The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Alexei on March 08, 2011, 12:34:57 AM
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Today, my best friend called me a faggot.
The one person who I knew since before I could even talk, the one person who I thought would be my lifelong friend, a brother to me, to have someone who meant that much to me look me straight in the eye, spit in my face and call me a faggot somehow just broke my heart, I ended up going to the bathroom and crying for half and hour, and then skipped school for the rest of the day.
I got used to people making fun of me for being Bi as well as being a furry over the last couple of months since I (involuntary) came out, but I didn't think he'd sink that low, Every memory I'd ever experienced with him came rushing back to me, he was the only one of my friends who stayed with me in the hospital overnight after my accident last February, from that point on I thought that nothing could ever break our friendship and then this happens.
I always asked myself why it had to be me, in a school of over 500 people, I had to be the one Bi sexual furry, the one person that the guys would ridicule through the rest of the school year, all of their bullying just makes me wonder if I really am messed up, I can't change who I am and it eats me up inside that I won't ever be able to patch up any of my friendships, even the ones that actually meant something.
I just want to hide away and make everyone forget that I ever exsisted, I feel like I'm not allowed to go through a single day without being pushed around or made fun of, like I don't deserve to be happy anymore.
I can't even bring myself to do my schoolwork anymore, everyhing has just lost all intrest to me and I hate it, I want everything to be the way it was in junior high, I want to forget everything and run away from it all.
Hell, I don't even know what I want anymore.
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I attempted to add you on Skype.
I figured a one on one talk with voice would do much better than just text on a subject as sensitive as such.
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Wow, Alexei, I have the same problems as you except im straight and not Bi. Better things will come, trust me, they always do :)
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I attempted to add you on Skype.
I figured a one on one talk with voice would do much better than just text on a subject as sensitive as such.
Thanks for that, I added you.
Wow, Alexei, I have the same problems as you except im straight and not Bi. Better things will come, trust me, they always do :)
Thanks, Neo I really hope they do, I can't handle this right now.
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I imagine someone has already spoken to you, if not, then here's my (more radical) advice.
I have felt all you are going through. I had no friends the entire time I grew up, from kindergarten through high school everyone made fun of me for liking different things, for looking different, for being shy and clumsy. Any friend I made moved away to another town. Every time. And after my friends moved away, there was no-one to protect me from the bullying. I couldn't stand up for myself. Things got better as I got older but I was still all alone and every day was awkward, hoping I'd fit in and not embarass myself so they'd tease me. Abuse at home coupled with bad grades led me to think my life was going nowhere, it was all over for me and there was no reason to live. I tried to kill myself several times...but failed.
As depressing as it is, it taught me something. That sometimes you've got to look out for yourself in this world, not others and what they think of you. Think of yourself! Have you ever done anything wrong to deserve being bullied? No! While they may think being bi is wrong, it's still your problem not theirs and they need to back off. Think of yourself! Don't feel bad when you've done nothing wrong.
They are the ones at fault and they are the ones who should suffer. If you can, try to rekindle the friendship. If not, be glad those idiots are not in your life, your circle. They are missing out on a good friend. You're not missing out, they are.
Don't feel bad. I am bi as well and if people started picking on me I'd tell them to back off before I hurt them. Brutal, but it works. I only want positive people and friends in my life. The rest can suffer in their stupidity for all I care, they don't deserve my friendship.
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if you want to you can chat with me on msn about this
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theres nothing wrong with you Alexei. People fear what they are uncertain of, and that fear drives them to do hurtful things. I believe in you Alexei, to have the courage to rise above the fear, and be proud of yourself. Im always here for you and IM sure lots of others are too. *hugs Alexei*
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always here for you alexei, from day one :3
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I imagine someone has already spoken to you, if not, then here's my (more radical) advice.
I have felt all you are going through. I had no friends the entire time I grew up, from kindergarten through high school everyone made fun of me for liking different things, for looking different, for being shy and clumsy. Any friend I made moved away to another town. Every time. And after my friends moved away, there was no-one to protect me from the bullying. I couldn't stand up for myself. Things got better as I got older but I was still all alone and every day was awkward, hoping I'd fit in and not embarass myself so they'd tease me. Abuse at home coupled with bad grades led me to think my life was going nowhere, it was all over for me and there was no reason to live. I tried to kill myself several times...but failed.
As depressing as it is, it taught me something. That sometimes you've got to look out for yourself in this world, not others and what they think of you. Think of yourself! Have you ever done anything wrong to deserve being bullied? No! While they may think being bi is wrong, it's still your problem not theirs and they need to back off. Think of yourself! Don't feel bad when you've done nothing wrong.
They are the ones at fault and they are the ones who should suffer. If you can, try to rekindle the friendship. If not, be glad those idiots are not in your life, your circle. They are missing out on a good friend. You're not missing out, they are.
