The Furry Forums
Creative Arts and Media => Serious RP => Roleplay => Serious RP Companion Board => Topic started by: darryldemented on November 17, 2011, 02:46:17 AM
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so I'm new to this and dunno what I'm doing, it'd be really cool is somebody could help me out.
i assume I'm supposed to say I'm doing something and describe some stuff based on what i read in the thing on here about how to role play.
Jesse the wolf was walking through the woods whistling to himself. he was wearing dark jeans and a v neck tee shirt. he stopped for a sec because he thought he saw something in the bushes, he couldn't tell because he was upwind of the bushes.
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I'll teach you. :) Also, there are two stickied threads at the top of the training grounds page that are really helpful. Give 'em a read.
Jovi had been out for her evening jog in the woods when she heard an unfamiliar whistle. Her right ear swiveled in the direction of the noise and she saw a wolf that she didn't recognize. Jovi knew pretty much everybody in these parts so it was odd that she didn't know this one. Her running slowed to a walk and her heavy hooves made a pretty loud clopping noise as she slowed her pace. "Hello?"
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thannk you :) and i may be slow responding as i am in school now
jesse heard the clapping of hooves and looked to see a lean black horse galloping towards him. she was slowing down steadily and she called out to him "hello" she had said, "hi there" jesse replied.
he took a small step towards waving his paw, as he walked his tail swished and the wind blew her scent towards him
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Jovi smiled at him, and extended her hand, "I'm Jovi, are you new around here? I don't think I've ever seen you before." The mare said with quizzical shaded grey blue eyes looking the wolf over. She had her mane tied in it's usual left side braid and was feeling pretty perky that day since the weather was nice.
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jesse reached for jovis hoove and shakes it whilst saying "im jesse, im new here, how do you do? he said looking the mare over. his hair was short and swept down to the right side of his face, he had on a black t shirt and jeans.
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K so what I've seen so far is that you get the general gist of what role playing is, but it's important in role playing to recall the details that you've previously posted. In your first post you mentioned what you were wearing, and then changed it in the last post you made. Even if only slightly, in serious RP's even little details like that are important. The second thing is that I said that Jovi extended her hand, and then you said hoof. Not a big deal, but I've designed Jovi to have regular hands- mostly because hand hooves are a pain in the ass and only having 4 fingers is also a pain. (That's how most hoofed anthro animals translate out, hand wise.)
There are a bunch of different kind of role plays, do you have one that you'd specifically like to get into? If it's social RPing like what we're doing- we can continue on as is, but if it's magic or fighting role playing I can steer this into that direction. The most important thing to remember is detail, detail, detail.
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If it isn't too presumptuous of me to jump in and offer my two bits...
I think what you have written, darryldemented, is excellent. I agree whole-heartedly with Jovi though. Try to think of it as a story that you've read or a movie that you have seen. Details are everything, especially with characters that belong to others.
I would also suggest that you may wish to explore "exploring" in the world. You write well, but very little. For example:
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"Jesse the wolf was walking through the woods whistling to himself. he was wearing dark jeans and a v neck tee shirt. he stopped for a sec because he thought he saw something in the bushes, he couldn't tell because he was upwind of the bushes."
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This is great. It introduces the character and shows the reader what Jesse looks like, what Jess is doing, and (even better in my humble opinion) what Jesse is thinking. But don't be afraid to expand, perhaps like so:
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Jesse the wolf breathed deeply, savoring the morning air. His dark jeans and v-neck t-shirt felt fantastic this early in the summer in the forest. This was one thing that he truly enjoyed: taking a morning walk through the woods without a care in the world. He even began to whistle to celebrate the calm surrounding him. Suddenly, Jesse stopped.
What was that? Jesse thought to himself. Is someone there?
"Hello!" Jesse yelled, trying to determine whether or not someone was there. His sense of smell was failing him as the wind was in the wrong direction. "Is someone there?"
--- --- ---
I apologize for the length of the post. I LOVE to write novels, so I end up being long winded in my posts.
Have fun!
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Otebon is very long winded....... but has wonderful detail in all of his posts. X3 Sorry, Ote, Couldn't help but jab atcha. ;)
Which actually brings me to another point, depending on your role in a specific RP you may need to be a person who writes long winded posts to give others details and things to react to, however, the more you write the easier it is for everybody. Most will follow suit.
