The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Kaprika on February 11, 2011, 07:08:10 AM
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my mother is officialy driving me up a damn wall. she wont leave me alone!
my entire life she smothered me, kept me on a short leash, manipulated me and used me..and kept me in the dark so id "alwase need mommy" so i couldnt function without her on my own. but im finnaly out on my own. i have an apartmet with a dog, bills, a car, a job a life...my OWN life.
i left..and didnt tell her where i went. the less she knew the better, but that didnt stop her from interrogating all my friends, but they told her nothing.
so i left..and she harrassed me with calls and texts...then emails..
she sent me these messages over and over..and kept reffering herself in the third person for some reason. here is one of em.
she wants your mailing address, have it ready
she can AND WILL get it o.t.h.e.r . ways
- but she is a nice mommy and thinks her lovely daughter will lovingly provide it...right away
before other unpleasnt and embarrassing means are resorted to....
constant texting, constant badgering. i tried to get a restrainging order but they wouldnt grant it (apparently in MD its not illegal to threaten, its only a felony if she follows through and does something to me when thats ALREADY too late!)
but on she goes...and then a week ago my boss approaches me and tell she came to my work and was asking him where i lived. that made me furious, then my friend calls and tells me she was at his house asking the same thing.
this is getting past ridiculous! she wont leave me be!
...then she starts REALLY playing her old tricks...she knows im handicapped, and dangles health insurance over me...saying she will give it to me if i give her my social security number..my adres...and my cell number cause she lost it..
..i told her where she could shove it...
but now it seems all my hiding was all for nothing, cause i got a letter in the mail from my stupid verizon company saying they were notified i changed my adress and on the letter it has my current adress....and that they were sending a copy of this letter to my MOTHERS!
so now she has my adress.....freakin brilliant...
i have no idea what she is gonna do when she gets it.....i hope she doesnt come near my place, cause i cant assure anyone that i wont beat her skull in with my cane..
im free now, cant she get it through her thick head im not her property anymore!!
what the heck does a person DO in this situation!
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Please be careful, I don't know the situation enough but please don't get arrested or anything horrible... the woman ain't worth it.
She clearly has problems and she is your mother...it's what they do...they are the bringers of misery. But you are a strong person and I am sure you can handle the crazy lady, just stay strong and confident and get your close friends to help you if worse comes to worse. I wish I could help more but this is a family matter and what ever it is I wish you well but think about it. Your mother could be ill and she won't be around forever...she might not have long to live. Remember the plan is to have you out live her and you have a happy free life. Don't let anything drag you down, not even her, you have friends and a home and a job, these are very good things. And they are your things and you belong only to yourself. Ask your boss for help if anything, tell him she can't be trusted and that you need help with keeping her away. Worse comes to worse you get more hours at work, and if she shows up your boss can ban her from the store cuz it's bad for business or something. Good Luck...you'll need it.
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Indeed it would be a good idea for you to get her banned from your workplace, and i'm sure if you explained the situation vaguely to your boss, they'd be very understanding; (they dont want their employees being afraid to go to work over something right)
and to me it kind of sounds like she's mentally ill; Talking in third person and having this unbelievable obsession with you just isn't how mentally well people act. If this company have sent the letter, isn't there a way where you can make a complaint about that, or get some legal action against them? They should have consulted you first in forms of any other details first (phone number- email address etc), thats how I think it works over here anyway.
If she does find out and harrasses you on your property, or steps on it without your permission, you should go to the courts again on the case of trespassing and harrasment grounds, and maybe get some other sanction on her (maybe this could help with a restraining order in the future) I would make sure you had proof that you expressed clearly to her that you didn't want her near you, your workplace or your house or other property (such as an email to her describing this). But i'm not a lawyer, only they can really tell you how to go about it. But I hope I gave you a few ideas anyway. Silly woman; don't let her get you down. You've done so much for yourself. If you harm her in any way, you could lose all that, and she would have won.
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ive told her to back off twice VERY clearly in emails. ive explored my legal Rights...which are practicaly nonexistant....
as for the letter she is getting, i got it. so she likely has it already..and i dont want to have to deal with her anymore. ive swallowed her crap my whole life, and played it to her rules to maintain her favor enough so i dont get the whip. im tired of playing nice..and im so SO sick of. she medicated me since i was three, locked me up for two weeks cause i went to visit my birth father when i turned 18 and uses my abusive stepfather as a weapon to make me do what she wants!
i didnt want to have to deal with her anymore..sure i can call the cops if she shows up, sure i can take preventative measures..but thats AFTER im gonna have to take even MORE of her drama and crap. i wanted it to end when i left, not follow me where i went.
