The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: shadowfox on December 05, 2010, 09:08:21 PM
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Ok i thought i'd be able to distract myself from this but i just can't seem to get it outa my head....
Last night i had a really great night hanging with my friends, having a few beers around the bonfire, joking around... pretty much actually getting away from having my yearly week from hell.... This morning i was actually feeling good and finally had a really good nights sleep... then.. well.. here's the FULL convo...
Friend: Hey
Me: hey
Friend: what's up?
Me: nothing really
Friend: what's up with you lately?
Me: What do you mean?
Friend: well this whole week you've been so depressed about the whole 3 years ago Dec. 3 you lost the one girl you've wanted to marry because you (cuss word here) up and such. And then all of a sudden today you're super happy as if there was nothing
Me: ...
Friend: what?
Me: nothing... *goes offline*
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Why do people have to be so stupid and do this stuff? Why is it that i can't seem to just get it outa my head?
Btw they ain't really a true friend... they're more of an acquaintance that usually talks to me at random... I really can't think of how i can get over this.....
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That sucks, mate...
Not much I can say, really, but man...
Ouch.
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Wow. I know exactly what you're talking about. Something very similar happened to me.
Friends are jerks at times.
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thanks guys....
he just tried to talk to me again a few minutes ago... as if he did nothing wrong <.<
i still just can't get it outa my head for some reason... usually i just brush it off, but for some reason i just can't let it go...
maybe it's just that i was pretty much just thrown back into the deep depression i had just gotten myself out of?
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Well, I'm not gonna go into any crazy details (this isn't my rant, after all.)
But when something very similar happened to me, I could never forget it. Everyday I rethink it at least once.
But, I've learned to live with the thought, and then it doesn't bother me again. And when friends bring it up, I learned just to laugh at it then be bothered
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the only thing I can say is you can't let the bad things get you down and when things go wrong the only thing you can do is walk away from your troubles and smoke a cigar...
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usually i don't....
though every year since i lost that girl i've always had my worst depression symptoms the same exact day >.< whether i remember it or not...........
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I know what you're going through. Happens to me to
Though, it's more toward my Birthday, so every year it gets somewhat better
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Well, first of all try not to presume things.
Perhaps he didn't even know he did anything wrong.
Maybe he was trying to find out if you truely we're alright.
Although it may not have been one of the greatest ways to check up on you, it was still a sign of him caring.
It doesn't make him a jerk.
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unfortunately this isn't the first time he's done this... and not the first person he's done this to..... he seems to take enjoyment out of ruining people's good days >.< or just has a really bad habit of saying the wrong things at the very wrong times <.<
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I think its option two.
& if not, than maybe hes not a good friend.
Have you even tried talking to him about it?
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not yet...
every time i try i just end up getting mad... and knowing how i am... trying to talk to someone i'm mad at rarely makes the situation better >.<
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not yet...
every time i try i just end up getting mad... and knowing how i am... trying to talk to someone i'm mad at rarely makes the situation better >.<
Just try.
Get yourself in a calm state and reveal to him how you feel.
Feelings are feelings.
They are never right or wrong.
They just are.
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the convo:
Me: hey
Friend: what's up?
Me: you know the other day you really ruined my day
Friend: I did? how?
Me: you reminded me of my depression and why i was depressed
Friend: when did i do that?
Me: like 2 days ago...
Friend: oh ok
*2-3 minute Pause when i was distracted by something*
Friend: Hey i gotta go talk to you whenever *offline*
no apology no nothing... and so far two people said he was still talking to them...
can i just throw him out of a window? lol
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Never presume anything untill your 100% sure.
Maybe he was embarrassed and felt a jerk.
Maybe not.
Keep trying to approach him about it, be a bit more assertive to tell you how you feel.
In the end if he doesn't really care ask him, "Do you care enough about me as a friend to atleast try to understand how you made me feel? Could you atleast give me an apology or something of some awareness that your aware you hurt me?"
Something like that.
In the end, he could just be a bad friend.
In the end bad friends don't matter.
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yeah... maybe.... i'm just gunna TRY and forget the whole thing..... maybe just ignore him completely........
thx iKero
still doesn't help me forgive him... but at least i feel a little better about it >.<
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Well sometimes friends (or **********) like to remind you of your past. If they're not entirely oblivious or just ********, then that makes them a ****. I'm sorry to hear about this. I know how hard things can be to forget or come to terms with. In times like these it's nice to roll up a fat one and listen to beats to get your mind off of things and chill out. Invite some (real) friends over and hang out. Sucking apologies out of these sort of people can be difficult and, usually, it isn't worth the effort. You might get one they don't mean or feel like they'll give you because you asked for it.
It is almost impossible to forget the things you've done or that have happened. The best I can tell you is to look forward to the future and all the great things it holds. Look forward, not back. Live in the moment and learn from mistakes, and most of all, be the better man. Good luck to you, shadowfox. I hope things turn out for the best.
Try to be careful with your words.
Some words could be considered a insult or disrespectful when put in certain contexts.
Just be a bit more concious of what you say please.
Thank you. <3
-iKero-chu
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My familys motto has always been "People are stupid". And dont take that in the wrong context that includes my family :p. But in a lot of way its true. People do stupid things all the time and I'm sure he didn't mean to actually hurt you or bring up bad feelings, he just wasnt thinkinh before he spoke.
As for letting it go, sometimes it's hard to do. *Hugs shadow* but try not to let it bother you too greatly and have some fun! ^.=.^
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Sometimes you have to make the hard decision of whether a friend / acquaintance is worth the effort and upset, or whether it's better just to block and delete them and be happier without them..
This person doesn't seem to be good for your depression or your self esteem..
Of course its your decision completely, but in my opinion, you don't need people like that in your life..
If you surround yourself with people that make you happy your depression will, in time, get a lot better..
Xox