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Otebon, i appreciate your insight it was very helpful.
ill have to remember to try to write more and describe things better. i can see how it would compare to writing a novel as it is basicly a living story. :)
and sorry about mixing things up jovi i had just read hooves and when i typed my reply i was thinking of your character in terms of actual horses for some reason. XD
and i would like to try battle now but first i have a few questions,
how do you deal damage to your opponent?
how is victory decided?
and is there any specific set of rules?
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I appreciate that you though I was helpful. You don't have to write nearly as much as I do though. Generally people write somewhere between 3-5 lines. As I write fairly often, I always describe into infinity.
As it pertains to battle, I have actually never participated in one through an RP. The way I would run it though (as a player and not as an Author [the one running the RP]) is as follows...
-Dealing damage is through story, unless otherwise stated. This means that you would write something like...
"Jesse charged towards his enemy slashing left and right with his blade..."
I would caution against saying that you actually injure another player (or enemy for that matter) as the decision is up to the Author.
-Victory is decided by the Author in mutual agreement with the Players.
-As always, rules are set by the Author. Everyone will play it differently so just make sure that you read everything before beginning a game.
Jovi will correct me and make sure that you have the best instruction.
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ah i see well that makes sense. :)
wanna begin?
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Sure... I'll begin then I guess. Since I don't know what kind of fighting you would prefer to try out (as you could do everything from hand to hand to ranged in nearly any story), I'll start with a simple training situation and allow you to fill in the details to tell me WHEN the story is.
(This is also a good opportunity to use the details of the situation to give the reader a feel for the time period and what is in the area)
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Otebon opened his eyes slowly as he heard the door open. The light filtered in through the windows and brightened the floor at such an angle that it couldn't be much after noon, if that. Normally, having his meditations disturbed at this hour would have been an annoyance, but those feelings disappeared as he saw his favorite student, Jesse, enter through the large oak double doors at the far end of the training hall. Otebon stood and straightened the wrinkles from his clothes as he spoke.
"Hello again Jesse," Otebon said with a kindly air. "With which weapon would you like to train with today?"
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*I tried to let you pick the weapon. Now it's your turn to tell the story. Tell me, the reader and author what is in the room. Tell me what are Jesse's thoughts about everything. Tell me which weapons are available and which you pick and why.
Initiate the combat.
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Jesse padded across the vinyl sparring mat and bowed to otebon. "greetings master Obeton" he said as he walked toward the weapon racks. he knew his master was skill ed in all the weapons in the room so he would have to pick carefully if he had the slightest hope of winning. he tied his head band around his forehead completing his kung fu uniform. it was dark gray and fit loosely complimenting his trim figure. his tail hung out of the small slit that his master had cut in the back of the pants. Jesse smiled everytime he wore it as he usually had to make the tail slit his self.
Jesse walked down the length of the wall padding along the hardwood floor and eying the weapons on the racks. they lined both sides of the room the left side was for blunt weapons such as nunchukus, staves and axes. the right was for bladed weapons such as swords, dirks and such. Jesse favored the sleek look of the blades. he believed battle should always be stylized.
his eyes landed on a red steel katana it was about 5' in total length and had a small gilded handle it was traditional in style and light weight no more than 5 or 6 pounds. it was one of his favorites. his other was a set of elven short swords they were about 4' in length and weighed about 3 pounds each. Jesse decided on the red steel katanna as he didn't feel like juggling the elven swords today.
he stepped in to the Circle and confronted his master. "i have chosen this blade Master"
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Wow :D ! That was a fantastic introduction of a character and scene. Just from that, you made the reader feel as though they were in the room with Jesse. With little details like "vinyl sparring mat" and the construction of your training garb, you painted a very vibrant picture of the room. I (as a reader) now know that the room holds mainly "ancient" weapons, including some made up versions like the elven swords, but is set in a fairly modern world due to the vinyl plastics that cover the floor. I especially enjoyed the little details (which to me are by far the more important) like...
"the left side was for blunt weapons such as nunchukus, staves and axes. the right was for bladed weapons such as swords, dirks and such. Jesse favored the sleek look of the blades. he believed battle should always be stylized.[/size] "
Excellent work. The only criticism I have is spelling and punctuation, but that's because I am a bit of a grammar nazi when it comes to writing... It doesn't get in the way of the story at all, it just is there and is something to improve. I wouldn't think anyone except other grammar nazi's would even notice it really.
