers, but automatons controlled from a mechanical throne." Yekatarina glanced over at Zat. "His method may be severe and bloody, but it is the most honorable path available to us. We must wash our hands in blood so that others don't have to."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 25, 2012, 07:36:19 PM

"Then let me ask you this, if you obtain this weapon, if you can use it. If you can win this war you are fuelling; what will you do with it then? Where will you go and what will you do?" Zat swallowed the last of his vodka before responding "Then I at least shall do as all soldiers and weapons do; fade to black in the ink of history, a story within the lines of a footnote hidden behind a lie." Popov chewed air in contemplation and then looked at the others "And all of you? What shall you do?" It suddenly struck Otebon that he hadn't thought of it.
"I would like to return to my home in peace." It was Marcus's turn next, and he let out a small laugh hinting at slight intoxication "There's a spot down in Rosarito, down in Mexico. If I make it out of this I am going on vacation." Next came Yekaterina, who just shook her head in indecision "I haven't considered it." She admitted with a slight hint of a blush, the most feminine behavior she had exhibited since Otebon had met her.

And you're on amicus.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 25, 2012, 11:39:20 PM

We keep falling back on Otebon to tell our little story don't we?

Otebon stared down at the hands he had carefully folded in his lap. Ever since he'd left The Company, he'd been doing freelance research on the weapons that they were now fighting against. The NSDs had been his focus up until he had been forced to leave his home with little Tammo, Sarah, and Marcus. He didn't have anything to go back to and nothing to look forward to. The house was known now. Even if it hadn't been burned to the ground, he wouldn't give it a week before either the enemies he'd made over his rather short-to-this-point life started dropping by to settle the score or (even worse) The Company started sending recruiters to try and convince him to come back.

He could feel the great Russian Bear's eyes staring at him and he had absolutely nothing to say. Once everything was over, he'd have to leave. He would be forced to... (how did Zat put it?..) fade to black in the ink of history. Go somewhere else, find a new name, a new face, a new home. He would never see little Sarah and Tammo again. Marcus would be in Mexico and it would be stupid of Otebon to follow. Maybe I can go back to Europe? Only about half of the groups there want me dead...

Sorry, I didn't have much to say here that would continue the story. Also in a poor mood, can't write well at the moment.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 26, 2012, 06:33:01 PM

Yes we do! Personally I like using him because there is evidence to suggest that the first information offered in a short story like this is the most memorable, and as Otebon was the first character, I figure he makes the best protagonist, really. Although I don't enjoy using the word protagonist, it doesn't seem to fit just right. Anyway even if this is just an excercise I like to treat things as if they are of dire importance. Helps me focus.

"And what of the weapon? What will you do with it?" Otebon glanced at Zat, guaging his reaction before he saide anything. "Destroy it." It was obvious that this was a lie. Mstislav saw through it, too "Zat, do not play me for a fool. What will you do with the weapon?"
"Do you think that this technology can ever be reversed? This is, or rather was, the next Rubicon. Things can never again be the same, and by erasing what was done will only garuntee that it will repeat itself."

I really had no idea what to put -_- All of my energy went into the block on top,.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 26, 2012, 07:59:33 PM

Who is speaking? Is Otebon saying the top line to which Zat replies with "Destroy it"? Who says the last comment that includes a reference to Rubicon?

Sorry, didn't follow that well.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on April 30, 2012, 04:52:16 PM

Quote from: Aoren Deringer on April 26, 2012, 06:33:01 PM

"And what of the weapon? What will you do with it?" Otebon glanced at Zat, guaging his reaction before he said anything. "Destroy it." It was obvious that this was a lie. Mstislav saw through it, too "Zat, do not play me for a fool. What will you do with the weapon?"
"Do you think that this technology can ever be reversed? This is, or rather was, the next Rubicon. Things can never again be the same, and by erasing what was done will only garuntee that it will repeat itself."

Sorry, you're right D: I suppose I should explain my thoughts; Mstislav started, Zat responded, Mstislav, Zat. Oh dear...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on April 30, 2012, 09:07:03 PM

Eh, happens to the best of us sometimes.