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all i can say is , that she is DAMN EVIL ! :o
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how come she is so obsessed of where you live?
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how come she is so obsessed of where you live?
i havent figured it out yet, but she has been trying her damndest to get it. but whatever it is, it cant be good...
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*pats Kaprika on the back* If your step father is being threatening towards you, I think you can get a restraining order against him or something. If he's out of the picture, what else does your mom have to use against you?
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*pats Kaprika on the back* If your step father is being threatening towards you, I think you can get a restraining order against him or something. If he's out of the picture, what else does your mom have to use against you?
my stepfather couldnt give a rats ass that im gone, he was happy when i left the first time. he actualy didnt want me to come back, im sure they fight about me even now..he likely wants her to drop her hunt for me.
but she doesnt need Jhon to give me trouble, she is EXTREMELY manipulateive, two faced and plays dirty. whatever she wants she wont give up till she gets it or her trail for me runs cold.
she doesnt like doing the dirty work of dealin out beatings...but that doesnt make her any less dangerous
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start a brand new life maybe?
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start a brand new life maybe?
me, theo, rena and her baby just got settled in our new apartment..i cant uproot them for this, we cant afford any other place nearby to all our jobs. its expensive living in MD
i know its coming...i just wish i knew what IT was..you never know what my mother is after
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maybe its your step farther thats making her do it.
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maybe its your step farther thats making her do it.
no, as i said. he WANTED me gone.
he has told me to my face "your not my kid...YOU i dont give a shit about"
he wouldnt want me back at the house, he never even aknowledges my existance when i DID live there. the only time he talked to me was to yell or threaten me
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ouch iam sry to hear that. if she come dosnt answer the door till she leaves if you dont want to talk to her.
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she BETTER not come here....i dont need the fear of her after me all my life..i dont even feel safe at work anymore, i keep worying that she is gonna barge through the doors and start shit and get me fired just by assosiation..
*sigh*...i hate having to feel like i need to look over my shoulder constantly.
i even have to duck away and hide when i run into them at Target or such...so they dont see me and follow me home.
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tazers...how much do they cost
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How on earth can you not get her for harassment if she's doing this to you, is what I want to know? Especially if you have the proof with the emails and whatnot. I mean, she hasn't come to your property yet, but this is harassment if I've ever heard the word used appropriately.
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well maryland isnt really set up well to defend the victims..
..unless she has done something to leave them to believe she is a PHYSICAL threat to me, they dont bother with it.
they said to me at the courthouse "if we granted a restraining/peace order to every person that ever "didnt like" someone we would have everyone in here getting them against EVERYONE"
and her extensive hystory didnt mean shit. they said "well your her daughter, mabey she just wants to know where you are and that your ok?"
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Bring them proof. Print out her mails, tell them how she treated you as a child and anything else that might help. Maybe bring a friend that knows first had (or a good second) what she is capable of.
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bring as much evidences as you can to a judge.
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i did, it was disregarded..
i was litteraly laughed out of the courtroom, my face was SO red.
I ended up sounding like a whiney teenager bitching about how her mommy was mean to her to them.
until she DOES something to me i cant count on the system to help
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try a different court house, maybe the judge there will help.
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its the only court house i KNOW of thats within reasonable distance...and the one i went to was 20 minutes away
i dont have alot in the way of gas money to make the back and forth trips for that
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That is so ridiculous. Age should not play a role in the credibility of the story. I hate when adults treat me like I'm dumb because I'm not whatever age they are.
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What about your boss? Is he a nice person? Because maybe he could come with you and tell them himself since he's met her. It is worth asking, because if he tells them his employee is in danger...
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What about your boss? Is he a nice person? Because maybe he could come with you and tell them himself since he's met her. It is worth asking, because if he tells them his employee is in danger...
he is...nice..ish......but he wouldnt go to court for me, i dont think it would matter.
and he doesnt really know her. he just had her come in asking for where i live.