Now to continue...
(as neither of our characters have back story, I will just make some assumptions in that direction. If this were a real RP, you would probably be asked to build a character to have a bit of back story so that people can draw from it and interact with you on a very personal level. For now however...)
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Otebon smiled as his student took the elegantly curved katana from it's place along the wall. He remembered all those years ago when Jesse had first found that particular weapon and nearly demanded that he be trained in its use.
Without uttering a sound, Otebon turned and walked to the small stand that lay at the head of the modern dojo. Here were his most prized possessions and favorite weapons. Just as he did every time he approached these weapons, Otebon's emotions vied for dominance.
These were his favorite weapons and he could not help but feel unbounded joy in each and every one. Each dagger was a beauty unto itself, every sword told a tale that never grew old, while his staves gave a silent vigil in their infinite wisdom. Every single weapon had a story to tell and Otebon spent the majority of his waking hours listening to those stories as he taught the few that traveled this far into the mountains to speak with the masters here, as he meditated, and as he cared for this place of instruction.
As Otebon got closer though, the joy dribbled away and was replaced by sorrow, especially as his eyes fell upon the Chinese Dao placed reverently in the center. It had once belonged to Otebon's father and was only in Otebon's possession now due to the brave efforts of a dear friend. Many years ago, Otebon's father had been brutally murdered. His friend retrieved his weapon and presented it to Otebon. Now it served as a constant sentinel here in his father's home.
These all fell away though as Otebon's thoughts returned to his student behind him. It was nearing the times of The Trial for Jesse, and he was no doubt deep into his studies and desperately trying to master the final Scrolls so that he could pass. Otebon smiled as he reached for a pair of long dueling daggers that had become popular in the southern provinces. They were too long to be called knives, but too short to be called swords.
Otebon turned back to his student as he absent-mindedly spun the daggers around in his hands, finally resting in what was to be called an "ice-pick" grip for both hands. These daggers would allow him to block and attack simultaneously, but never with too much force.
He wasn't going to give his student an easy time, but he thought it would be unfair if he went for something he was a true master at, like the sword or spear.
"Are you ready," Otebon asked from the far end of the room. Although nearly thirty feet separated the two, both of them knew that Otebon could close that distance in less than a second.
Without waiting for a response, Otebon charged, both daggers held against the black fur of his arms and allowed his strong lupine legs to carry him ever closer to his student. With his tail streaming behind him, Otebon leaped at the last possible moment and drew his left hand up so that it would come down with a powerful stab. His right drifted up to his ear, ready to continue the attack once he had hit the ground.
Here I come youngling, Otebon thought as he flew through the air. Give me your all!
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I just thought that neither of us had built the character for this. We just kind of started, so... just so you know. Otebon is a black wolf with white / grey markings.
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thank you :) i am glad your appreciate my writing.
i wanted to paint the setting and mix modern and ancient style
because i like both equally.
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Jesse eyes Obeton as he chose his own weapons. he knew each weapons story as he had spent hours listening to his master go on and on in elaborate detail about how he found each weapon and how he learned how to use them. they were all so well crafted and beautiful. he envied his masters collection and hoped one day he too would have as many weapons as Otebon.
he watched as otebon selected a set of dualing daggers. he had seen otebon fight with these many times, they were quick defensive weapons, he knew his master would be able to parry blows quickly and that he would have to execute his strikes quickly and effieciently to win. it was a good thing he had chosen this katana. it was lightweight enough and thin enough to slice through the air dozens of times in a minute, had he chosen a blunt weapon he would have been to slow to combat the daggers.
his master approached him and called out asking if he was ready he knew the question was rhetorical and he braced himself. the battle would ensue in a moment I am ready, he thought bring it on!
his master may have been over 30 feet away but he was quick. age had not slowed him a bit.
otebon leapt forward in the blink of an eye, bringing his dagger down in a quick stabbing motion but jesse was ready for him. he parried the blow with the sheath of his katana and slashed at otebon other arm in a fluid diagonal motion.
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my character is a gray wolf with a black stripe going down his back and a long scar down the side of his face :D (it is assumed the scar is from a fight with a bandit of some sort during his travels)
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Excellent. You picked up on the story, extrapolated your own inferences, commented on my actions, and built the next leg of the story. Wonderful.
