The Furry Forums
Furry Chat => Rants and Advice => Topic started by: Alice The Necrofox on May 26, 2010, 03:18:46 AM
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Okay, little backstory first.
Rex is a furry who joined about 4 months ago, you may have known him on here as TheGrunge for a while. Now, he joined up on the IRC for a looong time and started an RP family on there with myself, Zachariah, BigBadWolf, and Spirit. He exchanged phone numbers with me and we had been talking for a while, just as friends. Normal stuff, like about the fandom, friends being butts, and crazy stuff going on in life. We were planning on meeting when I went up there to see the art show with my parents and we were both really excited about meeting each other in person. His parents, whom he guessed didn't know, or did know but were accepting, came down and... well here it is.
"this is basically what has happened over the yesterday and today.... I come home thinking that everything is fine and dandy.... I go downstairs to do my homework as usual before I go on the forums... but my mom and dad come into the room and want to have a talk.... It turns out they've been stalking me.... They already know I'm a furry and they know I've been hiding it... and they think that the fandom is a bad evil place and they are trying to brainwash it out of me.... So they took away my phone, and my ipod and internet, I'm only on here at school and the school has IRC blocked... basically they think that you are a sex offender or predator... or something along those lines... they refuse to believe anything I say.... and the only thing that makes me cautious... is that my mom traced your phone # and found that it was in Springfield, OR... or something... I don't know what to believe... and I don't want to believe them....I still believe you, and I'm not gonna let brotherhood go to waste... even If I have to keep it a secret.... for 2 years or so.... there is little to no chance I will be seeing you in October... but who knows... I told them that they should come with me to meet you... and they told me there's no way I am going to meet you..... *sighs* all I know is that they aren't going to stop me from being a furry.... no matter what they do, its a part of me... and they can't take it away... and I think you are still perfectly legitimate, and are as you say 16 in 10th grade high school in Eugene... also can you pass this message to the others..."
Is there anything I can do? to help?
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Well Shiro this sounds like it's out of your hands. Personally, dealing with overprotective parents isn't my forte because I don't have them. When they try to be I just laugh and threaten to burn the house down or do something crazy like hang myself in the garage...then they panic and leave me be. But everyone's parents are different.
If you want, what I've seen people do to prove their legitimacy is record a video of yourself. Talk about who you are and what you know. Let them know you're real and not some horny furry who's out to rape him and send it to him to show his parents. If that doesn't work then the cover of secrecy never hurt anybody. Pretend you're just a regular friend of his from school and meet him at his own house. That's what I do (armed of course).
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Lol I like how you ended that statement Spike, I think I would do almost the same Shiro :P
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A very sticky situation is what you've got there
tough I can't say anything because you've said it all there 0:)
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well...Sorry to hear this drama but over protective parents just need persuasive reasoning and shown the truth.
I can think of a few choices for you shiro.
1) Go through 2 years of bull crap till your 18 then you can do what ever you want freely and this sort of stuff can't stop you.
That is...if the age thing is the same there as it is here.
2) Show your parents the truth and tell em everything. That worked for me but I dunno if it will work for you. Then again, my parents are still pretty upset with me.
3) Become a ninja...well I dunno how that would help but it is an option.
4)Let things ride. See how events happened. Right now, I think events wont go in your favor.
5) the worst option of all, run away. this can't help in anyway. It is an unfortunate option but its there. This is one I recommend avoiding.
There's more options but those are the ones at the top of my head. Hope they help. Hope things get better for you shiro. You are an awesome foxeh friend and I would hate to lose you.
...I make it sound like your dieing...
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I'm sorry to hear that :(
I agree with the others. Depending on the circumstances, either be truthful or patient. I hope the best.
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@Buddy: It's not Shiro's parents that are causing the problem, it's his friend's.
@Shiro: Don't get too involved. Your friend and his parents need to work this out on their own. The only thing you could do is try to put together evidence that you have good intentions about meeting up. Whether or not his parents believe you though, you ought to go along with what they decide. Fighting them over it will only get you and your friend into trouble. And anyway... even if you can't visit each other now, his parents will not have control over him forever. Waiting a couple years or so to visit isn't as big of a deal as you may think.
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Sadly, i can't give any advice beyond what's already given, but the levels of misunderstanding we get as a community continues to astound me...
This makes my parents seem supremely relaxed, but even if they weren't, i'm 20 now, and their legal control over me is significantly diminished, though I still live at home. They worry about me, sure, and probably a lot more than they need to (i STILL get lectures when i get home late at night), but then, I didn't hide the fandom from them. I didn't quite tell them about it either, I just let them find out about it like I've done with everything else, and they accepted it immediately, even complimenting me on my art (that's how they found out. :$ T'was very embarrassing for me at the time.)
Overall, all I can say is that I hope things work out OK for you and Rex. Friends should be able to meet each other and hang out, it shouldn't matter that you've never met in person before and I just find this wrong in so many ways. It would be different if they had accepted the 'come meet him with me' offer, but they didn't and this seems like the work of furhaters to me, and if it makes it any easier on either of you, I do know how it is to have your parents refuse to pay attention to what you say, they were and still are like it with my marks. You'd think that I would pass a course the second time around if I could, but they don't seem to see that, only the marks I got in any other course (which were always great, rarely below 70% with minimal effort even the year I decided to try advanced math) and the fact that i'm a fair bit above the average IQ (it's sort of a requirement to be diagnosed with a learning disability, and I'm disgraphic [VERY basicly, I have trouble writing]).
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This is pretty bad bro, I can't say much. You've gotta try and find a way to convince Rex's parents that furries aren't anything messed up, but you can't do much really, this advice would be best to give to Rex himself, and there aren't contacting methods as far as I see.