Barely pausing for breath, Zat ran over Mstislav's attempts at responding. "You know that I can't stand the pitiful attempts of governments plying for control. The only thing that people respect is power. With such a weapon in our arsenal, who would oppose us? What country would be foolish enough to wage war when a new Superpower reigns from on high? If one decides to wage war on another, then that country would be torn apart by it's own people, by the mindless drones that used to be its citizens..."

Otebon couldn't handle anymore. "Which is exactly why I suggested to Mark that we destroy it and the record of it ever existing. Such technology cannot be aloud to be used in such a fashion. If we can erase this from the face of the Earth, everyone will be better off for it..." Otebon's eyes dropped to the table. "Even if it means killing everyone that has something to do with it. If I must sacrifice thousands... no millions... for the sake of trillions, I will."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 01, 2012, 11:10:30 PM

Ugh I would write but I havent slept in two days. I'll give you my paragraphs Otebon.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 01, 2012, 11:20:15 PM

To be completely honest, I don't know where to go from here... I think we wrote ourselves into a hole. Unless you have a plan, I think I'll wait.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 01, 2012, 11:21:14 PM

Hmm, besides causing one of those men from earlier to enter with a shovel I dunno. I'll think about it.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 07, 2012, 07:44:21 PM

Alright I'm gong to have another stab at it. Although you took my idea in a extreme direction, Otebon xD Ah well, the world has no use for subtlety.

"Do you really expect to kill them all? I think you misunderstand... This is not the only instalation with such capabilities. There are dozens, possibly even hundred or thousands. Hidden across this globe. Even if I disagree with its use, practicality demands that such an undertanking be removed as a possibility." Mstislav's eyes were downturned as he said this "Our only hope would be to reveal it to all. Get the men of power in this world to agree to a new convention, or perhaps just include this weapon in the agreements of old."

The undeniable logic of Mstislav's argument reverberated in Otebon's ears. He didn't know what to think; there was no right answer. "But governments fail; they lie and the arms race continues. We cannot expect them to follow such a contract, to deny such power."

And the response is yours, mate! I think I left it pretty open.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 07, 2012, 08:19:33 PM

Eh... I'm not really happy with what I've written before... but I guess that's the point right? To practice writing and this is nothing more than an exercise. Ah well... trudge along I guess...

The Russian Bear leaned back in his chair and laced his paws together over his chest. "We are not arguing the strength and trustworthiness of governments, but the response of the people of the world." The Bear sighed. "Even though some misguided souls may use it from time to time, the weapons of disease and poison have been nearly eradicated from the battle field. Although War is not something to smile at, no longer are the trenches of World War One what is common. Those that use such weapons openly are condemned for no one nation is willing to anger the rest by supporting a traitor to the treaties that make life possible. We can hope that, when the people are made aware that the new direction of the arms race is slavery, such a cry will resound that those responsible will be dealt with and there will be efforts made to safeguard the world from it's use."

Otebon bowed his head in shame. He may not have lived as long as the Bear, but he had been an avid student of history at one point. It seems that every few decades, someone came up with a new way to kill and enforced their rule through steel and blood. Warfare was constant and Sentience was cruel. The only thing that was respected was Power. The only thing that was feared was Power greater than your own.

We've been talking here for a while. Feel free to continue or wrap it up. I vote to get back to whatever it is we were doing previously. (Have to reread a few posts).

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 07, 2012, 08:45:57 PM

Zat cut back in "Well either way we need a ride. What have you got?"
Mstislav paused for a moment, working his tonguw through his mouth thoughtfully "I have an old BMW 5 series. Looks nice, so it would probably get you close to Cheyenne. Make it through the roadblocks, too. As for your trip, my little wanted fellows... I have nothing that can get you through the canyons without attracting undue attention. We hike through. I suggest you do the same."

Sorry for it being so short...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 07, 2012, 08:55:10 PM

No problem. All that matters is the story right?

Otebon looked up. They had moved on from his embarrassment and he felt he could simply ignore it for a while. The thought of hiking through canyons (even at the pace Zat usually set) was not bothersome to Zat. Between the five of them, Otebon was sure that he could keep up even if it was a dead run all day; thanks to the more... lupine aspects of his DNA. The problem he foresaw was Marcus. He knew his friend hadn't said anything, but Otebon knew that he was starting to feel the effects of such forced marches. Once more, Otebon visited an old riddle for him and wondered why Humans were seen as an evolutionary pinnacle in their own right.