If I were running this as an actual RP, you and I would be in PM contact to ensure that nothing occurs during the fight that I, as the Author, would not wish to occur (like a death or insta-kill). Let's assume that this is, as previously stated, a sparring match and we just kind of tap-around for a bit.
Let's continue.
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Otebon's attack was easily blocked by his student and his quick reactions, just as Otebon knew he would.
Otebon's right hand dropped down so that the flat of the blade of his dagger would catch the katana midway down the blade and prepared himself for the impact. He allowed his body-weight to continue falling forward though, bringing him in closer to his opponent.
A lesson that Otebon had tried to drill into his young students head a thousand times was the concept of positioning and distance. Although Jesse was almost supernaturally fast with the katana (a sheer testament to the amount of time he had spent training with it), it would always be slower than Otebon's daggers. The benefit to such a weapon was its reach vastly outdid that of the daggers. No matter what Otebon did, he would have to get close enough to give Jesse a hug to be able to strike.
Otebon's feet landed lightly on the ground, but never stopped moving. Though his left had was out wide, still entangled with Jesse's sheath, and his right was blocking, Otebon took a step forward. Now the two wolves were nearly face to face.
Let's see how you deal with an opponent that won't stop charging. How will you punish my foolish mistake of coming well within reach of your blade?
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As something interesting (at least in my mind), as very little of the role playing you will see here is with humans and mainly focused on anthropomorphic animals (big surprise, I know), there are very interesting aspects to combat that can be explored. For instance, most animals have tails that they are able to control to some degree. How would that fare in destabilizing an opponent? Most animals have fangs, claws, or even spikes that are naturally occurring and one of their strongest defensive features. How would one use that in the average fight?
I suggest you open your mind to new possibilities and explore your fursona. Have fun!
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i think it would be assumed that since this is a sparring match the most damage one could do even using real weapons would be that we could only inflict minor damage on eachother.
how would killing an opponent work anyway?
their fursona couldn't just die, could it? even if so it would have to be revived for other use in other topics and such. correct?
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Jesse's attack was effortlessly blocked by otebon. The old master kept charging but jesse wasn't startled in the least. their blades were entangled any movement from either of them would only result in being entangled more especially on Jesse's side. Jesse growled defiantly and pushed into his masters dagger as if trying to stab him and then pulled back, quickly leaping backwards and spinning in the air coming down in a defensive stance.
he remembered the technique well. "disengage from a situation where you can only be tangled. if you push forward even further you will be a sitting duck, any advantage you previously had will have left you and you will be vulnerable" his master had said during training once.
jesse had taken this to heart immediately. when he was younger and the bandits raided his home town, killing off all the villagers he had made the mistake of pushing back. he had hoped to knock the attacker on his back but had only been entangled and left stuck in his enemy's grasp. the bandint then used his dagger to give jesse the scar on his face. jesse fought back valiantly but was left with two options: retreat or be killed. jesse was wise enough to retreat but vowed to get stronger and track down and kill the bandits.
he then sake out a master to teach him the ways of the battle. he looked for months and was finally led by a villager in a rural town at the base of a mountain. the villager had told him a master lived on the mountain top and accepted new students each year in the spring. jesse was in luck. he petitioned Otebon to make him his student and with a series of small tests earned the right to be taught the ways of the blade.
he had grown a lot over the previous year and was almost ready to prove himself worthy to be called a warrior. his training would soon be over and he would be able to extract his revenge on the bandit lord Saker soon! he would start with the smaller branches of the clan and make his way to the main camp to confront Saker himself.
saker was a foe to be recconed with, he had taken over most of the smaller towns and villages in the region of jesses childhood. it was rumored he could single handedly lay waster to battalions of enemies without breaking a sweat. jesse wasn't worried in the least. his master had trained him extensively. taught him how to combat enemies by the dozend, taught him how to make traps and bombs and such to deal with groups of foes.
jesse focused on the battle at hand. he then charged back at his master slashing his sword downward hitting the dagger in his masters right hand away and strafing right, no longer tangled in his blades, he was once again able to attack. he rushed forward again swinging his blade in a large X in front of him, he felt sure he would land at least one blow!
vengeance will one day soon be mine! he thought.
