The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: roommate42 on July 19, 2011, 05:18:41 PM
-
Hey everyone, first off sorry if I unintentionally violate any rules here, I just googled and registered.
Just the other night I found out that one of my college roommates is furry. He's a pretty close friend of mine so I'd like to respond appropriately and sensitively. I experimented with furryism (is that the correct term?) a little back in high school, so I'm familiar with the basic idea of a fursona, but not much more than that. I've got a couple questions of my own but am really looking for general advice on what should/should not be done and what is/is not appropriate.
Should I avoid furryism in normal conversation, i.e. do most people consider it part of their private lives?
(Obviously I will avoid it in mixed company, not what I'm asking about)
Would it be rude to ask or not ask about his fursona?
Personally, it seems utterly indefensible to arbitrarily dispense hate upon any group defined by sexual interest, but are there more specific sensitivities I should be aware of?
Thanks for your help!
-
As far as I know, it's referred to as furdom.
And the best thing you can do is ask the guy. Some prefer to keep it private, some prefer to be open and proud. And as you're good friends, I doubt he will take any offence in you asking what you've asked us. If anything, he'll be happy you're showing interest.
And mentioning that you've been in contact with it before proves that you're open towards it too, which I'm sure he'll appreciate.
But keep one thing in mind; furdom has nothing to do with sexual attraction. Many are, sexually attracted to furries, but that is NOT what defines it. It's like saying that everyone that likes Super Mario is into it because they think Peach is really hot.
Feel free to read this: http://www.thefurryforum.com/forums/index.php?topic=16042.0
-
I agree with everything Puncia said. Most likely he'll be perfectly fine talking about the fandom as long as you're open-minded about it.
-
While it's not true for all furries, many of the furries I know are among the nicest people I've ever met. Even the people here are really nice most of the time. The mods may seem a bit strict, but they're more assertive than anything else about their modsmenship.
I would at least ask him in private if he's comfortable about using the word furry around others. And if he is, well then honestly, he's a braver man that I am.
Just don't listen to all those sexual stereotypes and stuff you may see on TV. While it may be true for some, it's generally untrue for most. And even if it was, I consider it entirely a moot point anyway. Simply put, some are, some aren't. Chances are, your friend is NOT one of the sick kind, so don't worry too much.
-
Well I've been kinda in your situation before, but on the opposite end. My roommate was really cool when I started turning furrry. He was the only one I wore my collar in front of. Basically as long as your cool with your roommate's furryness you two will get along fine. Just ask what your curious about, and I'm sure your roommate will be more than happy to answer. Make sure he knows your asking cause your curious and not cause you want to bash his ideas.
And another note: the furry fandom isn't defined by sexual interest. That is probably those most important thing to understand.
-
Honestly I agree with everyone here. They've covered just about everything there is to keep in mind. The only thing Ill add is he was most likely a fur before you found out and a fur now. He's still him so no need to act any differently than you already have been. Talking about it I'm sure will be fine but truly he's still the friend you felt so close to. ^_^ We're just like everyone else.....just our hugs are snugglier. XP
-
Personally, it seems utterly indefensible to arbitrarily dispense hate upon any group defined by sexual interest, but are there more specific sensitivities I should be aware of?
This is a mistake alot of people make, the stereotype about furdom being a sexual interest is floating around but it's not true for the vast majority of us. I agree with the others. Putting myself in his place, I'd say that simply being openminded and non-assuming would be plenty to make him feel comfortable talking about it.
You seem to be a polite and sensitive person, so I don't think you'll have any trouble.
-
So long as you're polite and tactful when/if you talk to him about it, as others have already said, you'll be fine. I know I would be thrilled if my friends were fine to my being a furry. I'm just not brave enough to tell them. :P And as Blackfang said, he's probably been a furry for a lot longer than you've known about it. I would also encourage you to mention that you dabbled in the furdom in the past. That will go a long way toward proving to him that you're genuinely interested/curious.
Best of luck. :)
-
If your friend is a furry, why worry? Nothing about him has changed other than self acceptance perhaps. This is nothing to worry about, it's just your friend realizing himself.
-
Yeah. Just be cool. This doesn't change anything. And it might cause you and your friend to become even closer. ;)
-
Especially if you become a furry yourself...
*idea*
EVERYBODY CROWD THE GUY! HE MUST JOIN US! :P
-
i wouldmt advised asking him about being a furry or his fursona unless your open minded , usealy when you ask a furry about there fursona or being a furry, you will be talking for a wail. as ive seen we usealy love to talk about been a furry, or at least i do. talk to him and keep an open mind. oh and if you do see CSI or 1000 ways to die please for the love of every thing that is good keep in minded that, that is BS its fake. once you start talking to him you never know you might become one as well. also you found a good forum, iam sure that most of our members here would love to talk about it, but if its more mature stuff ask one of our members who is over 18... iam one of them.
just a few facts
Statement: All furries are homosexual or bisexual
Truth: No, most furries are heterosexual
according to these results of a survey- http://www.klisoura.com/ot_... Look at the sixth category, on "Sexual Orientation"
Statement: All furries are into yiff
Truth: NO, that is a big lie,
Statement: All furries have fursuits
Truth: Most furries DO NOT have fursuits. About 19% of furries do own fursuit(s). Btw, I don't own a fursuit
Statement: Furry is a fetish
Truth: It's not a fetish,
Statement: Furries reject themselves as humans and behave like animals.
Truth: That is false, even though we know we like to act like animals, we do not reject ourselves as humans. ( i do but on a spiritual level because iam therian .... unrelated to being a furry)
Statement: Furries are evil.
Truth: You got to be kidding right?We make donations to foundations that save the lives of millions of animal wildlife. How is that evil?
-
I think this was generally covered in the link I provided at the top, isn't it..?
-
Statement: Furries are evil.
Truth: You got to be kidding right?We make donations to foundations that save the lives of millions of animal wildlife. How is that evil?
Probably because, and I quote: "If it doesn't benefit humans, then it's pointless." I forgot who said that.
Anyway, I don't think this guy has logged in ever since he posted the topic.
-
Anyway, I don't think this guy has logged in ever since he posted the topic.
Actually, he has logged in since... It's in his profile. >_>
Don't get so overly defensive about this thing, guys. Roomate42 posted some very polite and respectful questions. You guys should be equally respectful.
Locking this thread before it attracts drama.
Good luck with the roommate. I'm sure you'll be fine. :)