Zat nodded. "Fair enough," he said quickly. "from your talk of 'undue attraction', I'm guessing that we are staring at nightfall then?" Without waiting for a response (though the Bear did nod yes), Zat stood, threw his head back, and downed the last of his vodka. "Then I'm going to get some sleep. You do what you please. Oh, and Mstislav? I'd appreciate it if we weren't bothered while we sleep. Yekatarina's welcome was... inappropriate."

I want to write more to have reactions and dialogue... Ugh... I'm falling back into the dialogue trap where I want to write pages and only get 2 paragraphs... Feel free to do as you wish!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 07, 2012, 10:20:36 PM

Heh, I know that trap. Although I end up doing the same even when free of dialogue. Technical papers that are just walls of text; nobody ever wants to read up on my work because I usually fail to seperate it adequately. Hmm, I do believe I mispelled that.

It was not long before Otebon found himself (and Marcus) in a tent on the far side of the camp, away from most of the other men of the camp. The din of supply people and other such workers keeping the camp alive was clearly audible through the ragged canvas, and dusty sunlight filtered in through the holes worn into the fabric. Otebon looked around at his surroundings, ad then to Marcus, who was laying on a filthy cot "Reminds me of our operational days, what about you?" Marcus smirked slightly and sat up in response.
"Hell, our operational days are back. Too bad I treid to sleep in that damnable car. Can't get a wink now." Otebon knew what he meant and allowed him to continue "Of course that's not to say that I would be any better off sleeping here. Feel like these people are as likely to stick a shiv in you as shake your hand." Otebon looked at his watch 3:15... "Well at least we get our own tent." Marcus nodded in concurance and Otebon looked towards the flap of the tent "Gives us all some room. Did you hear what he said in there? He wants it Marcus... If I was unsure if I could trust him before, I'm terrified now."

You're on mate. Sorry if I changed my style up a bit; wanted to explain their surroundings further.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 08, 2012, 06:27:26 AM

Truth be told... I like this style more. It's more... lively?
(also, if you were asking how to spell the word "separate"... Sorry...) ;)

Marcus covered his head with a pillow; as if that would help. "Look, you and I both know what happens to people that... what was that phrase again? Oh yeah... 'Reach for the Sun'. No one person is going to ever have that much power. The people we used to work for would certainly never allow something like that. It disrupts business at the very least. Some little squirt gets it into his head that he wants to become King of the Mountain and someone else comes around and pushes him off." Marcus' hand came up and waved vaguely in Otebon's direction. "You keep going on about knowing history, so why are you worried? You know the world rights itself eventually so just breath deep and keep moving along."

Otebon smiled at his feet as Marcus finished talking. Now that he had some time away from the abrasive Half-Breed, his friends loquacious attitude had made a miraculous resurgence. Otebon still remembered when that bright and cheery outlook had saved them all from insanity time and time again. Times when the horrors of his previous job would keep him up at night and jump at shadows, Marcus would find Otebon standing in Sarah and Tammo's room, watching over them; keeping them safe from nightmares like this. Marcus would always be there with some wry comment that would make Otebon smile.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 08, 2012, 06:15:33 PM

I'm not even going to begin to talk about how difficult it was to get this written and posted. It did, however, take over an hour of frustration.

"Although our squirt isn't particularly little..I suppose he'd be even bigger if he was more wolfish. Oh god, the thought of it!" Marcus chuckled at his thought, and Otebon couldn't help but join him. Marcus' infectious laughter ended with a sigh and his shoulders fell "I just realized that we're going on a serious mountain hike tonight. You think I could get Zat drunk and ride him through?" Otebon laughed in earnest at the thought.

After a moment of shared contemplation of Marcus' little scheme (which evolved into continuously more complex variations far past the point of ridiculousness) Otebon realized that the last meal that they had was the day before, at Yekaterina’s. "Marcus, I have a proposal." his friend gave him his undivided attention "We are after all going on a 'serious mountain hike', so we're going to need food, right?" Marcus nodded slowly in response "Well they I say we go and find the mess." The only response was Marcus darting for the entrance to the tent.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 09, 2012, 03:54:17 AM

Otebon swiftly caught up to his friend just outside the tent, and from there the hunt was on. Guided mainly by their experiences in camps like this and their noses, soon they came upon the camp's Mess Tent. It was a large, low affair of camo-pattern cloth with camo-netting spread over the top and out towards the nearby trees. Without much ado, the two entered and found themselves hitting the tail end of the "lunch rush", if such a thing existed. There were only a few souls (not a single one Human) sitting at the closely-packed tables and there was a short line for the food. The two fell in behind an female Antelope wearing a green tank-top and fatigues.