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Excellent story exposition. It explains your character nicely. I would suggest that you don't make every post this way (this is a problem I have, I hope you do better than I do...) as it really slows down the RP.
As to your question about death in an RP, it isn't final. A fursona is just a character used by the person playing it. It is not necessary (though I do as I hate to tell the same story multiple times) to create a new character each time as many just reuse their fursonas. You could join a hundred RPs and use Jesse every time with no changes beyond what is required for the story.
Now to continue...
Just for smiles and giggles, let us assume that the following has occurred between us between the past two posts...
-I have PMed you saying that I will put in my post that you land a strike. I apologize for controlling your character and wanted to ask your permission to do this as it would move the story forward.
-You replied saying that it was alright and that I could move ahead with the plan.
This is the result...
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Otebon allowed his student to fall back, he had done admirably in retreating from Otebon's shorter blades. Now, however, a new issue arose. From Jesse's facial expression, Otebon could tell that his choice of weapon, the daggers, may have been in error. They were causing him to remember his horrific past and giving him great emotional turmoil.
Jesse charged, swinging his blade left and right. It was a magnificent charge, perfect in every way except one: it was fueled by rage.
Although every single fighter that Otebon had ever met would have scolded him for it, he charged towards Jesse's blade with his hands outstretched and low. Just at the last moment, he ducked to his left. It was a maneuver that he had done before in front of Jesse and it had caused him to overbalance last time, losing the bout for Jesse. This time though, Jesse was prepared.
Otebon felt more than heard the slight pulling sensation as his training garb was sliced down the back, ruining the robe. As he came up to his feet, he had to roll his shoulders so that the robe's two halves could fall off his body and reveal the myriad of scars lining his chest.
"You have learned much Jesse," Otebon said with great satisfaction. I knew that I picked him well. "You are ready for the Trials."
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As a quick thought, do you have access to the adult section? I see on your profile that you are 18. If you can get access, find an RP and the associated OOC for "A New Breed of War", you could join my RP. I reserve the right to approve a character, but your RP skills are definitely above par.
You are welcome to send in a character application.
:)
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thank you :) and i know i just remembered you saying you liked writing and that its better to put more detail so i did. i just made up part of jesses back story as i wrote that. the bandit attack on his home was already there but the extra stuff i just threw in. i think ill keep it :D
and ok.
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jesse continued to charge his master his vision turned red as his mind filled with a feral rage over the bandits. he landed a long blow down Otebons back however only the tip of the blade touched his master resulting in a long tear down his robe. Otebon was not hurt however.
he merely shrugged his shoulders causing his robe to fall around his waist exposing a collection of scars all over his body from past battles. he looked at jesse with proud eyes. "you have learned much jesse, you are ready for the trials!" his master said.
jesse panted as his body was succumbed to exasperation. he was wiped out he had put all he had in his rage fueled attack. he sunk to his knee and lay down his blade. a small toothy grin spread across his face, he would now be able to prove his skill, and earn the right to be called a warrior.
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yes i i have acsess. and that sounds cool ill have to do that later. of course youll have to fill me in on what its about.
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As for entry to my RP, just read up on what's gone on (i think we are at 7 pages of actual story and 4 of OOC) and make sure that you submit a character that I accept.
I don't mean that you should never write a massive post, I just think that when I said that I write a lot and I prefer that, it may have been unclear that back story posts should come very infrequently. Maybe one or two every two or three pages of RP is safe, but always follow the story. For example, your character may come across a a street that has special meaning and you can write something there.
Let's say that combat is completed, so are there any other questions or situations you would like to see if I can answer?
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ill probrably submit jesse XD
then i again i kinda wanna make a scaly character so i may submit a different one idk yet.
and is magic used the same was as a melee weapon?
and whats ooc mean?
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To answer your questions...
Magic
-Magic is under the control of the Author. Some like to run it through very short spells or make it some big effort. I would really run spells kind of like firearms however (fire a spell and end your post with it either missing purposefully or in air so the Author can decide). Personally, I love "quick spells" like True name magic or most spells in books, so spells could be pretty much anything and used anywhere.
OOC means "Out Of Character". There is usually a thread that is labeled OOC so that people can talk outside the RP and make sure that everyone reads it.
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ah ok
and im still waiting on the mod to give me permission to use the adult area
i thought since i am an adult id automaticly be able to use it XD
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One would think that, but then you have to ask how the Mods would know.
