The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Nrein on December 10, 2010, 01:40:00 AM
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So, when it comes to having friends over, I generally have an open door policy. I don't mind if I have nothing going on, and nothing better to do, and someone just pops in for an hour or two. But... it becomes an annoyance after it's an almost everyday thing.
Then, it doesn't help when they allow themselves to anything about the house, such as movies, games, TV, and food (mostly food.) And they start to feel that they have more then enough right to be there.
Today, I had to do Lights and Sound for the Winter Instrumental over at the school. I was having one friend over to help out. Then, my other good friend said he was gonna tag along, so that was fine. Next thing I know... there are a total of five kids at my house, not including myself. And all packed into what is I believe a 10' by 10' room, maybe just a wee bit more. I proceeded to try to let them know, while keeping my cool, that I only needed/wanted the original two friends over. Then, I got into a big argument with my cousin about how even though he's family, he still needs to be asking me if he can go over. For the past two weeks, I've had someone over everyday, minus when I had my MRI, and when I was sick.
Worst of all, my parents TELL them that regardless of what I say, they can be there, and that I can't tell them no. And I find it odd that my parents are giving my friends permission to be in the house, in my room, even when I don't want them there. Then, they turn around today, when they got home, and freaked out on *me* saying that I was being a jerk to them, and that it's their house and I have no right to tell them to leave, or when they can't and can be there.
Is there something wrong with that? Or is the more wrong thing that I feel that I might need some sort of "alternative" to my home, so that I can get privacy?
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Aww...that's not right at all. But just think about it, You won't be living with them forever. you can survive anything for a short time.
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Anything, maybe. But not everything.
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Its not really a lack of privacy, more a lack of your friends being polite. It's respectful if you ask before just doing something.... Other wise its just being rude. But it could be your fault for not putting down ground rules and boundries with friends. As for the parent thing, I have to side with them. It is there house, they do pay for it, and allow you to stay.... Heck i had to move back in with mine due to safety issues. I pay rent but i still live under their rules. But id say try to set rules and boundries with your friends. and your cousin... Yes hes family but that doesnt mean he can walk all over you.
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Oh, believe me, I have set rules.
Example; no more then two people at a time, no consumption of food that is limited (IE: if there's one drink left, then leave it, because we hardly have cash to shop now), etc etc.
But, regardless, still happens. And, like I said, when I put my foot down today, I was told I wasn't allowed to DX
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Sounds to me like the main problem is your parents aren't taking into consideration what's best for /you/. You seem to be doing an okay job at telling your friends when enough is enough, so what you might need to do is talk to your parents. Tell /them/ that you'd like to have more time away from your friends, and try to act like you're leaving it up to them to decide what to do, since parents usually react best when you're pretending to respect their authority. =P
just my two cents. =]
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Hahaha, this much is true =P
And, your two cents are welcome! =D
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What is your living situtation anyway? Might help us give better advice
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Living situation as in? (Sorry, practically just waking up, so I'm a bit slow right now DX )
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Hrmm... I have this same problem Dx
But a couple of friends of mine (suspended/expelled for various reasons) keep breaking into my house so when I come home they are already in my room, using me stuff! (I actually think one of them, who is goth and quite possibly a klepto, stole my collar)
I suppose its my fault though... I forgot my key one day while they where tagging along and I guess they learned the inherit flaw of my house's design....
But its almost everyday now! And some of the others will just bike right on down to my place... MAN! I need to buy ADT and a tazer Dx.
Anyhow, this is your rant, so here's my advice.
If you don't have people breaking in, 'alternative' places too find some privacy do work. I like taking a jog through a park near my house (Its great, tree's and hills, very few people and an awesome place to work out).
If space is your problem, set something up outside or something.
And to your parents... This may come off as a bit callous to some people, but if they keep telling them to come over, talk to your freinds. Put your foot down- If they come over, you wont let them in if they didn't give you notice. If your parents let them in, have 'plans' and head on out.
If its your cousin.... Why is your cousin coming over everyday? Family or not, it aint his house, tell him/her to bugger off, its sometimes the best way, 'cuz if they don't listen to you they obviously think your bluffing when you say things ATM, so the answer is pretty simple. Don't bluff.
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Wow, that's some pretty good advice right there =p
And, actually, about that "breaking in" part =/
Let's just say that we found out that one of my friends (possibly two of them) have been in fact coming into our house, without our knowledge, and eating our food and such.
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Sounds like you need to put a padlock on your fridge.
Actually, I suggest doing this anyway- keeps people out.
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Hahaha XP
That, and a coin-slot for when they take something else. Food isn't gunna pay for itself!
(Off-topic: did you get the last PM I sent you? my FF froze right when I clicked send, so I dunno if it went through or not DX )
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No, I didn't! :o
Although I have been getting a lot of PM's, it may have been lost....
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Hahaha XP
I'll resend then.
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Please stay on topic.
And you might want to think about asking your parents to let you decide who goes in or out of your room. They can let your cousin come over, after all, but being in the house doesn't mean he/she needs to be in your room.
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Yeah, I actually just had this talk with them.
Pretty much, they'll keep him occupied as much as needed.
But, I think my plan is, I'll just play The Lord of the Rings audio books over my speakers, and he'll get bored and leave XD