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Creative Arts and Media => Creative Writing => Topic started by: Niala Ornitier on February 27, 2010, 01:03:32 AM

Title: poetic fright!
Post by: Niala Ornitier on February 27, 2010, 01:03:32 AM

here is a wonderfully horrid poem i wrote for my sis on halloween XD

Happy Halloween

Footsteps grow louder
Thunder roars through the clouds
Lights Flicker
a knock on the door
a creak in the floor
no one has moved an inch
scratch at the window
bump on the roof
It's raining, it's pounding
groans from the bathroom
screams from the kitchen
no one has moved an inch
first there were 7 now there are 4
all huddled up in a ball
blood seeps through the cracks in the roof
splinters of wood arise from the floor
hands breaking out of the boards
all you can see is the blood on their face
as they creep up and say "trick or treat"

Title: Re: poetic fright!
Post by: Asia Kali Yusufzai on February 27, 2010, 01:42:40 AM

I like it, it's fun, it's light, almost Michael Rosen-esque
there's the occasional simplistic rhyme, but mostly they're fun and firm.

Nice one.

Title: Re: poetic fright!
Post by: Niala Ornitier on February 27, 2010, 01:57:59 AM

lol it WAS written for a 10 year old :3 who craved a scare...told me she had a nightmare i was all XD

Title: Re: poetic fright!
Post by: Moongaze on March 12, 2010, 10:33:21 PM

Excellent.  Definitely a great spooky poem.  The only complain you'll get from me is...

Lack of punctuation.  I know it sounds a bit strange; nevertheless, in poetry you need to know when to separate thoughts and indicate pauses.  Use of commas, periods, and spaces between a few lines will be just fine.  Other than that...  It's excellent.

Title: Re: poetic fright!
Post by: Niala Ornitier on March 12, 2010, 10:36:46 PM

lol yes i agree, when i wrote it i wasn't thinking about that. But yes i agree :3

Title: Re: poetic fright!
Post by: Nyyrikkia Anikeria on March 20, 2010, 04:44:31 PM

*cracks up laughing* I'm sorry but I can just imagine your sisters reaction XD

Title: Re: poetic fright!
Post by: Niala Ornitier on March 22, 2010, 05:57:36 AM

:D i saw it IT WAS FRIKKEN PRICELESS!!!! B)

Title: Re: poetic fright!
Post by: Nyyrikkia Anikeria on March 22, 2010, 09:57:34 AM

You should have videotaped it! XD