Marcus, being in front of Otebon, looked over her shoulder to inspect what was for lunch. It seemed like there were two main options set out for the para-military force. A vegetarian option for those that couldn't digest the meat and a more carnivorous meal was farther down the line so that it didn't bother those like the Antelope. Marcus turned and whispered conspiratorially to Otebon that "this reminds me like when you and I used to work together. I wonder if they have the same rules against cross-species dating?" He then nudged Otebon with his shoulder and made an overexaggerated wink.

I thought that since you've been putting up with a lot recently, you should have the gift of determining how Otebon reacts? Does he continue the joke? Does he shoot his friend down? Does the scene from Top Gun make a reappearance with Marcus singing top lead? Is Otebon Goose?

Tune in next post for the continuation of this exciting saga!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 09, 2012, 05:12:14 PM

That made me laugh! But I'll take a slightly different angle... Oh, and FYI a female antelope is called a doe :P

The doe twitched her sensitive ears and turned to Marcus, lifting one brow inquisitively. "Oh uhh, well, you see-" Marcus'' embarrassed stutter was mercifully interrupted when she grabbed her plate and left to the far end of the mess. Marcus blushed readily and averted his eyes, staring at the ratty plastic table-cloth, and Otebon laughed heartily. Soon they were sitting nearby with their sad plates of overcooked beef (at least they hoped it was beef) and Otebon was still smirking. "Hey, will you stop with the face?"

They were interrupted by the doe, who sat slightly down the table and stared at Marcus, slowly batting her eyes. This, of course caused Otebon to collapse mirthfully, and provided a welcome distraction from the mystery of the foreign meat. Marcus seemed to shrink at the confrontation "Hey, uhh, so, how are you?". His awkward attempt at small talk just amused Otebon further, but the doe seemed unfazed and simply got up and walked closer, rummaging in her rear pocket. She sat down and showed it to Marcus, who's face become somewhat more solemn. Otebon tilted his head and Marcus tilted the card so that he could see. The card stated, in grand bold lettering "I have vestigial vocal chords" Otebon understood; she was a mute.

Hmm, you're up. A similar situation happened to me and a buddy of mine recently. Just seemed natural. Anyway I wanted to bring to light the condition of those in the camp, how they're not the prime candidates for military operations and the like...

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 10, 2012, 06:08:43 AM

Thank you. I was unaware of that. I think I still would have written it the same just because I identify Furs by capital letters on the species, but thank you. Also, interesting plot twist.

Marcus smiled triumphantly. Putting his fork down, he cracked the fingers of both hands and lifted them up to eye level. Then let me respond to you in ASL, he signed to the Doe. I learned when I was in High School as a Foreign Language. My sister is deaf, so it was good to know.

Otebon's laughter only increased in force. "Alright Casanova," he said when he was able to breath again. "Just remember that we need some sleep before tonight." Otebon picked up and went to go sit outside on a concrete block he'd seen earlier (giving the couple some "privacy") and ate his meat. He tried not to think about what his meat had been at one point and that seemed to help it go down.

As you wish kind sir.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 10, 2012, 06:37:55 PM

It wasnt long after Otebon had finished that Marcus and the doe walked out. As they passted Otebon, Marcus silently mouthed "Mute not deaf." and then they were gone. Otebon stayed back, pondering whether to walk the camp or return to the tent. After a moment of deliberations he left to walk the camp.
The camp was filled with all sorts of people, from the geneally healthy, to the maimed. Humans or otherwise seemed to matter little, but there was an obvious bias towards 'otherwise'. The camp was in a sorry shape indeed, and Otebon couldnt help but feel a touch of despair enter his being. What have I gotten myself into..?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 10, 2012, 10:00:32 PM

The Doctor in him wanted to stop and help, but there were simply... too many. Nothing seemed too out of place in a military camp. Of the injured most of it was self-inflicted or by natural causes, as was normal for a military camp. A few crushed limbs (hands, tails, and legs most common), burns, cuts, illness, malnutrition, food poisoning, etc. The more severely wounded looked as though they had come across a land mine, which frightened Otebon. Of all the weapons that Sentience had created, landmines, biochemical weapons, and flame throwers bothered him the most. Those did not simply kill the body or destroy the object, but were impersonal or caused extreme pain. Land mines in particular were a danger to soldiers and civilians alike. Especially after the battle was done and they were left forgotten in some poor farmer's field...