Don't feel bad. I am bi as well and if people started picking on me I'd tell them to back off before I hurt them. Brutal, but it works. I only want positive people and friends in my life. The rest can suffer in their stupidity for all I care, they don't deserve my friendship.
Thank you Sasha, it really means a lot for you to share your experiences with me.
You're absolutely right, I've never done anything wrong to upset them, I haven't flaunted my sexuality as they blame me of doing.
The ones who I can tell don't actually want to bully me are simply following the more aggressive "Leader" of the group so they won't be left out as well, so even if they wanted to stll be friends, they'd probably prefer to continue hanging out with the group. It's saddening in it's own way.
I'd love to tell them to back off but I've never even been in a fight before and I don't plan too, even if it was an empty threat, I wouldn't feel good about doing it.
if you want to you can chat with me on msn about this
Thanks Icy, I'll keep that in mind
theres nothing wrong with you Alexei. People fear what they are uncertain of, and that fear drives them to do hurtful things. I believe in you Alexei, to have the courage to rise above the fear, and be proud of yourself. Im always here for you and IM sure lots of others are too. *hugs Alexei*
That or they're hiding something. >.>
Either way, I'll try to be brave and overcome the insults and I won't hesitate to IM if I'm feeling down.
always here for you Alexei, from day one :3
I know you have Drake, and I thank you for being a loyal friend to me.
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remember, i have teh skype :3
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:3 same here!
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remember, i have teh skype :3
:3 same here!
Thanks guys, I won't forget. ;)
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Im rather sleepy, so couldnt stay awake to read everyones replies, but i wanted to answer you before i went to bed...
I'm bi, and i went to an all girls school.. A lot of people bullied me when i involuntarily came out.. A lot of them admitted when they were older that they were just being stupid or following the crowd.. However, a few came to me years later and told me they were sorry, and they were actually just too scared to say they were bi/gay too, and they were really proud of me for taking all the S thrown at me...
It is always hard going through school as 'the only' bi or fur.. and when people start taking the piss, no one will stand up and admit they're the same.. However, you need to keep your chin up and show them they're not getting to you.. ignore them.. When they call you a faggot or whatever, just say 'yeah, and?'.. Dont be embarrassed by who you are! you are amazing and beautiful!!
As for your best friend, well, close friends should know better.. I really hope he comes to his senses and apologises when he's calmed down.. However, I've learnt that if someone cant accept you for who you are, they're not worth having in your life, no matter how important they were or are to you!!
Hope everything sorts itself out and the bulling calms down!!
Smile :D
xox
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I'm probably the worst guy to talk about this since I've never gone through what you are sadly experiencing. But if I were you I would talk with my friend and tell him exactly what you told us here. All of this, being my sexuality, my love for the furry fandom and my fantasies I always keep them to me until I actually find someone to talk to. My mom, my friends and my school mates all think I'm straight and into the "normal" kind of stuff (and notice how I quoted normal, because I disagree with that). This is quite sad because I can only open my mind with you, fortunately there is a friend of mine (girl) that is quite open-minded. She currently likes me and I think that what ever I told her, she would remain neutral about it. But enough with my story.
High school is a very hard time for bisexuals or homosexuals, especially if everyone knows about them. It is very hard when someone asks how many children are you planning to have, or your mom telling you that she can't wait for grand kids. But there is a point where... well... I'm sorry. All I wanted to say is that I fully support you and I'm available if you want to vent anything (I'm always available and I'm always on the PC unless I'm at school) but I though I could give an advice on something I have no experience, dumb of me.
Well, I hope that the advices above have helped you in some way and remember that you are not alone.
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Im rather sleepy, so couldnt stay awake to read everyones replies, but i wanted to answer you before i went to bed...
I'm bi, and i went to an all girls school.. A lot of people bullied me when i involuntarily came out.. A lot of them admitted when they were older that they were just being stupid or following the crowd.. However, a few came to me years later and told me they were sorry, and they were actually just too scared to say they were bi/gay too, and they were really proud of me for taking all the S thrown at me...
It is always hard going through school as 'the only' bi or fur.. and when people start taking the piss, no one will stand up and admit they're the same.. However, you need to keep your chin up and show them they're not getting to you.. ignore them.. When they call you a faggot or whatever, just say 'yeah, and?'.. Dont be embarrassed by who you are! you are amazing and beautiful!!
As for your best friend, well, close friends should know better.. I really hope he comes to his senses and apologises when he's calmed down.. However, I've learnt that if someone cant accept you for who you are, they're not worth having in your life, no matter how important they were or are to you!!
Hope everything sorts itself out and the bulling calms down!!
Smile :D
xox
Thanks for your response, I really hope that someday these people will realize how stupid they were behaving in the future, I hope that I have the patience to ignore it until I'm out of this school, I'm going to see if I can build up the courage to talk to him someday, hopefully we can work something out.
