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Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: lady z on October 02, 2010, 04:51:46 PM

Title: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: lady z on October 02, 2010, 04:51:46 PM
Hello,

I guess i'll just jump right in here.  I'm a girl who really likes this guy, (who doesn't know i like him) and earlier this week he told me he was a furry.

This doesn't change how i feel about him, but I really want to learn more about furries and if they ever date non-furs.

I don't know if it matters much, but his furcode lists him as a domestic cat.  Judging from his second life avatar, there also might be some fox mixed in.
his furcode also says that his character is a "general alter-ego, someone to draw pictures of, a role playing character and someone to write stories about."

I realize that the best way to find out more about this would be to ask him, but I'm ridiculously shy.

So.... yeah, please give me advice/stories/anything else you think would be helpful.

Thanks!
-lady z

PS: sorry for double posting this in the Friends of Furries section and here, but upon closer inspection it seemed like this board would be better.
Title: Re: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on October 02, 2010, 05:43:20 PM
It really doesn't matter that he's a furry. Unless he's one of those misanthropic nutjobs, his furryness is not a barrier. It's an opportunity. You know of something that he likes, so ask him about it. Yes you're shy, but it's a lot better than running round the bush until you're  dizzy. If you can't do that then... well I don't what you can do. You could stalk him but that's creepy and invasive. You could ask his friends but then... you're his friend. He obviously trusts you and if you show and interest then he'll probably be more than happy to talk about furryness, and himself, and things that he likes.
Title: Re: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: Nali on October 02, 2010, 05:45:14 PM
I personally wouldn't see why it'd be a problem.  You like who you like, be they furry or not, I wouldn't see a problem with the relationship.
Title: Re: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: WingedZephyr on October 03, 2010, 03:19:43 AM
Yes, furries date non-furs. My boyfriend wasn't one when we started going out. Later on he ended up being interested in the furry fandom as well, but I wouldn't have had a problem with it if he didn't.
Title: Re: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: ___ on October 03, 2010, 05:03:22 AM
Well, I usally don't date humans, but that wouldn't stop me if he was and he loved me for who I was. But some people don't really care for dating them at all, and will avoid them like the plauge. But for the most part, its ok with them as long as you treat them with the same caring and love you do for anyone else.
Title: Re: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: josh_down on October 03, 2010, 01:22:36 PM
i personally would feel very strange being in an intimate relationship with a non-fur, or at least someone who didn't know about it... but that's me! if your man is different which he may very well be, then there's no reason why furries shouldn't be with you normal people (jk)

plus, if you really wanna make his day, talking to him about it would be great! i think i speak for quite a few furries when i say that we don't get many chances to talk about it with non-furs, so perhaps the conversation will pull you closer together. it did with my ex (who wasn't really a furry, but had a strong relationship with the scene while i was with him), and the conversation really brought us close.

i wish you the best of luck
Title: Re: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: Flyin' on October 03, 2010, 01:25:28 PM
I personally wouldn't see why it'd be a problem.  You like who you like, be they furry or not, I wouldn't see a problem with the relationship.
This.

There should be no problems if you love them that much. If you struggle with the whole furry concept, just talk to them about it. I'm sure they'll find joy in explaining to you, and you may become closer because of it...
Title: Re: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: Monster Mash on October 03, 2010, 03:33:48 PM
I honestly don't see what the big deal is with dating a non fur. The fandom is just a hobby so why should it matter if the person you're with is a fur or not?
Title: Re: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: Vee Katame: His Wolfy on October 03, 2010, 04:23:05 PM
Furries do date non-furs. My boyfriend wasn't a furry when I started dating him and he had actually believed the stereotype about furries just wanting yiff and being pervs. Seeing that I was a furry showed him that the stereotype isn't true for everyone and he actually became a furry.

Don't take this as me saying the furries always convert their non-furry partners into furries because we don't do it on purpose (at least I know I didn't). So you don't really need to worry about him trying to turn you into a furry.

Anyways, talk to him about it. If he opened up to you and told you he was a furry, that means that he really trusts you. Believe me, it's hard for furries to tell others what they are most of the time because we're worried about being judged wrongly. Talking to him about him being a furry and asking questions will probably make him happy and bring you closer together.
Title: Re: advice on furry dating for a non-fur
Post by: AirRaiser on October 03, 2010, 04:59:11 PM
I'd say think of it this way, if you base a relationship purely on a single aspect about someone, your very shallow. Being a furry is only one piece of the puzzle that makes up a person. You date someone because you want to, not because they are a furry or not. If you care for someone enough what they like shouldn't even cross your mind. I met my boyfriend at a furry con, he has a fursona, but he's slowly becoming a non fur. Do I care? Not in the least, I didn't start dating him because he was a furry, I started because I liked him.

Furries are people, and they can date who ever they please. There is no difference between a furry, an anime geek, scifi whatever, and every day people. They are just people who take more of an in depth interest in something. In the end we are all just people.