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That's.... ridiculous....
I dont think there's anything you CAN do when it gets to that point.....
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That sure is a tricky situation, but i dont think there is anything you can do at this point. This is something he will have to work out with his parents.
I can understand that they are a bit over protective when it comes to internet friends. It is very easy for people to pretend they are someone else and take advantage of that.
Just wait it out for a few days/weeks and hope his parents will calm down a little, and see that not everyone out there has bad intentions....
even complimenting me on my art (that's how they found out. :$ T'was very embarrassing for me at the time.)
Same thing with my parents/friends, I have never been asked about the drawings in my room or my furry avatars on forums etc. I guess some must have already made the connection, but i still fear the day someone asks if i am a furry :S
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Shiro my friend, i have nothing but empathy for your situation. i say wait till ur 18 then meet him, there really isn't much else you can do that won't have dire consciences. whatever you decide to do i wish u luck.
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Good luck shiro chan
may the might of dragons fuel your actions and may there always be wind in your wings [insert bowing emote here]
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Im sorry, but your friend's luck is thinner than a piece of my fur.
A few things is can recommend for your friend:-
-DO NOT let them google, search on youtube, or do any other type of search on furries. Take them through the forum and show them what being a furry is all about (don't let them see the thread about what you actually look like though...)
-Draw furries, tell them that it is ust a style of art you enjoy and nothing more (might be a lie, but would be worth it).
-About meeting your friend, I think the chances are EXTREMELY slim. Most parents wouldn't want their kid to meet someone they met on the internet in person (especially mine).
-Can you vchat? if so, just do that with your parents
I hope that everything works out for the best, and good luck with what ever you try (<—@Rex) and good job Shiro for being a good friend to rex and helping him out.
~Crimson Fox
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well things are a little better now shiro :) My parents have warmed up to the idea a bit, and basically accepted that they can't change it , who knows, maybe I can convince my dad to let me come meet you :D At this point I'm not really sure... but at least things are better!
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its funny how its always your parents that stalk you.
mum: blablabla about my fb and how much is on it blabla i dont want you to get stalked
me: youre the one whos stalking me?
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I know parents = stalkers tis strange.
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they way I see it, its hard to change a path which is already laid out. are your parents religious in any way? if someone tried to change their beliefs, how would they feel or act? parents dont have to agree with everything you do, but they should support you none the less.
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It's hard for my parents to keep tabs on me. I'm never around. xD
If they knew what I was doing, I'd be so dead. :O
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lol, yeah they are religious, Its not really my beliefs that changed, its that they have a general dislike for the fandom cause it's different.... *sigh*... I just wish they'd leave me alone...
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lol, yeah they are religious, Its not really my beliefs that changed, its that they have a general dislike for the fandom cause it's different.... *sigh*... I just wish they'd leave me alone...
If religions a problem I help you make them change their mind. I know a lot about religion and had to do a lot of study to make the puzzle fit together.
But that's something I really don't like, when people dislike something for being different. I don't understand it, but I'm probably different enough.
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lol, yeah they are religious, Its not really my beliefs that changed, its that they have a general dislike for the fandom cause it's different.... *sigh*... I just wish they'd leave me alone...
Well I haven't told my parent's that I am a furry but I will try and keep it a secret till I am old enough to move out the i will be free :)
I guess until then i will pass time on this forum :(
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lol, yeah they are religious, Its not really my beliefs that changed, its that they have a general dislike for the fandom cause it's different.... *sigh*... I just wish they'd leave me alone...
Well I haven't told my parent's that I am a furry but I will try and keep it a secret till I am old enough to move out the i will be free :)
I guess until then i will pass time on this forum :(
be careful.... Its not as easy to hide as you think... I was being sneaky... I didn't tell them. They found out, I had the same plan in mind.... just be careful...
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lol, yeah they are religious, Its not really my beliefs that changed, its that they have a general dislike for the fandom cause it's different.... *sigh*... I just wish they'd leave me alone...
Well I haven't told my parent's that I am a furry but I will try and keep it a secret till I am old enough to move out the i will be free :)
I guess until then i will pass time on this forum :(
be careful.... Its not as easy to hide as you think... I was being sneaky... I didn't tell them. They found out, I had the same plan in mind.... just be careful...
So rex what is your story of becoming a furry and how long have you been one :?
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It's hard for my parents to keep tabs on me. I'm never around. xD
If they knew what I was doing, I'd be so dead. :O
LoL what have you been doing
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Ive been a fur for about 5 and a half months, and I already loved anthro characters, through movies and stuff. When I found some animation labled furry I was curious, so I looked into it and 6 months later here I am a full blown proud arctic fox n.n!
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Anyway i am just tying to stop meh parent's from finding out, i have read this thing that say's if your are a furry you DON'T need to come out cause it is just a hobby
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Anyway i am just tying to stop meh parent's from finding out, i have read this thing that say's if your are a furry you DON'T need to come out cause it is just a hobby
Well, that's only partialy true, well for me anyway. Maybe others are lucky enough to have it as a hobby, but I'm more of a lifestyler, so its not only a lifestyle choice, but also spiritual as well.
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Jesus! your parents scare the crap out of me! My friend's parents don't even let him play M games or watchR movies and here I thought they were scary! you have problems u need to tell them calmly about furries. U know educate them on you're hobby or watever u want to call it. So they aren't so surprised or watever. Don't keep it a secret from them anylonger. They should understand sometime
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YOU NEED TO READ THIS. U need to understand that your parents fear of war u are is shrouded In made up facts that they have dramatized. In order to set things straight u need to understand way they think of u as a furry and tell them way it really is.
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dude i hope thing work out for ya