I can type my age in as 123456789, but it doesn't make it so.
Any other questions?
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no not really lol
btw im up for other roleplay scenarios if you want to make one up or continue this one its cool
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Really up to you.
I have found that I can make up characters almost on the spot as long as I know a bit of story, so if there are any situations that you would like to try out, I can attempt to assist.
(*note: I cannot help with RPing love and mating as it is not allowed on this particular board)
Post Merge: November 21, 2011, 12:30:46 AM
Also, you can start reading the premise of New Breed of War in the Serious RP section here. I closed it due to the possibility of violence, love, and other such adult situations.
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i think i could too. if i really tried that is.
how about a situation where one of us evolves and gets wings XD haha ill let you pick who
we can just use otebon and jesse if you like. (unless you have another character in mind)
and when i signed up there was talk of a hotel of some sort for furs on the site?
what was that? and wow people do mating stuff on here X_X haha
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I don't know about the hotel, and I apologize about saying New Breed of War was in the Serious RP section. It's actually in the same section as this thread. I said Serious RP because that's where it is in the Adult section, so...
In the adult section, there is a whole new set of rules. Much more is open (things that aren't PG-13 like gratuitous blood and mating) but the rules are a bit more severe in their punishments. It's something you have to work for though to break the rules, so there really shouldn't be an issue.
For the wing issue, are you looking for something like aerial combats or movement, or what? Tell me what you think, but here is a start.
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Otebon slowly picked up the pieces of his robe and walked over to a set of doors to his right. That was where he kept his personal belongings while he was here, and he believed that he had another shirt.
"I can't believe how far you've come Jesse," Otebon said as he went to retrieve his new clothes. Once he had reemerged into the training room, he moved immediately to the stands that held his weapons and returned the daggers to their sheathes. "There's very little more that I can teach you anymore. You-"
Otebon froze and looked up as the doors on the far end of the room flung open. A large winged silhouette blocked the doors. The figure entered the room and the doors swung closed behind it.
Otebon sighed loudly. "Mira," he said with a laugh. "How many times have I asked you not to throw open those doors like that?"
"Sorry uncle" the gryphoness said with a slight laugh. "I'll try to remember next time."
"Sure you will," Otebon said as he moved forward past Jesse. She was about as tall as Otebon but much smaller in build. Her rich golden fur gave way to snow-white feathers as it approached her neck and continued down her back. Her wings were massive and powerful, but Otebon took care to not crush them in his hug. "Just as you remember to practice your spells every day, right?"
Otebon turned as Mira groaned. "Jesse, I don't believe you've ever met my niece Mira. Mira, this is Jesse."
Disentangling herself from Otebon, Mira came forward to Jesse. She made a deep bow about five feet from him. "Greetings Jesse," Mira said softly.
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Take it from there
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that's OK maybe i was imagining it XD and i assumed the reason it was adult would be because of graphic stuff such as mating but who knows these days.
and no just random situation where one character evolves but that would add an advantage over bandits for Jesse i suppose.
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Otebon put away his daggers and changed praising jesse. he said he couldn't believe how much Jesse had grown and that he couldn't teach Jesse more.
just then the doors to the dojo blew open and a griphoness entered the dojo. Jesse had never seen a griphoness before. the region he was from was mainly home to wolves bears foxes rodents songbirds and various reptiles but never something of this nature.
Otebon scolded the griffon for blowing the doors open. in doing so he revealed her name was Mira and she apologized and promised not to do so again. she had called him uncle. Jesse thought his ears had betrayed him, Jesse was shocked at hearing this.
"Jess i don't believe you've ever met my niece Mira," otebon said turning to face him "Mira this is Jesse" the griphoness approached and bowed. Jesse noticed her large wingspan. it had to be at least 15 feet across, he had never met any avian with a wingspan larger than maybe 8 feet.
"greetings Jesse" Mira said softly. "hello" Jesse replied timidly. bowing slightly but keeping his gaze on her. he was curious and cautious.
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you wanted to RP a situation where your character spontaneously transforms? Is that what you are asking?
I'm not saying it's impossible, it just has to be within the bounds of the story. For example: the story is filled with magic potions that give the drinker wings or the world is based off technology where wings can be made (like a backpack) or grafted on.
