The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: icy wolf on May 24, 2011, 06:02:07 AM
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iam almost 20. and my mom keeps asking me when iam i going to find a mate ( she says a girl friend). I like girls but i dont think iam the type for a relation. I just never saw a relation working out for me, Iam submissive and in my previous relations i allays tried to make the person i was with happy and did what they want me to but the relation never lasted. I have had 2 RL relation and 2 on line relations, as i said before non have worked. Ive told my mom i dont plan on getting married or even dating i told her iam fine with out any one, she tells me i need to find some one and get married and have grand children, i dont even see my self have a cub with some one . Dose any one have any tips on telling her this or is this normal?
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It's your life bro. Don't let her persuade you to do something you might later regret. You could just tell her that it's a little soon in life for you to be thinking of marrying and having kids and that you'll see about it later.
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its normal. she's just getting old and wants grandkids before she dies. just keep on doin what youre doin.
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yeah ive told her that and she said " yeah go find a girl friend". shes not that old though shes 50
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I get this from my own family from time to time, though not as much as it seems you're getting.
I just give them the same response each time, that no I'm not seeing anyone and I'm not really bothered
or really looking for someone etc. You just have to do what's right for you, and not let other people
make you do anything that is against your will, similar to what Chris said, It's your life bro.
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It's completely normal. You may even decide to have kids later in life, 20 is still somewhat young and you have plenty of options, and time to choose them. If you don't want a relationship, that's fine! Buy your mum a labrador for christmas, it's what my mum told me she'd do if I was gay. :P
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i told her iam not look for any one just yet, then she starts talking about how i need to find some one. i think it is also beacuse my aunt got married at 17.... my mom got married at 30. just wondering but what dose a lab have to do with this?. I sort of do have a relation its online and well its with another male, and i think she might be on to it >.> and on top of this she keeps buging me that iam not going to find a mate because iam a furry >.>
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The thing about parents is that when they have kids (i.e. you), they always have expectations for how it's going to go. Unfortunately, they rarely realize what it actually entails, and that you are your own person who may make choices in life that don't result in what they want. My parents have always told me the same things to me, that I'm supposed to have grandchildren, just because they want to play with the kids. I hate kids, always have, and never want any of my own, but my parents are still always saying things like "We'll save your old toys for when you and your sister have kids." She said that exact thing to me this morning, in fact. Even though I've never in any way led them to believe I wanted kids, my mom is convinced I'll change my mind and have kids just because she expects things to work out that way.
Chances are, she'll never listen to you about it unless something happens that gives her a reality check. Just do what you do, be honest with her if you can, and let her find out what happens with your life on her own. She'll come around sooner or later.
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^ What she said, I pretty much don't want children either and I'm not going to do what my family tells me to do with my personal business.
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ive done work at a day camp befor and it want really to my liking, ive even told my mom that i dont really like kids, and i dont even know if i want them ( but if i do have them of couse i will want them) , iam fine with or with out them depends on what my mate wants and she tells me both of you better want kids. some times it seams like shes wants grand children so bad that she doesn't care if i get some one pergent. Ive told her for now i just want to foucse on school and then ill look for some one after, she then tells me me " foucse on school and find your self a girl friend" . None of my friends have a mate still, they just want to foucse on school but my sister on the other hand has had one after another. Iam not sure if she wants me to be like my sister and have keep on finding some one, i dont know if its beacuse she wants to see me with some one.
my dad has told her to leave me alone and ill find some one when i do he just need to focuse on school and she tell him the same stuff she tells me.
Any one else have any bother or sisters and your parents want you to find a mate just beacuse they have one.?