The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Seko on August 06, 2010, 08:51:49 AM
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Ok, around the forums ive noticed quite a few threads in which individuals talk about their problems and it seems to do them a world of good so i decided to (reluctantly) try this and talk about my problems...
straight of the bat, i have avoidance issues and am pretty much socially inept,This pretty much destroys my confidence in social situations so i turned to the internet for socialisation.
Recently my family has been pretty concerned towards the amount of time i spend on the internet, but the thing is that, personally,I feel trapped when i'm not online . The internet allows me to talk to people without letting my social anxiety get in the way, and from this I feel free.
And also on the internet i can express myself (mostly) and this makes me feel even more free.
A while ago I took my course choices for S3, and everything was ok, But then i realised that my dream job (doctor) was probably going to require socialisation with patients/families etc.etc. and shifted my choices towards veterinary work instead.
Ever day i just feel constricted by my limited confidence and my inibility to socialise...
i'm guessing my avoidancy issues may be from Primary school where i was bullied quite a bit, and also because my mum and dad split up when i was little and ive been living with my mum ever since which has left me kind of feminine, this along with the fact that the absence of my dad means that i am teased about homosexuality on a daily basis.
About 2 weeks ago i was going to buy a collar but i realised that i couldn't, there wasn't anything stopping me physically, but mentally i just couldn't do it, and what irritates me is that if i went out tomorrow to get collar is that the same thing would happen.
that about sums up my problems, advice would be appreciated...
thanks for your time....
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Sorry, I can't help you with with your first issue, but I'll say this about your other situation: Just do it. Even if a little voice pops into your head and you start to doubt yourself, just do it. Sorry if I'm sounding a little forceful, but sometimes you have to force yourself to do something even if you feel like you can't, otherwise you just end up with regret for not doing it.
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Sorry, I can't help you with with your first issue, but I'll say this about your other situation: Just do it. Even if a little voice pops into your head and you start to doubt yourself, just do it. Sorry if I'm sounding a little forceful, but sometimes you have to force yourself to do something even if you feel like you can't, otherwise you just end up with regret for not doing it.
thanks, your right...
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Good socialization skills takes practice, you'll get better at it as time progresses.
Just talk to people and don't be afraid of what they might say in return.
Don't anticipate what they might say (good or bad) since that is a confidence killer.
Talk, be yourself, be polite, and be respectful. This is the best way to make friends quickly.
That's the only advice I can give you, not sure if it helps.
Good luck.
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u need to solciliz more goto a bar now nd again
ud be surprised i first met my girl frend when i scamed her, as a complete stranger, with a cardtrick ( the 3 card monte ) at the local boozer
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Good socialization skills takes practice, you'll get better at it as time progresses.
Just talk to people and don't be afraid of what they might say in return.
Don't anticipate what they might say (good or bad) since that is a confidence killer.
Talk, be yourself, be polite, and be respectful. This is the best way to make friends quickly.
That's the only advice I can give you, not sure if it helps.
Good luck.
thanks for the advice ^_^
u need to solciliz more goto a bar now nd again
ud be surprised i first met my girl frend when i scamed her, as a complete stranger, with a cardtrick ( the 3 card monte ) at the local boozer
im underage atm,although il keep that in mind for future :)
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What! I never would of thought of you as such a person (not in a bad way). Your so nice and cute ;) well first, do you have any one close, even if its your mom (yea I talk to my mom a lot, but no one would think twice about saying something about it), there isn't a darn thing wrong with talking to your mom. And its ok to be a little femanim, girls like sensative guys, (sorry I don't know your sexuality), being teased about being homsexual, if your stright, and you know your stright, then it dosent matter. You should be perfectly fine with your sexuality, and if your gay (bi, bi-curious, ect.) Then sqrew them. Just because they are insecure about there own sexuality they have to try and tease you, don't let it bother you, ignore them, there isn't a darn thing wrong with you. Your not going to hell, and being damed for ever, your not some fag that wants to suck every one... (trying to keep it clean >>). So don't let it bother you. Your social issues, talking with someone close helps, and to me online firends can be just as close as real life friends. But you can't get face to face interaction. And to be happy you don't have to have a crap load of "friends", but I can count all my rl firends on one hand and I rather have them then a hundred ofther pwople. If you ever need to talk you can always pm me, I won't mind, and sorry if none of this is helpful. And one last thing. About being a docter, go for it, you might have to workbon your people skills, but, its the best thing you can do for your self, follow your dreams :) never let some one stop you
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What! I never would of thought of you as such a person (not in a bad way). Your so nice and cute ;) well first, do you have any one close, even if its your mom (yea I talk to my mom a lot, but no one would think twice about saying something about it), there isn't a darn thing wrong with talking to your mom. And its ok to be a little femanim, girls like sensative guys, (sorry I don't know your sexuality), being teased about being homsexual, if your stright, and you know your stright, then it dosent matter. You should be perfectly fine with your sexuality, and if your gay (bi, bi-curious, ect.) Then sqrew them. Just because they are insecure about there own sexuality they have to try and tease you, don't let it bother you, ignore them, there isn't a darn thing wrong with you. Your not going to hell, and being damed for ever, your not some fag that wants to suck every one... (trying to keep it clean >>). So don't let it bother you. Your social issues, talking with someone close helps, and to me online firends can be just as close as real life friends. But you can't get face to face interaction. And to be happy you don't have to have a crap load of "friends", but I can count all my rl firends on one hand and I rather have them then a hundred ofther pwople. If you ever need to talk you can always pm me, I won't mind, and sorry if none of this is helpful. And one last thing. About being a docter, go for it, you might have to workbon your people skills, but, its the best thing you can do for your self, follow your dreams :) never let some one stop you
ty sain ^_^, i wanna be a vet nao ^_^
and thanks for the insightful words
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yea, so how are you know?
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just kinda going through each day not giving a damn, and then im just kinda like "yo...." xD
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Yea that always helps, so you never answered my question, are you straight, gay, bi, bi-curious, human, dancer, ect
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oh, im straight, and im human ^_^
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llllaaaaammmmeee!!!!!.... the human part >>
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llllaaaaammmmeee!!!!!.... the human part >>
well referring to my physical form i am human, and mentally i can't really determine because physically my brain could hinder senses while increasing brain capacity so that i wouldn't even know.... :o
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OK i will quickly vent, WHY DID MY GF DUMP ME FOR BEING BI, WHY IS SHE SUCH A MORON. Why *Cries* :'( :(
Post Merge: August 10, 2010, 06:20:36 PM
Oh this was for your problem's, Sorry, my mistake
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thread redirection!
foxy is she couldn't accept you for who you are then maybe you couldn't accept her for what she was.....a shallow stuckup hussy....
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*Sigh* I guess, i will leave this thread for your problems though
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I'm a dancer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIZdjT1472Y&feature=av2n
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I'm a dancer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIZdjT1472Y&feature=av2n
I C watcha did thar ^_^
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Please stay on topic.
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I agree kinda, I spend a bit of time on the internet because I really can't do anything in real life, I live in a crappy place and despise everyone I know here.
But really socializing shouldn't be a problem, just try to keep yourself mentally prepared for a situation if you can.
And for the people hating you thing, just don't care. If they think you're gay for being feminine well screw them, if they are intolerant just don't care, find people who don't care, the people who do really don't matter since you're not gonna want to spend time with them.