The RPing of such a situation depends on the situation and completely up to the Author and you.
In respect to your RPing, you don't have to repost what I have said. It does tend to slow down the movement and make your several lines look to be much more than what it actually is.
I don't mean this to be mean, but the only actions you took in the previous line is say hello. You did post 5 small paragraphs, but did not advance the story. Try to make every line offer something to the story as a whole and continue the action. As the next poster, there isn't much to build off of.
It is well written, just not a lot... (Sorry for the tone, I'm having trouble right now modifying that...)
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pretty mush haha and in this case i was going for idk a deity giving a character some new appendage .
my apologies i was just unsure of what to put that time but i do feel like i added some extra insight to jesses backstory. and ik ill try to avoid that in the future.
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jesse regarded her cautiously and greeted her "hello" he said smiling slightly. he went to stand closer to otebon as he was tired and unsure of how to interact with the griphoness. "i am jesse, pleased to make you aquiantance"
he noticed his sword was still on the ground and nonchalantly picked it up sheathing it and putting it on his waist. he knew if push cam to shove he could use his fangs and claws but he felt more secure holding the blade.
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better?
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Oh, it certainly added to the back story of your character, no problem there. It's just that after that, there was very little movement following.
Much more efficient post. :)
As you were talking about a deity giving a character some new appendage, the RPing of that would be very strange, I would imagine the Author would have to furnish you with a lot of information and then you write some epic post where the grace of God comes down upon you and pain everlastic occurs. The final result of this mix of pain and pleasure is the gift of wings...
Or something like that...
If you really want Jesse to have wings, you can always just add it to the character design. Some Authors may not accept the wings (like if you submit a wolf with wings to New Breed of War, I will not accept because of the premise of what Furs are, sorry) but some may (for example, I have been reading a RP named "Lucid Reality" that is based on dream states. I guess wings would be okay). I would say give it a shot for every RP you write a character for if you really want it. When they ask what your character looks like, write it up with wings. If they say yes, then awesome. If not, then oh well.
As that answers your questions, do you even wish to continue with Mira? I don't know if there are any more situations you would wish to practice. I will continue, but if we're done, we're done.
-- --- ---
Mira returned to Otebon and stood by his side with a small smile on her face. "He's funny" she said softly, but loud enough that Jesse could hear. It may have been an accident though as she turned to Jesse. "It is a pleasure to meet you Jesse. My uncle has told me that you are ready for the Trials. I must confess that I am insanely jealous. I'm not allowed to even enter training for another year."
Otebon nodded once Mira had finished speaking. "Absolutely Mira. You will be fourteen in a month. Once you are fifteen then you will be allowed to take the entrance test. Until then you are simply too young. Jesse joined our ranks at an unprecedented age because of his past and previous knowledge of combat."
--- --- ---
Feel free to take that in whatever direction you wish. If you wish to run another sparring match, do so. If you wish to call everything off, we can.
This has been very fun! It has also given me plenty of ideas of ideas for stories and RPs! ^_^
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yes that would be weird i suppose
and i think ill ditch the wing idea anyways.
i also think we should ditch mira.
maybe we could start a new roleplay topic in the forum where agroup of people pursue a gang of bandits? this roleplay just seems to cool to throw away.
what do you think?
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I am pleased. I haven't chimed in at all because Otebon is a very good teacher as well. Good job.
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lol i agree ive learned a good deal
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To Jovi - Thanks a great deal about that comment on my teaching abilities. It means a lot coming from someone like you. I once came across a quote by The Buddha ("The highest title a soul can attain is that of Teacher") that I found great truth in. So thank you.
To DarylDemented - If you want to begin an actual RP about chasing bandits, with or without these characters, why not start an RP yourself? I'm having far too much fun with this so far and I think it would be a great idea. Since you already have a basic premise (and hopefully we can use the training area with Otebon as a starting point) just post up an OOC. Take a few days for other players to join in, or it can just be you and I (and Jovi if she wants to jump in), and then we start. I think it would be a great idea.
If you need any help, or if you would prefer I Author the RP, tell me and I will be more than willing to assist. I love writing and reading stories and would greatly enjoy doing something like that.
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i think we should start one in the serious section. you can author it but i would like some creative rule over what goes on. and it can be open to other furs if they wish to join well just have to brainstorm requirements. and jovi is of course always welcome to join.