Otebon forced himself to keep walking and eventually made his way to the outer edges of the camp. He actually almost walked out of the camp before realizing it. It seemed like the main defense of this camp was its invisibility. The tree cover and camo netting hid it from the air while soldiers hidden in blinds and spider holes protected its borders. They must be close to enemy territory, especially with wounded of that caliber being treated here. But Otebon did not stay to inspect and instead turned back for his bunk. He knew where he was going (years of navigating with nothing more than his mind and the position of the sun ensured that he couldn't get lost easily) and soon he was back to the tent that he and Marcus had been assigned. His little walk had taken him an hour or so.

Alright... I have to stop here according to the rules... but what will come next?!?!?! Does Marcus have a date with a mute Antelope? Did he bring her back to his tent? Did she take him to hers? Is he really that suave?

In other news: I couldn't help but laugh when you took it that way. I never intended to have Marcus be a Casanova-type character, but now the opportunity is simply too... funny! Have fun with it

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 14, 2012, 12:25:06 AM

The afternoon light made the small tent appear slightly less decrepit from the outside, but Otebon couldnt think about his lodgings. Those that he had passed still haunted him, no matter how desperately he wanted the images, both from this camp and those prior, to leave him. Focusing on this he walked directly into the tent and sat on his bunk, completely unaware of Marcus and the doe, who were staring at him akwardly (if not attentively) from the far side.

"uhh, Otebon?" Otebon was shaken from his reverie and suddenly noticed his company (who were sitting on a spare bunk near the entrance). He grinned sheepishly and started edging back towards the door.

So, will he leave or stay? What happens from here? We're at say... 1700? We've got some time to killm but I'd rather not speed it up to much.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 14, 2012, 12:40:41 AM

Oh dear... ( :P Yes that's meant to be a play on words) Either Marcus is just that good a "talker" or this Doe is desperate. ;)

Otebon dropped his eyes to the floor and (not for the first time) cursed his amazing eyesight in low-light. "I apologize," he said as he turned and immediately left. He made sure that the tent flaps didn't fly open as he left and when he was completely outside he took the time to take the ties and make sure that they were secure.

That should give them at least a little bit of warning, Otebon thought as he turned back around and unconsciously flattened his clothes. That kind of thing hadn't happened to him since his days in a college dorm room. He looked left and right before just choosing a direction. Otebon just started walking. He knew that nightfall wouldn't be for another few hours (maybe three at this rate, he thought as he glanced up at the sun) but now he was prepared to not sleep, though he didn't really want to. He needed to decide if he was going to pull that torture or if he just needed to find some tree nearby and take a nap under it's branches. Marcus had... uh... reserved... the tent for some time.

You seem to be having a lot of fun with this story between Marcus and an Antelope. I will caution that we cannot write much about their relationship (honestly I don't know how far we've "made" it go so I've avoided writing anything about it) as this is the General Board and not the Adult Board. Having said that however, I look forward to seeing this updated now to see what craziness you create in that situation. But now we must ask ourselves... where are Zat and Yekatarina?

Your post is up to you. But I think it will be interesting to see how they spent their day.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 16, 2012, 06:01:08 PM

Otebon decided to find a someplace more suitable to sleep, and began walking towards a a raised area of larger, more dispersed tents which appeared to operate more as a command station. He walked more quickly this time, not lost in contemplation as he was before. As such he noticed the Zat immediately, sitting atop a rock and polishing a newly-acquired punch-dagger to a mirror polish. Upon Otebon's approach the half-breed merely raised his head "Searching for sleep, are you?"