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I just had a thought... Im fairly sure that you can call your county sheriffs office and tell them that your mother is a threat to herself or others and they should pick her up and give her and manditory psychological evaluation, I dont know how easy it will be to convince the Maryland police, but its pretty easy down here in Arkansas. So I would give it a try, the worst they can say is no...
i WISH. but that would be a short lived attempt..she volunteers at the local fire dept as a EMT..she is freinds with alot of the local law enforcement and emergency units. she knows the right people, and id not get far with those accusations.
honestly, i crinnge when i see cops or ambulances on the road..im afraid the cops will pull me over to look at my licence for my adress for her. or that the ambulance will have my mother in it and she will follow me home. its unnerving..i cnat even trust the ONE people yoru supposed to depend on
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did they send her your bill ? if they haven't sent it yet it may not be to late
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did they send her your bill ? if they haven't sent it yet it may not be to late
they would have sent it out the same day as mine was..and we dont live more than 15 minutes apart..so she likely got it the same day if not sooner. she is way closer to the post office.
i know for a fact that she has it by now
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If you want I'll bring out the big guns and get your local Marshals office to see if they can get your local law enforcment officers to give here a psych eval, PM me if you want me to try.
sounds like a awesome plan...but ill save that if she does ONE more thing. i sent her this email and am waiting for her to F up one more time
your about to get a letter in the mail thats from the verizon store....and im going to warn you right now. its got my adress on it...
..and if you so much as show your face within so much as the neighborhood of my residence ill have you hauled in for opening my mail. thats an ilegal offence and i will know exactly how you got my adress.
and you better stay away from my job, my boss told me that you came asking for my home adress and ill tell you what i was LIVID.
if i hear from my freinds, co workers or my boss that youve been snooping around like a damned stalker hunting me down one more time, your going to find me on your front porch and i will NOT be plesant.
GROW UP AND STOP HUNTING ME DOWN, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ANYMORE.
GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD
and you can keep your health insurance...id not want it anyhow, knowing you. you would dangle it above my head like you did with everything else and blackmail me with it to make me do what you want.
...you dont intimidate me anymore.
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let me know how the email when.
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let me know how the email when.
so far nothing, but im waiting...
i dont know if she WILL answer it, or even read it
her mentality often is "oh...she is being rude and rebellios..i dont have to read this crap"
and deletes it, she is that way on the phone. whenever id argue back she would hang up.
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She sounds like she has a classic case of hyperobsessive delusions, they are common with bipolar and schizophrenic patients. So if you can get your mom to a certified psychiatrist you just might be able to have her instutionalized.
that would SO be poetic justice...she got me locked away before cause she was pissed off at me and told my doctors a BS story taht i was suicidal.
and she medicated me since i was 3 years old...saying im mental and I NEED the meds.
ADD...Asbergers syndrome...Tourretes..she got me diagnosed with ALOT and i took ALOT of pills
..id LOVE to get her diagnosed with that
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From what Im hearing it would not be hard. If what you are telling me is true than she defenetly needs mental help and any psychatrist worth his weight in salt will be able to spot this, I mean i did, and i just have a masters so if you can get her looked at then your home free.
yeah. so if she does ONE more thing...yeah...were doing that
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I... understand you completely. My mother is painfully similar. Rach time I tried to move out, she found some way to sabotage it. Each friend I had, she found a way to drive away. My dad is always on her side.
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speaking of dads, i noticed you said something that hinted that she doesn't got on to well with your real dad. see if you can use that to your advantage in some way. like if she trys something say your going to live with him for a while andd that could make her make a wrong move, setting her up for ubler and you to get her psyc cheaked.
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speaking of dads, i noticed you said something that hinted that she doesn't got on to well with your real dad. see if you can use that to your advantage in some way. like if she trys something say your going to live with him for a while andd that could make her make a wrong move, setting her up for ubler and you to get her psyc cheaked.
well i dont think that would matter jack, im already living on my own. where i live i dont think would matter, and the reason she never wanted me to find out bout him was cause she didnt want me knowing about him..about THEM and why the divorce happened.
my mother was a money grubbing cheating W****. she cheated on him alot, even till the end. the man she was seeing when she was pregnant with me and eventualy left my father for is now my stepdad. he made alot more money.
he is an abusive ASS but she doesnt care, he could beat her till sunday and she wouldnt care. so long as she has a comfy financial chair to sit on, doesnt have to get her own job and gets to do and buy whatever she wants she dont care. im fairly certain she cheats on him too. she likes to spend the night at the firestation alot, and with more than half the people there young men between the ages of 23-32ish...she has the pick of the litter cause most of em are single.
she knows i talk to my father now..she knows ive seen him, so if i were to take off with him i doubt it would impact her much more. cause i aready know everything now
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well that threw me idea out the window. but what i'm trying to sugest is for you to start playing dirty if she is. i mean you could go to the station when shes not there, get a confesion if there's one to get then blackmail her like she blackmailed you. but you might want to run that by ulber, cos i'm not sure if that passes the line into gaol (thats how jail is spelt here if you don't know what it means) time.