I'm probably the worst guy to talk about this since I've never gone through what you are sadly experiencing. But if I were you I would talk with my friend and tell him exactly what you told us here. All of this, being my sexuality, my love for the furry fandom and my fantasies I always keep them to me until I actually find someone to talk to. My mom, my friends and my school mates all think I'm straight and into the "normal" kind of stuff (and notice how I quoted normal, because I disagree with that). This is quite sad because I can only open my mind with you, fortunately there is a friend of mine (girl) that is quite open-minded. She currently likes me and I think that what ever I told her, she would remain neutral about it. But enough with my story.
High school is a very hard time for bisexuals or homosexuals, especially if everyone knows about them. It is very hard when someone asks how many children are you planning to have, or your mom telling you that she can't wait for grand kids. But there is a point where... well... I'm sorry. All I wanted to say is that I fully support you and I'm available if you want to vent anything (I'm always available and I'm always on the PC unless I'm at school) but I though I could give an advice on something I have no experience, dumb of me.
Well, I hope that the advices above have helped you in some way and remember that you are not alone.
Thanks man, even if you haven't experianced anything like this, you talk like a true pro. :)
That's what it was like for me in the beginning, in a way it feels kind of good to be able to express myself freely, no matter the amount of riducule that I recieve.
And thank you for the encourgement, you guys have made me feel so much better about my situation.
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Well, that's why we are here isn't it?
Talk without fearing to be judged.
Find people with the same likings.
And basically, we are here for everything, we are not only a furry forum, we are a TRUE community.
I really hope you get pass this level in your life very quickly. Sometimes I feel very depressed at school, but knowing that when I arrive home there are people that I can talk with just makes me get that push to go through the day :)
Seriously, you guys [removed] rock :D
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My life is also horrible, ill keep you in my prayers ( yeah shoot me for being a christian with the good in my heart)
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My life is also horrible, ill keep you in my prayers ( yeah shoot me for being a christian with the good in my heart)
No one is going to shoot you for being a Christian and who wants to can be hit with the ban hammer. Everyone should respect everyone's beliefs.
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My life is also horrible, ill keep you in my prayers ( yeah shoot me for being a christian with the good in my heart)
I accept everyone, my mom's a christian and my dad's an atheist so I can live with pretty much everyone.
Well, that's why we are here isn't it?
Talk without fearing to be judged.
Find people with the same likings.
And basically, we are here for everything, we are not only a furry forum, we are a TRUE community.
I really hope you get pass this level in your life very quickly. Sometimes I feel very depressed at school, but knowing that when I arrive home there are people that I can talk with just makes me get that push to go through the day :)
Seriously, you guys [removed] rock :D
That's exactly how I feel, that's why I love the furry fandom so much is that every preson I've ever met is so friendly and willing to help
Thanks for the well wishes. :)
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Thats what we're here for. *hugs Alexei*
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friendly!! like drake!! *glomplicks alexei*
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Thats what we're here for. *hugs Alexei*
Thanks Macid. *Hugs* :)
friendly!! like drake!! *glomplicks alexei*
Exactly! :D
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I imagine someone has already spoken to you, if not, then here's my (more radical) advice.
I have felt all you are going through. I had no friends the entire time I grew up, from kindergarten through high school everyone made fun of me for liking different things, for looking different, for being shy and clumsy. Any friend I made moved away to another town. Every time. And after my friends moved away, there was no-one to protect me from the bullying. I couldn't stand up for myself. Things got better as I got older but I was still all alone and every day was awkward, hoping I'd fit in and not embarass myself so they'd tease me. Abuse at home coupled with bad grades led me to think my life was going nowhere, it was all over for me and there was no reason to live. I tried to kill myself several times...but failed.
As depressing as it is, it taught me something. That sometimes you've got to look out for yourself in this world, not others and what they think of you. Think of yourself! Have you ever done anything wrong to deserve being bullied? No! While they may think being bi is wrong, it's still your problem not theirs and they need to back off. Think of yourself! Don't feel bad when you've done nothing wrong.
They are the ones at fault and they are the ones who should suffer. If you can, try to rekindle the friendship. If not, be glad those idiots are not in your life, your circle. They are missing out on a good friend. You're not missing out, they are.
Don't feel bad. I am bi as well and if people started picking on me I'd tell them to back off before I hurt them. Brutal, but it works. I only want positive people and friends in my life. The rest can suffer in their stupidity for all I care, they don't deserve my friendship.
i second this...i was the same. i never had a friend until i got into college, and even then i sorta kep myself away from people..cause i dont trust them.
you have weather some hard storms...and no this isnt fair. and how cruel of him to drag you this far along making you think you had something special then betray you that way..he doesnt deserve you.
you do what makes YOU happy, up theres.