Otebon nodded, assuming his demeanor gave him away. Zat deliberately motioned to a nearby tent "Far left is mine, I've no need of it for the moment, so feel free." Otebon stared at the tent for a moment "Thanks" as he reached the flaps of the tent he hear Zat call out in a whisper that would be entirely inaudible to any man "And be quite sure not to wake Yekaterina." Inside the tent was remarkably nicer than the one Otebon and Marcus had been assigned (the price paid for desiring some degree of privacy), no holes were worn into the canvas and as a whole it was considerably darker. A few men were laying in the cots adjacent to the door, and Yekaterina could be seen on the far right. Zat's cot had a cloth banner hanging loosely over it, entitled "Умереть для жизни" in faded and worn script. Otebon ignored it and sat on the foot of the cot.

Dunno quite where I was going with that. Also excuse my grammar, I worked to the best of my ability but my familiarity with Cyrillic as a whole is somewhat limited.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 16, 2012, 06:58:53 PM

Don't worry about the Russian. I can't speak or read it anyways. Had to use a translator to learn it said "Dying for Life".

I agree... I'm not really sure where to take this either, so let's go to a "checkpoint" of sorts in this way...

This day... The Wolf thought to himself quietly. This day. It just keeps getting more and more... interesting. The Wolf glanced around, his eyes glowing in the half light of the tent and inspected each sleeper as they dreamed. He reached down and removed his shirt in preparation for some sleep before he would be woken for the move. Everyone here fights the same war but in different battles, he thought as the shirt enclosed his head in darkness. Everyone here is ready to give their lives for their cause... but what is their purpose?

Otebon laid down over the covers of the cot and closed his eyes. He drifted off into an uneasy sleep filled with shadowed dreams. It was not a pleasant experience, but it was one that he was all too familiar with.

Alright, several options my friend. Option A: We jump to someone else and follow them. Tell the story of Marcus and that Doe for instance or go outside to play as Zat for a bit. Option B: we end the chapter and jump to moving out. Option C: other and feel free to fill in the blanks.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Aoren Deringer on May 23, 2012, 07:13:26 PM

Y'know I've been absolutely burnt out as of late. Couldnt write a thing. Rather than see the thread go into disuse, I'll give up my paragraphs.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on May 24, 2012, 04:19:33 AM

Fair enough man. Happens to the best of us. Not a worry at all for me; especially as this is all for fun anyways.

I believe I'm going to go with Option A here and move the story along.

--- --- ---

Otebon slowly opened the tent flap. He kept his face to the ground as he entered the tent that should have been his and allowed his eyes to adjust to the different shade of gloom within the enclosure. The sun had just fallen below the trees outside and it was getting dark quickly. After he was sure that he could pick out individual rocks on the ground and that the only sounds he heard were those of soft breathing, Otebon lifted his slightly glowing eyes up and inspected the tent.

The tent was small and only had room for two cots. Unsurprisingly, the one that Otebon had claimed earlier that day was completely untouched while the one that Marcus had decided to use for the duration of their day was occupied. That was the one Otebon approached and his eyes revealed that the ratty blanket that Marcus had been given was thrown over someone, or someones as Otebon discovered as he got closer. He wasn't exactly sure how it had happened, but Marcus and the Doe from earlier were wrapped in each others arms on the thin cot. With a bit of a curious expression on his face, Otebon noted that both the Doe and Marcus were clothed... fully.

Trying to be as stealthily as possible while being as far away as possible, Otebon poked Marcus in the back. Marcus had a tendency to jump if he woke up with Otebon's muzzle in his face, so Otebon had made sure to put himself as far behind and away from the human as he could. When he didn't respond, Otebon poked him again. Marcus jolted awake on the second poke.

Marcus opened his eyes with a smile on his face as he slowly came back to the realm of the living. The sleeping visage of the Doe greeted him and he leaned in to give her a slight kiss. He was stopped by Otebon poking him again. "Come on lover boy," Otebon said as he stood. "I had to basically beg Zat to come in here and be the one to wake you. Get your stuff and hurry quickly. You don't want him to wonder what you've been up to in here."

Hope you recover from your burnout soon!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on June 08, 2012, 08:18:31 PM

And I'm back! For today, at least.
Love what you did with Marcus, I was literally laughing. Marcus got some tail, I assume.

Marcus nodded, and careful not to wake the Doe, he stood up off of the bed. His clothes were a mess from being slept in, but that didn't matter much. Otebon tapped his foot impatiently as Marcus put on his boots. In short time, they were both walking out. Zat looked at Marcus, a knowing smile on his face. "How did you sleep?" He asked. Otebon shook his head, forgetting for a moment the half-breed's predator level sensory organs - he could likely smell the doe, and what had happened over night.