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Well I know adultery inst a felony, and im fairly sure it isnt a misdeamenor is the state of Maryland, but even if it is and this is her first offense, she wont do any jail time for it I garantee you.
i have no way to proove adultery. i just want her put away so she cant come after me anymore, either in a jail cell or a hospital for mental ilnnes i dont care
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no not adultery, tell her to leave you alone or you'll tell your step dad she's cheating on him. that should keep her busy for a while
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no not adultery, tell her to leave you alone or you'll tell your step dad she's cheating on him. that should keep her busy for a while
i have no way to get him alone to tell him that. he works all day and when he comes home mom is home too....or...i COULD tape a note to his car window...and leave a anonomous note saying
"she is cheating on you"
dunno if he would buy it though
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Human beings are naturally suspicious creatures, if you put a note like that on his car he may not belive it at first, but it will plant the seeds of mistrust. Hopefully he will grow suspicious and start looking into her personal life, he should eventually figure out whats going on, and if he doesnt it wouldn't hurt to nudge him in the right direction.
she is secretive as it is. she blows a friggen FUSE when he touches her laptop she is alwase changing the password. she is gone all day "on duty" at the station for days sometimes. i think he might get suspicious..after all she cheated on her husband before to be with him..why WOUDLNT she cheat on him too?
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It sounds like it wouldnt take much to get him investigating, and the fire station would be the first logical choice, but if can get him to figure it out for himslef that would be best. Remember, she played mind games with you, you play mind games with her. Dont fight fire with fire, fight fire with a frickin flamethrower.
she did her damndest to ruin my life, i thinks its only right i do the same to her.
i want to spite the woman..and i dont have the patience to wait till she is old as dirt wanting to come live with me cause she is to elderly to take care of herself..for the record though i had full intentions of telling her to go live in a [removed] box on the road for all i care if she ever came to me looking for sympathy. a nursing home is to good for her.
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Be careful not to become so focused on your mother's actions and getting revenge that you find yourself stooping to her level and becoming just like her. Rather than being overcome with hate and spite, instead seek to revel in satisfaction and confidence you'd get from knowing you've overcome her issues and become better than her.
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Be careful not to become so focused on your mother's actions and getting revenge that you find yourself stooping to her level and becoming just like her. Rather than being overcome with hate and spite, instead seek to revel in satisfaction and confidence you'd get from knowing you've overcome her issues and become better than her.
..well i WOULD if i was aiming to be "the better person" in this situation. thing about that is i am spiteful, and vengeful and am not beyond getting my paws dirtied to get the satisfaction of not just a vicotry...but to seek a crushing defeat by my enemy.
...YES im petty..
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I'm not trying to be condescending here, but if your mother is as bad as you say she is, she's probably just getting enjoyment just knowing she's getting under your skin harassing you without having to do anything. It's kind of like the concept of don't feed the trololol or you'll just fuel them even more. If she knows this sort of thing riles you up, she's likely to keep doing it until you do something stupid, then put you in jail for it.
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Be careful not to become so focused on your mother's actions and getting revenge that you find yourself stooping to her level and becoming just like her. Rather than being overcome with hate and spite, instead seek to revel in satisfaction and confidence you'd get from knowing you've overcome her issues and become better than her.
..well i WOULD if i was aiming to be "the better person" in this situation. thing about that is i am spiteful, and vengeful and am not beyond getting my paws dirtied to get the satisfaction of not just a vicotry...but to seek a crushing defeat by my enemy.
...YES im petty..
Just keep in mind there is a diffrence between justice and vengance.
is ther REALLY a difference?
there a means to the same end...just one is supposed to make you "fell better" about it and follow the good litle boys and girls book.
if there is one thing i learned from life that it tought me...if the other person isnt going to show you mercy...then you shoudlnt either