Marcus blushed, and Zat laughed. "The pup has finally become an adult! Maybe soon you'll be Alpha." A look of such startled surprise hit Marcus' face, and Otebon laughed, whether at Marcus' reaction or the situation in itself, he knew not. Marcus shook his head. "Remember, I don't get that right until I beat you." Marcus said, jokingly. Zat's face hardened. "Still a long time from that, Omega." Then he smiled again. Otebon shook his head. The man's emotions were running wild. What was wrong with Zat?

Successful revival, I hope. Hopefully one of you will pick this back up, eh?

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on June 08, 2012, 09:56:31 PM

I kinda forgot about it after I posted, mainly because I was previous poster... But hey, one good thing came from your post Daemon. Now we know what happened to Marcus ;)

They didn't have much time to wonder about Zat's... energy. Without another word (although he did settle for a low chuckle) he turned and left. "Come on," the Half-Breed said as he walked away. "We've got some miles to cover before the sun rises. Hope your... activities... were worth it!"

Otebon and Marcus began walking behind Zat, but noticed quickly that Yekatarina was no where to be seen. Otebon merely thought it a point of curiosity as Zat seemed to be pushing her away and then wouldn't let her out of his sight before starting the process all over again. Marcus, in his... "good mood"... was more than happy to comment on it.

Really tempted to go on, but have fun with it unless you want me to continue!

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on June 10, 2012, 03:11:23 PM

Sorry, been away. Please, do continue. I'll pass you my two paragraphs to see what you have in mind.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on June 10, 2012, 10:53:45 PM

Yes Master...

"So," Marcus said once Zat was far enough away and he bent down to retie his shoes (the quick effort he had given them in the tent would be giving him blisters in no time if he didn't correct it immediately). "Where's Yekatarina? Usually those two seem attached at the hip, though he seems to be trying to get rid of her half the time. You know what?" Marcus, empowered by his recent 'success' continued on without a thought while Otebon merely waited for his friend to finish so that they could follow along. "You know... I think those two are-"

"What Human?" The two turned to find Yekatarina standing in the shadow of a tent. Her arms were crossed and she had a wide smile on her face, as though she found this whole situation hilarious. "You think we're a mated pair? Why would it matter to you? What benefit do you gain by spouting that?" She uncrossed her arms and began walking towards them. "Zat may be a Half-Breed, but he and I have a history together. It's none of your business what we may or may not do together, but I assure you," she said as she walked right by Marcus and slowly drew her tail across his throat and up the side of his face. "I am attracted to power".

This moment was shattered when Yekatarina's tail flicked and caught Marcus on the nose. "So remember that, Omega," she said as she walked away.

Sorry, couldn't stop there... hope the third paragraph is okay.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Daemon on June 10, 2012, 11:25:31 PM

I have no idea what to put. But, it appears that Marcus shall forever be Omega, to all except Otebon and the nameless Doe.
Speaking of which, I think we need to bring the Doe character more to life, you know, add some importance to her. Maybe have them take her with them?

Either Aoren can get the next paragraph, or I yet again pass mine to Otebon. Sorry for being lazy.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on June 11, 2012, 01:22:03 AM

I think since I've had the last 5 it would be "not nice" for me to continue. If no one picks up in 48 hours though... I'll keep it going.

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on June 13, 2012, 04:38:59 AM

Otebon just couldn't stop laughing. He at least had the benefit of smell so he was able to tell (once Yekatarina had wandered close) that she was by no means attracted to Marcus or that she had anything on her mind other than making him squirm. But now that he could see Marcus' face, all crushed and very, very surprised, he couldn't stop chuckling to himself.

"Come on man," Otebon said to Marcus as he offered a paw up. "We need to get going."

Title: Re: Write a Paragraph, push the story
Post by: Otebon Albrecht on June 16, 2012, 04:51:40 PM

I think this thread may officially be dead... I've been the only poster here for the previous three story portions.

Feel free to post until this thread is two weeks old, but I think this experiment is over Daemon... sorry.

The Furry Forums

Creative Arts and Media => Creative Writing => Topic started by: Daemon on January 22, 2012, 05:40:52 PM